Description
"Hey!"
I barge through the front door, the tiny bell atop aggressively alarming everyone nearby of my presence.
"HEY!" I squeak, my knees suddenly turning into butter as they give away. Out of breath, I drop to my knees, panting. With a grunt of effort, I attempt to push myself up, but whatever solid butter my muscles were at this point, they had now turned into liquid. Unable to get back onto my feet, I sigh and attempt to crawl forward, eyes staring down at the wooden floor in defeat. My body had betrayed me, once again.
"Hehh.. Hey!" I attempt to shout a third time, but my voice falters into a cracked gasp for oxygen. "Damn..." I notice drops of sweat splash onto the ground. Was it that hot or was I just that exhausted? Maybe both? It still felt like I could feel the scorching headlights burning into my pelt.
My ears were ringing loudly, so loud I could hear nothing aside from that shrieking tinitus and my own heartbeat. But gradually, the soft, soothing melodies of oriental music filled my head and the beeping in my skull began to fade away. I lick my lips and give this entire standing-bipedal thing another go. Bringing a knee up to my belly, I can feel my thigh start to tingle. All I manage is a LEAP- no, a pathetic little stretch, before I land flat on my stomach, stretched out across the ground. "Oof!" I grunt and sigh, blowing a strain of brown hair from my face.
Down the store, I can hear soft commotion, the squeaking of that rancid, old leather armchair. Then, I hear the two most wonderful words I could have hoped to pick up in this situation, spoken in the raspiest, oriental old-lady-style voice I could have imagined.
"...Anybody there?"
Hobbling down the corridor almost like a penguin draped in thick Persian rugs, the greying, perhaps slightly too wrinkled for her mid 50s appearance, shape of the soothsayer steps into my view. I can't bring my gaze up and am restricted to look up at her, but her tiny leather boots- which were even wrinklier than her face- were mostly everything I could see.
"Ah.... is that you?" she inquired with her voice like rusty door hinges.
"Yes, it's ME," I grumble and this time bring my arms beneath my shoulders, trying to push myself up. However, my hands just slide out from under me, as if the floor had been varnished in oil. "Didn't recognize me? Why am I not surprised?"
The penguin waddle came closer until Madame Laurent stood right in front of me.
"Oh dear boy," she sighs and, accompanied by a few overly dramatic grunts to highlight her apparent age, squats down in front of me. I lick my lips and close my eyes. Never before had I felt this defetaed. Sure, I had THOUGHT that I had been at rock bottom at plenty of occasions, but nothing compared to THIS mess.
"Did the comedy act go well, at least?"
I managed to lift an eyebrow and eyelid, glancing up at Madame Laurent.
"Are you serious?"
"That was what you came here for in the first place, wasn't it? Did your act go well?"
The last thirty minutes flash through my head in an instance and I cringe, grinding my teeth onto each other.
"...Everyone LAUGHED at me!"
I spat with a little snivel, but couldn't help to chuckle at my own misfortune there.
"Even YOU are laughing at yourself," she retorted and I felt her pat the mane on my head. I sigh, defeated both physically and verbally.
"But I guess one could argue mission accomplished," I admit and finally, my muscles stop tensing up.
"So how did it go?"
//
TWO HOURS AND FORTY NINE MINUTES EARLIER
//
A ladder. There was a ladder. Up ahead. Right ahead. A ladder. Well, perhaps not a ladder and more of a scaffolding in fact, but... It felt like a push to the chest and I stopped dead in my tracks. If I would continue walking, I would toddle right beneath it! Now, I wouldn't consider myself superstitious, not really, no. But today... eh, I just don't want to take any chances! Better safe than sorry, after all. I turn and take a few steps towards the road, check for incoming traffic before I cross over onto the other side. I take four five hasty steps and hop onto the sidewalk. There. Much safer here.
