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Description
In an Imperial prison facility on Balmorra, Sabine Wren was flanked by two stormtroopers as she was marched to the execution chamber. Her wrists were shackled together with a tight pair of stun cuffs and her lips were sealed with a metal gag when her snide insults became too much for the guards to handle.
As Sabine was shoved into the room, she found herself face-to-face with a tall Inquisitor clad in black armor that glistened under the overhead lights. The Inquisitor leaned forward and cupped Sabine's chin in his hand.
"And what do we have here?" the Dark Side enforcer drawled.
"We detained this one after we caught her attempting to detonate a vital shuttle bay on Ryloth, sir," one of the stormtroopers stated.
"Is that so?"
Sabine rolled her eyes at the Inquisitor's exaggerated use of rhetorical questioning.
"Tell me, rebel scum. Where did the rest of your fellow conspirators and saboteurs scurry off too?" the Inquisitor reached out and pressed a small button on the side of Sabine's gag. The explosives specialist stretched her lips as the metal muzzle was lifted off her face.
"I counter your question with my own," Sabine snarked. "If you were gonna grill me for information, was the gag really necessary?"
The Inquisitor gritted his yellowed teeth as he wrapped a hand around the hilt of his lightsaber.
"In our defense, you wouldn't shut up about how 'dull and bland' our armor was," one stormtrooper piped up.
"Speaking of, is that really a Mandalorian Diamond you painted on your uniform?" another stormtrooper asked.
Sabine flashed the symbol of her people that she scrawled onto the left shoulder of her uniform. "You like it? In Mando'a, it's called a ka'rta beskar."
The stormtrooper nodded. "My bunkmate and I are real fans of Mandalorian culture. If it helps, we were actually kinda bummed out we had to launch an occupation on your homeworld."
Sabine arched a brow. "Thanks... I guess?"
"Enough of this!" the Inquisitor flashed his lightsaber and held the blade close to Sabine's neck. "Now. You will tell me everything you know about the locations of any rebel bases in this sector."
"You're not getting anything from me." Sabine narrowed her eyes. "And even if you did, you won't find anyone. We've trained for scenarios like this: they'll slip away like womp rats, and any hopes you have of catching up to us will be long gone."
The Inquisitor lifted his lightsaber high into the air. "Hope is a very fragile thing."
He swung forward. Sabine shut her eyes and sent one last prayer to whoever or whatever out there was listening. In one swift motion, the crimson lightsaber blade pierced right through her chest, as the Inquisitor grinned sadistically at his handiwork.
A few seconds passed. Then one minute.
The stormtroopers looked at each other confusedly as Sabine still stood upright, showing no signs of pain from her impalement. Sabine slowly opened her eyes to see the lightsaber jutting through her torso and out from her spine.
"...Was that supposed to do something?" Sabine asked, hardly believing the miracle that was unfolding in front of her.
"This...should not be possible," the Inquisitor muttered. He growled before pulling the lightsaber out of Sabine's chest and stabbing her again in the same spot.
Again, Sabine stood completely unharmed.
"Huh. That's not something you see every day." one stormtrooper cocked his head in wonder.
"What sorcery is this?!" the Inquisitor demanded as he pulled out his lightsaber again. "You are no Jedi!"
"Maybe you oughta sharpen that blade, pal. That barely tickled," Sabine jested.
"You will not be so arrogant when I'm done with you!" the Inquisitor stabbed Sabine in a different spot, but his eyes bulged when she still remained unfazed by his weapon cutting right through her body.
"Nice try."
"Erm... Eat this!" He stabbed her again.
And once again, his lightsaber had no effect on her. "A for effort, I guess."
"Wait, wait, you're doing it all wrong!" another stormtrooper stepped forward and held out a gloved hand. "May I?"
The Inquisitor huffed and handed the stormtrooper his lightsaber.
"Okay. Maybe if you position the blade at this angle, tilt it like this..."
