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TakaoKai
— We're All A Lie
Published:
2013-02-28 08:03:08 +0000 UTC
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Description
Warning(s):
Yaoi ( boyXboy ) for those yaoi haters. Character insanity. I guess that's it.
Pairing(s):
KaiTaka ( Takao X Kai ).
Note(s):
I'm new to writing Beyblade, so if anyone's OoC, then tell me. I'll try and be IC next time, alright? All I know is their english personalities, so if their japanese personalities are different, then tell me. All I know is Kai's personality. That's it. That's all.
I'm sorry if I got any spelling wrong. The only spelling corrections I have are google. So, it I made any mistakes, tell me.
Criticism is welcome.
I do not own Beyblade.
Enjoy! xD x3
X-X-X-X
Takao's PoV
"Ya know you guys are the bestest friends I've ever had! I can't believe how far we've gotten!"
Lies! They're all lies!
"We're friends, so I should help you!"
I never got help. Never. I helped you, but you did nothing in return.
"We're a team! We get along because we're... Friends!"
How come it feels like they're against me, then...?
"Guys... We're friends... Right?"
No... No they're not.
Why?
Why do they lie to me?
Why do they stay with me if all they want is to get to know me?
Why...?
Why am I like this?
Is this the end of our so-called 'friendship'?
...
Why is it so easy to think like this? Could it be true?
Could anything be true?
Nothing.
Nothing could be true in the world.
Why?
...
We're all a lie.
X-X-X-X
I woke up one morning, groaning. I haven't even woken up this early at all. Not before a certain someone either. Since I couldn't go back to sleep, I decided to take a shower. I got up and left to room, and walked into the shower. Thoughts of what I dreamed of came to mind. I can't remember fully what the dream is about, but I do remember the words. Well, the last part, anyways. 'We're all a lie.' What the hell does that even mean? I mean, sure, there is a lot of things that could be a lie, but 'we're'? So, is it talking about a romantic relationship, or platonic? Either way, I get the feeling it isn't important right now. Maybe later I'll remember what it's about, and maybe ask my friends about it.
'Friends...? What friends...?'
I softly smiled, "Well... My friends, of course..."
...
Well, that came out of no where. I wasn't talking to anyone in particular, but that voice in my head. A negative voice. That voice started to come weeks after Max went back to American to visit his mom, and Rei went back to China. Kai just plain disappeared out of no where. Maybe he went back to Russia, but who knows? Only people here are Daichi, Hitoshi, Hiromi, Kyoujuu, and of course my grandpa. I should be happy. I mean, at least they have their own paths to follow, and I should respect that. However, the negative voice in my head says other wise. It's like... Like telling me something.
Silence.
Once I finished my shower, I get out and got dressed. I obviously want breakfast, so I walked into a kitchen, "Say, what's for breakfast?"
...
That's right. Rei isn't here anymore to cook for us, and my grandpa isn't even up yet. Damn. Why the hell would I think breakfast could be done by now? I want food!
"Where's a cook when you need one?" I groaned, and walked off, "Oh well. Maybe I'd have to wait a bit then. I'll go for a walk then, fresh air does help calm the mind, Rei said."
'Rei...? Why should you listen to him?'
...
I sadly smiled, "Rei's my friend."
'Friend? Ha. You're sadly mistaken.'
I sighed. There goes that negative voice again. Although, I can't help but feel relaxed hearing that voice. Almost as if it's almost... Right.
Silence.
I scoffed, "That's ridiculous. I'm going on that walk, and that's final."
I left. I made sure I brought Seiryuu, just in case.
X-X-X-X
I decided to walk to the river to see the sunrise. It was dark outside when I left, but now light is just starting to come in. I must admit though, it's actually pretty nice. Being here normally brought my heart to rest. Here, I could rest easy, and it just plain brought my heart to content. This place means so much to me. The grassy hill, the smooth river that reflected the sun's light. The sunrise, or sunsets, does give it a finishing touch. What's special about this place is the memories. Memories I had with my friends here. Memories of my friends.
'Yeah. "Memories". They're not your friends. They never were.'
I gave another sad smile, "They're special memories though. I'm sure my friends would agree."