I don't quite know what I had expected. After all, I had been working on my skit for MONTHS, so if anything, I SHOULD be overjoyed! All my hard work is going to pay off tonight, if all goes well... Funny just HOW something so fantastic could seem so very frightening. Maybe it just seemed too easy! That must be it! When you get down to it, all I had to do was walk down to the comedy club, ask for a time slot and voila. Here I am. A time slot for 10 o'clock. Today was the day I would finally prove to myself if I was any good at stand-up comedy. I mean, sure, I knew my act like the back of my hand and yes, I do consider myself to be a measly JOKE of a person, but that does not make me a good comedian. No, I need a fresh, lively audience to put myself to the test. And today is that day!
On top of that, I know the comedy club quite well. Not that I was a seasoned comedy veteran, but I had been a regular in the audience at this point, I could read the crowds. Not that it took much reading whenever a newcomer bombed. A shiver runs down my back and I tuck my hands deeper into my hoodie, deep enough that I stretch the cotton. Instinctively I pick up my pace, as if trying to walk away from my own memories. Now that's a position I don't ever want to find myself in. That smothering silence, stifling any laughter that could have been. Watching your own joke fail. And you stand there, as the scapegoat. A knot forms in my stomach and I clench my fists, trudging further down the darkening streets. The sun had set about an hour ago, but the sky was only really starting to dim now. A cold wind sweeps through the streets, hissing through my outfit like a ghost through a wall. I shiver again and watch my breath evaporate in front of my eyes. Watching the cloud of "smoke" twirl and ballet through the air, I lick across my lips. I feel a joke simmering there, I could include it in my act, perhaps! Spontaneous! That's what connects to an audience. It has to be relatable.
The club wasn't much further. In fact, it was just down the road; I could already make out its orange glowing neon sign above the door. My stomach knots and I slow my pace. This is what I WANTED since I was a teen! But now... it is too real, too soon. The closer I got to the club, the further away I wanted to be. Why does it feel like I'm walking the final mile before my execution? In this moment, I start to feel unprepared, despite my rehearsals, as if they were all for naught. Ironically, a scene from the old "Carrie" flick kept replaying in my head, just that it was me standing on that stage. They're all going to laugh at you. Whether that is a good or bad omen, I can't tell.
Something, a little burst of colour in the corner of my vision caught my eye and I tilt my head to the side. It seemed like just another petty mom-and-pop store with maybe a bit of an oriental touch to it. I glance at the window. "Madame Laurent: Fortune Teller". Inside, I could see a lot of red, ornamental tablecloths and curtains. Overall, it seemed like an Eastern lounge of sorts. Despite the strong gusts of wind, I could still smell the incense, even when I had walked past the shop. My mom had plenty of those back at home, so my nose was no stranger to "oriental" aromas.
Perhaps this is a good stop, even if only to put my mind at rest, distract my thoughts for a while. I slide my left hand out of my pocket and check the time. I WOULD have a few minutes to spare for a little gander. Why not?
Holding the door knob provides me with a sudden sense of balance that I had apparently lacked up until this point. My hands are noticably jittery and squeezing the icy cold piece of metal seems to calm my muscles as I push the door open. A bell ringedings above my head as I take two, three steps inside, hit by a wave of comforting warmth which makes my face prickle, eyes watering.
"Damn," I mumble, running two fingers along the ridge of my nose, wiping away the sudden waterworks. Suddenly, this vibrant mass of a woman swoops around the corner of a stacked bookshelf.
"Ohooo, a customer, welcome welcome!" she announces her presence in a thick Eastern European accent. Her hair is tied back into a huge bun, grey streaks running through the auburn collection of hair. She wears buckets of make-up, lips a thick candy red, her eyeshadow ocean blue. If the colours were any more intense, I would mistake her for a clown. At least SHE looks like a comic...
My mouth opens, but my voice cracks and I'm forced to swallow some of my own saliva.
"Ack!" Oh god, what if that happens tonight as I start my act? "Uhh-hi!"
The elderly lady hobbles towards me with a bright smile to highlight her precious, yellow teeth.
"Now what does this young man desire, eh? Madame Laurent knows, she can read your tea leaves if you like. What can I do for you?"
"Nothing much, I-"
"Shall I foresee your future? I just happened to get a brand new crystal ball from my great grandmother, may she rest peacefully, and to celebrate its inauguration, I'll make a truly special price for you." Bloody hell, I need to get her off my back.
