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What would Rammstein say if they woke up and the entire world had be turned to zombies?

NOTE: This is probably one of my personal favorites...

(Scene: a hotel in Moscow. Richard is slumbering peacefully in his room, when
*BANG*
Richard (awakening with a jolt): What zum Teufel…
(He gets up, puts on a robe, and runs into the hallway.)
*BANG*
Doom (From Till's room): Whooo! Good one, Till!
Paul: Ja, you blew his head all the way into the parking lot!
(Richard enters Till's room to see Doom, Paul, and Olli watching Till on the balcony, firing a VEPR II 7.62x39mm rifle into a mob in the courtyard below.)
Richard: Scheiss! Till! What are you doing?!?!
Olli: It's ok, Richard.
Richard: Okay?!?! Till has just turned into Ivan Sidorenko*1 and it's okay?!?!
Paul: No, really, it's fine-he's shooting at zombies.
Richard: He's…whaaat…?
Till (Reloading): Ja, it's the craziest thing-we woke up this morning, and heard all this 'uuuuugh…arrgghh..braaaaiins…', and looked out the window, and there's the entire population of Moscow outside, shuffling around, all green and decomposing and shit.
Richard: ….*….
Doom: So, Till goes: 'Waidmann's Heil!' And Olli and I go looking for guns…
Olli: We found this whole big cache in the room next to us-we figure it was some Russian mafia guy.
Paul: ...Or an American...
Till: In any case, that's him, over there.
(Richard looks and sees a headless corpse flopped over the bidet.)
Richard: So…you're saying everyone in the world except us are now zombies…?
Olli: Pretty much, ja.
Richard: -And this doesn't bother you at all?
Paul: Well, Not a lot we can do about it, ja?
Till:-So we might as well-
*BANG*
-enjoy it while we can.
Richard: Well…uhhh…ja, I guess…(Sits next to Till, who hands him a bottle of Jager.) …Ja, what the hell? Oo! Get that big fat one, Till.
Till: Nah, too easy. Watch me get that supermodel waaaaay over there-
*BANG*
Olli: Nope, she's just staggering-try again.
*BANG*
Till: There we go!
Richard: So, I guess Emu is-
Doom: Oh, he was the first to go. *2
Paul: That's him over there- (Points.)
Till: -And over there- (Points about 15 meters to the left.)
Olli: -And right here. (Points to a pile of unidentifiable flesh and bones on the floor.)
Richard: Ah, too bad. He would have enjoyed this.
Till: I'm just waiting for Ursula Von der Leyen to come along…
*BANG*
Richard: Hey…where's Flocka?
Doom: He went down to the bar to get supplies.
Richard: Alone-?
Till: We gave him a Berdan rifle, a PKM machine gun, and one of my smaller flamethrowers-he'll be fine.
(Flake opens the door. He is laden with firearms, a case of alcohol in one hand, and holding a snarling zombie toddler with the other.)
Flake: Hey, look what I found roaming around the lobby! Isn't she cute?
Olli: Uhh…Flocka…
Flake: Can we keep her?
Till: Well, she will require a steady diet of brains for roughly the rest of our natural lives, and when we die, she will crack open our skulls one by one and consume ours. So I'm going to say no, we can't keep her.
Flake: -But there'll be plenty of brains lying around for a long time, won't there?
Doom: Sorry, Flocka, it doesn't work that way. They need living brains.
Paul: Ja, you've seen all the movies, right? 'Night Of The Living Dead', 'Day Of The Dead', 'Dawn Of The Dead', 'Brunch Of The Dead'…
Flake: Oh…ja, right. (He looks at the toddler, who is clutching at his head.) Sorry, Lulu.
Lulu: Bwaaaains….bwaaaains…
Till: Olli, you've got a good throwing arm-let's see if I can get her on the fly!
(Olli takes Lulu from Flake.)
Lulu: Bwaaaiins…bwaaaiins…
Olli: That's right, Schatzie, 'bwains'.
(Olli flings her over the balcony. Till aims, and-)
*BANG*
Doom: Whoo hoo! Beautiful!
Paul: Tillchen, you're the mensch!
Richard: Ja, she blew apart like a 'Weiner Blut' doll!
Till: Danke, danke… (Pulls an AK-47 from a large pile of firearms.) Your turn, Paulchen.
Paul: Yessss! (Paul takes aim over the balcony.)
Flake: Hey! There's the Combichrist guys! Hi, Joey!
Joey: Braaaaiinss…
Flake: Oh… right, they're…yeah.
Richard: -I can imagine what they would have written in their blog about this.
Doom: Ja, well, it'd be no weirder than what they usually write...
Paul: Watch me get them all in one sweep, Kerls!
*RATATATATATATATAT!*
Till: Whoof! Paul, you're an artist! Cut 'em all in two!
Olli: Ja, but they're still moving-you've got to get them in the-
*RATATATATATATATAT!*
Olli:-head.
(The Rammies cheer, high-five Paul.)
Richard: Aww…is that it-?
(They look down onto the corpse-filled courtyard.)
Flake: Looks like it, but there'll probably be another wave soon.
Olli: Yech! What a mess! Anybody up for clearing it away?
Till (Eyes lighting up): Flocka…fetch me 'Helga'!
(Flake runs out of the room. The other Rammies look at Till wide-eyed.)
Till (Rubbing his hands together): At last! I get to use her!
(Flake returns with 'Helga', which is a flamethrower with a barrel roughly as long as Olli is tall, rolling a benzin tank the size of a SmartCar behind him.)
Till (Lovingly taking 'Helga' from Flake): Ja, my baby…my beauty…not a venue in the world where I could use you-fucking fire codes! But now…(He caresses the barrel, where the name 'Helga' is engraved in script with a heart and a sprig of Edelweiss. He climbs onto the balcony railing, aims 'Helga' at the vast pile of corpses, and…)
*BAAAAAWOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!!*
(The Rammies cheer as the courtyard is engulfed in flame. Till kisses 'Helga'-with tongue- and hops off the railing.)
Richard: That-is truly magnificent, Tillchen.
Olli: Is anyone the least bit surprised things would end like this for us-?
Doom: Nope.
Paul: Not at all.
Flake: I don't know-I always sort of pictured something with a big mushroom cloud, myself.
Till: Patience, Flocka. No one is keeping an eye on Chernobyl any more, you know…
(They put their arms around each other and the six of them watch the conflagration, humming 'Sonne'.)

