HOME | DD
stipend — as i muse...
Published: 2008-11-02 03:36:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 1401; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 9
Redirect to original
Description
by Nathaniel Ridder © 2007{fini} on Sep 12, 2007
the book is complete
as i muse... {irony} on Sep 12, 2007
someone said goodbye,
so i said hello.
someone gave a nod,
as if i should know.
someone broke a promise,
feeling that i missed.
someone held among us,
so i blew a kiss.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {bide} on Sep 11, 2007
caged,
if only to fly
fools,
live only to die
wait,
attempting to see
youth,
surprise within me
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {scape} on Sep 10, 2007
contradiction,
of another kind-
walking sideways,
never on my mind
thoughts of malice
everybody shows
bring us a pigeon
nothing in a rose
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {exhibitionist} on Sep 7, 2007
follow me darling,
land that i know-
empty exhibit,
soon adding a show-
walls with fine paintings,
pulled canvas for dye
waiting for feelings,
the nature to cry
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {drain} on Sep 7, 2007
black as the sun
cold in the night
black as an angel
long without flight
black as forgiveness,
absence thereof-
black as emptiness,
life without love
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {scarlet} on Sep 7, 2007
wish that i could love her,
angel from the sky-
wings of silky feathers,
pass my poor soul by-
truth- i can't afford her,
lives just like a queen-
sadly move beyond her,
let the goddess preen.
~thaniel ridder
{tonewood of driftwood} on Aug 30, 2007
"have i not brought both together?
have all sides not found compromise to court?
i do not seek the end or destruction of any.
all have been the oppressor, the tyrant-
all have been the victim, just as all see madness.
do not rush to judge, do not cast away-
'enemy' is the first falter of many to come.
embrace foe and seek friendship/fellowship,
those who do not welcome others
will live in torment for all eternity-"
Shiva
as i muse... {sleeper} on Aug 28, 2007
to marry a shark,
i cannot tell how-
fall with her peacefully,
sunset at brow-
in smoke and lit ashes,
to this disappear-
angels lost softly,
no longer a queer.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {pages} on Aug 19, 2007
on a shelf the angel sits-
in a land forgotten
on a mind grasping wits-
in a soul begotten
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {clove} on Aug 13, 2007
somebody smiled
"you didn't exist"
gathering closely
shadows in mist
"we are the angels"
cries from above-
"cover the world!"
wings of a dove
"be sure to follow-
steps in the sand,
traverse the nations-
cover the land!
for there is a darkness,
that must not persist!
do not let it swallow,
the world that it kissed!"
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {gypsy} on Aug 13, 2007
"a couple of drops and you'll see the sky-
but just for a second- care for a try?"
"'care for a try?' i surely insist!
give me a glance, this shouldn't be missed!
so lay the spell on me, i've got to get out!
this new world entombs me!" i muster a pout...
so with a glass topper, from the bottle she pulls-
a fine metal stopper- a hall of echoes.
within lay the potion, a liquid in well-
almost to taste it, escape with a spell!
if not for a fine breeze- the bottle, it broke-
leaving my ashes, without any smoke.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {sunset} on Aug 13, 2007
leather skin upon the brow,
years of folds follow the plow-
leaving acres for the cow,
time for silence, do allow.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {cigar} on Aug 13, 2007
round the maple as reapers-
gathered to snuff a land out,
clearing the table as sweepers-
poker chips layered in clout.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {button} on Aug 13, 2007
on my belly is a button
and it really looks like nuttin
still I'm very bright & chipper
'cause my button's not a zipper
~mums
as i muse... {coin} on Aug 11, 2007
in between the blankets,
underneath the sheets-
haven't got a mattress,
clinging to the streets.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {shh} on Aug 9, 2007
we'll keep it a secret,
may nobody know-
we'll walk on for miles,
play in the snow-
and when there are stars,
lighting the sky-
we'll lay on the ground,
watching them by.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {knot} on Aug 9, 2007
complicated, feeling distraught-
acclimated, things i forgot-
motivated, fractions i wrought-
situated, angels i sought.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {climb} on Aug 9, 2007
out of synch,
chain off my bike...
i stop to put it back on.
the laughter, the smiles-
i'll be alright.
as i muse... {ox paus} on Aug 6, 2007
if winners write history-
why celebrate the fourth?
as i muse... {sanctuary} on Aug 6, 2007
mortuary,
mother mary-
lost to an obituary.
syndication,
undertow-
children left to never know.
angel dust,
forgotten wings-
long among the fallen kings.
