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Description
You've been a naughty girl or boy

Yet Santa still got you a toy

Demented as that may be

That's all fine and well with me

You been the kindest sap all year

Yet for Christmas you don't got no cheer

I give out me own form of

Punitive Justice

and proportional fairness

If you were one who was pure this year

You helped those around you

You brought about cheer

You may just be visited by me

You shall receive a very deep desire

Do not fear for I charge no fee

Those that are black in heart to the date

Shall assist me in delivery

No buts, bargains or debate

The Roomies
"It's Christmas Eve! You know what that means?!" David excitedly yelled.

"Uuuuuuuh, it's the day before Christmas?" His roommate Peyton replied sarcastically, curled up on the couch.

"Yeah that and your fucking rent is due in a week." Luc, the other home resident, angrily spat, dropping an enveloped bill atop his lazy housemate's round face.

David and Luc had put up with Peyton's shit for months ever since they moved in together. The guy said lazy all over him with his unkempt hair, always dirty nails, unhealthily high weight, cracked glasses, and constant sweatpants wearing.

It's 11:53 PM, and Christmas was soon. The holiday happened to nearly coincide with when their landlord expected their overdue payments from earlier in the month, which she had been generous with letting slide for a while without getting too impatient. The three roommates were up late at night for three very different reasons: Lucas had a late shift at work, David had a date and Peyton, well, he had shows to watch.

"My my, someone who doesn't pull their weight, now that is just the worst." A being with a spunky, almost British sounding voice thought aloud.

The being was watching the antics of the three housemates from through a window outside.

"Just a few minutes until the jolly ol' 25th. I'll give these hard workers something to help their troubles."

As Luc and David made themselves some food in the kitchen, the clock struck midnight. It's time.

After wisping through the solid walls, the odd being made his appearance in the kitchen. Before the two in there was a reindeer, standing upon two feet. The men marveled at his high stature, brown and white fur coat, dangerously pointy antlers, wide grin, and red Santa jacket and bag.

"Merry Christmas Sir David and Luc, I've come to deal with your troublesome acquaintance as my present to you," he said with a bow, jingling the bells tied to his coat and antlers.

The two men blinked, looked to each other, then back at the reindeer.

"What're you gonna... do?" David asked.

"Why, I'm going to show you that!" The reindeer said, straightening up from the bow and now wearing a monocle and top hat that he certainly didn't have before. "Your monetary problems shall be no more!"

In a comical flash, the reindeer zipped off, and zipped right back, holding the squirming rent dodger up high by the collar of his shirt.

"What the hell?! Put me down!" Peyton yelled, feebly grabing at the hooves on his shirt that refused to release.

"Tsk tsk, you are the one guilty of not paying your rent. I say it's high time we ensure that you are worth something." With his free hand, the reindeer removed his top hat and handed it to David, then his monocle, which he handed to Luc. Both of the two looked equally confused, but decided to go along with it.

"What's happening- duah?!" Peyton yelled, cut off by his sudden feeling of cold all over.

"What is on every Christmas tree? Why, silver and gold!" the reindeer called out as Peyton started to freeze.

Due to his long clothes, the spectators could only see Peyton stop moving completely, starting at his feet and legs, then his waist, then torso, then the arms. When it reached the hands however, the full view of what was happening was revealed. Peyton's left hand turned bright and a shade of gray, becoming full silver to the tips of the fingers, while his other hand became a vibrant yellow, reducing the glare and showing off just how smooth Peyton's hands have become. The half silver, half gold change continued in a line up his neck and head, putting his face into an unmoving, yet terrified expression. As his hair stopped moving, the reindeer held out his hooved hand to David, clearly asking for his tophat back. David returned the hat, and the reindeer turned over the metal man, shoving his head straight into the cap. Somehow, it went all the way in effortlessly, and the reindeer continued stuffing the statue into the hat like it was a cartoon, until none of it as visible. He then put the hat back into David's hands, showing him it had filled to the brim with flat, unmarked coins of silver and gold.

All David and Luc could do during both the change and the first thirty seconds after it was watch and gawk. The reindeer stood still, awkwardly smiling at them for a while, until Luc finally said something.

"Th-thanks," Was all he could force out.

"Don't worry sonny, the best way to thank me is to continue to be good noodles all year. Oh! There's one more gift I have for the both of ya," The reindeer said, reaching into his large sack.

From the sack he removed a cubed package, with pink wrapping paper and a red bow. He held it out in between the two with one hand, and with the other, pulled the bow to untie it. With a poof, a pink cloud obscured everyone in the room's vision for just about three seconds. When the cloud vanished, the two men had lost all body hair, a few inches of height, a little bit of muscle mass, and something that was very important in the process of having children, and replaced with something more even important. The two girls, still shocked at the whole ordeal, barely had a visible reaction other than gaping, staring faces.

"Luc, this will help you get that promotion at work, as I know they've been wanting to promote more girls, but couldn't find many worthy as like, 95% of their employees are dudes! David, that girl you've been seeing, she's actually, well... closeted you could say. Give it some time and don't come on too strong. I'm off to find more naughty and nice people, for Christmas has just begun!" With that, the two-legged reindeer zipped out the door, bolting down the neighborhood across the thin layers of snow, toward a honking car.

The Distraught One
The reindeer materialized in the mostly empty trunk, about an eighth of his normal size for extra security. Perking his ear up, he listened to the driver's phone call. She was crying and screaming at whoever was on the other end of the line, saying things along the lines of "I'm fine!", "What would you know?!" and "Fuck you!". She sounded rather naughty, but maybe there was a reason for all that nasty talk. He just had to ask why.

