Comments: 46
alk27alk27 [2023-09-12 20:12:40 +0000 UTC]
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msfeedee [2023-08-20 21:16:30 +0000 UTC]
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pigplayer2 [2023-07-29 20:09:20 +0000 UTC]
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pigplayer2 [2023-07-29 20:06:27 +0000 UTC]
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GayPlatipuss [2017-08-15 02:36:54 +0000 UTC]
Ewg 3/4 eggs
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ArCeeeCrA [2016-01-18 16:32:13 +0000 UTC]
Your mother must be proud.
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Forcedlactationlover [2012-08-17 22:14:19 +0000 UTC]
I enjoyed the story, and note that there is an alternative to popping with a swelling body and breasts, one can find a way to milk those oversized and swollen boobs, relieving at least some of the pressure. (Kinda fits with my moniker [surprise!].) I also liked the quiet eroticism that managed to never be crude. (Yes, that's a split infinitive. I always thought that that particular prohibition was stupid. It disallows a useful form of emphasis.) Good job!
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
hmelonowski72 [2011-09-08 10:23:59 +0000 UTC]
Love this story and associated pic. You are very talented. Keep up the good work!!!
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
candycorrupted [2011-06-26 10:56:34 +0000 UTC]
This was wonderful! Very erotic without being crude. Really enjoyed it. ♥♥
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Darien-Shields [2011-03-31 11:24:45 +0000 UTC]
Nice little story, although usually straight inflation isn't my thing, it's very well written and I do like the whole milk/nursing angle.
I might dwell a little on negative points here, but don't let me bother you like that- I really did like the story, I just tend to have more to say about bad points than good.
The biggest single thing that gets me is the middle dream, in the College. This seems kind of out of place to me. While the first one in the church and the last one in the orphanage sort of fit together with the gothic history of the house- they both seem like possible past events for the ghosts- the middle one seems to be specifically about Emily's time in College, and... I don't know, it just doesn't seem to fit. While there's an air of distant past about the other two (maybe post World War II, in the shattered remains of ancient Europe?) the College one just seems to be, well, in College. Very close to the present day. Maybe it's just me, but it seems out of place.
The dialogue at the end is a little weak too. You write the narration and description very well, but the redhead's line at the end seems to spoil it a bit- “Um, yeah, you did… Wait… No, you’re right… I forgot… heh… There were no mirrors here…”- instead of her coming off as powerful and mysterious as she did before she seems a little hesitant or ditzy. It spoils the impression that comes before. It's just a little thing, but it makes a difference.
Characterization seems a little on the light side, but it's a short story and there are a few nice titbits thrown in there that I like- her old place being knocked down possibly by her ex, stuff like that. I'd say it strikes a good balance between out and out pr0n and plot/characterization. I can't stand the absolutely mindless things some people churn out.
So, overall, good.
I am a little fuzzy, though. What was the Matron up to? Dissecting them to harvest... something?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Neoninja2 [2010-12-28 02:58:53 +0000 UTC]
Who was the model?
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cclarso [2010-10-07 23:20:42 +0000 UTC]
Disgusting. You are all filthy homosexuals.
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JustARandomBoi In reply to cclarso [2020-12-08 22:06:07 +0000 UTC]
DeviantArt is full of them. If you can't stand the gay then either uninstall this app or avoid certain searches. These are the only options.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
TheSuitedMan In reply to cclarso [2015-11-12 06:30:56 +0000 UTC]
Welcome to deviantart. Here, you are currently seen as the disgusting one.
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sileh [2010-06-27 17:28:20 +0000 UTC]
very hot love it
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Mirsad77 [2010-06-04 15:36:47 +0000 UTC]
nice!
what did you do? just edit the picture? or did you also draw something to it?
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thepencilandpaperguy In reply to Mirsad77 [2010-07-22 14:36:30 +0000 UTC]
The story is realy the main part of the piece. The picture was sort of a visual.
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gub72000 [2010-05-04 12:14:48 +0000 UTC]
Brilliant as usual! I would dearly love to see more body inflation art from you good sir. The work you did for Kabooom was phenomenal. In fact, do those strips still exist somewhere?
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Bobsacamano [2010-04-09 06:04:45 +0000 UTC]
I quite enjoyed that. Your writing is quite superb. Keep it up.
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Canard-Pars [2010-04-02 02:38:11 +0000 UTC]
lol,can u do stories for those who didnt PASS?lol
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thepencilandpaperguy In reply to Canard-Pars [2010-05-03 01:43:05 +0000 UTC]
Not too sure I want to write a Pop. I have enough problems around here with people getting my stuff removed.
