Description
They loved their garden;
Mother and Daughter would spend
Hours in the sun.
Behind their house was
Green dotted with red, yellow,
Pink and countless more.
Mother loved roses;
Daughter preferred irises.
They planted with care.
They watched the sun rise
While blowing dandelions,
And mimicked at dusk.
Their birdbaths brought in
Winged visitors who were
Greeted with bird seed.
All meals were eaten
On a polka-dot blanket;
Nothing but home-cooked.
Catching butterflies,
Looking for funny-shaped clouds,
Climbing the oak tree.
They ran, danced and sang,
Never tiring of their
Love for each other.
Daughter did not think
That her days with Mother would
Ever reach an end.
When the doorbell rang,
And Mother answered the door,
Daughter heard her scream.
"I want to see her,"
Said the angry man outside,
Firearm in hand.
Fits of drunken rage,
Screams, scars, curses and regrets
Ran through Mother's mind.
She slammed the door shut,
Returned to the garden and
Squeezed her child's hand.
He leaped past the fence,
Demanded to see Daughter,
Eyes full of cold hate.
He who left Mother
With a child and no home
Took aim and fired.
Red spilled onto green,
Both being sprinkled with tears
From Daughter's wide eyes.
He took hold of her,
Only she would not leave her
Mother's lifeless side.
She flailed all about,
Drawing curse words from the man
Who dragged her away.
He did not witness
Red soaking into green and
Strengthening the plants.
He gasped when the vines
Pulled the gun out of his hand
And opened fire.
"No one will take her",
Rang Mother's voice as ivy
Domed the whole garden.
From the soil rose
Dirt body, rose eyes, vine hair,
And mother's kind words.
"I will never leave",
She said, giving an iris
To her smiling girl.
Mother and Daughter
Were never separated
By anything else.
Comments: 97
oviedomedina [2017-09-19 19:22:33 +0000 UTC]
This was an excellent story!
Love the versed format as well!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
aquagirl7 [2017-09-19 16:18:08 +0000 UTC]
Your poem has a beautiful and concise narrative. I love the twist!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StrangelyShiny In reply to Fictasy [2017-09-04 00:09:58 +0000 UTC]
Awwww, thank you very much! I felt good about this one, but I never would've guessed it would end up being a daily deviation. ;w;
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ilovechu [2017-07-26 02:09:16 +0000 UTC]
Nice job!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
shining-char [2017-07-19 16:45:14 +0000 UTC]
Wow. This tells an amazing story, I could never write a poem as good as this. Keep up the amazing work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ChocoBerryINK [2017-03-21 16:48:32 +0000 UTC]
It's very nice ;u;
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StrangelyShiny In reply to ElegantLadyAlex [2017-02-26 23:02:26 +0000 UTC]
Ehehehe! I'm just glad that whatever you're feeling is positive. ^.^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lauren654 [2017-02-25 00:11:32 +0000 UTC]
I have never had feels hit so fast.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StrangelyShiny In reply to lauren654 [2017-02-25 04:45:41 +0000 UTC]
;w;
I'm honored to hear you felt that way. ^w^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
gridtakno [2017-02-20 10:20:24 +0000 UTC]
I really enjoyed reading this. It is really good. I don't know if you noticed but if it was meant to be in haiku format some of your sections near the center left off trail for a bit then picked up on normal path again. Just giving my observations since I noticed you said you did some heavy editing on this in another comment. I still really enjoyed it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StrangelyShiny In reply to gridtakno [2017-02-20 23:33:15 +0000 UTC]
That's a good point. I was a bit nervous about that when writing, so I kinda went with my gut and hoped it worked out. xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
gridtakno In reply to StrangelyShiny [2017-02-20 23:39:53 +0000 UTC]
Yeah my friend and I like to do haikus a lot. We've made similar mistakes where the syllables for line 2 sound like it matches 7 when we say the word but really it's just how we actually say it. But when you break it down it really is only 6 syllables. But I still really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work😁
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StrangelyShiny In reply to gridtakno [2017-02-20 23:57:16 +0000 UTC]
Ahhhhhh! Thank you for becoming my unofficial 250th watcher! (I say unofficial because I'm being watched by two people with multiple accounts, but I appreciate it all the same! <3 )
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StartANewLif3 [2017-02-19 05:50:19 +0000 UTC]
This reminds me of my favorite novel The Ruins.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StartANewLif3 In reply to StrangelyShiny [2017-03-07 13:00:43 +0000 UTC]
I'll try to be vague, in case you want to check it out and give it a read.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's a horror novel where a group of vacationists got trapped in an archaeological dig/ruin overgrown with vines.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dragon-roar [2017-02-18 06:10:40 +0000 UTC]
This is a really nice poem, you should keep writing them
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Catnessa [2017-02-18 03:12:55 +0000 UTC]
Oh, this is so beautiful! It's just so touching.......*sniffles*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
JC-Solis01 In reply to StrangelyShiny [2017-02-18 05:29:13 +0000 UTC]
Oh it definitely is. You were able to tell a story in a very unorthodox manner. Your poem was a masterpiece, something fine and well created. I imagine it must have taken time to craft the poem like this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ChaosShadow [2017-02-17 23:43:56 +0000 UTC]
Hah, all right. I went into this expecting a typical Daily Deviation about the rose-colored past being tainted by tragedy and suddenly there's a vengeful plant-woman zombie murdering a gunman.
Well played, sir.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
StrangelyShiny In reply to ChaosShadow [2017-02-17 23:47:18 +0000 UTC]
Pfffff. Suddenly my poem doesn't sound quite as elegant, but that sounds too awesome for me to care. xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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