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SundayPrism — Here
Published: 2010-02-23 03:29:41 +0000 UTC; Views: 136; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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HereI'm lying, here,
with a hard, gray, sun-baked
mattress beneath me.
Far from uncomfortable,
yet forcing me to conform
with it's curvature.
It is my anchor,
old, smooth, and planted,
unchanging
against all this fluid,
vibrant, virtual vitality
that makes my base's abode.
It rests, here,
cradled among many of its kind,
yet obviously the veteran.
Substantial in its girth,
but, as such things,
occasionally, contradict,
hidden within its intimidating expanse,
humble, quiescent, and passive,
unconcerned
with the elements that surround,
rushing, rapidly rolling
around and against my berth.
And that element, here,
surrounding my hardened hammock,
knows not what it does.
It merely flows with the current
and follows whichever way
the forces of nature may lead.
The pellucid aqueous vein
that preserves this lush environ
unceasing,
never asking for anything in return.
Courteous, consummate, cerulean copy
of the azure eternal zenith.
Waiting, I'm here,
enveloped by this serenity
that comforts my soul.
I feel myself swimming
in these colors and sounds
as though they are the oils of life.
Composition of a paradisal venue
that invites me wholeheartedly,
unbiased,
beckoning me to share the elysian consciousness.
Smoothing, soothing, and silencing
all the tedious anxieties of my heart.
Join me,
Here.
By: Justin Sunday
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Comments: 2
That looks exactly like what i wrote in my blog about what I think about when I try to sleep, remember? haha if you want a real critique, I can try that too.
-The overall shape and length are appropriate for the thought. The particular vocabulary you use doesn't seem to flow together right, leaving the reader a little confused. Quit using the word "zenith" in everything you write! haha.. I like the feel of it though.
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Really? Which blog man? Haha, I actually wrote this poem a long time ago! I just never uploaded it to Deviantart for some reason... So, I finally did. But, seriously, which blog do you mean, man, so I can go back and refresh my memory.
Haha, HEY! I only used zenith in two of my poems. I think that word just fits nicely for what I'm going for in those instances 
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