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Description
Titelutterflies and Hurricanes

Autor: Noda or Sweet Poem

Rating: PG-12

Genre: Drama

Typ: Standalone

Summary: Chester knew this was the moment he had to choose. Between Talinda and Michael. Both as different as possible, but in his heart the same. Chester was not ready to decide. He could only lose.

Disclaimer: Linkin Park is not mine. Never have and never will.

Story is betad by my friend Yuki, thanks sweety!

***

"My stomach hurts."

The loud noise of chairs scraped over wood package, overlay the softly spoken words. However, the hidden request didn’t escape. Mike caressed Chester’s knee under the table. Through the denim material the older could hardly feel it, but Chester lived only for such small tendernesses. That was everything he got, his only sunlight in the future, however, only a weak image of his past.

"Stop eating," Mike replied with a smile, only for Chester.

"May I?"

"Sweety, you should really stop when your stomach hurts, okay?" Mike coated Chester’s leg lovingly, aware of the angry gaze Joe gave them.

Red lips formed another smile, which Chester liked even better than the previous one.

White flashes between red. Brilliant as the tablecloth. Chester still continued chewing a large piece of steak.

"What will happen to my food?"

"The hotel staff will put it in the trash."

"That's about the children in Africa?" Chester asked confused. He was worried. Yesterday he saw a child sitting in the dirt on TV. With bloated belly and a bony face dominated by huge, dark eyes. Something in the picture bothered him beyond the obvious. It made Chester crazy.

If he would ask Brad, Mike, Rob or Joe about this feeling, they would know. They hadn’t forgot. A year ago, the band had locked themselves up in the studio for the fourth time to work on the new album. Shortly afterwards Chester’s life changed for bad. He mutated from a family man with a nice and understanding wife and four sons, into a helpless and dependent small child.

"Chester, place the knife down!"

Immediately the knife was dropped with loud clatter onto the half full plate. Mike had brought him all the good stuff. The Emcee had no clue what Chester wanted, because the singer lately couldn’t even speak for his own taste. Peas rolled on the tablecloth and ended unnoticed on the ground. The remaining food landed in the trash, like Mike had said. The children in Africa would continue starving.

***

"You chose wrong!"

"I ..."

"Damn, I'm your wife!"

Chester remained silent.

"It‘s your decision. You choose him, it’s your own fault!"

"Tali?"

"What about Tyler?"

"I love him and will forever"

"Whom? This coward? "

"Tyler. I love Tyler. He’s my son!" Chester whispered with reddened eyes.

"You'll never see him again and I will ensure that Jaime and Isaiah don’t stay with you! I was dumb to marry you! Even dumber to not listen to my parents in the first place."

"You can’t…," Chester yelled, his voice cracked and then went quiet. Drown by cries of agony.

***

„Is this the right? “ Chester pointed at a black sock, „or this? “, he asked and placed an identical, black sock beside it.

Although both were alike, Chester nevertheless didn’t want to do anything wrong on this important day. How would it look like, if he stood on the red carpet with his socks on the wrong feet? The people would laugh! ‘Even too stupid to dress!’ they would yell and be right.

„It doesn’t matter.” Mike finally said, having found the toothbrush he was looking for in his traveling bag.

„You sure, what if… “

„This one is the right, this the left.“

Even if the Emcee was excited and frightened because this was a important day, there had to be room for Chester’s daily thousand-question-game.

Chester put the socks on his feet. Admiring Mikes sense of judgement.

***

"I love you."

The words hung there for a moment in the hot breeze. Chester sat up frightened. The lawn under him almost dead, killed by the heat of the summer. Mike was half sitting , propped up on his arms. Smiling.

Chester knew this was the moment he had to choose. Between Talinda and Michael. Both as different as possible, but in his heart the same. Chester was not ready to decide. He could only lose. That was like to choose between food and water. Without the other, one would die. But Mike's gentle smile ousted the bad. How could he say "No", when something beautiful called for him.

"I love you, too."

***

„He’s crazy, Mike! “

„’He’ is perfectly fine and can hear even better, you asshole!“

Everyone knew Chester was far away from being fine.

„I’m not the guilty one here!“ Joe mocked.

„Who is responsible?“

„You. “

How could Joe dare to express, what everyone thought? Especially, since everyone knew how sensitive Mike acted on this topic.

„My debt… “, whispered Chester softly, “it’s mine.”

Breathing feel difficult, more with difficulty than ever before in his life.

