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tasha3121 — A Million Pieces
Published: 2004-10-31 02:12:41 +0000 UTC; Views: 97; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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It hurts to breathe,It hurts to think,
I'm broken in a million pieces.
The tears seem run like a stream,
The tears wont stop,
I'm broken in a million pieces.
I can't seem to speak,
I can't seem to smile,
I'm broken in a million pieces.
My heart feels pain,
My soul feels dead,
I'm broken in a million pieces.
The hope I held onto, destroyed,
The reality I feard, surfaced,
I'm broken in a million pieces.
I'll try to breathe so I won't weep,
I'll try to live so I won't die,
I'm broken in a million pieces.
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Comments: 7
And nothing ever feels so better when you do. You realise by removing that dead wood from your life, is one of the best things you have done for the sake of happiness. But it isnt an easy journy.
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Sometimes, pieces get left behind too small to pick up by hand, mocking you in your dreams, mocking you from their palce on the ground.
What cruel irony that I should be saddest before I'm happy again. And yet, I still feel sad compared to how happy I could have been if I had simply never broken.
I've broken something not to long ago that I should have cherished and embraced. But it was inevitable, something that I could not have avoided. I'm still not happy yet, almost happy, but not yet. She is amazing, and she didn't love me, I feel stupid, but almost happy.
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"I'm still not happy yet, almost happy, but not yet."
I am at the stage where I'm just finding myself, and at the same time spiraling into nothingness. I standstill as the world passes my me as fast as light. I love the feeling of losing control, I love finding small comforts as the bottle. I love knowing that a part of my self repsect dies as I sip away. It's all a discovery now...and I'm weired lol.
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I want to lose control. If only I didn't have to get drunk to be that way. I refuse to get drunk.
oh well.
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This poem reflects so much how I feel right now, it's not even funny.
I think you could strengthen this poem so much if you eliminated the word seem. Doing so would make it more solid, more condensed. "I cannot speak. I cannot smile."
"The tears seem (to) run like a stream" is kind of weird in there. You might want to think about rewriting that line.
~Alyssa
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Thank you 
Tasha.
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