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Tauriiga — Pin Drop

Published: 2019-08-24 22:47:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 1453; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 0
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Description WELP, sorrynotsorry ya'll. Here goes the pin drop. 

Previous: Can't Deal

(Hugo, of course, belongs to Kurrumin )

Kurru
"Is that better?"

"No. Straight back; you're arching. Sit up straight, shoulders square, eyes forward.. Imagine there's a piece of string connecting your navel to his pole. When you're rising to the trot, the string pulls tight. Don't bow into it, use your seat. Stop looking at his ears, they're not going anywhere. When you're driving a car, are you watching the steering wheel?"

"It's just a lot to remember."

"It just takes practice. You're doing well. Yes, better. Good. Do you feel that? You're going somewhere."

"He's going a bit fast."

"He's moving with purpose. Was moving with purpose. Again. Stop looking at his ears."

Hugo sighed, removing his hat a moment and running a hand through his thick hair. He stood in the middle of the arena, watching a middle aged woman astride an aged, grey gelding pace the perimeter at a steady jog.

Not that there was anything wrong with that, he reminded himself. It was only that he found these confidence building exercises a little tedious. Repetitive.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and Hugo immediately reached for it, welcoming the brief distraction. His eyes fell to the screen, and immediately his brow furrowed.

“Hey, made it home. Can you come over to DREC? We need to talk. Please don’t call, it needs to be in person.”

...What the fuck?

"Is this any better?"

"Yeah, keep going. Think forward. You're looking at his ears again."

"No I'm not!"

"Just making sure."

Ignoring Tabbitha's request that he not call, Hugo immediately hit the dial button. It rang out, and his frown deepened.

"Tabby, what the hell," he mumbled absently, trying again. Still, no answer. "Fucking women."

"What was that?"

"Ahh - Nothing. Weight in your feet, not your seat. Touch your big toe to the top of your boot… That's it. Heals down. Good."

He shot Tabby a text back.

'I'm halfway through a lesson. Is everything ok?'

Taur
The phone buzzed in Tabby’s hand and she ignored the flashing name across her screen, sinking down to the floor as she choked back more tears. There was no way she could speak to him over the phone. She watched as he called again, and she let it go to voicemail, before a text popped up. 

She bit her lip, opening the text to reply. “I’m okay.” That was a lie. “We just have to talk. It’s important. Take your time, not an emergency.”

Hitting the send button, she lowered her phone into her lap and ran her fingers through her hair. Lifting herself up off the floor, she stared around the tack room for a moment. What could she do but wait?

But waiting was torture, knowing what was coming. She attempted to run through what she’d say, but nothing sounded right. Nothing made what she had done any better and as the minutes ticked by, the feeling in her gut grew more sour. Hugo had never been the easiest to deal with when he was in a bad mood and his ego had gotten in his own way more times than she could count. It was difficult to imagine him taking this news with any level of grace and for the first time in a long time, Tabby felt the gut wrenching fear of loss. Breathe… maybe you can get through this. Don’t let yourself go to the worst place.

Feeling cooped up, Tabby decided to leave the tack room and head for the only comfort she knew. January. Footing it down to the broodmare barn, she walked the short isle to the grey’s expansive stall and leaned in on the door. “Hey darlin,” she crooned. “How’s my girl?” Reaching in, she gave the Obertauer a pat on the shoulder. “Gonna need you now more than ever. I messed up pretty bad.”

Kurru
Hugo glared down at his phone, his initial confusion and concern now spiked with irritation as he muttered the message aloud… And something else. He reread it, and again, his nostrils flaring, something awful twisting in his gut.

He messaged her back.

'Just come home?'

"I think we'll wrap it up there, yeah?"

"It's only been forty minutes,' the woman protested.

Hugo fought the urge to scowl.

"You've both done really well. It's best not to overdo it, and leave things on a good note. We can always make the time up next time."

The woman didn't look convinced.

Hugo didn't give a fuck.

He maintained his professionalism nonetheless, seeing her out of the arena and walking her to the wash bay, answering her questions competently and touching briefly on the aspects of riding they would work on next time.

