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Tamnyan — Love Story Pg 1 WIP
Published: 2012-08-10 08:44:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 1297; Favourites: 36; Downloads: 7
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Description
Okay, I was originally going to call this; "Cockblock" but according to a friend that's a highly inappropriate title .w.Well apparently, I need to work on my comic layout...so as a small side project (as in I have no idea when this page will be finished) I'm going to make a small Chassa comic full of le fluff~~~
Thought I'd let you see how awful my rough sketches are ^____^ No need to thank me, the looks of sheer disgust on your faces is thanks enough~
This is the sleep deprivation talking now...time to go get 2-3 hours sleep before I'm dragged out of bed~~~
Art, Issa, Chaka and Basiri (c)
TLK, Kopa and Vitani (c)
And wow, for once the download button can be clicked
remember, I'm not held responsible for any loss, damage or severe scarring of your eyesight~Should've gone to specsavers...
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Comments: 3
Just looking at this, from reading you description...I have a couple suggestions I hope you don't mind my saying.
Your sketches are really good, but the layout does need work. The panels are so far apart, they really jump well from one to the next. Another thing, the actions aren't too clear from panel to panel without having to read the text. Ideally, you want a comic book to read like a storyboard or animatic: a series of "extremes" that carry the action from panel to panel.
If you need some free comic book material to study, check out ComicBookPlus [link] it's full of 1000s of public domain comics from the 40s and 50s that you can read right on the website or download for use with a CBZ reader. A lot of stuff from comic book greats like Al Fago and Walt Kelly are on there. Many others too.
Anyways, I hope you find my commentary useful and not intrusive or obnoxious. You just look you could earnestly use some direction.
Good luck!
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I don't mind you saying at all 
I've edited the size of some of the panels and added a few to make it flow more, I also realised I was doing my usual derp and drawing it right to left x__X The curse of being left handed and reading to much manga...
I had a flick through the site, and I will say it gave me a good idea of comic layout, so many thanks for that link
Thanks for the honest tips and pointers! =3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
blegh. "don't really jump well from one panel to the next."
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