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Joseph – A Pattern of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an issue I think every single Christian alive has struggled with at some point or another. Sometimes, things just happen in life that hit us in bad spots of our lives, and we can’t bring ourselves to forgive the person who wronged us. However, the bible does teach us that we are to forgive as God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 5:7, 2 Corinthians 5:19, among many others); are we saying that there are only so many sins that God should forgive of ours?

I doubt it, so there has to be a flaw in the way a lot of us view forgiveness. I have seen a lot of empty issues of forgiveness – forgiveness which is verbally admitted, but the person still treats whatever happened the exact same way they did before they ‘forgave the other person’. Humanity has a tendency to do that; we want to please God, so, often unknowingly, we tack on a verbal post-it note to the situation with the words ‘I forgive this’. We wind up with huge piles of garbage covered in little yellow pieces of paper. We have given ‘forgiveness’, but yet the garbage remains.

What does it mean to forgive? How should we forgive those who wrong us? Instead of labeling a pile of garbage as ‘forgiven’, how do we remove the garbage entirely? This can be a pretty hard issue for a lot of people. We ask ourselves many of the same questions; How do I forgive my mother for abusing me? How do I forgive my friends for abandoning me? How do I forgive my brothers for selling me into slavery?

What? Ya, you knew this was going to go into a biblical story somewhere. Joseph (the little tike born in Genesis 30:24 who consequently took up the rest of the book) wasn’t treated very well by his brothers; so much so, that they often took every chance they could to abuse him in some way (Personally, running around proclaiming that all his family will soon bow to him, seems to lack a little something called ‘tact’ the bible teaches us of, so I wouldn’t exactly call him innocent in many ways, but that’s another devotional). However, one day his brothers took their feelings a bit too far, and almost tried to kill Joseph; instead, they simply sold him into slavery in Egypt.

Now, at this point, life already sucks a pretty good deal. Separated from his homeland, rejected by his brothers, and working as a slave, tends to put a damper on anyone’s day. Joseph, however, uses his resources, and soon rises to be an important figure in Pontiphar’s household. Life is starting to look up, until he catches the eye of Pontiphar’s wife. She wants to sleep with him, but out of respect for his master, a good sense of morals, and a healthy fear of God, he refuses. She calls him on a rape charge, and he gets thrown in jail.

And it gets better, too. When in jail, Joseph helps a prisoner interpret his dreams; in return, the prisoner, one of the Pharaoh’s advisors, offers to help get him out of jail. The advisor goes free, and forgets Joseph. At this point, Joseph’s life is one of being sold into slavery by his own brothers, getting imprisoned for standing up for morality, and having his last chance at being freed sitting in Pharaoh’s court, happily baking away, with no memory of Joseph’s help.

The point I’m trying to make at this point is this; Joseph’s life sucked. Those garbage piles were towering above him, teetering back and forth. Joseph had a great deal amount to be bitter about in life. What did he do?

Well, long story short, the baker remembered Joseph a good amount of time later (long enough for Joseph to grow a tree in the cartoon), and when Joseph helped Pharaoh interpret a dream, Pharaoh put him in charge of all Egypt. Life is finally taking a good turn; he has riches, he has power, and he has command of an entire nation. But one day, his brothers come to Egypt searching for provision.

Has anyone ever just stuffed a problem away, only to have some ‘ghosts from the past’ come back to haunt you? I sure have. Joseph tucked away his problems and lived a life of luxury, but they didn’t go away; they simply sat for a while. When he saw his brothers, it brought back all the pain and all the bitterness of his history. He couldn’t let go of what his brothers did, so he treated them badly, all the while hiding his identity. However, his love for his brother Benjamin, seeing his brothers changed and bartering for the freedom of Benjamin, and a good deal of work from God, seemed to turn his heart around.

Many Christians would benefit from following the next actions of Joseph towards his brothers. I’ve set out the major concepts in a nice little organizational chart, complete with bold titles in all their thick glory.

1) Joseph dealt with the problem only with the people who it concerned
Joseph had plenty of power to go and have his brothers killed without even a question, but when he brought out the truth, he did it with compassion. He cleared the room, and spoke to them alone, so that their sin would be dealt with between them alone.

