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Tobi-b-Blaze — The Quest
Published: 2008-06-08 19:49:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 287; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description                         Blaze’s “Noble” Quest for THE GOLDEN SLIDER
                                                By: Blaze Porter

I am the “Narrator”. I’m like a muse but I got kicked out of the muse group for giving people REEEAALLLYYY stupid ideas.  But enough about me!
Our story begins with a boy named Blaze.  Blaze is a lazy natured kid, and one day while sitting on his rear end and watching TV, he was struck by a painfully hunger pang.  He was distraught to say the least.
“Good God I’m hungry!”  Blaze cried aloud.
Just then a mystical figure drifted through the open window in the shape of Johnny Yong Bosch (the black power ranger), “You called?” he said.
The hungry boy was dumb struck, “J.Y.B.? You’re a God?”
The ranger nodded, “I’m the God of everything awesome.  You called out and said you were hungry, so I have the perfect solution for you.”
Blaze’s stomach growled, “I’m interested. What is it?”
J.Y.B. took the remote from the boy’s hand and flipped to a different channel.  On the TV was an add for “White Castle.”
“Seek out the White Castle in Hyrule, and get the Golden Slider!  Your hunger will subside!” The God faded and drifted out the window.
Blaze bolted up from the couch, “I NEED TO MAKE SOME PHONE CALLS!”

                                           TWO HOURS LATER!!!
Blaze had his crew together: First and foremost, Captain America (Marvel comics), fallowed by Captain Falcon (F-Zero).  After the two captains were Cloud and Sephiroth (FFVII).  Then his crew was joined by Tobi and Might Guy (Naruto).  With help from friends he got Harry Dresden (Dresden Files), the only wizard in the phone book, on board.  Just to shut her up, Blaze allowed Princess Peach (Mario) to join the crew of heroes.  The last pair of crew mates were Light Yagami and L (Death Note). They came as a pair because they were handcuffed together.  And finally as a last minute replacement for Sean Connery, Ben Gates (National Treasure).
Together with his crew, Blaze rode forth to Hyrule on Air Force One which Ben “commandeered” for their purposes.
For 14 hours the crew sat on the plane with nothing to do but listen to Captain Falcon practice his punches, Light and L bicker and fight, and Peach complain about Bowser kidnapping her all the time.
Sephiroth and Cloud sat apart for obvious reasons. (When they’re together they blow up planets!!!)
Harry and Ben piloted the plane while Might Guy, Tobi, and Captain America played cards.
Meanwhile Blaze held his stomach in hunger. “I don’t know how much I can take of this.”
“Be strong! Be like me!” Captain America said proudly.
“What dead?” Tobi asked innocently.
“What?” The American Captain asked.
“Oops! Nothing! Tobi is a good boy!” Tobi buried his head in his cloak.

                                           Not much time later!
“Blaze we got a problem!!” Harry called from the front of the plane.
“What is it Harry?” Blaze said worried.
“Ummm we’re outta fuel…” Ben said matter-of-factly.
“CRAP!!! OUR FIRST PROBLEM!!! IT’S LIKE THIS WAS MENT TO HAPPEN!!! WE NEED A MIERICAL TO SAVE US FROM CERTAIN DEATH!” Blaze yelled.
He had an idea! He led captain falcon and Might Guy to the fuel tank.
“Ok! You, use your power of youth to power the plane, and falcon, help him out!” Blaze said.
“Sounds like a young and sassy plan!” Might Guy with a smile.
“Show me your moves!” Captain Falcon said with a thumbs up.
Blaze shook his head, “Yeah. Certain death imminent! Get with the saving! Come on chop chop! I feel like a freaking Ethiopian I’m so hungry!”
Combining their power, Captain Falcon and Might Guy power Air Force One to fly far enough to land in Hyrule!  The crew piles out of the plane, and Ben Gates is punched in the face by the President who was still on board!  “Get off my plane!”
Sephiroth holds his forehead, “I sense the Golden Slider is near.”
Cloud mocks him, “I sense the Golden Slider is near. My name is Sephiroth and I have dumb silver hair.”
“Don’t push it spikey.” Sephiroth says (LIKE A B.A.M.F!!!)

                                A short time later in Hyrule forest!
Blaze is being carried by Captain America and Tobi.  His hunger is getting worse.
The starving boy’s eyes shoot open, “Wait! I smell it!” He points, “WHITE CASTLE!”
The crew speeds up toward the doors of the fast food joint where the Golden Slider awaits, but they are stopped by a huge dinosaur with a turtle shell on it’s back.
“BOWSER?!” Peach yells.
“This is highly improbable!” L says.
“Well he IS standing here isn’t he?” Light says, bored.
“THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING KIRA WOULD SAY!!” L springs forward to kick Light in the face.
Bowser looks down at the crew, “None shall pass with out answering 3 riddles!”
“OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!” Blaze yells and walks toward the gaint dino/turtle thing, “I HAVE WAITED FOR OVER 22 HOURS TO GET HERE AND YOUR SAYING I NEED TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS TO GET MY FREAKING BURGER?!  YOU SIR ARE INHUMANE!!”
Tobi pops up from behind Blaze, “Why don’t we just give Princess Peach to Bowser and he’ll let us go?”
Blaze whips around to look at Tobi, “That…Is the smartest thing I heard all day!!” He turns back to Bowser, “Ok! Blond, annoying broad for entrance to White Castle? Deal?!”
Bowser nods. “Sounds good to me!”
Everyone SHOVES Peach forward and Peach exclaims, “I thought you all liked me!”
Harry laughs, “Well exxccuuusssseeee me princess!!”
“And me!” Might guy says.
“And me!” Captain America and Captain Falcon says.
“And me!” Light says.
“KIRA!” L says, “I mean, and me…”
“And…“ Cloud begins but Blaze cuts him off.
“OK THAT’S ENOUGH!!!” and he storms past Bowser and into the White Castle. His crew fallows.
Inside, the crew sees and beautiful girl with pointed ears behind the register. Her name tag reads, “Zelda”.
“Hello! Welcome to White Castle! You must be here for the Golden Slider!”
“You bet your life we are!” Blaze says hunger building.
She laughs, “Here you go! Enjoy!” She hands Blaze a golden bag, and inside the bag is a White Castle burger made out of gold.
“Oh baby.” Blaze’s mouth waters, “The things I had to do to get to you.”
Before Blaze can take a bite, Johnny Yong Bosch snatches it from his hand.
“WHAT GIVES MAN!?” Blaze asks.
The God of all things awesome opens his mouth and eats the burger in one bite, “Thanks! I was hungry!”
Blaze’s eye twitches.  He walks over to cloud and says that Sephiroth said something about his mother, and Cloud walks over and punches Sephiroth in the mouth.

The fallowing is too graphic to describe. (That and I’m too lazy to type the rest of this.)

The world is blown up.  (See I said when Cloud and Sephiroth are together planets go BOOM!!)
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Comments: 1

Tobi-b-Blaze [2008-06-08 19:52:31 +0000 UTC]

I meant to spell miracle. Just before anyone asks.

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