'Yeah, because they pity you. They'd always agree with you because they had to. They were never your friends to begin with.'
That negative voice.
It sounds so familiar.
"Hmm..." I hummed.
Silence.
"Takao! There you are!" Yelled a panicked voice from afar.
I turned to see Kyoujuu there, carrying his laptop as usual. I grinned, "Hey there!"
"Takao, we looked all over for you! Where've you been!? Why the heck were you up so early!?" I asked, obviously still panicked.
I smiled, "No worries. I just woke up early out of coincidence. No biggie. So, is breakfast ready?"
"It's waiting for you at home." Grinned Kyoujuu, "Your grandpa was worried though."
I laughed, "Well, alright then. I'll head home then."
I went home with Kyoujuu following me.
X-X-X-X
Grandpa obviously scolded me, but I didn't bother. I ate breakfast as usual, and I finished. I walked out, however, I was stopped, "Takao?"
I looked over to spoke. I gave them a small smile, "Hai, nii-chan?"
"Aren't you gonna eat anymore?" He asked, looking like he's glaring at me, but I see his concern.
I shook my head, "No thanks, nii-chan. I'm heading back out, okay?"
I left, leaving everyone else concerned.
'Concerned. Ha, yeah right. They were never "concerned" about you at all.'
I closed the door behind me, and leaned against the door, running my hand through my hair, "... They're my family."
'Family? Grampa only raised you because he pitied you. Why do you think he attacks you everyday? As for that jerk, Hitoshi...'
"Don't!" I hissed at the negative voice.
Silence.
"... Don't start on him." I growled, "I know what he did wrong. However, I forgive him, so don't you dare start on him..."
I walked off, heading to a different place in mind now.
X-X-X-X
I walked to the beystadium, and I decided to let loose Seiryuu. I stood there, listening to the sounds that Seiryuu made. It echoed throughout the stadium, and it stayed like that for a while. These sounds relax me. It reminds me of what I love so much, and what pulled me into it in the first place anyway. Seiryuu. Seiryuu helped me through so much, and it feels like I could trust him. He was sealed into our family sword... It's like I was meant to hold Seiryuu... A power weapon against almost everyone. My friend's spirits are similar. Byakko, Genbu, Suzaku... Each of my friends held their spirits.
'Only connection they had with you. Nothing more. Nothing less.'
I sighed, "They're spirits of our beyblades. Our connection is stronger then that."
'Stronger? No, that is a lie. Everything is a lie. Everything.'
I fell to my knees as I listened to the sounds that echoed throughout the stadium.
Clang.
Clang.
"Seiryuu has been with me since I met him. He's the reason I met my friends in the first place." I said, shaking slight.
'Seiryuu is a part of something you had to do. You're his host. His human puppet. Nothing more.'
"Seiryuu... Isn't like that..."
'He is!'
I feel Seiryuu hitting my knees, as if trying to comfort me. However, these negative thoughts. This negative voice. I could almost feel that... That it's right. That it's been telling the truth this whole time. Almost as if... As if my heart is telling me what I really feel. However, I can't be selfish. I know that. I should be happy for them. Happy that they found their own path to follow. While I follow like a little lost puppy. Almost as if... This is the cold truth.
The ice-cold truth about how my heart really feels.
I choked on a sob, and rubbed my eyes as I felt tears coming down. No. No, I can't cry now. What if someone comes? What if one of my friends comes, and--
'They wouldn't care.
Silence.
"Ya know, these guys are the bestest friends I've ever had..."
'Lies! They're all lies!'
"We're friends, so they help me..."
'You never got help. Never. I helped you, but you did nothing in return.'
"We're a team. We get along because we're... Friends!"
'How come it feels like they're against me, then...?'
"Guys... We're friends... Right?"
'No... No they're not.'
"Why does it feel like they're against me, huh?" I asked, and I stood up, "They're my bestest friends in the whole world to me, and they rarely did anything for me in return! Sure, they show concern, and they show pity, but does that mean they care? They literally left me, and they literally didn't tell me where one was going! I shouldn't even care either!"
Silence. Seiryuu stopped spinning.