The bible teaches us this pretty clearly in Matthew 18:15 - ‘If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private’. God teaches us that with problems with people around us, we should deal with them in private, so not to create any situations beyond what is there already. I’ve seen many people who felt the need to consult others with a problem they had with someone else, instead of simply taking it to that person (myself included in this list); this almost always creates malcontent, gossip and slander directed towards the other person. We should take it to the source, and deal with the problem with the people it involves; when dealing with a possible consequence to a wrongful action, God desires that the person experiences not a single bit more than what is restitution and redemption for the sin committed.

2) Joseph did the best he could to alleviate the guilt of his brothers
Joseph spends a lot of time with his brothers making sure that they do not feel guilty about what happened; in fact, he has to remind them 3 times to not feel guilty! God desires restitution and reconciliation for what happened, not a sense of guilt. 1 Corinthians 4:13 says ‘when we are slandered, we try to conciliate’ where conciliate literally means ‘to allay the sorrow or grief of’. The bible teaches that while truth should reign in a situation, it should not come hand in hand with causing another person pain.

Now, many Christians confuse this with simply dismissing what the person did, and writing the fact that it happened as OK. Joseph did not do this; he knew very well that it was not something right, but he also knew that God had turned it around into something beautiful. Joseph recognized the power of God to use all things, and now saw the work of God through even his bad times. Joseph thanked God for using a negative thing to make such a beautiful conclusion, and urged his brothers to do the same.

3) Joseph accepted his brothers back with love
This is often the hardest part for Christians. ‘I forgive you, but I don’t have to like you anymore’ is a phrase I’ve heard in many arguments. Well, examine why you don’t like them; is it related to this issue? I’ll bet you 9 times out of 10, it’s related in some way to a piece of this whole thing that you’re holding onto even after going through the first 2 steps.

With an old acquaintance, I was fully convinced that I had forgiven them for the way they hurt me, but I still didn’t like them, or wish to have anything to do with them; I examined my heart, and saw that this was related to the fact that I still disliked them for what they did, and that in some way I still rejected them because of their actions. Holding onto that little piece, even if I had fully believed that I forgave them, still created in me a lot of bitterness and malcontent.

Joseph accepted his brothers back fully, demonstrating a great deal of love and compassion towards them and their families. The bible teaches very clearly the kind of feelings we are to have towards everyone, including those we have forgiven; Colossians 3:12 – 13 states, ‘So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone’. There are a few very important traits to note; those of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. When you examine how you’ve forgiven someone, give it this litmus test; are you acting towards them out of a spirit of compassion? Are you kind to them, making them feel good? Are you gentle to them, being meek instead of forceful? Are you patient with them, bearing through whatever they may put forward, in an effort to see the situation resolved?

We as Christians need to demonstrate all of these things to those we forgive. I would dare to say that if a Christian cannot demonstrate each of these things towards the person they’re forgiving, that they need to take a second look at their heart for more bits of the garbage pile left over that are clogging the drains.

4) Joseph blessed his brothers
Not only are we supposed to let go of all malice and malcontent towards the person in our heart, and actually display them love and forgiveness, we’re also supposed to wish them blessings. Joseph adorned his brothers with gold and many gifts, and gave them a long train of goods to bring back to their father.

Now, don’t take this legalistically; praying that God materially bless everyone you forgave isn’t a requirement. The point is in the heart motives; 1 Peter 3:9 teaches us that we should act with compassion, ‘not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing’. God is telling us that we shouldn’t sink to revenge on others; that our hearts should genuinely be aligned to wish blessings upon everyone, and that malice or revenge have no place in our hearts.

Most of all, God is giving us a pretty emphatic nudge in that scripture. We are to act towards others in the way God acts towards us; for, just as ‘you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing’, we cannot return evil for evil and deny someone the blessings we are to have for them, for God can just as easily repay our evil for evil as well, and deny us the blessings he has for us.

I am not teaching a ‘bless people and God will bless you’ prosperity gospel tangent; I am simply stating a good way to measure your heart. How can we receive the blessings from God, given our sinful natures, when we easily turn around and repay the sin of others with evil actions? By doing so, we essentially invalidate God’s will and God’s method; we pray constantly that God would do so in our lives, and yet deny working the power of God into the lives of others in the same way.