~thaniel ridder
{redemption} on Jul 29, 2007
the ethical expression of hopelessness requires redemption.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {shadow} on Jul 29, 2007
who's the figure in the tower?
this i cannot see,
as i stand below in cower-
the figure flips through me.
as i muse... {juxtaposition} on Jul 28, 2007
life in a world where the axis won
the "supreme race" found in tibet
everyone wallows in shallow grave-
prisoners forever in debt.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {scar} on Jul 26, 2007
she might have remembered-
if i didn't show,
mere presence impairs them-
get up and go,
so how should i follow?
politely i leave,
show me the exit-
so i can believe.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {static} on Jul 26, 2007
do you see them
trapped in the night
wandering aimless
long without light
where do they come from
where do they go
how come i see them
what do you know
is there an answer
i cannot tell
lend me a beacon
deep in the well
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {spear} on Jul 25, 2007
royals claim clairvoyance,
visions yet to pass,
songs pulled of the future,
drinking blades of glass-
will their souls ascend us?
surely they could tell-
groping to remind us,
penny down a well...
if only it were simple,
likely then they'd flee-
raise a lonely temple,
deep within the sea.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {ruach} on Jul 25, 2007
the five, they were invisible
the fifth one i knew well
the fourth had saved a martyr's soul
the third had lived to tell
the second bled among the worst
the first sustains the quell
when all is done the world remains-
spared of jihad's spell.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {gallow} on Jul 25, 2007
sallow, color i wear
hallow, soul that i bare
mallow, ghost that i see
fallow, grave within me
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {psalm} on Jul 23, 2007
held a poem in my hand,
the left one let it out...
words were scrawled with letters,
ripped from years of doubt.
"deep within the lost-
the ashes fell away,
leaving only cinders...
lying in the tray."
ambers grew to angels,
angels wrought with song-
"bring him home to greet us,
for it has been too long."
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {needle} on Jul 23, 2007
clock... sputter and spin
life... lived only by whim
where? did all this begin
left, to pull out the pin
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {widow} on Jul 8, 2007
saved a spider, skull on it's back
filled with venom, conciousness black
saw the stars, lord in the sky
begged wonder, ready to die?
shed a tear, old memory
bad religion, god let me be
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {valentine} on Jul 6, 2007
hadn't time, dig it deeper-
grave i'll occupy...
tried to manage, box of cedar-
in which i would lie...
dressed my best, meet the reaper-
please don't pass me by...
longed for years, chance to meet her-
simply had to try.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {the cynic} on Jul 4, 2007
i saw the devil,
with my own eyes-
a glance in the mirror,
an end to the lies.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {wash} on Jul 4, 2007
words of a sinner,
words of a saint-
walk of the winner,
walls without paint.
walls without paint-
nothing to bare,
left in the wild-
nothing to wear.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {retrospect} on Jul 3, 2007
my father in heaven
my father of earth
my father in spirit
my father of birth
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {bottle} on Jul 1, 2007
smoke...
all that you are-
an empty mirror,
life from afar.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {eloquence} on Jun 24, 2007
someone held a glass,
a song i didn't sing.
someone stood to clap,
a speech i didn't mean.
someone wrote a verse,
a thought i didn't have.
someone gave applause,
a berg i didn't calve.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {passe} on Jun 24, 2007
why collect pictures of despots?
i collect portraits of kings.
why collect musings of tyrants?
i collect angels with wings.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {the nationalist} on Jun 22, 2007
care not for nations and boundary lines,
care only for children the world left behind.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {hostel} on Jun 22, 2007
safe among madmen-
this i do not agree,
death to the dutchmen-
the blood within me.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {image} on Jun 21, 2007
who created anger?
who created death.
who created sutures?
who created meth.
who created sorrow?
who created pain.
who created violence?
who created rain.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {nails} on Jun 21, 2007
when alone-
the cat doesn't claw,
when alone-
the rat doesn't gnaw.
when alone.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {blade} on Jun 21, 2007
clean within the chest,
clear upon the part-
sharp within the depths,
cold upon the heart.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {the seen} on Jun 21, 2007
tell me the tale of a fallen moon,
shards fall from the sky-
orbit lost within the womb,
man to slowly die.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {traveller} on Jun 20, 2007
gray...