*1:Red Army sniper during WW2-estimated 781 kills.
*2:This is by no means intended to be a comment on Rammstein's relationship with Emu-I just thought it was a good line.

:) (Smile) — Description
What would Rammstein say if they woke up and the entire world had be turned to zombies?

NOTE: This is probably one of my personal favorites...

(Scene: a hotel in Moscow. Richard is slumbering peacefully in his room, when
*BANG*
Richard (awakening with a jolt): What zum Teufel…
(He gets up, puts on a robe, and runs into the hallway.)
*BANG*
Doom (From Till's room): Whooo! Good one, Till!
Paul: Ja, you blew his head all the way into the parking lot!
(Richard enters Till's room to see Doom, Paul, and Olli watching Till on the balcony, firing a VEPR II 7.62x39mm rifle into a mob in the courtyard below.)
Richard: Scheiss! Till! What are you doing?!?!
Olli: It's ok, Richard.
Richard: Okay?!?! Till has just turned into Ivan Sidorenko*1 and it's okay?!?!
Paul: No, really, it's fine-he's shooting at zombies.
Richard: He's…whaaat…?
Till (Reloading): Ja, it's the craziest thing-we woke up this morning, and heard all this 'uuuuugh…arrgghh..braaaaiins…', and looked out the window, and there's the entire population of Moscow outside, shuffling around, all green and decomposing and shit.
Richard: ….*….
Doom: So, Till goes: 'Waidmann's Heil!' And Olli and I go looking for guns…
Olli: We found this whole big cache in the room next to us-we figure it was some Russian mafia guy.
Paul: ...Or an American...
Till: In any case, that's him, over there.
(Richard looks and sees a headless corpse flopped over the bidet.)
Richard: So…you're saying everyone in the world except us are now zombies…?
Olli: Pretty much, ja.
Richard: -And this doesn't bother you at all?
Paul: Well, Not a lot we can do about it, ja?
Till:-So we might as well-
*BANG*
-enjoy it while we can.
Richard: Well…uhhh…ja, I guess…(Sits next to Till, who hands him a bottle of Jager.) …Ja, what the hell? Oo! Get that big fat one, Till.
Till: Nah, too easy. Watch me get that supermodel waaaaay over there-
*BANG*
Olli: Nope, she's just staggering-try again.
*BANG*
Till: There we go!
Richard: So, I guess Emu is-
Doom: Oh, he was the first to go. *2
Paul: That's him over there- (Points.)
Till: -And over there- (Points about 15 meters to the left.)
Olli: -And right here. (Points to a pile of unidentifiable flesh and bones on the floor.)
Richard: Ah, too bad. He would have enjoyed this.
Till: I'm just waiting for Ursula Von der Leyen to come along…
*BANG*
Richard: Hey…where's Flocka?
Doom: He went down to the bar to get supplies.
Richard: Alone-?
Till: We gave him a Berdan rifle, a PKM machine gun, and one of my smaller flamethrowers-he'll be fine.
(Flake opens the door. He is laden with firearms, a case of alcohol in one hand, and holding a snarling zombie toddler with the other.)
Flake: Hey, look what I found roaming around the lobby! Isn't she cute?
Olli: Uhh…Flocka…
Flake: Can we keep her?
Till: Well, she will require a steady diet of brains for roughly the rest of our natural lives, and when we die, she will crack open our skulls one by one and consume ours. So I'm going to say no, we can't keep her.