Finally, she seemed satisfied, and Hugo bid her goodbye as she gathered the old grey gelding's lead to take him back to his paddock.

Hugo made straight for his ute.

He made short work of the trip from Yawarda to DREC, his foot heavy on the accelerator and break, even despite the roadworks taking place in an effort to patch a series of rim-buckling potholes before the next downpour. The diesel engine of the Ranger roared, the turbo whirring as it spooled, shooting off the lights like a bullet from a gun.

His phone sat propped up in his centre console. The screen remained black.

He made his way up the drive with rather more haste that would be deemed appropriate, spooking some of the youngstock grazing near the boundary fence. The Ranger lurched as he pulled unceremoniously into the parking lot, hand brake groaning, and slammed the door with rather more force than necessary, as if to announce his arrival.

There was no one there to meet him.

"Tabby?" he called, concern lacing his otherwise warranting tone. His frown deepened as he started towards the stables. "What the fuck is she up to?"

Taur
The wait seemed like forever as Tabby stood and talked to the grey mare, getting out all the emotions ahead of time. When's Hugo's familiar pick up finally pulled into the drive and up to the main barn, she shot him a quick text. "Broodmare barn."

There was a calmness that washed over her. What was about to happen was inevitable and her mind knew it, though her stomach was still in knots and goosebumps broke out on her arms despite the heat. She had to face him, had to tell him the most painful truth she could probably ever give him and she could do was hope and pray that some part of him could forgive her.

Kurru
'Broodmare barn'

Hugo shook his head, and stuffed the phone back in his pocket. His blue eyes skittered between the stable blocks as he sought to identify which was which, the apprehension tightening the muscles of his face etching out the spidersilk-fine lines of crow's feet beginning to form.

An uneasy weight had settled in his gut. Something told him this was not another of her risque games of cat and mouse.

He found her where she'd told him she would be, leaning up against one of the stall doors, quietly running her hands over January's neck. It was a peaceful scene. Serene, yet, somehow, strangely dismal.

"Hey," he greeted her cautiously, stepping closer. When she didn't turn into him, he reached for her arm. "Tabby, what's wrong?"

Taur
It was impossible to look his way as he approached. She knew she couldn't look into those deep blue, concerned eyes and not break into tears again. Her jaw set tightly again, her muscles aching from the constant strain. 

When his hand reached out for her arm, she looked down, wanting nothing more than let him pull her into his arms and hold her, comfort her, but that all felt so wrong now.

Her eyes blinked back the sting of fresh tears and her nostrils flared as she tried to steady her breathing until she finally garnered the strength to look up at him. The worry on his face was like a knife to her heart. She didn't deserve his concern. "I need to tell you something," her voice rasped, shaky and uncertain. "And I want you to know that it's not good." With her gaze turning back to January, she tried to find the easiest way to tell him. 

"I uhm... There's really nothing I can say to make this okay, so I'm just going to get it out. I slept with someone else." It was sickening to say and the self loathing she had been feeling only spiked as the admission slipped off her tongue. She felt disgusting. "I didn't intend to, or go looking to..." she trailed off, knowing that didn't make it any better. "I got drunk, and I was stupid. It was a mistake and I can't take it back, though I wish I could."

Kurru
Tabby didn't look at him for a long moment, didn't move into his arms despite the unspoken invitation in the gentle pressure of his hand. When she looked up there were tears in her eyes, and Hugo's grip tightened. Still, she didn't move.

"I need to tell you something. And I want you to know that it's not good."

It was as if a bomb had detonated inside his mind, the nightmarish chaos of the worst-case scenarios he could possibly fathom exploding forth with overwhelming vividness. At the forefront was December's brethren, and he felt his squirming guts turn to solid led as the memory of her lifeless form lain in hospital for weeks on end sprang forth.

She couldn't have.

She was here.

Her eyes were the same.

Then what - ?

"I slept with someone else."

