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Dear Me,

It's Christmas in my time. My nineteenth Christmas, in fact. And, believe me, it's not the same as it used to be.

Do you remember that warm feeling? I bet you do, you're living it. In this house, it's so different now. New floors have been put down, we have a new kitchen, you finally have your own room in the basement, and your parents are no longer married.

The greatest fear you have housed inside of you for so long finally came true right after Christmas break in eighth grade. It will be something you won't soon forget because your heart broke so badly you needed counseling for about two years before realizing the truth behind the divorce. Now your parents seem to hold some kind of animosity towards one another and you are feeling lied to and put in the middle of their petty fight. Let's just say right now your relationship with your parents is in a place you hoped it wouldn't be especially when you're eighteen.

Christmas has lost some of that warmth that has come with it. Dad overplays the sentiment of Christmas now, making the feeling less genuine. Everything has to be fancy, modern, or overplayed like some staged photograph of a happy family. Needless to say, you don't like it that much. And your Dad-- god love him-- doesn't seem to understand what Christmas really means.

Your mom is now to busy to acknowledge Christmas sometimes. She gives you money to spend on your own Christmas presents rather than buying you just one present from the heart. You don't mind, but you don't like how she seems to have forgotten the truth behind Christmas either.

Today, you don't look towards presents for happiness. In fact, now that you look back at it, you never seem to remember Christmas day all that much especially when it comes to the presents. You just remember the times before and after Christmas and the things you did after opening presents on Christmas day. Most of all, you remember its music.

Remember when they used to play Christmas music practically the day after Thanksgiving? So many people say they're sick of Christmas music just a week afterwards. But not you. You enjoyed every single minute of hearing the Trans-Siberian Orchestra rocking out the Carol of the Bells or Berl Ives telling you, by golly, have a holly, jolly Christmas.

Singing at the Christmas Eve Children's Mass is your tradition every single year; Stille Nacht is still one of your favorites as is O Holy Night (which I will be singing this year as a prelude to the mass).

You almost didn't get to do the mass this year, though, because of your mom and your job at the bowling alley. She probably won't be at many of these masses anymore but don't be discouraged. Even if he isn't sincere about it in his heart, Dad will be there. As will grandma and grandpa and Brooke and Michael.

Mom's new attitude is nothing new. So many people seem to forget what Christmas means and replacing it with a new meaning: a holiday of mandatory family time where, as compensation for lost work or play time and for putting up the decorations this year, you get presents some of which are so expensive the person who got them for you might as well have sold their kidney.

Christmas means everything to you, though, doesn't it, Heather? The Plaza lights, sitting in Barnes and Noble for hours just looking through book after book before venturing out into the cold again and seeing the lights and trying to find a place to eat (the Plaza is still packed around Christmas time, just so you know). And the Christmas tree... I still love all the ornaments on that damn tree. As I wrote this to you, I sat in the living room which now feels so warm and familiar in the prescence of the tree.

Now, babe, what I have to tell you next is very important. No matter how bleak things may seem in the future, no matter how detached your family becomes from one another, no matter how anyone feels about it, always keep Christmas in your heart. No one, not even your parents, can take this away from you.

Remember it as the day Christ was born and the day where you were allowed to be happy. Always remember to spread that happiness; wishing happy holidays to your teachers, giving the poor man on the street some of the loose change in your pocket, giving someone a present because you love them.

My sweet young girl, pray for everyone on Earth during Christmas and, when you sing at church during the Children's Mass, sing to Chirst as a birthday present. Let His love continue to fill your heart and continue on sharing that love as the perpetual Christmas present. What I ask of you especially, my dear, is to give that love to your mother and father even in the most difficult of times when you may find it hard to love them. They are lost, dear, and more than ever they need your love as well as God's unending gift of love to find their way back.

Until then, my dear, I will see you in the mirror as well as in all of my memories of Christmases gone by. I wish you so much love.

Yours Always,
Heather Jochens (your future self)

P.S. There is, indeed, a Santa Clause.

