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TheRealFanmaster — Fandom Express Episode 9
#blueguy #convention #craziness #fandom #fanmaster #fandomexpress #madelinerichards
Published: 2019-06-06 14:39:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 609; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Fandom Express Episode 9
CUT: FANMASTER AND BLUE GUY’S ROOM
The Fanmaster and Blue Guy are both lying down.
Fanmaster: Uggggggh, I’m so bored.
Blue Guy: Yousa arconoda sofari magiocangal woantra, aisn yousha giaed woalinda, asrian faosnawila fadino, aduway BORA!?!?!?!?!? (You are conductor of a magic galaxy-hopping train, you have a giant weapon collection, an army of anthromorphic fandoms, and you’re BORED?!?!?!?!)
Fanmaster: Hedonic treadmill my friend.
Blue Guy just stares unimpressed
Fanmaster: Well whatever we gotta do something, hmmmm maybe this magazine which is just laying around can give me ideas.
The Fanmaster flips through the magazine and finds an article that grabs him.
FANMASTER CON!!!! The Only Convention all about the One and Only Fanmaster! On Superdate 291.812.481 at the Planet Swaltorp. Townsend, get here NOW.
Fanmaster: Holy Shit I have a CONVENTION!?!?!?! Let’s see, 291.812.481 is 6 days away, count the distance, divide by theory of relativity and … TO SWALTORP!!!!!
CUT: OUTSIDE
The Fandom Express goes into hyperdrive.
CUT: INSIDE
The Fanmaster and Blue are seen trying to handle the heavy forces of the high speeds.
Fanmaster: Aaaaaaaaaaah, AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
CUT: OUTSIDE
The Fandom Express is surrounded by a vortex
CUT: INSIDE
Fanmaster: What have I done!! M-m-m-m-m-m-my brrrrrainnnsssss … arrrre g-g-g-goingggg into …. my feeeeet!!!
CUT: OUTSIDE
The Vortex leads to an explosion. Meanwhile another ship is passing by when the explosion occurs.
CUT: INSIDE SPACESHIP
The two men inside the spaceship stare in disbelief.
Man 1: What the hell was that?
Man 2: The Fandom Express
Man 1: They’ve gone plaid!
CUT: FANDOM EXPRESS
Fanmaster: Weee’re gettititing there. Hit thththe brrrrakes now!!
Blue Guy: Argosa no shaaaiii, wendossssi moanfastayyy. (Are you sure, we’re moving fast.)
Fanmaster: Don’t qqquestion mee! Just do ittt!
Blue Guy Fisaaaa (Fiiiine)
Blue Guy pulls a lever.
CUT: OUTSIDE
The Fandom Express comes to a stop
CUT: INSIDE
Fanmaster: WHOAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
CUT: OUTSIDE
The Fanmaster hits the Fandom Express window.
CUT: INSIDE
Blue Guy: Yashiba? (You alright?)
Fanmaster: I’m fine. Let’s go meet the fans!!!
Blue Guy: Stahf, Wenas ontio planuo. (But, we’re on the wrong planet.)
Fanmaster: DAMN IT!!!!
CUT: OUTSIDE CONVENTION
The Fandom Express is outside the convention hall. The guys begin to walk out of the train and a scene erupts.
Fans: Hey is that the ACTUAL Fanmaster?
Fanmaster: Hey there guys, you talking about me?
One superfan dressed in Fanmaster cosplay comes running out.
Superfan: OH MY GOD IT’S THE REAL FANMASTER!!!!!!! TOWNSEND I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!!
Fanmaster: Not now. Hey can anyone direct me to the entrance?
CUT: CONVENTION ENTRANCE
Fanmaster: OK Blue Guy, do a head count, I’m gonna go talk to the guard.
The Fanmaster walks up to the guard.
Guard: Sorry Sir before you can walk in, we’re going to need to your pass.
Fanmaster: Pass? Dude I’m the Fanmaster. This is my convention
Guard: Your cosplay does look good and we understand you want to get in, but we really need to see your pass.
Fanmaster: No I mean I’m the ACTUAL Fanmaster. The Fandom Express is parked outside I can show you now!!
Guard: I know you have. But I still need your ticket.
Fanmaster: And I would like to talk to the manager.