while you walk away.
silent lips...
everything you say.
sullen prose...
vagrant tales of past-
hold your own,
every stone you cast.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {frost} on Jun 15, 2007
hollow in prison,
lone without ease-
lost in decision,
cold in the freeze.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {touché} on Jun 8, 2007
may paranoia and insanity consume the vision of those who would destroy the gods,
as this will consol their resolve and embolden their plight.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {escape} on Jun 5, 2007
fire deep within the ground,
the coal mine won't burnout-
miners run from all around,
they've found an old way out.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {spacial} on Jun 3, 2007
words without song,
song without tune-
living a life,
cold on the moon.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {steps} on Jun 3, 2007
pausing to whisper-
nothing to say
breathing to fly-
notes to convey
longing to dance-
lone to a tune
finding that song-
moan to the moon
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {paradigm} on May 26, 2007
taken, as a child-
never at home.
raised only to question-
forever alone
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {breathe} on May 22, 2007
reached a plateau.
thinking... only of you
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {ultimatum} on May 17, 2007
consider this an empty plea- to hold the world at ease,
time alone in silent walk- a whisper in the breeze...
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {ghost} on May 14, 2007
the silent scream...
lungs pressed hard-
splitting...
empty.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {cage} on May 11, 2007
godless-
why do you walk alone?
thoughts of sleep,
reality's not home-
~thaniel ridder
{intermission} on May 2, 2007
j'ai besoin d'un petit entr’acte
as i muse... {reprise} on May 2, 2007
tell me, how may things have been?
would the world be at peace?
i'm not sure it ever will...
man carries an animal instinct-
to survive.
whether rich-
poor,
endowed-
impotent.
we claw for what we can-
sharing foundation...
in what keeps us apart.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {jurisprudence} on Apr 30, 2007
i was the juror- the room almost black.
over my shoulder- the moon on my back.
i hadn't religion- to guide me to close,
the case on my mind in endless echoes.
what was the reason? i hadn't the time-
court was in session, a toss of the dime.
the toss of a dime, my case came to end-
was there a verdict? let's just pretend...
~thaniel ridder
as i rues... {shame} on Apr 26, 2007
i didn't ask her out...
she was beautiful.
her eyes- her attentions.
i managed the courage-
she was gone...
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {purpose} on Apr 24, 2007
i watched them- working, within the display.
sweeping- where no feet had been,
dusting- with no dust within.
they were passing time,
just passing time.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {flight} on Apr 23, 2007
sie fliegen zum die schwarzen tag...
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {laugh} on Apr 22, 2007
wie ich lache... wie alles lache.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {invisible} on Apr 18, 2007
"why does god let such things happen?
surely there isn't a god, surely angels do not exist."
"god is merely testing my faith."
i take issue with both directly, god doesn't let such things happen-
god doesn't test faith with pain.
angels? they may come as people,
perhaps the clerk who bagged your groceries-
who engaged you with conversation and a smile.
everyone can be an angel.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {fallen} on Apr 16, 2007
snow is an angel, lost in a mist-
snow is an angel- god never kissed
snow is an angel- falling to ground,
snow is an angel- wings without sound.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {hurt} on Apr 5, 2007
was nursing a black eye late last night,
when i heard the heartbreaking sound of a lost dog-
wandering, looking for its master... crying.
little whimpers- i got up,
my heart aching to welcome the pup home.
much as i tried, i saw nothing...
one day i will find my friend,
we'll go for a long walk- guided,
by the white light of the moon.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {census} on Mar 31, 2007
i love to walk... walked by your place.
i've seen the light bleed through the tightly pulled drapes.
i've seen the cracks that feed the splintered fissures of your life,
the splits in the sidewalk- the bleached surface on which your life resides.
i know your sins.
i am your sins.
you are mine.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {tunnel} on Mar 17, 2007
as i reach to touch the sky- to touch the sky (while others die?)
while others die (this cannot be) i reach alone (i cannot see)
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {visceral} on Mar 17, 2007
there's more to life than what it seems,
than what it seems- in others dreams.
in others dreams, we eat our meals,
to keep our breath, to spin our wheels-
to spin our wheels? another day-
another life, a mile away.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {slave} on Mar 12, 2007
no longer do they dream the same,
no longer do they dream.
living life in endless pain- never time to scream.
when they see an end to sight, no longer do they fear-
living life without a light,
there's nothing to appear.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {wander} on Jan 20, 2007
at night she went to see the fair, one wonders why- when no one's there?
she climbed the gate and entered darkness- within its grasp she wore a harness.
once trapped within, she couldn't leave- without her soul she couldn't believe.