„It’s nobody’s fault, Sweety.“ Mike calmed him and wrapped the singer into a protective embrace. Chester dug his face into Mike new Armani suit, which had been bought especially for the large event.

„Calm down Chaz. Joe’s moody today. “Rob said.

Chester smiled at him shyly. In the background of the limousine, Brad silenced Joe. His hand covered the mouth of the angry DJ.

***

„I can’t love you! “

Disbelievingly Mike looked down at his friend, completely sweaty and trembling from a violent crying fit. Sitting on the concrete floor in front of his home. This, Mike hadn’t expected when he had opened the door at a wonderful summer noon. His life could have been so nice and easy... Fearfully he kneeled down and pulled Chester into a firm embrace. Whispering words of love, voice like a lullaby.

„You told her? “

„She saw us! “Chester choked out and tried weakly to pull away.

„Where, when? “

„She’ll leave me! I can’t do this… What shall I do? … She’ll take everything! Even my kids! What shall I do? I can’t live like this…Can I die, Mike? Please let me die.“

Mike had listened to Chester’s words of sorrow, tears in his eyes and a dying heart in his chest. Where was his joyful Chester - his love - and who was this broken person in his arms?

„Shh… don’t say that, Chaz. You’re not allowed to even think about that!“

„I can’t live without my children! “

As much as it hurt Mike, he understood Chester’s reaction.

„Go back to her,” he suggested.

„It is too late, she never wants to see me again.“

„Calm down, baby. It’s going to be okay. Take some time and then explain her how stupid it was to choose me.”

„Stupid?“

“Yes.”

„It’s stupid to love you? “Chester asked, suddenly more calmly.

„If it destroys your life, it’s more than just simply stupid.“

„You’re everything I have now, Mike. I need you! “

„I… I don’t know.... “

„You can’t leave me, too! “, Chester cried frightened and buried his fingernails in Mike’s upper arms. From then on everything changed.

***

“How long to wait? “ Chester asked excited.

„Not to long, I think.“ Mike said, smiling.

The next category was announced. Nervously Mike shifted in his seat. His warm hand looked for Chester’s, while their eyes did not yield from the stage. A well-known actress in a blue, long evening gown went elegantly to the microphone and smiled into the crowd of well-known musicians in front of her.

„And the Grammy for Best Rock Album goes to… “

She slowly folded the sheet, with the winner’s name, apart. Chester kept the air imprisoned in his lungs. He just let it escape - in a shaky breath - when Mike squeezed his fingers.

„Staind. “

The strained faces fell into a grimace of disappointment.

Mike dropped his head, feeling dizzy. It had been a rough year and he had put all his blood and sweat into the new songs. They all had. But the rest of the band hadn’t dealt with Chester at the same time. He loved Chester with each fiber of his being, always had and always would. But he had to live with the knowledge, that he destroyed singer’s life.

Chester’s hectic, almost panicked voice tore Mike back into real life.

“We lost.”

„It’s okay Chaz. It’s just a stupid award.“

Mike put an arm protectively around Chester’s shoulder. All their hope had been put into the new album. Chester’s divorce from Talinda and the homosexuality of the front singers overshadowed the release. And if Chester wouldn’t calm down soon, they would be able to read all about his depending personality soon.

„Come on Sweety, [let’s] get some fresh air. “

„But the people… “

„… can think what they want, “ whispered Mike.

***

„Hey beautiful.“

„Hey dude.” Chester giggled, coming back from brushing his teeth and lay down beside Mike. Mike smiled happily at the unusually normal greeting. He put an arm around Chester’s waist, in order to pull him closer. They shared a moment of being comfortably close to each other and searching for a glimpse of peace. Chester closed his eyes relaxedly.

„Are you happy Chester?” Mike asked tenderly, reaching out slowly, carefully, to stroke Chester’s marble chin. He traced his fingers along the thin red lip, savoring the feeling.

„Should I be happy? “

„Sure. I would love to see you happy and save in my arms forever. “

Mike gently kissed his cheek.

„I can try to be happy for you Mike. I’m really trying, but it’s a hard fight. Will you leave me, if I can’t be happy? “

„Why I should? “, Mike asked, although he knew Chester’s answer very well. Nothing would change. Chester would never be the same. Never, ever. The Emcee placed his cheek against Chester’s forehead and listened under tears, when Chester tell him the reasons why he could never be happy again.