Guard: Look are you going to actually pay or make our lives harder?
Blue Guy: Oshiya Famasta, weuia gontaien … oh waing uher (OK Fanmaster, we’ve got everyon … oh what’s up here?)
Guard: Wait …… is that …… Blue Guy?
Fanmaster: The one and only.
Guard: Please excuse me Mr. Fanmaster Sir. Please enter.
Fanmaster: Thank you.
The posse all enter.
Maddie: How did he do that? Blue Guy just walked to him and suddenly he let us in!!
Madoka Magica: Blue Guy’s a Schlestinian, and no Schlestinian outfit can truly look like the real deal. Blue Guy was a dead giveaway.
Maddie: But Blue Guy can’t be the only one, right?
Madoka Magica: I guess the guard didn’t think of that.
Maddie: What an idiot.
Madoka Magica: Indeed
CUT: BEHIND THE SCENES
The gang all enters the press room. A man in a Red Fedora, black mustache, replica Fanmaster jacket, and black jumpsuit Dukey Jones comes out.
Dukey: I don’t believe it, you actually came.
Fanmaster: How could I resist.
Dukey: And Blue Guy, Homestuck, Undertale, Sonic, and oh my who are these two fine lovely ladies?
Fanmaster: Huh? Oh, that’s Maddie and that’s Rio.
Rio: Hey
Dukey: Oh that’s just wonderful! The rumors were true!
Fanmaster: Rumors, what rumors?
Dukey: You actually do finally have a girlfriend!
Maddie: Wait, what? Oh nonononono, he’s great and all but we are not dating.
Dukey: Oh how charming, she’s flustered.
Fanmaster: Actually Dukey, she’s really not my girlfriend.
Dukey: Wait really?
Fanmaster: Nope Mr. I’m named after the main rival to North Carolina
Maddie: Oh great, I get invited on the Fandom Express and suddenly they think he’s my boyfriend?
Dukey: You should’ve been around when people thought Fanmaster was gay for Blue Guy.
Maddie: What?
Fanmaster: You say you’re bisexual, and everyone automatically assumes you’re gay. And the same people claim to be pro LGBT!
Dukey: Enough of that, let me get something for you guys.
Dukey gets a bunch of scripts out and hands them to the crew.
Dukey: Please read this.
The gang all begin to read the scripts and begin to cringe.
Fanmaster: Do you seriously believe that we are this stupid?
Dukey: What?
Fanmaster: I know what you want me to do! You want us to act this out for you!! We’re not doing it!
Dukey: Oh, you’re doing it.
Fanmaster: We are not!! We have dignity and we’re not going to sacrifice it!
Dukey: I’ll give you the Fanmaster shaped chocolate fountain if you do it.
Fanmaster: Everyone memorize your lines!
CUT: CONVENTION HALL
Maddie and Rio are both walking through the convention hall.
Maddie: So, what do you think of the convention?
Rio: It’s nice.
Maddie: I love it. The Fanmaster is such a great guy, he deserves such treatment.
Rio: I guess you’re right.
Loudspeaker: Attention everyone, we have the Fanmaster’s girlfriend Maddie and her new friend Rio in the Larson Hall right now!
A group of fans begin to surround and ask questions.
Maddie: Well this is nice.
A gunshot is heard from around the crowd, and everyone turns around. Two men in black clothing THE LOW BULLETS appear
Low Bullet #1: Alright everyone, we are the low bullets.
Low Bullet #2: Nobody move! Which one of you is Madeline Richards!
The majority of the con-goers point to Maddie. And the two Low Bullets come over to her.
Maddie: Someone help! Please!
A lot of people try to go after them but the two point guns at the people and everyone scrambles.
Rio: Oh no, I better warn the Fanmaster.
CUT: HALLWAY
As everyone is panicking in the confusion, the Low Bullets take Maddie with them in a room labeled EMPLOYEE ACCESS ONLY. They then put her down.
Low Bullet 1: OK Maddie, don’t worry we’re just actors
Maddie: Oh good, it’s part of the story.
Low Bullet 2: Alright, we got some time to spare before we’re needed next. Want to go look at some doujins?
Maddie: Do I?
CUT: HALLS
Everyone begins to panic when Dukey comes out and fires a Super Scrope creating a fake explosion sound. Everyone turns around.