Time ground to an abrupt halt. Hugo felt his heart splutter, falter, and drop, along with the floor from beneath his feet, and the walls of the stable block faded away until it was just him, and her, and nothing else. Her lips continued to move, but he heard no sound, save for the distant, high-pitched squeal of a kettle boiling, growing steadily louder, and a strange, hollow voice he didn't recognise asking the only question he could manage to process.

"What?"


Taur
Her hands were shaking. 

"What?"

She dragged her gaze back to him, a sharp furrow between her brows, her dark caramel eyes glazed over and bloodshot. "I fucked up..."

That was the understatement of the century. Hell, she'd been so drunk she couldn't even remember him finishing, let alone when he'd left. Clearly it had been as memorable for him as it was for her, he hadn't even stuck around afterwards.

"I already told Cal. I'm pretty sure I can stay here, y'know... til we figure things out. I'm guessing the couch isn't going to cut it. I know it's going to take time... and I know there's nothing I can really say or do to make it better. All I can say is that it was a mistake, and it meant nothing." She shook her head, hoping, pleading that some part of him could understand that. Beyond his hurt, and his pain, and his anger, she hoped he knew that she hadn't gone looking for it, that it had been the sloppy result of poor decision making and emotional weakness. "I know it probably doesn't mean anything right now, but I'm sorry.  I have never regretted anything more in my life."

Kurru
Reality crashed back into place with enough force to knock the wind out of him. His grip on her arm had tightened to a white-knuckled vice, and he let her go, jumping back from her as though he'd been given an electric shock.

She'd slept with… someone else.

She'd fucked another man.

He felt something inside him break. Something iron hard and resolute begin to flake and crumble, sending cold shards of razor debris slicing through his heart as it collapsed into rubble.

He wasn't sure what it was.

A lot of things.

Everything.

"It meant nothing."

Hugo stepped away from her, eyes closing briefly in an effort to centre himself. He ran his fingers through his hair, dragged his hands down his face, his feet pacing a slow arc across the stable isle. The whistling in his head grew louder still, making it hard to think, to process…

I slept with someone else.

It meant nothing.

I have never regretted anything more in my life.

He stopped, and turned to face her again, the shock and confusion in his glassy blue eyes melting away as storm clouds began to roll in; dark and violent and furious. His hands balled into fists, his short nails biting into the rough skin of his palms with enough force to break skin.

He'd never hit a woman.

He'd never wanted to.

He wouldn't start with Tabby.

But he wanted to hit something. Break it. Someone. Make them hurt as much as he did now. Him.

He wanted to break him, whoever the fuck he was.

"I must have meant the world to you, then," he spat, his breath hissing between his teeth, "for you to throw it all away for something that meant nothing"

Taur

"No," she quickly retorted, spinning to face him with a pleading in her eyes. "Hugo, you mean the absolute fucking world to me. I know you're angry and I know I can't fix this, but it wasn't intentional. I didn't...." she choked. Didn't want it? Was she really saying after the fact that it was non consensual? No, she'd consented, she'd wanted it. Not him, just the physical comfort of another person, the pleasure, the release. Anything to bring her back to reality after detailing her past with December. Anything to remind her that she was alive and wasn't going to be following the Dusana into the next world any time soon. 

"I made a mistake. I got drunk. I..." I said no. And then I said yes anyway. Like that made it any better. Like anything she could say would make it any better. "Hugo, it's not a reflection of how I feel about you. Please, please, you can be as angry at me as you want, I deserve it, but please don't think I did it because I don't love you." At that her voice finally cracked, tears starting to roll down her cheeks again. No, stop it. She closed her eyes, biting her lip to try to stop the stinging, salty tears that blurred her vision. She didn't get to cry. It was her fault. Her mistake. She'd hurt him enough, the last thing she needed to do was cry. 

Opening her mouth to speak again, her throat almost ached from the tension. No words came out, perhaps for the best. All she could do was stare in his direction, blinded by the tears that welled in her eyes. He was her everything. He moved the very earth beneath her feet. She needed him to understand.

Kurru
She turned, wheeling about to face him, as his head snapped away as if she were painful to look at.

She was.

It hurt.

