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thesweatersong — Victim To You
Published: 2007-05-03 23:13:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 36; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description These are worthless tears
That I have shed
You make me fear
Whatever comes next

You prey on me
You've made me a victim
I'm where you want me to be
Drowning in misery

You've made a girl cry
Does it make you proud?
Knowing you are why
And the cause of my pain

Does it make you strong?
To make me weak?
I've suffered too long
From your cruelty
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Comments: 1

bownsingKottyncloudc [2007-05-11 00:52:56 +0000 UTC]

it doesn't feel like it needs help. it feels like you wrote it in a passion, so it's perfact. your stanzas sound very good, it has a nice energy flow. if you want you can work on playing with the words and placements, maybe trying to figure neat ways to make me feel your feelings. ^_^ is that good enough criticism?

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