Dukey: OK OK everyone!!! Calm down!!!! I know this seems bad but let me assure you, everything is fine!!! And I know this because the one and only Fanmaster is
here to save the day!!!
The Fanmaster comes out and everyone cheers loudly.
Fanmaster: Yep that’s right! It’s me!!!! And we places to do and things to be. Come on Blue Guy, let’s go!!!!!!
The Fanmaster and Blue Guy run away.
Dukey: All right everyone! Let’s move to one spot! The Low Bullets will not find us and the Fanmaster will save us!
CUT: BACKSTAGE
Fanmaster: OK, let’s go over it all. To leader I need to see, all your lady are belong to me, did you even do one grammar check of this script Dukey?
Dukey: No.
Fanmaster: You owe me so much. Alright I’m going out.
The Fanmaster walks out to the people.
Fanmaster: All right everybody. I just want to let you know that I am off to save the day! Now, who’s behind this! Show yourself!!
The screen behind him begins to flicker and display an image. The Leader of the Low Bullets JOEY appears on screen.
Joey: Hahahahaha!!!!! It is I, dear Fanmaster. I kidnapped your precious Madeline.
Fanmaster: Where is she!?!?!!
Joey: You’ll never find her! She’s in my complex maze of boss battles and traps. They are not just hard, they are Mega Man hard. The difficulty of a NES platformer with the confusion of a Zelda dungeon mean you will be trapped in an infinite cycle of …
Fanmaster: Found her!
Joey: What?
Another camera featuring the Fanmaster appears with Maddie in arms.
Fanmaster: Oh and by the way in the same timeframe, Blue Guy has just reprogrammed your weapons and is about to fire them right now.
Joey turns to see Blue Guy twiddling cables smugly
Joey: Nani?
A big explosion comes out, and the camera feed cuts. The crowd cheers in response.
Fanmaster: And THAT’S how it’s done.
Maddie: Thank you Fanmaster, you saved me!
Fanmaster: Of course I’d save you my dear.
Maddie: Man, I don’t know what I can do to repay you.
Fanmaster: Well, there is one thing.
Maddie: Oh, you.
The two kiss with another cheer from the crowd.
CUT: BACKSTAGE
Dukey: Well that was a success.
Dukey walks out to everyone.
Dukey: Hello everyone, my name is Dukarune Ilyich Busonissamin. I am the founder of Fanmaster Con and I hope you enjoyed the entertainment.
The crowd looks absolutely bewildered.
Crowdgoer: Entertainment?
Dukey: Yep! What you just saw was an interactive experience with the real Fanmaster written by yours truly!
The crowd begins to start to look confused.
Crowdgoer: So what you’re saying is that you made us think that the place was under attack and that an innocent was kidnapped as part of some sick little stunt!?!?!?!
Dukey: Now now, let’s not overexaggerate things.
Crowdgoer: Yeah, this is garbage. I want a refund!
Crowd: Refund! Refund! Refund!
Dukey: Uh, well, eeh, oh, ahh, LOOK IT’S A FANMASTER BALLOON!!
The crowd turns around but as they look, they see Dukey has left the stage.
Crowdgoer: GET HIM!!!
CUT: BACKSTAGE
Dukey is running towards the Fanmaster.
Dukey: The crowd is coming after me …. And I think they’re mad.
Fanmaster: I told you this was a bad idea. But come on guys. Let’s move.
The crew all begins to run.
CUT: FANDOM EXPRESS INTERIOR
The gang is all inside and enjoying themselves.
Doctor Who: Man, that was rush.
Hetalia: And on top of that, we aren’t the ones getting yelled at this time.
Fanmaster: Oh jeez, that was something.
CUT: MADDIE AND RIO’S ROOM
Rio: Hey Maddie?
Maddie: Yeah?
Rio: What was kissing the Fanmaster like?
Maddie: Wha-ja-what do you mean?
Rio: I mean did it feel nice?
Maddie: Well I mean, it wasn’t the worst, and he’s much nicer than some men I’ve met in the past but I mean … it’s not like he’s THAT special.
Rio: Oh, I see what it is.
Maddie: Huh?
Rio: You’re in love with the Fanmaster
Maddie: I AM NOT!!!!!