„I’m crazy, I am fucking stupid and not worth being here, with you. I will…”

The End

Bucktooth — Description
Titelutterflies and Hurricanes

Autor: Noda or Sweet Poem

Rating: PG-12

Genre: Drama

Typ: Standalone

Summary: Chester knew this was the moment he had to choose. Between Talinda and Michael. Both as different as possible, but in his heart the same. Chester was not ready to decide. He could only lose.

Disclaimer: Linkin Park is not mine. Never have and never will.

Story is betad by my friend Yuki, thanks sweety!

***

"My stomach hurts."

The loud noise of chairs scraped over wood package, overlay the softly spoken words. However, the hidden request didn’t escape. Mike caressed Chester’s knee under the table. Through the denim material the older could hardly feel it, but Chester lived only for such small tendernesses. That was everything he got, his only sunlight in the future, however, only a weak image of his past.

"Stop eating," Mike replied with a smile, only for Chester.

"May I?"

"Sweety, you should really stop when your stomach hurts, okay?" Mike coated Chester’s leg lovingly, aware of the angry gaze Joe gave them.

Red lips formed another smile, which Chester liked even better than the previous one.

White flashes between red. Brilliant as the tablecloth. Chester still continued chewing a large piece of steak.

"What will happen to my food?"

"The hotel staff will put it in the trash."

"That's about the children in Africa?" Chester asked confused. He was worried. Yesterday he saw a child sitting in the dirt on TV. With bloated belly and a bony face dominated by huge, dark eyes. Something in the picture bothered him beyond the obvious. It made Chester crazy.

If he would ask Brad, Mike, Rob or Joe about this feeling, they would know. They hadn’t forgot. A year ago, the band had locked themselves up in the studio for the fourth time to work on the new album. Shortly afterwards Chester’s life changed for bad. He mutated from a family man with a nice and understanding wife and four sons, into a helpless and dependent small child.

"Chester, place the knife down!"

Immediately the knife was dropped with loud clatter onto the half full plate. Mike had brought him all the good stuff. The Emcee had no clue what Chester wanted, because the singer lately couldn’t even speak for his own taste. Peas rolled on the tablecloth and ended unnoticed on the ground. The remaining food landed in the trash, like Mike had said. The children in Africa would continue starving.

***

"You chose wrong!"

"I ..."

"Damn, I'm your wife!"

Chester remained silent.

"It‘s your decision. You choose him, it’s your own fault!"

"Tali?"

"What about Tyler?"

"I love him and will forever"

"Whom? This coward? "

"Tyler. I love Tyler. He’s my son!" Chester whispered with reddened eyes.

"You'll never see him again and I will ensure that Jaime and Isaiah don’t stay with you! I was dumb to marry you! Even dumber to not listen to my parents in the first place."

"You can’t…," Chester yelled, his voice cracked and then went quiet. Drown by cries of agony.

***

„Is this the right? “ Chester pointed at a black sock, „or this? “, he asked and placed an identical, black sock beside it.

Although both were alike, Chester nevertheless didn’t want to do anything wrong on this important day. How would it look like, if he stood on the red carpet with his socks on the wrong feet? The people would laugh! ‘Even too stupid to dress!’ they would yell and be right.

„It doesn’t matter.” Mike finally said, having found the toothbrush he was looking for in his traveling bag.

„You sure, what if… “

„This one is the right, this the left.“

Even if the Emcee was excited and frightened because this was a important day, there had to be room for Chester’s daily thousand-question-game.

Chester put the socks on his feet. Admiring Mikes sense of judgement.

***

"I love you."

The words hung there for a moment in the hot breeze. Chester sat up frightened. The lawn under him almost dead, killed by the heat of the summer. Mike was half sitting , propped up on his arms. Smiling.

Chester knew this was the moment he had to choose. Between Talinda and Michael. Both as different as possible, but in his heart the same. Chester was not ready to decide. He could only lose. That was like to choose between food and water. Without the other, one would die. But Mike's gentle smile ousted the bad. How could he say "No", when something beautiful called for him.

"I love you, too."

***

„He’s crazy, Mike! “

„’He’ is perfectly fine and can hear even better, you asshole!“

Everyone knew Chester was far away from being fine.

„I’m not the guilty one here!“ Joe mocked.

„Who is responsible?“

„You. “

How could Joe dare to express, what everyone thought? Especially, since everyone knew how sensitive Mike acted on this topic.

„My debt… “, whispered Chester softly, “it’s mine.”

Breathing feel difficult, more with difficulty than ever before in his life.