~thaniel ridder
as i muse... {letter} on Dec 21, 2006
a question left my mind at ease, the answer never true.
i wrote the words as i could find, a note i left for you.
~thaniel ridder
Related content
Comments: 47
I found too many favorites to pick just one. Here are three of the many:
eloquence, blade, and letter
Thank you for sharing your experience. What a beautiful collection!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i'm honored 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It's very open - images and interpretations. It's almost like flipping though a photo album. I like how you kept to a structure - { }. That tied the whole thing together; made it one work, one thing, one creation, instead of just graffiti (not that I have anything against graffiti, but graffiti is one thing and a book of poetry is another). I like this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thx for taking the time to read it max, the support rocks
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Go to my gallery than click on Myth and Misc. Should be in there I think
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Your welcome, There should be some stories in there as well as the old poems to my wife when we were dating
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah, fun reads 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
At a Salvation Army Bible School. As it says in my old bio my parents are SA Officers and I was Goliath during Bible school for the kids.
I was so lonly at the time. Marie, My wifes cousen who hadn't seen her for years was talking to her as she came in.
Here comes the funny part...
"How old are you now?" Marie asked Noelle. "Twenty one." She responded to her.
I was so desperate. That was the exact same age as I. You need to understand that where ever I went I was around teenagers, preteens, teenagers, preteen, and adults that were 40 and over
I was so desperate, I didn't know this girl, I said out loud. "Im Twenty One too!"-
She stopped, Turned and looked at me with a grin... But it was an okward grin like who is this guy
She said. "Okay, Im gonna go now." She turned and left for the upstairs chapel.
A month later I proposed to her cause I didn't want to loose her. Every other girl left me, Marriage was the only way I could keep her... I didn't want to be alone again
We had so much fun and adventure when we were dating for that month, I wish she still had those feelings of fun but once your married all the fun goes out the window and so dose her looks
Marriage changes a person... No one is ever the same after that
we've been married for two years now and since then had a little one A year old now named Tayla Anne.
I love them both.
If you ever get Married don't think that it's going to be all easy, Heaven, And Cakes
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"i hate my life" sorry
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Things have changed since I typed that to you. My wife is trying to change for the better and Im proud of her for that
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
my pleasure!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ah, i can't wait to see your paintings! get them up on dA!
things are well, the family business will be launching dec 15 (hopefully) you can check us out here
oh, and i uploaded my 1st childrens book to dA, check it out!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wow.. these are great, you really have a way with your feelings and you're words, but most of all, the confidence to expose yourself. they'r really great!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you
enjoying school?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Damn! I liked the driftwood one... I cant remember alot of the others, but that was awesome!
Truth I did not read all of them, ten or fifteen... but Ill come back for the rest!
Plus that gives you more views so dont complain XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you! you don't have to read them all XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
as i muse... {purpose} on Apr 24, 2007
found it. =]
"I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why."
— Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
hes a wallflower too
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
So you can draw and write...a true artist. Able to mold feelings and thoughts into both fluid words and detailed drawings.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
much thanks!
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
They are all fantastic! I was trying to pick one to explain as my favorite, but I couldn't pick. Amazing job, I look forward to reading more of your work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Wow..
Thats s deep..
you picture your feeling perfectly into words..
amazing poem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks willie! i was definitely emotive in my writings
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
no worries,
u deserve the best..
keep it up..
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The Cynic is an amazing poem. such strong words.
my favorite would have to be Climb though. it always has been. =]
you bleed beautiful words Nate
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(the cynic)
i saw the devil,
with my own eyes-
a glance in the mirror,
an end to the lies.
(climb)
out of synch,
chain off my bike...
i stop to put it back on.
the laughter, the smiles-
i'll be alright.
thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That's a wonderful collection. My favorite is June 3, 2007 {steps}. I like the more staccato rhythm. It really has meaning for me. Great work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pausing to whisper-
nothing to say
breathing to fly-
notes to convey
longing to dance-
lone to a tune
finding that song-
moan to the moon
yeah, i had fun writing the rhythm, thx!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you my friend, i put my soul into this
👍: 0 ⏩: 0