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ThomasInTheClouds β€” Cinder-eyed Cinderella
Published: 2013-08-16 02:48:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 359; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 0
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Description I saw her ignite at the masquerade.
At the foot where sprung a spiral stair,
I was kerosene drenched and unafraid.

Her delicate descent was a cascadeβ€”
Waterfall of ashen dress and auburn hair.
I saw her ignite at the masquerade.

Strawberry-speckled skin as she swayed
Lit the room. While she was burning through air,
I was kerosene drenched and unafraid.

Scent of cinnamon hovered like a handmaid.
My mirrored self encapsulated in her glare,
I saw her ignite at the masquerade.

Her approach and volcano-heated hush that laid
Behind her breath carried me to place where
I was kerosene drenched and unafraid.

Lured by lucid lips, I tiptoed past brocade
Curtains with her. We were not flicker but flare.
I saw her ignite at the masquerade:
I was kerosene drenched in unafraid.
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Comments: 9

SilverInkblot [2014-01-04 03:43:52 +0000 UTC]

Hi there! Just a note to let you know that I've featured this piece in my end-of-the-year journal feature

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ThomasInTheClouds In reply to SilverInkblot [2014-01-06 04:12:27 +0000 UTC]

I'm honored! Thank you

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ArinadaDragonspeaker [2013-08-18 23:56:38 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, I really like this! The repetition of "I saw her ignite at the masquerade...I was kerosene drenched and unafraid" gives it an excellent tone, and the imagery is excellent. (by the way, in the last line, is "in" supposed to be "and" or did you change it on purpose?)

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ThomasInTheClouds In reply to ArinadaDragonspeaker [2013-09-06 02:52:32 +0000 UTC]

Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it.

And thanks for catching the type-o! XD

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Caffeinated-Bunny [2013-08-17 02:25:49 +0000 UTC]

Lovely.

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ThomasInTheClouds In reply to Caffeinated-Bunny [2013-08-18 22:42:59 +0000 UTC]

Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Caffeinated-Bunny In reply to ThomasInTheClouds [2013-08-18 22:45:50 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome. Mind taking a peek around my gallery - in particular leaving a review on my Weisse Rose pieces. I know they're incomplete but...

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MermaidInDisguise [2013-08-16 04:01:13 +0000 UTC]

With everything I read of yours, I become a bigger fan. This was no exception.Β 


I adore the subtle use of alliteration in phrases like "volcano-heated hush" "lured by lucid lips" and "flicker but flare." It makes the poem more fun to read, in my opinion. Well done

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ThomasInTheClouds In reply to MermaidInDisguise [2013-08-16 21:35:04 +0000 UTC]

I love alliteration! I read a lot of Romantic and Victorian era literature, when writers were using it as often as possible. Unfortunately it started to die off at the end of the 19th century, but a few writers still love it.

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