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The-Pen — Black Heart

Published: 2005-05-01 22:12:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 143; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 6
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Description Was it that my heart was black.
Was it the skills that I lacked.
Why did you stab me in the back.
I loved you,
and thats a fact.
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Comments: 4

QwithoutaU [2005-06-15 17:03:54 +0000 UTC]

try beating around the bush a bit more...its so...blunt, and the rhymes seem coached in some way. The emotion is definately there, I just think it needs some filler in there. :0)

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Behindmyblueeyes [2005-05-14 12:30:57 +0000 UTC]

nice...a bit sad tho

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vashplaya [2005-05-02 21:53:14 +0000 UTC]

Hmm, could be longer, but I like it when rhyme doesn't sound forced and such - nice touch. ^.^

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Shirubi [2005-05-02 01:33:41 +0000 UTC]

needs more to it but good job kenny

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