As the stormtrooper angled the Inquisitor's lightsaber near her torso, Sabine awkwardly looked over her shoulder at the other Imperial soldiers, who all gave a collective shrug that showed they were just as confused as she was.
"Ah-ha! This ought to do it!" the first stormtrooper plunged the lightsaber through another spot in Sabine's chest.
To the Inquisitor's barely-contained ire, Sabine still remained standing, right as rain.
"Getting kinda bored now, guys," Sabine sighed.
"This is preposterous!!" the Inqusitor shoved away the stormtrooper who borrowed his lightsaber and stomped right up to Sabine. "You should be dead!!"
"Hey, it's not like I asked to magically become invincible. I'm just counting my blessings." Sabine shrugged nonchalantly.
"Maybe she would've died from the start if you stabbed one of her vital organs, sir," one stormtrooper suggested.
"But that makes no sense! If you get stabbed by a laser sword strong enough to cut through durasteel, you're gonna die! Simple as that!" argued another stormtrooper standing behind him.
"Guys, stop overcomplicating things! We can just lop off her head and call it a day," one other stormtrooper butted in.
"But if we kill her now, we'll lose our only lead to finding those blasted rebels!" the Inquisitor reminded his soldiers.
"Exactly!" yet another stormtrooper yelled. "For all we know, those rebels probably have some new advanced tech that can revive a decapitated head."
"Not this again!"
Sabine remained where she stood and shook her head as the gathered Imperials descended into a chorus of loud arguments.
It's no wonder we're getting a leg up on these guys, Sabine thought to herself.
As a couple of stormtroopers resorted to shoving each other, Sabine looked down and noticed that the Inquisitor's lightsaber was still stuck inside her chest.
Okay, now I know for sure there's some weird Force mojo going on here. This has gotta be breaking a lot of cosmic rules somewhere. ...Then again, when have I ever followed the rules?
Not wasting another moment, Sabine used the blade of the lightsaber to slice through her stun cuffs. She then yanked the lightsaber out of her chest and twirled it in the air. "Hate to break up the in-fighting, boys, but I think I've overstayed my welcome."
The Inquisitor had no time to react as Sabine rushed forward and plunged his own lightsaber straight through his heart. The Inquisitor screamed in agony as he collapsed onto the ground, while a few stormtroopers rushed to his aid. Sabine then used her martial arts to disable the rest of the stormtroopers before rushing out the door.
"I'll be sure to send you and your bunkmate some copies of my artwork sometime!" Sabine called to that one stormtrooper who took a liking to her Mandalorian art.
"Aww! I can't wait!"
"What're the chances a rebel terrorist is gonna send you her portfolio work?" another stormtrooper next to him challenged.
"...A guy can dream, can't he?"
"Hey... If that lady could survive getting stabbed by a lightsaber a bunch of times, how can the Inquisitor be dying right now after getting stabbed just once?" asked a stormtrooper who knelt next to the fatally-wounded Inquisitor.
"I'm telling you, man. Gotta nick those vital arteries."
"But lightsabers can heat up to over a thousand degrees! Hot enough to melt durasteel, remember? Who's gonna survive getting stabbed by something like that??"
"...Idiots..." The last thing the Inquisitor heard before dying was the sound of his stormtroopers bickering amongst each other over what was fact and what was not.

--Before anyone asks, yes: this is sort of a potshot at the inconsistent writing of Disney Star Wars, especially the new Ahsoka show. The amount of mental gymnastics being used to justify surviving a lightsaber wound to the gut shows how far the franchise has fallen from grace. If Qui-Gon can't survive that, I don't see how Sabine can.
--But on the bright side, bad writing can make for great memes and jokes. A lot of inspiration for this damsel piece came from Zenger's Star Wars AI series on YouTube, specifically this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh_cGK…
I highly recommend checking out his work! The writing and comedy are definitely better than most of the stuff Disney's cranking out nowadays.
--Also, the serial numbers on Sabine's uniform are a nod to Star Wars Rebels' airdate.