„It’s nobody’s fault, Sweety.“ Mike calmed him and wrapped the singer into a protective embrace. Chester dug his face into Mike new Armani suit, which had been bought especially for the large event.

„Calm down Chaz. Joe’s moody today. “Rob said.

Chester smiled at him shyly. In the background of the limousine, Brad silenced Joe. His hand covered the mouth of the angry DJ.

***

„I can’t love you! “

Disbelievingly Mike looked down at his friend, completely sweaty and trembling from a violent crying fit. Sitting on the concrete floor in front of his home. This, Mike hadn’t expected when he had opened the door at a wonderful summer noon. His life could have been so nice and easy... Fearfully he kneeled down and pulled Chester into a firm embrace. Whispering words of love, voice like a lullaby.

„You told her? “

„She saw us! “Chester choked out and tried weakly to pull away.

„Where, when? “

„She’ll leave me! I can’t do this… What shall I do? … She’ll take everything! Even my kids! What shall I do? I can’t live like this…Can I die, Mike? Please let me die.“

Mike had listened to Chester’s words of sorrow, tears in his eyes and a dying heart in his chest. Where was his joyful Chester - his love - and who was this broken person in his arms?

„Shh… don’t say that, Chaz. You’re not allowed to even think about that!“

„I can’t live without my children! “

As much as it hurt Mike, he understood Chester’s reaction.

„Go back to her,” he suggested.

„It is too late, she never wants to see me again.“

„Calm down, baby. It’s going to be okay. Take some time and then explain her how stupid it was to choose me.”

„Stupid?“

“Yes.”

„It’s stupid to love you? “Chester asked, suddenly more calmly.

„If it destroys your life, it’s more than just simply stupid.“

„You’re everything I have now, Mike. I need you! “

„I… I don’t know.... “

„You can’t leave me, too! “, Chester cried frightened and buried his fingernails in Mike’s upper arms. From then on everything changed.

***

“How long to wait? “ Chester asked excited.

„Not to long, I think.“ Mike said, smiling.

The next category was announced. Nervously Mike shifted in his seat. His warm hand looked for Chester’s, while their eyes did not yield from the stage. A well-known actress in a blue, long evening gown went elegantly to the microphone and smiled into the crowd of well-known musicians in front of her.

„And the Grammy for Best Rock Album goes to… “

She slowly folded the sheet, with the winner’s name, apart. Chester kept the air imprisoned in his lungs. He just let it escape - in a shaky breath - when Mike squeezed his fingers.

„Staind. “

The strained faces fell into a grimace of disappointment.

Mike dropped his head, feeling dizzy. It had been a rough year and he had put all his blood and sweat into the new songs. They all had. But the rest of the band hadn’t dealt with Chester at the same time. He loved Chester with each fiber of his being, always had and always would. But he had to live with the knowledge, that he destroyed singer’s life.

Chester’s hectic, almost panicked voice tore Mike back into real life.

“We lost.”

„It’s okay Chaz. It’s just a stupid award.“

Mike put an arm protectively around Chester’s shoulder. All their hope had been put into the new album. Chester’s divorce from Talinda and the homosexuality of the front singers overshadowed the release. And if Chester wouldn’t calm down soon, they would be able to read all about his depending personality soon.

„Come on Sweety, [let’s] get some fresh air. “

„But the people… “

„… can think what they want, “ whispered Mike.

***

„Hey beautiful.“

„Hey dude.” Chester giggled, coming back from brushing his teeth and lay down beside Mike. Mike smiled happily at the unusually normal greeting. He put an arm around Chester’s waist, in order to pull him closer. They shared a moment of being comfortably close to each other and searching for a glimpse of peace. Chester closed his eyes relaxedly.

„Are you happy Chester?” Mike asked tenderly, reaching out slowly, carefully, to stroke Chester’s marble chin. He traced his fingers along the thin red lip, savoring the feeling.

„Should I be happy? “

„Sure. I would love to see you happy and save in my arms forever. “

Mike gently kissed his cheek.

„I can try to be happy for you Mike. I’m really trying, but it’s a hard fight. Will you leave me, if I can’t be happy? “

„Why I should? “, Mike asked, although he knew Chester’s answer very well. Nothing would change. Chester would never be the same. Never, ever. The Emcee placed his cheek against Chester’s forehead and listened under tears, when Chester tell him the reasons why he could never be happy again.

„I’m crazy, I am fucking stupid and not worth being here, with you. I will…”

The End