"No, thanks, but-" I start shaking my head dismissively, but the lady continues her verbal assault.
"Do you need a love potion, charms or wisdom? I just prepared a new badge of love potion. Do you need bottled luck?" My eyebrows twitch. Obviously she was trying to sell anything to me, but... at the same time, perhaps a little trinket to assure a bit of extra luck for my performance may not be a bad idea.
"Bottled luck, very pretty, tastes like grape juice mixed with passion fruit juice, it is veeery useful!"
"No-"
"Ahh, I see you like to bargain. How about this, if you buy two potions, you get the third one... FREE."
"Lady, I'd like to have a look at your charms, DAMMIT!"
At this point, I wasn't sure anymore if I want a charm because I'm actually interested or because I only want to get this Madame character off my back.
She tilts her head and nods, as if I had just revealed the truths of the earth to her.
"Ahhh, a present or for your own indulgence?"
I blow a lock of hair from my face and sigh.
"You see, I'm a comedian and I've got a gig tonight-"
The elderly lady looks at me from head to toes with a slightly raised brow, as if I was the imposter.
"And I guess it can't hurt to buy some reassurance that I won't bomb."
"You? A comedian? Can you make a joke?"
I sigh and retort," Hey, I'm not the one putting on that attrocious European accent in an oriental store."
Laurent clasps her lips shut, her bottom lip protruding like an upset toddler, her eyebrows giving me that "touche". Then she falls back into her character and assaults me with further chants, clapping her hands as she gestures me towards a glass shelf.
"Big brains need big charms, yes, that I know," she mutters and picks up a couple of trinkets and baubles. A coin, a chipped claw and some other weird smelling, mummified animal parts. "Here here, which one you like?"
Opening her hand in front of my face, my head bobs back and I glance at the little relics in her hand. Some carved ivory, something I assumed to be the claw of some large feline and... part of a pufferfish?
"Very rare, all of them, but I make special price for you."
"Ahh, rare because the animals are extinct now, huh?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Very rare and special. You want to feel?"
My head bobs back even further and I hold up my hand to decline her offer.
"Yeah yeah, just... let me breathe, dammit!"
At this point, I couldn't tell if it were here hands or the trinkets that smell like dead fish and I had to suppress the urge to gag. The only trinket that wasn't organic was a little coin with a square hole in the middle. I snatch it from her palm quickly and hold it up somewhat triumphantly.
"...this one?"
With a sudden new spring in her step, Laurent hurried behind her counter. I noticed that, while she was talking, her accent was now slowly slipping into a middle eastern Arabic.
"Yes, yes, you made a good choice! This coin will provide you with a real energy on any stage, you will win hearts of entire audience."
"Yeah, thanks, how much is it?"
"I know I shouldn't part with it for this little, but ahh, I like you and-"
"How much?"
"It's such a special little coin and I do think it's in the right hands if I-"
"How much..."
"Sell it to you, so, with heavy heart-"
"Price."
"Twentyfive dollars. Should be fifty, but I go down for you."
"Twentyfive?!"
"It is very special coin, you see and-"
"TWENTY. FIVE."
"I won't go down, this is already very special price-"
"How about twenty..?"
"Deal."
I grumble and fumble a twenty dollar bill from my pocket and slap it onto the counter. Then, I slide the coin into my pocket and put on a smile.
"Pleasure doing business with you."
"The pleasure is all mine," Laurent responded and put on the widest smile I had ever seen on an old lady. A bit taken aback, I nod my farewell and head back out of the store.
For some reason, I feel like I had just wasted my dinner money. Why would I buy into her superstitious nonsense, anyway? That's not me. But now that I have the coin, can't hurt to have it on me, huh? And I was able to drive the price down, which is something! Five dollars saved! Now, with that little, golden companion in my jeans, I continue my trek towards the comedy club, the coin feeling oddly warm in my pocket.