Description
In an Imperial prison facility on Balmorra, Sabine Wren was flanked by two stormtroopers as she was marched to the execution chamber. Her wrists were shackled together with a tight pair of stun cuffs and her lips were sealed with a metal gag when her snide insults became too much for the guards to handle.
As Sabine was shoved into the room, she found herself face-to-face with a tall Inquisitor clad in black armor that glistened under the overhead lights. The Inquisitor leaned forward and cupped Sabine's chin in his hand.
"And what do we have here?" the Dark Side enforcer drawled.
"We detained this one after we caught her attempting to detonate a vital shuttle bay on Ryloth, sir," one of the stormtroopers stated.
"Is that so?"
Sabine rolled her eyes at the Inquisitor's exaggerated use of rhetorical questioning.
"Tell me, rebel scum. Where did the rest of your fellow conspirators and saboteurs scurry off too?" the Inquisitor reached out and pressed a small button on the side of Sabine's gag. The explosives specialist stretched her lips as the metal muzzle was lifted off her face.
"I counter your question with my own," Sabine snarked. "If you were gonna grill me for information, was the gag really necessary?"
The Inquisitor gritted his yellowed teeth as he wrapped a hand around the hilt of his lightsaber.
"In our defense, you wouldn't shut up about how 'dull and bland' our armor was," one stormtrooper piped up.
"Speaking of, is that really a Mandalorian Diamond you painted on your uniform?" another stormtrooper asked.
Sabine flashed the symbol of her people that she scrawled onto the left shoulder of her uniform. "You like it? In Mando'a, it's called a ka'rta beskar."
The stormtrooper nodded. "My bunkmate and I are real fans of Mandalorian culture. If it helps, we were actually kinda bummed out we had to launch an occupation on your homeworld."
Sabine arched a brow. "Thanks... I guess?"
"Enough of this!" the Inquisitor flashed his lightsaber and held the blade close to Sabine's neck. "Now. You will tell me everything you know about the locations of any rebel bases in this sector."
"You're not getting anything from me." Sabine narrowed her eyes. "And even if you did, you won't find anyone. We've trained for scenarios like this: they'll slip away like womp rats, and any hopes you have of catching up to us will be long gone."
The Inquisitor lifted his lightsaber high into the air. "Hope is a very fragile thing."
He swung forward. Sabine shut her eyes and sent one last prayer to whoever or whatever out there was listening. In one swift motion, the crimson lightsaber blade pierced right through her chest, as the Inquisitor grinned sadistically at his handiwork.
A few seconds passed. Then one minute.
The stormtroopers looked at each other confusedly as Sabine still stood upright, showing no signs of pain from her impalement. Sabine slowly opened her eyes to see the lightsaber jutting through her torso and out from her spine.
"...Was that supposed to do something?" Sabine asked, hardly believing the miracle that was unfolding in front of her.
"This...should not be possible," the Inquisitor muttered. He growled before pulling the lightsaber out of Sabine's chest and stabbing her again in the same spot.
Again, Sabine stood completely unharmed.
"Huh. That's not something you see every day." one stormtrooper cocked his head in wonder.
"What sorcery is this?!" the Inquisitor demanded as he pulled out his lightsaber again. "You are no Jedi!"
"Maybe you oughta sharpen that blade, pal. That barely tickled," Sabine jested.
"You will not be so arrogant when I'm done with you!" the Inquisitor stabbed Sabine in a different spot, but his eyes bulged when she still remained unfazed by his weapon cutting right through her body.
"Nice try."
"Erm... Eat this!" He stabbed her again.
And once again, his lightsaber had no effect on her. "A for effort, I guess."
"Wait, wait, you're doing it all wrong!" another stormtrooper stepped forward and held out a gloved hand. "May I?"
The Inquisitor huffed and handed the stormtrooper his lightsaber.
"Okay. Maybe if you position the blade at this angle, tilt it like this..."