Flake: -But there'll be plenty of brains lying around for a long time, won't there?
Doom: Sorry, Flocka, it doesn't work that way. They need living brains.
Paul: Ja, you've seen all the movies, right? 'Night Of The Living Dead', 'Day Of The Dead', 'Dawn Of The Dead', 'Brunch Of The Dead'…
Flake: Oh…ja, right. (He looks at the toddler, who is clutching at his head.) Sorry, Lulu.
Lulu: Bwaaaains….bwaaaains…
Till: Olli, you've got a good throwing arm-let's see if I can get her on the fly!
(Olli takes Lulu from Flake.)
Lulu: Bwaaaiins…bwaaaiins…
Olli: That's right, Schatzie, 'bwains'.
(Olli flings her over the balcony. Till aims, and-)
*BANG*
Doom: Whoo hoo! Beautiful!
Paul: Tillchen, you're the mensch!
Richard: Ja, she blew apart like a 'Weiner Blut' doll!
Till: Danke, danke… (Pulls an AK-47 from a large pile of firearms.) Your turn, Paulchen.
Paul: Yessss! (Paul takes aim over the balcony.)
Flake: Hey! There's the Combichrist guys! Hi, Joey!
Joey: Braaaaiinss…
Flake: Oh… right, they're…yeah.
Richard: -I can imagine what they would have written in their blog about this.
Doom: Ja, well, it'd be no weirder than what they usually write...
Paul: Watch me get them all in one sweep, Kerls!
*RATATATATATATATAT!*
Till: Whoof! Paul, you're an artist! Cut 'em all in two!
Olli: Ja, but they're still moving-you've got to get them in the-
*RATATATATATATATAT!*
Olli:-head.
(The Rammies cheer, high-five Paul.)
Richard: Aww…is that it-?
(They look down onto the corpse-filled courtyard.)
Flake: Looks like it, but there'll probably be another wave soon.
Olli: Yech! What a mess! Anybody up for clearing it away?
Till (Eyes lighting up): Flocka…fetch me 'Helga'!
(Flake runs out of the room. The other Rammies look at Till wide-eyed.)
Till (Rubbing his hands together): At last! I get to use her!
(Flake returns with 'Helga', which is a flamethrower with a barrel roughly as long as Olli is tall, rolling a benzin tank the size of a SmartCar behind him.)
Till (Lovingly taking 'Helga' from Flake): Ja, my baby…my beauty…not a venue in the world where I could use you-fucking fire codes! But now…(He caresses the barrel, where the name 'Helga' is engraved in script with a heart and a sprig of Edelweiss. He climbs onto the balcony railing, aims 'Helga' at the vast pile of corpses, and…)
*BAAAAAWOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!!*
(The Rammies cheer as the courtyard is engulfed in flame. Till kisses 'Helga'-with tongue- and hops off the railing.)
Richard: That-is truly magnificent, Tillchen.
Olli: Is anyone the least bit surprised things would end like this for us-?
Doom: Nope.
Paul: Not at all.
Flake: I don't know-I always sort of pictured something with a big mushroom cloud, myself.
Till: Patience, Flocka. No one is keeping an eye on Chernobyl any more, you know…
(They put their arms around each other and the six of them watch the conflagration, humming 'Sonne'.)

*1:Red Army sniper during WW2-estimated 781 kills.
*2:This is by no means intended to be a comment on Rammstein's relationship with Emu-I just thought it was a good line.