//
The chatter, acts and laughter seem lightyears away. I had snatched a seat somewhere in the middle, staring up at the microphone on-stage, beguiled and horrified at once. Like a Shakespeare poem, it was... beautiful, but at the same time so disturbing that it made my head hurt. Comics came and went, some with little, others with grand success. I clench my fists, feeling the coin rest between the index and middle finger in my left. It had been burning in-between my fingers, providing a soothing warmth, one that I feel I needed tonight.
My ears are ringing, the spirited atmosphere of the club completely fading away. My heart was throbbing so hard I could feel it from my throat all the way down to my butt and my toes curl up as I grind my teeth. If this is the regular tension before a gig, then I would NEVER agree to even go near a comedy stage again. I still have around ten more minutes and I don't think anyone has seen me yet. I clench my fists even harder, but relax my right hand, clasp it around the glass on my table and take a sip from the water. It felt icy cold, my forehead throbbing from an imminent brain freeze.
"God..."
What if I just leave? No one would notice and I could try again once I feel more prepared for an entire act.
"Dude no... what else do you want to practice?" I whisper to myself and run my thumb over the heads side of the coin, poking my fingernail into the hole in the middle. "How to blink? You've gone through everyting already!... Besides, you've got a lucky coin, what could possibly go wrong now?"
Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I flinch, a shock running down my spine.
"You're up." It was Ed, some shady mafia type looking man in his late 40s, who just happened to organize the time slots in this joint. I choke on the bit of water that was still in my mouth, snorting and spitting onto my table.
"WHAT? What?"
"Yeah, the comic, that was supposed to show now, didn't pitch. He bailed."
"You're kidding me? That was my plan."
"Come again?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Nothing.. nothing, sure, uhh," I panic and squeeze the coin so tight that my fingers start to hurt," Just a sec."
Shady Eddy didn't even wait for me as he pranced up onto the stage with his clipboard in his hand, smiling his crooked teeth at the audience. Is he trying to scare them off with his creepy, slimey persona he thinks to be smooth and slick?
"Aight, everyone, next up we have a new kid on the block. No point in introducing him, since you wouldn't know his name anyway, so why not come up here and introduce yourself, eh? A round of applause, please!"
My legs jitter and my mouth runs dry. The applause turns into a muffled cacophony, echoing away like a distant rumble and clattering. The coin burns in my hand and I spin it from one palm to the other, flicking it around with my thumbs. It feels searing hot, which I attribute to my growing stage fright.
No turning back now.
I step into the spotlight, putting on my performer face. Wide grin, a little bow towards the general audience before I grab the microphone.
It's heavier than I had anticipated. Bigger. Like a huge machine I was about to operate. I lick my lips and breathe.
"How nice of you to clap for me before I've said anything. " Slight laughter. Good start.
"So, here I am, usually just another paying audience member like any of you, but for some reason I found my way onto this stage, I believe I just got lost, really. Club is badly lit as it is, I was just on my way to the toilet, really, but now here we are."
The knot in my stomach begins to soften, but I still feel tense all over. Not that I could see the audience in the slightest- the spotlight made sure of that- but I could FEEL them. It's like suddenly I could hear everyone breathe at the same time.
"There's so much that has changed for me in just one week alone! It's like I'm turning my entire life upside down and that on purpose. After all, my mom always taught me as a child that I should never talk to strangers and now look at me. Here we are. Going against everything she ever stood for. Must be a change for all of you too. I mean, first comedian tonight who ISN'T older than the internet, so that must be exciting, frightening even!"
I let the joke simmer for a moment, garnering the first few chuckles and laughlets.
"So let's stick this through together, shan't we? I mean, we've already survived my first terrible joke, so we are collectively off for a good start, yes?" I let loose a little chuckle myself, twirling the coin in my hands.
"But yes, where was I? Change. There's a lot of change in my life. Big changes and, hopefully, small change in form of err... coins at the end of my performance, if you do have any to spare."
A shiver runs down my back and I continue with my first planned act. Some story focusing about the change that comes with moving continents. To my surprise, it got the crowd laughing quite loud. Not bad for a first time. Surely it must've been the coin! I stroke my thumb over it and continue with some unscripted improv, blowing a few strains of hair from my face.
