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textingEdits — Loser's Trap
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#bully #facesitting #fart #humiliation #siblings #fartingfetish
Published: 2020-01-18 19:54:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 64999; Favourites: 314; Downloads: 1072
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Description
(It's a PDF this time since it was too big to upload via sta.sh writer. You'll have to download it if you're using a phone. Browser users should be able to just use the browser PDF reader.)I had a lot of fun writing this one. This is another story about Allie and her brother Mikey. This takes place a few years before No One Rides for Free so we won't be seeing David this time. This isn't from any specific texting story that I have here. I just had a few thoughts about the characters and wanted to write about them. I hope you'll enjoy the story of two boy's summer vacation in the Loser's Trap.
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I take any and all questions! None are odd considering my subject matter. This picture was procured via a retweet by Twitter user @JackNewconfa don't know much beyond that.
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Fuckin' stellar story you have here! The way you described the various sensations Allie was feeling as she sat on the boy's faces almost made me feel like I was the one doing it!
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That's the exact feeling I wanted to capture. I love writing as the dominant character, I also simply find females easier to write than males.
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Well you have a talent for it! Can't wait for the next one
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Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad the sentiment is that this one is better than the last. I'd hate to move backwards.
The mouth-fart is something that I'd seen a few times and I really enjoyed the idea. Some folks enjoy the idea of the fart getting caught inside of the victim and inflating their stomach or something. But I figure it probably wouldn't be that different from swallowing a bunch of air, which makes you burp. So that direction felt more natural. Allie was also coming off of a humiliation high so she was going a little farther than she normally would.
The criticism that I didn't describe feeling enough in my last story stuck with me and I really tried to make the feelings and emotions come out more in this story. Of course this made me consider a few different dynamics. As someone who in my adult life has partaken in a few facesitting sessions myself, you can't really get that close to a butt without at least grazing the "other" parts if not a bit more. So I wanted to play around with this idea. The feeling of breath against that place helps me get Allie to a different state of mind, a place where she's also having a hard time thinking straight. In the future I might have this backfire on her and get her in trouble, but this time it was just additional pleasure.
To address the idea of taste, that is uniquely difficult within my story. We're never privy to what Mikey is thinking and I don't have much of a desire to tell a story from a victim's point of view. Leaving me with either having Allie ask how something tastes, or having her infer based on smell. As someone who's never tasted anything quite like that in my life, I'd have a hard time describing it. But this is all definitely something to consider the next time I write.
Smell on the other hand is easier to write about, however I tend to get bored when an author describes smell for too long. Strangely enough, despite having a fart fetish smell descriptors don't do much for me. But I definitely see where adding a few more descriptors could spice up the writing. Like describing the difference between farts brought on by soda and farts brought on by sugar free gummy bears. (The gummy bears and soda is a real thing by the way, I did my research ) I thought it was a bit more unique than going for something I'd read a hundred times before like Taco Bell, chili, broccoli, etc.
All in all, thank you for your comment. I love hearing about what people liked and areas where I can improve.
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Should be a download button right between the bio section and the "more from textingEdits" gallery.
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Thank you very much! Realism is important to me, as is character motivation. This plays into the bare butt scene and I'd like to elaborate on that one a bit.
So my thinking when I first sat down to write this was to tell the story of the first time Allie realized that she enjoyed people watching her. By the time No One Rides for Free takes place, she's fully aware of how an audience makes her feel and as such is better at controlling her emotions. In Loser's Trap, she's younger and lets the thrill of an audience go to her head and as such takes it too far. Much to Mikey's misfortune.
This was my story reasoning for Allie to get a little bare-butt action going on. I also enjoy building momentum in a story and I didn't want a weak payoff. Had she just repeated something she'd done before at the end I feel like I wouldn't have been satisfied and neither would my readers. That's one of the reasons it takes a while for me to write something. If I don't like it, I delete it and start over.
But thanks again for the compliments. I hope my next story will be equally interesting.
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I can always use help and suggestions. But I thank you anyways. I'm always thinking of possible new ideas but no, I have an old draft here and there but I'm not working on anything at the moment.