As the stormtrooper angled the Inquisitor's lightsaber near her torso, Sabine awkwardly looked over her shoulder at the other Imperial soldiers, who all gave a collective shrug that showed they were just as confused as she was.
"Ah-ha! This ought to do it!" the first stormtrooper plunged the lightsaber through another spot in Sabine's chest.
To the Inquisitor's barely-contained ire, Sabine still remained standing, right as rain.
"Getting kinda bored now, guys," Sabine sighed.
"This is preposterous!!" the Inqusitor shoved away the stormtrooper who borrowed his lightsaber and stomped right up to Sabine. "You should be dead!!"
"Hey, it's not like I asked to magically become invincible. I'm just counting my blessings." Sabine shrugged nonchalantly.
"Maybe she would've died from the start if you stabbed one of her vital organs, sir," one stormtrooper suggested.
"But that makes no sense! If you get stabbed by a laser sword strong enough to cut through durasteel, you're gonna die! Simple as that!" argued another stormtrooper standing behind him.
"Guys, stop overcomplicating things! We can just lop off her head and call it a day," one other stormtrooper butted in.
"But if we kill her now, we'll lose our only lead to finding those blasted rebels!" the Inquisitor reminded his soldiers.
"Exactly!" yet another stormtrooper yelled. "For all we know, those rebels probably have some new advanced tech that can revive a decapitated head."
"Not this again!"
Sabine remained where she stood and shook her head as the gathered Imperials descended into a chorus of loud arguments.
It's no wonder we're getting a leg up on these guys, Sabine thought to herself.
As a couple of stormtroopers resorted to shoving each other, Sabine looked down and noticed that the Inquisitor's lightsaber was still stuck inside her chest.
Okay, now I know for sure there's some weird Force mojo going on here. This has gotta be breaking a lot of cosmic rules somewhere. ...Then again, when have I ever followed the rules?
Not wasting another moment, Sabine used the blade of the lightsaber to slice through her stun cuffs. She then yanked the lightsaber out of her chest and twirled it in the air. "Hate to break up the in-fighting, boys, but I think I've overstayed my welcome."
The Inquisitor had no time to react as Sabine rushed forward and plunged his own lightsaber straight through his heart. The Inquisitor screamed in agony as he collapsed onto the ground, while a few stormtroopers rushed to his aid. Sabine then used her martial arts to disable the rest of the stormtroopers before rushing out the door.
"I'll be sure to send you and your bunkmate some copies of my artwork sometime!" Sabine called to that one stormtrooper who took a liking to her Mandalorian art.
"Aww! I can't wait!"
"What're the chances a rebel terrorist is gonna send you her portfolio work?" another stormtrooper next to him challenged.
"...A guy can dream, can't he?"
"Hey... If that lady could survive getting stabbed by a lightsaber a bunch of times, how can the Inquisitor be dying right now after getting stabbed just once?" asked a stormtrooper who knelt next to the fatally-wounded Inquisitor.
"I'm telling you, man. Gotta nick those vital arteries."
"But lightsabers can heat up to over a thousand degrees! Hot enough to melt durasteel, remember? Who's gonna survive getting stabbed by something like that??"
"...Idiots..." The last thing the Inquisitor heard before dying was the sound of his stormtroopers bickering amongst each other over what was fact and what was not.

--Before anyone asks, yes: this is sort of a potshot at the inconsistent writing of Disney Star Wars, especially the new Ahsoka show. The amount of mental gymnastics being used to justify surviving a lightsaber wound to the gut shows how far the franchise has fallen from grace. If Qui-Gon can't survive that, I don't see how Sabine can.
--But on the bright side, bad writing can make for great memes and jokes. A lot of inspiration for this damsel piece came from Zenger's Star Wars AI series on YouTube, specifically this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh_cGK…
I highly recommend checking out his work! The writing and comedy are definitely better than most of the stuff Disney's cranking out nowadays.
--Also, the serial numbers on Sabine's uniform are a nod to Star Wars Rebels' airdate.