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theunbeingdead — Please
Published: 2007-08-22 02:05:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 202; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 0
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Description 1.

Open parenthesis
There is a definite difference in the consistency of - -
as compared to, never mind the sand, I’m dreaming!
Close parenthesis

With a violent bow,
the planks leave the stage, a skeleton with no
curtains or ovation,
somewhere in the stands there is still a heart beat.
Or, at lease we like to think so.

Open quotes
Every time I turn around I find that there are new ideals - -
what happened to faithlessness?
Close quotes open mouth

Insert nickels
and untie me so we can make our getaway.

Gag on my reflection that bounces off windshields
as we cruise the highways at 120.
We are slugs leaving a trail of slime.
We are criminals leaving no trace at all.

Open parenthesis
There is something in the air tonight,
I think someone died here.
_________________________________________________________________
2.

There is - he said - a star
comma
a real skeleton
period

he said that, too.

There isn’t - he said - however
comma
a real sun
period

that he did not whisper.

It seemed a travesty that he did not smile.

Desperate hanger, hollow-
      cheek’d thing.
His bones are my flagpole,
and I raise you like a banner
exclamation - -

There is - he said - a moment
hyphen
a single moment

when my heart beats only for you.

He did not say that.

There are - he said - however
comma
a thousand more that it doesn’t.

And perhaps a dozen that it
       does not beat at all

period
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Comments: 10

rikochan93 [2008-06-28 11:00:38 +0000 UTC]

i do believe i've just been made a huge fan of yours.

this is beautiful. not in a silly, romantic way, but it is truly beautiful, very unique and expressive. i plan on checking out more of your work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

theunbeingdead In reply to rikochan93 [2008-07-07 20:45:56 +0000 UTC]

ah, i am in desperate need of huge fans.

thank you, kind one.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

arctoa [2007-11-28 18:37:16 +0000 UTC]

Very interesting work. I generally appreciate pieces that a little out of the ordinary, and this is definitely original, at least in the delivery and style. Good work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

theunbeingdead In reply to arctoa [2007-11-28 20:58:28 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

very much.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheCoffeeAddict [2007-11-18 17:51:19 +0000 UTC]

I really love the "punctuation" and structure. The fragments between stanzas add so much.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

theunbeingdead In reply to TheCoffeeAddict [2007-11-18 19:06:34 +0000 UTC]

thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KawaiiJillian [2007-10-27 12:24:04 +0000 UTC]

love the way you use "punctuation". it's really quite clever, and, well, it just sounds good. i think our brains actually read it like that, anyhow.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

theunbeingdead In reply to KawaiiJillian [2007-10-27 16:06:57 +0000 UTC]

oh! how i adore being dubbed clever.
thank you

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

friskyryski [2007-10-23 23:14:29 +0000 UTC]

I love the end of this... about a single moment "when my heart beats only for you" but there being a thousand more that don't. Great stuff.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

theunbeingdead In reply to friskyryski [2007-10-23 23:19:45 +0000 UTC]

much thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0