:) (Smile) — Description
Dear Me,

It's Christmas in my time. My nineteenth Christmas, in fact. And, believe me, it's not the same as it used to be.

Do you remember that warm feeling? I bet you do, you're living it. In this house, it's so different now. New floors have been put down, we have a new kitchen, you finally have your own room in the basement, and your parents are no longer married.

The greatest fear you have housed inside of you for so long finally came true right after Christmas break in eighth grade. It will be something you won't soon forget because your heart broke so badly you needed counseling for about two years before realizing the truth behind the divorce. Now your parents seem to hold some kind of animosity towards one another and you are feeling lied to and put in the middle of their petty fight. Let's just say right now your relationship with your parents is in a place you hoped it wouldn't be especially when you're eighteen.

Christmas has lost some of that warmth that has come with it. Dad overplays the sentiment of Christmas now, making the feeling less genuine. Everything has to be fancy, modern, or overplayed like some staged photograph of a happy family. Needless to say, you don't like it that much. And your Dad-- god love him-- doesn't seem to understand what Christmas really means.

Your mom is now to busy to acknowledge Christmas sometimes. She gives you money to spend on your own Christmas presents rather than buying you just one present from the heart. You don't mind, but you don't like how she seems to have forgotten the truth behind Christmas either.

Today, you don't look towards presents for happiness. In fact, now that you look back at it, you never seem to remember Christmas day all that much especially when it comes to the presents. You just remember the times before and after Christmas and the things you did after opening presents on Christmas day. Most of all, you remember its music.

Remember when they used to play Christmas music practically the day after Thanksgiving? So many people say they're sick of Christmas music just a week afterwards. But not you. You enjoyed every single minute of hearing the Trans-Siberian Orchestra rocking out the Carol of the Bells or Berl Ives telling you, by golly, have a holly, jolly Christmas.

Singing at the Christmas Eve Children's Mass is your tradition every single year; Stille Nacht is still one of your favorites as is O Holy Night (which I will be singing this year as a prelude to the mass).

You almost didn't get to do the mass this year, though, because of your mom and your job at the bowling alley. She probably won't be at many of these masses anymore but don't be discouraged. Even if he isn't sincere about it in his heart, Dad will be there. As will grandma and grandpa and Brooke and Michael.

Mom's new attitude is nothing new. So many people seem to forget what Christmas means and replacing it with a new meaning: a holiday of mandatory family time where, as compensation for lost work or play time and for putting up the decorations this year, you get presents some of which are so expensive the person who got them for you might as well have sold their kidney.

Christmas means everything to you, though, doesn't it, Heather? The Plaza lights, sitting in Barnes and Noble for hours just looking through book after book before venturing out into the cold again and seeing the lights and trying to find a place to eat (the Plaza is still packed around Christmas time, just so you know). And the Christmas tree... I still love all the ornaments on that damn tree. As I wrote this to you, I sat in the living room which now feels so warm and familiar in the prescence of the tree.

Now, babe, what I have to tell you next is very important. No matter how bleak things may seem in the future, no matter how detached your family becomes from one another, no matter how anyone feels about it, always keep Christmas in your heart. No one, not even your parents, can take this away from you.

Remember it as the day Christ was born and the day where you were allowed to be happy. Always remember to spread that happiness; wishing happy holidays to your teachers, giving the poor man on the street some of the loose change in your pocket, giving someone a present because you love them.

My sweet young girl, pray for everyone on Earth during Christmas and, when you sing at church during the Children's Mass, sing to Chirst as a birthday present. Let His love continue to fill your heart and continue on sharing that love as the perpetual Christmas present. What I ask of you especially, my dear, is to give that love to your mother and father even in the most difficult of times when you may find it hard to love them. They are lost, dear, and more than ever they need your love as well as God's unending gift of love to find their way back.

Until then, my dear, I will see you in the mirror as well as in all of my memories of Christmases gone by. I wish you so much love.

Yours Always,
Heather Jochens (your future self)

P.S. There is, indeed, a Santa Clause.