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takemetoverona β€” The Alchemist
Published: 2014-06-19 17:46:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 586; Favourites: 40; Downloads: 0
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Description You place your faith
In the maps and charts
Of fools.
You seek what God could never give
To those mighty Conquistadors,
Resplendent buffoons in pantaloons
Searching for a lie.

The fire dances tonight
In your inkwells and your elements.
It overlooks
The shirts, phantom-pressed,
And countless cups of tea
Undrunk, now cold.

The gold
You really desire lies beyond
The Aztecs and the Incas. It lurks
In you. Drag it out, screaming,
Into the pitch midnight
And then, maybe, you will see:

The treasure was always here.
You just needed to claim it.
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Comments: 20

Irina1801 [2014-09-04 22:07:31 +0000 UTC]

God I love this.Β 

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takemetoverona In reply to Irina1801 [2014-09-05 21:01:51 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thank you very much!

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ArwynRie [2014-07-08 18:10:21 +0000 UTC]

Love the last uplifting lines (and the buffoons in pantaloonsΒ )! Β Congrats!

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takemetoverona In reply to ArwynRie [2014-07-09 18:30:16 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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LadyOfFrost [2014-07-08 17:42:38 +0000 UTC]

Great jobΒ Β  Congratulations on the DLR!

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takemetoverona In reply to LadyOfFrost [2014-07-09 18:35:13 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, it was a complete surprise!Β Β 

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DailyLitRecognition [2014-07-08 02:11:10 +0000 UTC]

Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLR (Daily Literature Recognitions) and has been selected as our β€œPick of the Day”. It is featured in a news article here and on our main page.


Keep writing and keep creating.

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takemetoverona In reply to DailyLitRecognition [2014-07-08 16:57:05 +0000 UTC]

Oh my goodness, thank you very much!!

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DailyLitRecognition In reply to takemetoverona [2014-07-09 02:14:00 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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NemoX7 [2014-06-28 16:40:31 +0000 UTC]

Well done on composing such an expressive poem. I especially like the references to Aztecs and Conquistadors. It makes me want to go read up about them now. The same goes for your mention of John Webster's "The Duchess of Malfi" which I heard years ago in passing. Again bravo!

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takemetoverona In reply to NemoX7 [2014-07-07 22:02:27 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much! I'd definitely recommend finding out more about The Duchess, especially the production that I saw- it was really good!

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nightshade-keyblade [2014-06-22 00:47:52 +0000 UTC]

Β The last line reminded me so much of the book by Paulo Coelho.

Also, I smiled at this line :Resplendent buffoons in pantaloons

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takemetoverona In reply to nightshade-keyblade [2014-06-22 22:27:59 +0000 UTC]

Oh!Β The similarity was completely coincidental- I hadn't heard of the book, but now that I've read about it I can see how it reminds you of that!

Thank you- Yeah, that bit was fun to write- I just liked how it rhymed

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nightshade-keyblade In reply to takemetoverona [2014-06-23 00:29:40 +0000 UTC]

Even better!

You're welcome, this is amazing!

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Mez3rika [2014-06-21 17:22:18 +0000 UTC]

This piece has magical beauty, beholding a nice melody along the lines. Great job.

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takemetoverona In reply to Mez3rika [2014-06-21 17:33:53 +0000 UTC]

Ah, thank you very much!

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Mez3rika In reply to takemetoverona [2014-06-21 17:49:22 +0000 UTC]

You're most welcome dear.

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oOGrandDukeOo [2014-06-19 20:55:14 +0000 UTC]

I really like how you added emphasis on certain parts by making the line that that element is on short. I also like how you created a sense of a colonial era time period with your word choice. Well done!

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takemetoverona In reply to oOGrandDukeOo [2014-06-21 11:21:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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oOGrandDukeOo In reply to takemetoverona [2014-06-21 13:03:35 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^^

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