5) Joseph recognized that he was not the one to judge
This is the kicker. As bad as his brothers acted, and as much as they may genuinely have deserved punishment for their actions, Joseph recognized that, if nothing else, he had absolutely no right being the one to bring it about.

Romans 12:19 puts this pretty plainly for us; ‘Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord’. It’s even in capitals. This verse puts the concept as plainly as could be; no matter what the other party may or may not deserve, no matter what kind of punishment they may have rightfully called upon themselves, we are NOT to be the ones to call it into effect. It is God’s job to bring consequence; we are simply not capable of doing it effectively enough. Our minds are clouded with emotion, and our thoughts are influenced by our particular viewpoint on this issue; only God alone is capable of making a restitution truly fitting to the sin.

So lets put it all together. Step 1 – keep it between the people it involves. Step 2 – make sure that both parties are not ruled by guilt. Step 3 - let go of malice and act only out of love. Step 4 - align your heart to genuinely want to see the person prosper and do well. Step 5 - always remember to leave judging to the only person who has the right to judge. How would I summarize this? True forgiveness, in all ways we act towards the other person, is an action founded in nothing but a genuine love for the other person, and a genuine abandonment of our desire to see punishment, consequence, and penalty for the other person, instead desiring to see them blessed and to see prosperity in their lives.

How does the whole story of Joseph end? Joseph’s brothers, with a caravan of gifts and treasure, go and retrieve their father, and they all live to the end of their days in splendor in Egypt. Joseph spent many years in rejection of his brothers, and many more putting the events of the past under the carpet. However, it wasn’t until Joseph acted out of true forgiveness that he was able to see true and total restoration of his life.

The same goes for us Christians as well. Because of us still holding onto a piece of the issue, even if it’s a small one, we’ll be hard pressed to see true restoration and growth unless total and true forgiveness is issued out. If we’re surrounded by garbage over our heads, even if its garbage so covered with post-it notes it’s now a yellow color, they still block our view of the beautiful world around us.

Description
Joseph – A Pattern of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an issue I think every single Christian alive has struggled with at some point or another. Sometimes, things just happen in life that hit us in bad spots of our lives, and we can’t bring ourselves to forgive the person who wronged us. However, the bible does teach us that we are to forgive as God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 5:7, 2 Corinthians 5:19, among many others); are we saying that there are only so many sins that God should forgive of ours?

I doubt it, so there has to be a flaw in the way a lot of us view forgiveness. I have seen a lot of empty issues of forgiveness – forgiveness which is verbally admitted, but the person still treats whatever happened the exact same way they did before they ‘forgave the other person’. Humanity has a tendency to do that; we want to please God, so, often unknowingly, we tack on a verbal post-it note to the situation with the words ‘I forgive this’. We wind up with huge piles of garbage covered in little yellow pieces of paper. We have given ‘forgiveness’, but yet the garbage remains.

What does it mean to forgive? How should we forgive those who wrong us? Instead of labeling a pile of garbage as ‘forgiven’, how do we remove the garbage entirely? This can be a pretty hard issue for a lot of people. We ask ourselves many of the same questions; How do I forgive my mother for abusing me? How do I forgive my friends for abandoning me? How do I forgive my brothers for selling me into slavery?

What? Ya, you knew this was going to go into a biblical story somewhere. Joseph (the little tike born in Genesis 30:24 who consequently took up the rest of the book) wasn’t treated very well by his brothers; so much so, that they often took every chance they could to abuse him in some way (Personally, running around proclaiming that all his family will soon bow to him, seems to lack a little something called ‘tact’ the bible teaches us of, so I wouldn’t exactly call him innocent in many ways, but that’s another devotional). However, one day his brothers took their feelings a bit too far, and almost tried to kill Joseph; instead, they simply sold him into slavery in Egypt.

Now, at this point, life already sucks a pretty good deal. Separated from his homeland, rejected by his brothers, and working as a slave, tends to put a damper on anyone’s day. Joseph, however, uses his resources, and soon rises to be an important figure in Pontiphar’s household. Life is starting to look up, until he catches the eye of Pontiphar’s wife. She wants to sleep with him, but out of respect for his master, a good sense of morals, and a healthy fear of God, he refuses. She calls him on a rape charge, and he gets thrown in jail.

