hvymtlExrcst [2006-08-04 09:16:24 +0000 UTC]
For not really trying I think this is fantastic. The imagery, which was already mentioned is terrific. It's got very smooth rhythm and doesn't ever seem to drag at all. Your words flow together naturally and everything lines up exactly as it should. It reads easily and doesn't disapoint. The only criticism, if you care for any, is that I felt the ending came a little too abrubtly. When reading something with such crisp rhythm and meter, I just feel like I want it to keep going and going. Of course that may be why I have difficulty ending poems. It's a difficult process, but you pull it off nicely. Great job.
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