"So, who has been outside yet today? Did you people even notice? I mean, probably not, because y'all live here for good, but... me? Yo, guys, it is COLD outside! Winds and temperatures so low I thought my thermometer was broken! Like, get this, I was hanging out with my friend a couple of weeks ago, shortly after moving here from hot hot Namibia and he said 'Yo dude... it's gonna be 41 degrees next week!'."
I wipe the sweat off my forehead. Damn, this stage was getting hot. Even my shirt was starting to get soaked, especially around the armpits. And I couldn't shake this buzzing sensation out of my system. Like adrenaline, but it was... burning, like an itch I couldn't scratch. I chuckle, disrupting my train of thought for a second. Timing seemed to fit at least, since my odd giggle got a few giggles out of the audience too. Laughing is, after all, infectious.
"So I look at him and shrug, because you see, where I come from- meaning the rest of the world- we use the metric system. So I had assumed he was talking about celsius, you see? So I thought he was referring to Namibia summer temperatures, yes? Because, YES, let that sink in, the seasons are the opposite here. I moved here during the start of summer in Namibia, so I was expecting summer to come barging into the US any day now. Spoiler alert: Winter is coming."
Half got the pop culture reference and laughed. I lick over my dry lips, the buzzing, burning sensation intensifying to the point that I had to roll my shoulders in an attempt to give myself some breathing space.
"So, my friend said it will be 41 degrees, yes? And I go 'Yeah, so what? I can handle the heat.'" A few audience members giggle in anticipation. I feel the knot in my stomach form and I snort and chuckle, unintentionally pulling a silly face to get another chuckle out of the audience.
"41 degrees Fahrenheit. He said."
I mimic an exaggerated reaction, getting another chuckle out of the audience.
"Fahrenheit?!
It was in that moment I learnt that I learnt that I had never truly been cold before. 41 degrees, how do you people even- I can't even-"
I hiccup, chuckling and giggling.
"The *hic* only time I had ever experienced anything remotely cold was when I was a kid. Come on, I know we've all been there. Cold weather, breath turning to clouds in front of you and your young mind just goes like 'I've decided to become a dragon.'"I prance around the stage a bit and grimace, imitating a big, fiery dragon. Plenty of laughs from the audience. I notice something brown from the corner of my eye, but don't pay much further attention to it and continue my act. I still felt buzzed, my spine tingling in every vertebra. I'm living the stage.
"See? We've all been changing into other characters all my life. You laugh, but DON'T YOU PRETEND YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED DRAGON AS A KID! I know a liar when I see one," I snide and point at a random audience member.
However, I see that my entire hand has changed. Still clasping the golden coin in my disfigured fingers, I see the large patches of brown-ish hairs that have grown all over it. I squeak and let loose a high-pitched scream, dropping the coin in surprise, much to the audience's amusement. Stunned, I retract my hand, turning it slowly like a car on display. I gasp, seeing the thick, black PAW pads that decorated my usual slim fingers. Now they looked like deformed sausages with chocolate beans stuck to them.
"Well err....." I stumble over my words, licking my lips. What do I do? What's going on? The gig's going so well, but WHAT'S GOING ON?!
"Seems like I have a litter- err literal-- ugh, little ward-wardrobe malf-f-function."
I heard a few chuckles and felt confused glares boring into my chest. But none of them are as confused as I am, I can tell. A wild laugh slips out of my lips and I throw my transformed hand in front of my mouth in surprise. The audience snickers and I take a moment to regain my bearings.
"Looks like... looks like my hand fancied a little change, huh?" Laughlets from the audience. I sigh and swallow. The show must go on.
"Where was I? R-right, dirty little liars like you."
I continue my act, going back on scrip, my eyes wandering down to my furred hand. It resembles a paw more than anything at this point and I make a solid attempt, trying to keep it behind my back for the remainder of the show. What about my other hand though? It seemed fine and unaffected at first, but the longer I talked, the more I began to see the changes. Staring at my hand was like watching paint dry, but if I would look away for what felt like a minute, I would suddenly find a new patch of fur on it. I'm slightly unnerved, but I try to keep my own concern out of my voice.