I fell to my knees, "So why does it feel like they abandon me? Why should I express how I feel when they left, huh? I shouldn't be selfish, and I shouldn't be sad. I should be happy for my friends. They each have their own paths to follow, and they each have their own team to go back to. Me? I follow someone else's path like a little lost puppy that has no home to go to. I have no home team, and I certainly can't stop blading... So, why...? Why aren't I happy for them? Why aren't I happy for myself?"
I finally let the tears go.
'You see it now.'
"Yes."
'Will you act?'
"... No."
'Why not?'
"... I should distance myself first before I completely fade. I don't want to cause pain to my friends. They may not see me as their friend, but I do... I don't care if I don't hurt them or not... I don't even care if I hurt myself. As long as it's a painfree get away."
'Heh. So like you. You really are stupid, are you?'
I wiped the tears, and I stood up. Looks like I need to get back before lunch. They should get worried.
X-X-X-X
Once there, Kyoujuu stopped me, looking really shocked, "Takao, you should come! Guess who's here!?"
'Why should I care?'
I nodded, "Alright, I'll come."
Kyoujuu pulled me to the living room of the dojo. What is it that was so important to show me? I paused when I saw a familiar face.
Kai.
I haven't seen Kai in a while, and he comes back now? Right after I promised myself I'd slowly distance myself from my 'friends'? He was sitting there on the couch, arms crossed, and eyes closed. I was literally pushed onto the couch by Kyoujuu, and I glared at him before I turned to Kai. Kyoujuu left, so I was alone in the living area with Kai.
Silence.
'Kai's a jerk. Why is HE your friend, anyways? What do you see in him, hmm?'
I looked down to my lap. Kai is special. He's not only my rival, but my best friend. We have a special connection with each other, and I completely understand him like he understands me. It's like he's a mind reader when it comes to situations like this though. He also points out something that's obvious, but even that's amazing because we don't see it ourselves.
"You're unusually silent." He simply said.
I froze. Like that. Only problem is, I'm too shocked now to reply.
"What's in your mind?" He asked, crimson eyes open, and staring at me.
I looked away, back to my lap. I didn't realize I looked at him anyways. I fiddled a bit, "Nothing special, Kai. I'm merely... Thinking. That's all."
"Thinking?" He scoffed, "That's new."
'He's rude! Ignore him!'
I frowned, "Like I said, it's nothing special, so you shouldn't just nose into personal business."
"I'm not. I'm merely curious." He replied.
Silence.
That's right. I didn't have to reply to his question. Damn it. He'll read me like an open book. That's a 'big' give away to how I'm feeling right then and there, and he won't leave me alone now that he figured this out. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!
"Kinomiya." He softly said, "Is there anything you wanna... Say?"
'Is he implying I'm holding something in!? Of course I am, but I don't want--'
"--Because... Talking to yourself is the first of insanity." Said Kai, interrupting the negative voice in my head.
I froze.
He stood up, "Meet me at the beystadium tonight."
...
I stood and watched the door he just left at. Even though Kai's already gone, I still watched.
'It's a trap! Don't go!'
I plopped down the the couch as I sat there, deep into shock.
I decided to ignore the negative voice in my head, and meet Kai there.
X-X-X-X
After supper, I decided to go for one more walk. I walked to the beystadium as instructed, and met Kai there. For a while now, we just stood across from each other, and watched. I remembered this morning where I let Seiryuu loose, and listened to what sounds he made only for me to have a mental break down. Slowly agreeing with the voice in my head, and then I don't remember what happened after that. I'm now back here... Kai in front of me.
"Everything is a lie." I started.
Kai eyed me.
I began to shake, "My friends. My family. My feelings. Everything was a lie all along. Every time I try to think positive, this negative voice... I hear always corrects me. My best friends... My closest family members... My fondest memories... They've always been a lie. What I see, and what I hear, it's becoming more of a truth then what I expected. You know, I should be happy for my 'friends', I should be happy to have 'family'. I shouldn't be selfish, I know, but seeing them leave caused my heart to hurt more then usual. I shouldn't even say these thoughts out loud, though... Though I shouldn't be rude. I'm not that kind of person. I sometimes wish I could... I could die!"
