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teejaii — SMV: Sailor Vermilion drops in pg 1
Published: 2013-06-17 17:19:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 193; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 0
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So I've NEVER done anything like this before, and it kinda stressed me out a little xD but it was a good learning experience!
So Ms. Jaqueline made it to Earth in one piece (which is a miracle) but failed to realise that unlike on her home world (where her kingdom comprised of the ENTIRE planet), Earth had many different countries and continents.
It's probably not recognisable so I've made little annotations, but she's landed in Australia!
C+C would be greatly appreciated as this is my first time ^^
pg 1 <-
pg 2
pg 3
Sailor Moon (c) Naoko Takeuchi
Sailor Vermilion (c) me
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Comments: 11
All right, sorry it took me so long to start critiquing! I'll be going page by page, for the record.
I want to say your margins are a little too big, but in a way it works. I would recommend adding a little more space on the bottom, if only to make it look more symmetrical with all that space on the top. You've also got a small typo: It should be "Regent", not "Regnant" I think. Remember to spellcheck everything!
I like what you're trying to portray with Jaques appearing in front of Uluru, but the panels are really small for something that should be a huge occasion. The more important an event is (like Jaques' arrival), the larger the panel should be so the reader can focus more on it. Because your panels are so small, the impact of Uluru isn't really that huge. I would even have made that entire scene a separate page.
Your style is really cute and Jaques is adorable, but I would pay attention to how her arms bend on the bottom panel -- it's a little stiff and anatomically incorrect. I think it's because her shoulders could be slightly wider, giving her arms more room to move around. The guy she's talking to doesn't fit your "kawaii" style as well, so definitely practice drawing guys as well.
You've drawn backgrounds, but I didn't even notice them until a reread. A way to separate the foreground from the background is to draw the people in the front with a thicker pen width, as bolder lines stand out more. In fact, I think your pages are calling for more dynamic line width -- because your lineart is very simple, you have to fill in all that empty space with either thicker lineart or grayscale tones. Your other option is drawing in more details, but with the style you have I would recommend experimenting with dynamic lineart instead of sticking to a single line width.
I have to admit I was expecting Vermilion to be a lot more serious than this, and I am so glad you proved me wrong! She is all sorts of adorable and I have quite the soft spot for her.
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Thanks so much for your critique! Being so new to putting together a comic, I was a bit lost as what to do >< So this is sooooo helpful!
Ah in relation to "Regent" and "Regnant" I did get a little confused with it but after a bit of researching when building up my character I learnt that "Regent" is the title give to someone who is a temporary ruler, where as a "Regnant" is someone who rules in their own right. So Jaques is the rightful ruler of Vermilion. I hope that made sense lol
I'll keep your advice in mind when I put together my next comic. I'll have to do some researching on backgrounds, probably get in a bit more practice with anatomy as well, because those are definitely things I struggle with.
Again thank you so so much for this!
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Oh I didn't know regnant was an actual word! That's pretty cool, I've learned something today
Yeah, don't be afraid to just doodle for the sake of practicing too-- the more you draw the better you get!
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Thanks so much for the comments ! Glad you guys like it so far ^^
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I agree with all the other comments; and also, Jaqueline's tiara is beautiful! I love that the firebird (I think it's a firebird) is incorporated into the tiara's design. I'm in love with it.
Does C+C stand for comments and critiques? I can gladly give you some if that's the case.
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Yup that's right! It'd be great if you could!
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