But then the paw on my back brushes against something bushy. I shriek and jump mid-sentence, much to the amusement of the audience.
"Oh GOD!" I squeak and look behind me. My hear skips a bit when I see the brown tail that stood erect and a proud foot long above my rear. I glance at the audience," Why didn't any of you say anything?!"
I could hear a howl of laughter, but was too distracted at this point to fully take it in. My knees were starting to shiver and jidder like rubber and I gulp. It must've been that stupid fortune teller. God, I should've paid the full 25 dollars!
"I... I... well, this is awkward."
Wrapping both of my paws around the microphone, I shrug at the audience," Night of firsts for me, I can tell you that much. Say, did any of you ever have a uhh... a tail? And sure, gentlemen, I don't need to hear where YOUR tails have been." Licking over my teeth, I notice that they too were starting to change in shape. My canines feel longer and just feeling their odd shape in my mouth made me shiver. God, the fur was growing up on my back and I can FEEL it...
"But the show must go ahehehe! Must go on, am I right?" I stutter and whoop and chuckle again. It sounded identical to the hyena laughs they showed in movies. The audience laughs, but I'm terrified! What is going on?! Why me?! I need to get out of here and find that stupid fortune teller!
I overhear soft whispers from the audience.
"How does he do that?" "Dunno, but the effects and acting are spot-on! He's fucking amazing!"
"Oh no, don't you tell me that...."
But it's too late. Reaching up to the top of my head, I brush my paws against two large round bowls of ears.
"Right, uhmm... everyone, that's all the time I have for tonight, so uhh... uhh, I'm Billy, by the way!"
And with that, still rubbing my new set of oversized ears, I dart off the stage. Thundering applause accompanies me as I dodge the backstage crew and follow the green "EXIT" sign, pushing open the back door and toppling over, falling onto the cold dirty back alley behind the comedy club.
"What the fuck, oh my fucking fuck!" I wheeze, running my paws, my PAWS over my new set of ears in disbelief. "What the hell!? Nrghheehehe!"
I chuckle against my will, feeling the fur on my back thicken and grow denser. It pushes against my tight cotton shirt, my back barreling out. The rip and tear of fabric made me squeal like a dying pig.
"No no no please, this shirt was expensive!"
My newly grown mane suddenly whipped free, having torn its way through the back of my shirt, tearing the collar in two.
I bring a hand beneath my misshapen chest and push myself up, bringing my knees up along with it. I find myself on all fours, groaning, yet whooping and chuckling as if I was having the time of my life. Spoiler alert: I wasn't.
"Argh grnphllh~" thick drops of saliva ran down my chin as my face crunched and cracked, my jaw pushing forward faster than my changes could fathom. My tongue flicks as flesh and bone forms around it, my nose tickling so badly that I sneeze. Blinking, I see this large blob in my vision- a big, almost cartoonishly sized button nose- which gets just another chuckle out of me.
Grunting, I crawl forward, hearing more fabric tear.
"No no no, that's my only pair of Levis..."
Jeans were made to be durable, so when my bottom and pelvis began to change shape, I just started to feel an intense tightness, cutting of blood circulation in my waist and thighs. My feet are less of a piece of work. As they begin to lengthen and broaden, they slip out of my shoes with ease, leaving me in my very elastic socks. But my pants were still too tight and I grabbed and fumbled with the button with jittery fingers. Until the jeans button shot off like a champagne cork, providing at least a small sense of relief. The jeans was still too much of a tight fit though, constricting not only my blood flow, but also my movement. I manage to squeeze the thumbs from my paws in-between my waist and the jeans, methodically stripping down to my underwear to provide myself the relief I needed.
"Holy shit, I hope nobody is filming me right now..."
I blush and kick my pants off, helping myself onto two feet with support by the club wall.
"Oh god..."
Either I'm on the most intense drug trip ever... or this story is gonna be one helluva mess to explain to anyone... or maybe I've gone insane.