If I lose interest and I feel like I'm just trying to string "sexy" scenes together then I lose motivation fast. Some stories are best left to the short texting concepts because not everything is so easily expanded upon.
Honestly I'd love to do something with the Kortney character that has appeared in a few different textingEdits. But every time I write her she comes off like a lunatic. So who knows. I know I sure don't.
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Wow, absolutely loved this story! Especially love the idea of her strapping his face to her butt with a belt, so hot!
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Thank you! I try my best to curb Allie's actions to make her feel threatening and aggressive but not overly violent. I wanted the belt scene to really contrast the difference in power between the two early. If you'll notice, both Mikey and Allie are younger than they were in No One Rides for Free. I wanted to illustrate that the power difference between the two is a much wider this time. Mikey can't hold her up anymore, let alone pull his head out from under a tight belt.
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oh my God ! one of the best stories i have ever red
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Thanks! I was worried it might have been getting too long and people wouldn't wanna read it! If you don't mind me asking, what scene was your favorite? Do you feel like anything could have been expanded on? In my last story someone had told me that I should describe how Mikey's movements feel to Allie, I did so this time and I think the story turned out much better.
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more than a single scene, i loved how she taunts them after every fart !
and i liked a lot the fact that the story don't have thousand of farts but just a few and big ones too. it seems more realistic.
another thing i enjoyed is the psychology of the characters (even Danny)
how she find that she loves to torture her brother because he don't like it ....her sadistic aspect.
i even loved how you describe the loudness of the farts and the vibrations...
the only thing i feel you can improve sincerely is the onomatopoeia , they always seems little farts and then we read that they echoed in the room so i imagine they are gigantic farts .....but it's just a detail
i think the story was too short ,not too long xD i would read 1000 pages of it in a day.
i even heva an idea for a story ...if you are interested let me know and i will share it with you.
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Thanks! I appreciate these comments so much as they let me talk more about the idea behind some of the writing.
At it's heart I want these stories to feel like they could totally happen and maybe have happened somewhere at some point. That's why I try to keep everything grounded and have the character's be believable. As such the farts should also be believable. The idea of some girl being able to conjure up 30 10 second long farts in a single afternoon is unrealistic!
You actually touched on the reason I wanted to write this story in the first place, mentioning her sadistic aspect. I was thinking about the characters and thought about whether Allie liked torturing because she found it exciting or erotic? Or if she just liked it because she liked feeling stronger than her opponent? That's where Danny comes in. I wanted to create the kind of character that I typically don't like reading about in other stories, the boy that secretly enjoys it. That's why I wanted Allie to realize that the she didn't have fun tormenting Danny because she could tell he was into it. So by the end she just lets him enjoy watching because the trill of dominating Mikey with an audience was even better than doing it by herself.
And you can thank yourself for the descriptions of the loudness and vibrations. You were the critique that I thought about when I was writing the "dirty" scenes. I wanted to make sure to describe how it felt for Allie, since people rarely write about this kind of thing from the position of the bully. I thought it was important to consider why they enjoyed what they do. What she gets out of it all.
And finally by all means let me know what sorts of ideas you have. I'll be up front about not doing requests, but inspiration can come from anywhere. If you've got an idea let me hear it!
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i am glad if i helped you write this masterpiece with my critique
i will send you a note for my idea for a story hoping you will like it ...to me it seems a lot like a story for your style.
it has a lot of psychological aspect
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I'll read it and reply to you personally. I prefer taking a psychological approach for Allie as a character. Her being stronger is an important part of the storytelling (thus the large age difference) but if all of my encounters were simply "she's bigger and tougher and he can't do anything" I'd get bored.
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When it comes to this genre, you surely are one of the best writer. Amazing stuff. I might have noticed some issues: the boys’ names getting mixed up here and there. Everything else is perfect
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Aww. I tried so hard to make sure I didn't get the names screwed up. Shoulda gone with a name that didn't end in "y" to make it easier. .
But anyways, thanks for the compliment. I have a lot of fun with these characters and I'm glad other people enjoy the story. Did you have a particular favorite part? Maybe a part that didn't work so well?
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