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The-Myster-Man [2009-12-08 19:24:14 +0000 UTC]
I enjoyed how it was all a dream. That one made me feel like it was a mystery to what will happen tomorrow night for Emily.
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zededd [2009-10-03 23:51:45 +0000 UTC]
what a detailed and fantastic story! well written i must say! love the concepts and style
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jorrus [2009-06-11 13:34:57 +0000 UTC]
Quite a nice read!
Well punctuated, and thought out.
I especially enjoy the way you convey the dream-like quality and the transformation parallels between the dream and reality.
Its certainly a good read. I would be interested to read more stories from you. It would be interesting to see how this new tenant finds living in the house!
Outstandingly great job, and exceptional picture! XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
beefmclargehuge [2009-06-01 04:16:18 +0000 UTC]
i would just like to add that turgid is probably the least erotic word in the entire english language
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bang33 [2009-05-16 21:12:06 +0000 UTC]
best.. story... ever..
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Canard-Pars [2009-05-08 23:15:59 +0000 UTC]
wow i realllly loved this...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
BigAreolas [2009-05-08 14:55:21 +0000 UTC]
nice story & cute picture
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Mosherness2 [2009-05-08 01:39:10 +0000 UTC]
Well..let's see....Overall it's not a bad story, I guess, but there's a few grammatical errors here and there you might want to take a second pass through to find. Things like "so inflating so" and whatnot.
As for the story itself, I noticed one glaring continuity error right off the bat, being that if the house was supposedly so cheap that Emily could afford it, where does she get the money to hire an architect and inspector to give it a once-over? Not to mention the whole "Oh, apparently-ex-girlfriend-building-developer is steamrolling my apartment complex while this perfect house shows up on the market with NO other bids" is just WAY too Deus Ex Machina for plausible suspension of disbelief.
This story wants to be something, but all I really saw was a poorly-hatched attempt at a backstory to dive right into the fap-fest of material. Not to mention, from an editing standpoint, it could have done with more than extra spacing to distinguish the 'real' from the 'dreaming'. Italics or the like would have done wonders, and I also highly recommend working on your descriptions, as sports-spheres and maternal shapes can only be referenced once..MAYBE twice in a good story before it becomes incredibly bland and repetitive.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thepencilandpaperguy In reply to Mosherness2 [2009-05-08 04:04:03 +0000 UTC]
Hmm... I think that you may be right about the italics thing, but when I tried it last, dA doesn't seem to support it in window. Or maybe I'm just doing it wrong. I'm not sure.
I agree that The real world and dream sequence seconds need better separation.
As far as architects and engineers go, she doesn't hire them to actually do anything to the place, just inspect it. Last time I did that it was about $300 each for that.
The DEM this was because I realized after the fact that I hadn't really spelled out that she was not hetero early on, which some people complained in the first version seemed like a continuity error. As far as the house being perfect goes, you might re read it, as the character questions that it seems awfully nice for being so cheap, and hires people to look at it worried she might be getting ripped off somehow.
I'll look into the description thing, but there are only so many ways to describe a distending spheroid. I guess it's time to break out the Thesaurus...
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Uniquename02 [2009-05-08 01:34:51 +0000 UTC]
Aww. I was hoping for a pop xD
Beautiful story, by the way.
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
thepencilandpaperguy In reply to Uniquename02 [2009-05-08 04:05:17 +0000 UTC]
Eh... people keep asking about that, and I have a non-popping, preferably non-hurting (though this story skirts that at times for sake of realism) policy.
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thepencilandpaperguy In reply to Uniquename02 [2009-05-09 01:09:32 +0000 UTC]
Eh. That was exparimental, at least as far as the Ewa Sonnet sequence goes. I wanted to see if it COULD be done...
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hajile [2009-05-08 01:28:04 +0000 UTC]
It was unique in some ways, I believe, but the prolonged dream and its various segments seemed disjointed, even though it was supposed to be a little surreal. After all that, I still have to wonder if she's woken up. The ending is all right, though, in that it seems vaguely horrific.
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thepencilandpaperguy In reply to hajile [2009-05-08 04:07:17 +0000 UTC]
Hmm... re-reading it, you may be right, there needs to be better transition. I'll go over it in the morning.
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anonymousmexican [2009-05-07 18:24:50 +0000 UTC]
Big tits are indeed the best of all tits.
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