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theDougArthur β X-Men sample pg5
Published: 2012-02-01 01:10:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 1731; Favourites: 37; Downloads: 46
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Please comment and tell me what you think. I'm trying to get some practice doing sequentials. Here's my rendition of a sample script of the X-Men. I enjoy feedback as long as it's constructive.pencils on bristol
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Comments: 37
Great piece. Could I ink this for you? Also I would love to see colors applied too.
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Sure. I'd love to see some inks on it. I started inking it at one point, but never got very far. I'd like to see colors on all of my work some day. Lol
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Okeydoke. I'll give it a shot.
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Oh...forgot. Just make sure to cite the source 
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I planned on it. I'm not gonna steal your thunder. Lol.
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Also I'm not sure how to edit comments, so commenting again to add that the rest of this looks awesome and if it were inks I'd be all over coloring this, regardless.
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First of all, thank you very much for your comments and compliments (and maybe I can get this inked because I'd love to see your colors on it). Secondly, would you just recommend from a colorist's POV that I give her arm, hair, etc. a simple rim or more of core shadowing? Frankly I don't have a lot of experience yet and the more I can learn the better.
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You're welcome, and I'd love to!
As to the shading... well if you drop the full on black shadows, you're going to lose the drama that you were going for when you originally penciled it. I'm not sure that's something you want to do - the panel doesn't read horribly, it DOES read as some really dramatic lighting.
I would say put in some rim lighting that's shaped well to the forms it's wrapping around and call it a day. Mind you though, I am a colorist and not a penciler, so I am by no means an expert on how you guys do your job. It's just an observation from someone who'd have to read the inks later and then apply a lighting solution.
Good luck with this and I honestly hope to see more pencils from you soon. Diana's right, your storytelling is very dynamic and I want you to go far.
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thank you so much for the help and the comments! I hope i can keep improving and hopefully get somewhere with it
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Thanks for the watch, too! *reciprocates*
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and thank you as well
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As far as panel 3 goes, it's not a bad idea, the way you've got the shadows put in there.
But from my perspective, coloring that would be easier if you erased out some of the shade to include rim lighting - where her powers, which are obviously going to be a light source, are hitting her shoulders and etc.
Also bear in mind that during the day light bounces all over and there are two light sources - the sun, which the car is obviously blocking, but also the sky, which the car is not blocking - behind the car, behind the car's back tire, and behind her left arm, all of that would be rimmed in cast light from the sky bouncing blue light around. So you'd want a bit of a rim around these where there are no inks, if only a small one.
Just an observation - I personally dislike going in to edit in the rim lighting myself if it's not present in the inks to begin with. I'd much rather the light be there from the start.
Take that or leave that as you see fit.
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Awesome use of perspective, you pulled off a few angles I don't know many would even TRY to attempt!
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thank you! that's a really great compliment
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Its the truth! I see a lot of pencilers whose portfolio reviews include the editors noting that their storytelling isn't dynamic enough, and that they need to use more perpective to keep the page from looking static. You're miles ahead of them there
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Well that's good to hear! I know a lot of things I need to work on, but if you have the chance, I'd love to hear any advice or critiques. (thanks for your input already)
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You can always drop me an email, or find me on Facebook and we can talk some more about art 
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Gorgeous work, nice panels, like the figures and the flow of the action. Very nice!
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thank you very much!
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I love the changes in POV here, especially panels 1 and 4.
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thanks! I'm trying to get better at different angled shots to make it more interesting. panel 4 was especially fun once I got going.
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the page looks great.
buuuuuuut.
that truck in the first panel is out of perspective in a bad way. given the height that the flying superhero is, dragging a child that is being lifted above a car, and a camera looking down on all of that, means that the camera's "eye level" should be high enough to incorporate all that action...i.e. the camera should be above the top edge of the trailer of a truck no matter how far away it is.
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Really tight... great forms and angles. Well done
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thanks
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Nice work. Good style. Maybe a little loose for my taste but I do like the feel and I think an inker would have fun with this! Keep up the good work!
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thanks! I hope some inker does have fun with it.
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I'm glad the kitty is still alive xD
It looks really great so far! I can't wait to see more
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Unfortunately the sample script only has one more page and it's kind of a cliff hanger. Maybe I'll just add a 7th page and have the villains internally combust. the end.
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I like the combustion idea. It's a true thing anyway...I don't care what people say.
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Great work! Rogue looks just like she should. I dunno bout that shadow issue. I actually think it'll work fine if the coloring (specifically lighting effects) are done right. There's clearly a light of flashy light and stuff going down, and think heavy shadows in the midst would emphasize that.
PS. Love a good Cyke eye-beam shot!
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Yeah, I went with the older Rogue costume. Even though it's dated, it still beats the skirt off the new costume, literally.
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I think it looks really nice. The only thing I don't like is all the heavy shadows in the third panel.
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yeah...I really just wanted to try the light source from a different angle since there's not much hard drama in the script. I may or may not edit that. thanks for the feedback!
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It just looks a bit overplayed. Especially on the face. :3 But it's still a cool panel. Just them shadowwws.
No problem!
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