Silence.
I fell to my knees, "It's big. It's too big of a wish, b-but that's how I feel. I don't want to be alone, Kai. I don't want any of my friends to leave. Sure, I have Kyoujuu, and Hiromi, but... I don't see them as close friends like I did with You, Max, and Rei. We had a strong connection, and we had for powerful spirits to prove it. However, we just broke apart just like that. It feels like our friendship... Just disappeared. I-I don't even want to tell them how I feel..."
Kai gave off a... Warm look?
'No! No, that's a lie!'
I shut my eyes tight, "It's a lie! It's all a lie! If anyone was concerned about me, then why are they concerned, huh? I'm just... Just alone. All alone..."
"You're not alone, Kinomiya." Breathed Kai.
I looked at him, wondering what he means.
"Nothing... I mean, nothing what is negative is true." Kai said, giving off a small frown, "I'm here. I intended to stay here. Well, I'm here because this city is simply amazing, and it does have amazing people... Believe it or not, Kinomiya... You're one of them."
'No! Don't believe him!'
I gasped, "Kai..."
"Kinomiya..." Kai said, walking around the beydish, closer to me, "What is a lier is that so-called 'negative' voice in your head. If you truly believe in me, then... Well, I'd be hurt too."
'Everything is a lie! We're all a lie!'
"Kinomiya..." Kai breathed, keeling to my level, "... Everything you saw... It was the truth. Kinomiya... Please..."
I gasped.
It hit me.
X-X-X-X
Flashback(s)
"Takao! Let's have a picnic!"
"Great idea, Maxie! Who are we inviting?"
"The whole BBA-Revolution, of course!"
"Sweet! Does that mean Kai will be there?"
"Yup! So, will food!"
"Sweet! I'll call Kyoujuu and invite him!"
"I'll invite Rei!"
"Maxie... You're the greatest friend a guy could ask for! Thank you!"
"You too, Takao! I'm glad we met!"
X-X-X-X
"Rei?"
"Hmm?"
"What's that star consultation again?"
"That's Orion's belt, I believe."
"That?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Okay. Ya know, you're my best friend. I'm glad I met you."
"You too, Takao. We'll stay close forever."
X-X-X-X
"Kai?"
"Hn?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being my best friend. You're... Always special to me."
"Hn... Whatever."
...
"But you're welcome. You're... Special too."
"Really?"
"..."
"Ha, well, thanks, anyways."
X-X-X-X
End of Flashback(s)
I couldn't see it. I can't believe I've completely forgotten. Our connection. Our friendship. It was always there for us to see. Our friendship. It always was a treasure for me, and it was precious. I guess I was jealous that they had their own path, and I was upset that they left. I was being selfish, and I was being stupid. I can't believe I forgot my friendship, and how important it is to me. Max, Rei and Kai are important to me. I shouldn't leave them because they have a path to follow.
I leaned onto to Kai and sobbed, "I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Kai! I didn't mean... I-I didn't--"
"--You don't have to explain, Kinomiya." He said, and pulled me closer to gain a hug. I sobbed into his shoulder. I'm so stupid! So stupid!
...
I managed to hug back, and I nuzzled his shoulder, sighing in content once I was through. I didn't realize how close we were until I heard him whisper to my ear. I shivered.
"You are an idiot, ya know that?"
I tried to pull away, but he held on tight.
"You aren't escaping me. I like you on my lap like this."
Silence.
I sighed, and got comfortable with sitting on his lap. Oh well. I decided to let it slide and lean on him. He was comfy anyways.
...
I slowly fell asleep.
X-X-X-X
"Ya know you guys are the bestest friends I've ever had! I can't believe how far we've gotten!"
Lies! They're all lies!
"We're friends, so I should help you!"
I never got help. Never. I helped you, but you did nothing in return.
"We're a team! We get along because we're... Friends!"
How come it feels like they're against me, then...?
"Guys... We're friends... Right?"
...
"Of course we are! Nothing is a lie. Everything I saw, and everything I heard... It was the truth. Nothing I saw was a lie, and I'd rather keep it that way."
...
"Kai... Thank you."
X-X-X-X
End.
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