And it gets better, too. When in jail, Joseph helps a prisoner interpret his dreams; in return, the prisoner, one of the Pharaoh’s advisors, offers to help get him out of jail. The advisor goes free, and forgets Joseph. At this point, Joseph’s life is one of being sold into slavery by his own brothers, getting imprisoned for standing up for morality, and having his last chance at being freed sitting in Pharaoh’s court, happily baking away, with no memory of Joseph’s help.

The point I’m trying to make at this point is this; Joseph’s life sucked. Those garbage piles were towering above him, teetering back and forth. Joseph had a great deal amount to be bitter about in life. What did he do?

Well, long story short, the baker remembered Joseph a good amount of time later (long enough for Joseph to grow a tree in the cartoon), and when Joseph helped Pharaoh interpret a dream, Pharaoh put him in charge of all Egypt. Life is finally taking a good turn; he has riches, he has power, and he has command of an entire nation. But one day, his brothers come to Egypt searching for provision.

Has anyone ever just stuffed a problem away, only to have some ‘ghosts from the past’ come back to haunt you? I sure have. Joseph tucked away his problems and lived a life of luxury, but they didn’t go away; they simply sat for a while. When he saw his brothers, it brought back all the pain and all the bitterness of his history. He couldn’t let go of what his brothers did, so he treated them badly, all the while hiding his identity. However, his love for his brother Benjamin, seeing his brothers changed and bartering for the freedom of Benjamin, and a good deal of work from God, seemed to turn his heart around.

Many Christians would benefit from following the next actions of Joseph towards his brothers. I’ve set out the major concepts in a nice little organizational chart, complete with bold titles in all their thick glory.

1) Joseph dealt with the problem only with the people who it concerned
Joseph had plenty of power to go and have his brothers killed without even a question, but when he brought out the truth, he did it with compassion. He cleared the room, and spoke to them alone, so that their sin would be dealt with between them alone.

The bible teaches us this pretty clearly in Matthew 18:15 - ‘If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private’. God teaches us that with problems with people around us, we should deal with them in private, so not to create any situations beyond what is there already. I’ve seen many people who felt the need to consult others with a problem they had with someone else, instead of simply taking it to that person (myself included in this list); this almost always creates malcontent, gossip and slander directed towards the other person. We should take it to the source, and deal with the problem with the people it involves; when dealing with a possible consequence to a wrongful action, God desires that the person experiences not a single bit more than what is restitution and redemption for the sin committed.

2) Joseph did the best he could to alleviate the guilt of his brothers
Joseph spends a lot of time with his brothers making sure that they do not feel guilty about what happened; in fact, he has to remind them 3 times to not feel guilty! God desires restitution and reconciliation for what happened, not a sense of guilt. 1 Corinthians 4:13 says ‘when we are slandered, we try to conciliate’ where conciliate literally means ‘to allay the sorrow or grief of’. The bible teaches that while truth should reign in a situation, it should not come hand in hand with causing another person pain.

Now, many Christians confuse this with simply dismissing what the person did, and writing the fact that it happened as OK. Joseph did not do this; he knew very well that it was not something right, but he also knew that God had turned it around into something beautiful. Joseph recognized the power of God to use all things, and now saw the work of God through even his bad times. Joseph thanked God for using a negative thing to make such a beautiful conclusion, and urged his brothers to do the same.

3) Joseph accepted his brothers back with love
This is often the hardest part for Christians. ‘I forgive you, but I don’t have to like you anymore’ is a phrase I’ve heard in many arguments. Well, examine why you don’t like them; is it related to this issue? I’ll bet you 9 times out of 10, it’s related in some way to a piece of this whole thing that you’re holding onto even after going through the first 2 steps.

With an old acquaintance, I was fully convinced that I had forgiven them for the way they hurt me, but I still didn’t like them, or wish to have anything to do with them; I examined my heart, and saw that this was related to the fact that I still disliked them for what they did, and that in some way I still rejected them because of their actions. Holding onto that little piece, even if I had fully believed that I forgave them, still created in me a lot of bitterness and malcontent.

