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Description
I spend my days in complete silence and I spend my nights crying myself to sleep,
whoever said having loved and lost was better than not to have loved at all was a fool.
A fool who never felt the warm sensation of true love. The red flames of passion licked at my bare skin hungrily, the smell it gave off was intoxicating to the point that you could lose yourself in it's feverish whirlwind. The one need of all humans alike, one that should only be filled by one and one only. Love. All humans need this sacred emotion from the moment of birth to the cold gripping hand of death. So many fight for it, so many die for it, yet in all its demand true love is such a difficult item to come by. Love truly is blind, blind as a bat indeed. It gives you the run around in so many different ways, we exert ourselves in the strangest of ways to please the ones we love. Love makes us crazy by nature, its heat over energizes us to the point that its narcotic. You'd do anything for the one you love the most. Yes, there is such thing as true love, it is out there.

I know its out there because I have felt its spiteful sting. It's got me hooked on a man that's both half-way across my nation and in love with another. It feels so long ago that we met;I had no one then. Yet it was only about a year ago. Seems like he was a little boy then, just turned 15 still 14 inside, but I was young too.. Just turned 13 , still 12 on the inside.  Now were all grown up he's 16 almost 17, a 'grown ass man' as my mom would say. He dragged me through so much shit, gave me so many hopes. Now he's gone...I don't think I'll ever heal, but I want to share my experience with anyone who would care to read it. Useless is what he used to call me, I do believe its so. After he met someone within his reach he faded out of mine. Dropped mercilessly into the dark sea of loneliness I claw at the dark waters, pumping my legs  attempting to escape from it's fierce suffocating grasp. Understanding the circumstances I know my fate, I know it all too well as I give up the desperate struggle for air and let myself  fall down, down, down into the bottomless pit of  the lone sea. He says he still loves me and that he still cares, I know he does, but there is just no more room for me on his raft. I'm just a default choice at best, all his time and devotion goes to those higher up. I am a useless  pathogen in his life, and he just found my antidote.

I wish I could grow to hate him, or at least stop loving him, but I can't. Trapped like a mouse in a jar there is no escape and I am quickly running out of air. All the hopes and dreams he filled my head with gone, into a vacuum seldom ever to be seen again. My little mousy heart beats rapidly in my rib-cage exhausting my oxygen supply. In my last moments of consciousness I faintly see the outline of  a hand coming to free me. I awake with a horrifying jolt as liquid solitude erupts from my lungs past my lips . The ground under my hands is soft  and movable. I clench my fists into tight balls in the sand and let the tears I held back for so long free themselves of my eyes. I sobbed endlessly for what felt like an eternity until I finally felt the hand on my back, stroking back and forth. A comforting gesture that only made me feel worse about the entire thing. I look up to see my savior's face only to find that it wasn't one person, but five people. My best friends came all the way out here to help me get back on my feet I cried even harder now sadness for my lost love and pure joy for the wonderful friends I found on the way to my own demise. So deep the emotional stress cut through me like a knife, killing me.

Once dead I found  myself  in a cozy soft bed...A dream.. 'Yet so real.' I thought as I sat up in bed listening to the roar of thunder and  lightening outside. The quick bursts of light lit up my room from wall to wall reigniting an old flame that had been left out in the rain.
The sky is angry..
Why is it angry..?
The sky  is angry with how you are acting
What did I do?
You've given up. That's what you did.
Given...up? Such odd  unfamiliar words on my ears, these words angered something deep inside me. The flame sprang  up eager for life, to live once more. I gave up… The knowledge that I had given up burned my soul eating away the chest I had locked my heart away in. I am an Aries a fiery, stubborn, funny Aries. One that once upon a time ago made a pact to herself to never give up and never give in. What happened just then?  I took a deep breath and held it, I needed to think. I needed to think on everything, I'm so out of touch. As I meditated I recalled with vigor how I stayed by his side even when the going got tough. The tough don't get going they stand their ground and fight passionately for what they believe in. Feeling much calmer I opened my eyes with new resolve. Even if he didn't know if he saw me as his significant other  I still saw him that way. I had been here longer, I had been through more, who cares what that other girl can do? I am Tigerlily S. Tigeruss. The 'S' standing for Sumayyah meaning 'princess' and I'll be damned if this princess wasn't willing to fight for her throne! 7: 45 AM I'm about to miss the bus. I get dressed  just as Rancier Middle School Athletics department taught me to; fast. Just as I said that fateful track season ; I've come too far to give up now. I mentally cursed myself for not remembering those words earlier. I wrapped my red scarf fast around my neck and sprinted out the door. I suddenly could careless if  he wanted to or not but he would be mine! He would be mine alone and mine forever eventually if it was the last thing I ever did! I laughed inwardly at how evil it sounded even though its for his own good.

