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Description
You say I wish you were here
like there's something left for those groping words to tackle
to the scratchy carpet, who's color is a wisp of cigarette smoke in a shattered memory-
in the living room,
like we used to.
But you're only speaking to a void
permanently the color of a bruise when it's fresh,
your own voice drifting back in a smoldering echo of ashes-
Nagging, Here, here, here.

And what you'll never realize is that
you have no one else in the world to blame for this-
No one but the person in the mirror smudged with shadows of black dye and eclipses of hair gel,
(The stuff you rub in when your fingers are stuffed stiff with shavings from the drumsticks),
The person who your eldest calls
father
Only because she doesn't know what else to call you
But who doesn't even believe herself when her lips sample the label for the hundredth, thousandth, millionth time and try to figure out just how it tastes,
if she wants to risk suffocating by trying to suck it down.

She doesn't believe you.

Not for one moment
Not for one second,
Not for one fraction of the squandered time you never thought it was worthwhile to give her

Description
You say I wish you were here
like there's something left for those groping words to tackle
to the scratchy carpet, who's color is a wisp of cigarette smoke in a shattered memory-
in the living room,
like we used to.
But you're only speaking to a void
permanently the color of a bruise when it's fresh,
your own voice drifting back in a smoldering echo of ashes-
Nagging, Here, here, here.

And what you'll never realize is that
you have no one else in the world to blame for this-
No one but the person in the mirror smudged with shadows of black dye and eclipses of hair gel,
(The stuff you rub in when your fingers are stuffed stiff with shavings from the drumsticks),
The person who your eldest calls
father
Only because she doesn't know what else to call you
But who doesn't even believe herself when her lips sample the label for the hundredth, thousandth, millionth time and try to figure out just how it tastes,
if she wants to risk suffocating by trying to suck it down.

She doesn't believe you.

Not for one moment
Not for one second,
Not for one fraction of the squandered time you never thought it was worthwhile to give her