"Did you ever find yourself, standing in a dark alleyway at night behind a shady comedy club in nothing but your underwear... transformed into a two-legged hyena? Okay, maybe the underwear part is a bit unrealistic." I make a mental note about including this in a future stand-up and scrape up whatever remains of my clothing.
"Fuck, what now?"
There's no way I'd go back inside looking like this. I'm fortunate enough that the audience thought my little transformative detour was nothing but special effects.
"Shit, shit shit..."
Despite my thick, fluffy fur coat, I did start to get increasingly cold in the windy weather. Even hyenas weren't made for these near subzero temperatures. My jacket was still inside the club-
"Fuck the jacket, your jacket is dead. Now go find that AHEHEEHE, find that fortune teller and fix this mess!"
//
The only thing missing in this entire situation would've been Mancini's Pink Panther theme. Sneaking from one dumpster to the other, I double, triple, quadruple-checked every street, corner and house to make sure I had no eyes on me.
Which of course, was inavoidable. It was a busy street in a huge city, next to a very full comedy club, bars and other social hotspots. It's honestly a miracle no one had seen me just yet.
"Aight, fuck this, you just SPRINT to the store and forget about all the eyes on you. Pretend THEY'RE all naked."
I take a deep breath and drop my clothes on the ground. Time for an epic sprint.
"Weren't you the guy from the comedy club?"
No...
"Uhh.."
I turn my head and see a man I assumed to be in his mid 30s, flat cap and hands in his pocket stand on the sidewalk to my left. He must've come outside for some fresh air.
"Yeah, that's you, with the hyena act! Duuude, your act is amazing. Will you be back for an encore with that... costume?"
"Uhh..."
"Wait a second..."
"UHHHH.... Gotta go, bye!"
And with that, fuelled by shame, panic and buckets of adrenaline, I dart off to the right.
"Hey, WAIT!"
I close my eyes, sprinting blindly for a few seconds, but I still feel the eyes of all the pedestrians on me.
"Oh god, if I've got a just let me sink into the ground and disappear..."
"Is that... a hyena?" I blink and see a child pointing at me a bit further ahead.
"I'm not... why is he naked?"
Feeling utterly humiliated, I continue my sprint, squeaking so that I can shut out the onlooker's comments.
Then, I finally reach the fortune teller's door, slamming my now considerably much heavier body against the door. The bell TING TINGs and I launch myself into Madame Laurent's store.
"HEY!" I scream right before I collapse.
//
Madame Laurent pushes her lip forward and gives me an impressed nod.
"So they did laugh!"
"Oh god, I can't ever go out there ever again!"
"But it's the show business. No such thing as negative publicity, eh?"
"You can't be serious!"
I grimace and push myself up onto my feet. For a moment, while on all fours, I feel my entire body tingle. I keep having a fear that, whenver I am on all fours in hyena form, I end up stuck with all four paws on the ground. Then I lift a finger, pointing it at the elderly witch.
"I want you to turn me back!"
But Laurent just shrugs.
"Sure, just give me my coin."
I nod and reach to my waist.
"Right you are, it's here in my- oh no."
Madame Laurent raises a brow.
"You lost it, didn't you?"
"I uhh... I think I dropped it in the comedy club."
"Then you'd better go back and get it before-"
TINGEDING DING DING DING!
"Hey, there you are!"
I spin around. Oh no. It's the guy from the alley. Then I turn back to Laurent-
"Hey, Madame, where did you go?! Get the coin before what?!"
"Hey, you, Billy, hear me out."
Frustrated, I spin around, baring my teeth, more out of angry reflex than anything.
"WHAT?! Can't you see I'm kind of in a pickle here?! Who are you in the first place?"
The man smiles and defensively holds his hands up.
"Allow me to introduce myself. The name is Evan Ville. And I can help you and your... predicament... will you hear me out?"
Feeling backed into a corner by both Laurent and this weird stranger, I crunch my teeth.
"What do you have in mind...?" I ask and look down at my almost nude, furred body, flexing my foot paws for a moment," Say, you do not happen to have some spare clothing with you, do you?"