Description
I spend my days in complete silence and I spend my nights crying myself to sleep,
whoever said having loved and lost was better than not to have loved at all was a fool.
A fool who never felt the warm sensation of true love. The red flames of passion licked at my bare skin hungrily, the smell it gave off was intoxicating to the point that you could lose yourself in it's feverish whirlwind. The one need of all humans alike, one that should only be filled by one and one only. Love. All humans need this sacred emotion from the moment of birth to the cold gripping hand of death. So many fight for it, so many die for it, yet in all its demand true love is such a difficult item to come by. Love truly is blind, blind as a bat indeed. It gives you the run around in so many different ways, we exert ourselves in the strangest of ways to please the ones we love. Love makes us crazy by nature, its heat over energizes us to the point that its narcotic. You'd do anything for the one you love the most. Yes, there is such thing as true love, it is out there.

I know its out there because I have felt its spiteful sting. It's got me hooked on a man that's both half-way across my nation and in love with another. It feels so long ago that we met;I had no one then. Yet it was only about a year ago. Seems like he was a little boy then, just turned 15 still 14 inside, but I was young too.. Just turned 13 , still 12 on the inside.  Now were all grown up he's 16 almost 17, a 'grown ass man' as my mom would say. He dragged me through so much shit, gave me so many hopes. Now he's gone...I don't think I'll ever heal, but I want to share my experience with anyone who would care to read it. Useless is what he used to call me, I do believe its so. After he met someone within his reach he faded out of mine. Dropped mercilessly into the dark sea of loneliness I claw at the dark waters, pumping my legs  attempting to escape from it's fierce suffocating grasp. Understanding the circumstances I know my fate, I know it all too well as I give up the desperate struggle for air and let myself  fall down, down, down into the bottomless pit of  the lone sea. He says he still loves me and that he still cares, I know he does, but there is just no more room for me on his raft. I'm just a default choice at best, all his time and devotion goes to those higher up. I am a useless  pathogen in his life, and he just found my antidote.

I wish I could grow to hate him, or at least stop loving him, but I can't. Trapped like a mouse in a jar there is no escape and I am quickly running out of air. All the hopes and dreams he filled my head with gone, into a vacuum seldom ever to be seen again. My little mousy heart beats rapidly in my rib-cage exhausting my oxygen supply. In my last moments of consciousness I faintly see the outline of  a hand coming to free me. I awake with a horrifying jolt as liquid solitude erupts from my lungs past my lips . The ground under my hands is soft  and movable. I clench my fists into tight balls in the sand and let the tears I held back for so long free themselves of my eyes. I sobbed endlessly for what felt like an eternity until I finally felt the hand on my back, stroking back and forth. A comforting gesture that only made me feel worse about the entire thing. I look up to see my savior's face only to find that it wasn't one person, but five people. My best friends came all the way out here to help me get back on my feet I cried even harder now sadness for my lost love and pure joy for the wonderful friends I found on the way to my own demise. So deep the emotional stress cut through me like a knife, killing me.

Once dead I found  myself  in a cozy soft bed...A dream.. 'Yet so real.' I thought as I sat up in bed listening to the roar of thunder and  lightening outside. The quick bursts of light lit up my room from wall to wall reigniting an old flame that had been left out in the rain.
The sky is angry..
Why is it angry..?
The sky  is angry with how you are acting
What did I do?
You've given up. That's what you did.
Given...up? Such odd  unfamiliar words on my ears, these words angered something deep inside me. The flame sprang  up eager for life, to live once more. I gave up… The knowledge that I had given up burned my soul eating away the chest I had locked my heart away in. I am an Aries a fiery, stubborn, funny Aries. One that once upon a time ago made a pact to herself to never give up and never give in. What happened just then?  I took a deep breath and held it, I needed to think. I needed to think on everything, I'm so out of touch. As I meditated I recalled with vigor how I stayed by his side even when the going got tough. The tough don't get going they stand their ground and fight passionately for what they believe in. Feeling much calmer I opened my eyes with new resolve. Even if he didn't know if he saw me as his significant other  I still saw him that way. I had been here longer, I had been through more, who cares what that other girl can do? I am Tigerlily S. Tigeruss. The 'S' standing for Sumayyah meaning 'princess' and I'll be damned if this princess wasn't willing to fight for her throne! 7: 45 AM I'm about to miss the bus. I get dressed  just as Rancier Middle School Athletics department taught me to; fast. Just as I said that fateful track season ; I've come too far to give up now. I mentally cursed myself for not remembering those words earlier. I wrapped my red scarf fast around my neck and sprinted out the door. I suddenly could careless if  he wanted to or not but he would be mine! He would be mine alone and mine forever eventually if it was the last thing I ever did! I laughed inwardly at how evil it sounded even though its for his own good.