Joseph accepted his brothers back fully, demonstrating a great deal of love and compassion towards them and their families. The bible teaches very clearly the kind of feelings we are to have towards everyone, including those we have forgiven; Colossians 3:12 – 13 states, ‘So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone’. There are a few very important traits to note; those of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. When you examine how you’ve forgiven someone, give it this litmus test; are you acting towards them out of a spirit of compassion? Are you kind to them, making them feel good? Are you gentle to them, being meek instead of forceful? Are you patient with them, bearing through whatever they may put forward, in an effort to see the situation resolved?

We as Christians need to demonstrate all of these things to those we forgive. I would dare to say that if a Christian cannot demonstrate each of these things towards the person they’re forgiving, that they need to take a second look at their heart for more bits of the garbage pile left over that are clogging the drains.

4) Joseph blessed his brothers
Not only are we supposed to let go of all malice and malcontent towards the person in our heart, and actually display them love and forgiveness, we’re also supposed to wish them blessings. Joseph adorned his brothers with gold and many gifts, and gave them a long train of goods to bring back to their father.

Now, don’t take this legalistically; praying that God materially bless everyone you forgave isn’t a requirement. The point is in the heart motives; 1 Peter 3:9 teaches us that we should act with compassion, ‘not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing’. God is telling us that we shouldn’t sink to revenge on others; that our hearts should genuinely be aligned to wish blessings upon everyone, and that malice or revenge have no place in our hearts.

Most of all, God is giving us a pretty emphatic nudge in that scripture. We are to act towards others in the way God acts towards us; for, just as ‘you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing’, we cannot return evil for evil and deny someone the blessings we are to have for them, for God can just as easily repay our evil for evil as well, and deny us the blessings he has for us.

I am not teaching a ‘bless people and God will bless you’ prosperity gospel tangent; I am simply stating a good way to measure your heart. How can we receive the blessings from God, given our sinful natures, when we easily turn around and repay the sin of others with evil actions? By doing so, we essentially invalidate God’s will and God’s method; we pray constantly that God would do so in our lives, and yet deny working the power of God into the lives of others in the same way.

5) Joseph recognized that he was not the one to judge
This is the kicker. As bad as his brothers acted, and as much as they may genuinely have deserved punishment for their actions, Joseph recognized that, if nothing else, he had absolutely no right being the one to bring it about.

Romans 12:19 puts this pretty plainly for us; ‘Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord’. It’s even in capitals. This verse puts the concept as plainly as could be; no matter what the other party may or may not deserve, no matter what kind of punishment they may have rightfully called upon themselves, we are NOT to be the ones to call it into effect. It is God’s job to bring consequence; we are simply not capable of doing it effectively enough. Our minds are clouded with emotion, and our thoughts are influenced by our particular viewpoint on this issue; only God alone is capable of making a restitution truly fitting to the sin.

So lets put it all together. Step 1 – keep it between the people it involves. Step 2 – make sure that both parties are not ruled by guilt. Step 3 - let go of malice and act only out of love. Step 4 - align your heart to genuinely want to see the person prosper and do well. Step 5 - always remember to leave judging to the only person who has the right to judge. How would I summarize this? True forgiveness, in all ways we act towards the other person, is an action founded in nothing but a genuine love for the other person, and a genuine abandonment of our desire to see punishment, consequence, and penalty for the other person, instead desiring to see them blessed and to see prosperity in their lives.

How does the whole story of Joseph end? Joseph’s brothers, with a caravan of gifts and treasure, go and retrieve their father, and they all live to the end of their days in splendor in Egypt. Joseph spent many years in rejection of his brothers, and many more putting the events of the past under the carpet. However, it wasn’t until Joseph acted out of true forgiveness that he was able to see true and total restoration of his life.

The same goes for us Christians as well. Because of us still holding onto a piece of the issue, even if it’s a small one, we’ll be hard pressed to see true restoration and growth unless total and true forgiveness is issued out. If we’re surrounded by garbage over our heads, even if its garbage so covered with post-it notes it’s now a yellow color, they still block our view of the beautiful world around us.