His fists clenched and unclenched, fingers dragging through his hair, pulling and tugging, his teeth grinding, feet moving, wandering in aimless circles within the restrictions of the isle.

He could see it. Her. Him, a vague, faceless figure in his place.

Don't think I did it because I don't love you.

Why, then? What was it? What was he so desperately lacking? What couldn't he give her that she'd found in spreading her legs for another man?

Was he too predictable? Did he not please her enough? He was getting older, but surely his performance had not deteriorated so much that she found him so terribly underwhelming. If there had been signs, he had certainly missed them.

He shook his head, his frustration and anger audiating in the back of his throat as a feral growl.

He had questions.

He didn't want answers.

He didn't want to know. 

She'd betrayed him. That was all there was. He couldn't fathom why, what he'd done to deserve it. A lot of things, he supposed, but never… Not to her. He'd loved her, with everything he had left. He'd done nothing but, had he? He'd opened his home to her, and they'd built a life together. He'd been faithful, and he… He'd trusted her.

"I, uhm…", he swallowed thickly, his throat dry, tight. "I don't get it. I just - I thought…"

Idiot, you thought wrong.

"You can just leave your key with Cal or something. I'm going to go."


Taur
She watched as he paced, as he fought to rationalize what she'd told him. To put the pieces together and try to understand something that she herself didn't understand. 

I thought... 

Don't, Hugo, don't overthink. She wanted to go to him. To take his face in her hands and plead with him to understand that what she had done was in no way because of him or their life together, but her feet were firmly planted like tree roots in concrete. 

You can just leave your key with Cal

Wait, what?

Why did she need to leave her key? She would need to go home and pack some things. Get the dog. Gather enough stuff to get by in the studio... unless...

No. No, no, no...

"Hugo, wait," she barely squeaked out the words, immediately coughing to clear her throat. "Just wait. Okay, we can talk. I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but please. Let me explain. Okay, I love you. We've been through rough spots before, we can figure this out."


Kurru 
Tabby was silent as he turned his back on her, his fists stuffed deep in his pockets. His fingers met the box of Winfield Blues, and he grabbed them, pulling one hasily from the cardboard case and setting it between his lips. He only realised how badly he was shaking as he flicked the lighter, and the flame staggered and whorled as if caught in an updraft.

"Hugo, wait."

His name of her lips felt like a swift kick to the gut, and he paused to look back over his shoulder. Even with her eyes puffy and red, and her cheeks streaked with tears, she was beautiful. His heart clenched, and he drew a deep breath of smoke in an effort to subdue the burning at the back of his throat.

He shook his head, and smiled nastily at her. "Yeah… Or maybe you just shouldn't've fucked some other dude," he shrugged, almost nonchalantly. The kettle was back. "I don't want to talk about it Tabby, I don't want to fucking know. Just… leave your key with Cal. I have to go."



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Comments: 9

monymay14 [2019-08-25 02:26:18 +0000 UTC]

awww...oh, this, i just can't handle this...so sad...        

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tauriiga In reply to monymay14 [2019-08-25 02:55:56 +0000 UTC]

 all the heartbreak

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kurrumin [2019-08-25 00:11:13 +0000 UTC]

 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tauriiga In reply to Kurrumin [2019-08-25 02:55:27 +0000 UTC]

 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Tamashi-Sama [2019-08-24 22:54:15 +0000 UTC]

Q-Q such a good story, a dramatic and sad one too

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tauriiga In reply to Tamashi-Sama [2019-08-24 23:00:10 +0000 UTC]

Much heart break. Definitely didn't go the way Tabby had planned. She knew it would be bad, but never expected this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tamashi-Sama In reply to Tauriiga [2019-08-24 23:05:04 +0000 UTC]

very much heart break right there >_< Cannot wait for next part

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tauriiga In reply to Tamashi-Sama [2019-08-24 23:06:21 +0000 UTC]

She's gonna be showing and trying to just accept everything, and spend time away from home. Next up is actually Reiwa, then Toronto.

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Tamashi-Sama In reply to Tauriiga [2019-08-24 23:09:26 +0000 UTC]

X) very excited now~

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