The girl hung up her phone, and at the next red light, he took full form in the passenger seat.

"Hey there! What's your name?" The reindeer yelled, now able to see the girl's tall stature, brunette hair, and face streaked with makeup teardrops.

She screamed quickly, then wiped her right eye with her right hand.

"What the hell are you..." she asked, now sounding more mystified than angry as she eyed the enigmatical bodied creature.

"Why I'm a magic reindeer missy, now WHO are you?" The reindeer retorted.

"M-my name is Kyle, how'd you get in here?" she asked with the same bewildered tone.

"Magic of course! Now why're you so upset at that person on the phone?

Kyle turned her attention back to the road and sighed. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I'm just trying to help bring Christmas cheer is all," The reindeer innocently responded.

Kyle gave in, disregarding her suspicions. "I'm not just upset at the person I was calling. My boyfriend broke up with me and I'm just a damn mess. That was my friend trying to comfort me"

"Awe... sounds like you need some cheering up," The reindeer said as he dug through his bag.

Kyle turned her head back to the animal in suspicion. "What're you thinking?" She asked.

"Hold yer horses missy, I'm looking for it..." The reindeer rustled through and poked his head in the sack. "Aha!"

From the sack, he unveiled what appeared to be a rubber ball.

"Is that supposed to be a present for me or something?" Kyle asked.

"Yup! Oh, looks like you were speeding. Gotta go!" The reindeer dropped the ball in the cupholder next to her and was gone in a flash.

"What... I..." Kyle noticed flashing police lights. "Shit! Goddamn reindeer made me distracted."

After pulling over and dealing with the cop who let her off with a warning, Kyle returned her gaze to the ball. She noticed some marker on it read "Smell me". How peculiar... perhaps it was an air freshener? She decided to give the thing a whiff before continuing her drive. Kyle lifted it up, put it about an inch from her nose, and inhaled.

It was the most amazing thing. She felt as if the scent flowed all throughout her body, consequently sending it into pure euphoria. Kyle just had to start giggling like a maniac, but when she went to smell it again, still giggly, it wasn't in her hand anymore. It took a moment, but Kyle realized the ball was right in her vision, on top of her nose. No, it wasn't even just on her nose, it was her nose. Her nose was a red ball! That just made her laugh harder. Kyle put her hand up and gave the new nose a squeeze. That's what you're supposed to do right? As soon as pressure was applied, it honked like a bike horn. Yeah, that's what you have to do. The girl kept squeezing away at her blaring nose. As she did, she didn't happen to notice her skin was becoming a pale, white color and was completely unable to see the red dots that formed on her cheeks. She finally turned her attention to her transformation when she realized her clothes looked different. Her skinny jeans had become thin, white tights, and her top had poofed out, into a long and wide dress, covered in yellow polka dots and red stripes. Harder and harder she laughed, noticing her powdery skin, and pulling out her mirror to take a look at her face when she felt her lips grow rather cold, getting covered in red lipstick. Her shoes that were at first casual tennis shoes were stretched into large, brown ones that were way to big for her. At last, her long, brunette hair receded and was dyed completely pink.

That reindeer was right, she just needed a bit of cheering up. Where'd he go anyway?

Late Night Party
"Christmas parties, where sexy Santas and elves run rampant."

The reindeer observed the alcohol fueled gathering of young adults that walked and danced about, just enjoying their youth.

"Let's see... any perverts here?" The reindeer spotted his target, a man who didn't even appear drunk awkwardly trying to touch every girl he came across. He seemed to have been slapped and punched a lot already, but that was not stopping him. Eventually, the host of the party got sick of him and made him leave. Now's the chance.

As the bastard stepped out into the snow, the reindeer sprinted by and yanked him up before anyone could notice. He covered his next subject's mouth with his hooves before any screams could come from it, and hid in an empty yard the next house over.

"Alright buckaroo, it's time for yer pervy ways to stop." The reindeer said, tossing him to the ground and opening his bag. "I know these people wanted something nice for their backyard, and I'm gonna give it to them." Pulling an orange, plastic ball from his bag, he gave a devious grin to the cowering fella'.

"And... you're rooted in place!" He yelled, winding up his throw and sending the ball flying towards the pervert like a pitcher.

It hit him with a gust of orange mist, causing him to hack and wheeze. He stood up after a few moments, and tried to run off, but found that his feet had been driven underground.

"What the fuck?!" He yelled as he looked down at his ankles sticking out from the ground.

He tried to lift his legs up by pushing off his feet, but they felt... different. It felt like his toes had elongated and spread throughout the ground. The words of the reindeer echoed through his head, "you're rooted in place,", shit.

His legs began to fuse together, the insides feeling like they were large and solid, his skin bulging and pulsing into a thick, wooden armor. Bark! He realized.

"Help! This freak is turning me into a-" They reindeer cut him off by sticking a wad of wrapping paper in his mouth.

"Shut it boy or I'll fill you with termites." He said as the pervert's waist changed into wood as well, ripping off his shorts and boxers. His genitals seemed to become a branch, along with his arms as his torso became another part of the trunk, turning round and thick. Up the bark went, as his torso (or trunk now) shot up to about seven feet tall. His branches started to grow leaves and some kind of fruit spud all over. The leaves looked rather sloped and curved in and the spuds had white flower petals.

He spit out the paper.

"Please, tell me... am I an orange tree?" He asked.

"Don't know what difference it makes, but yes." The reindeer answered as the perv's head began to get engulfed by more growing branches.

The guy gave one last breath of humanity before he became nothing but a tree waiting until next year to spread fruit. The reindeer hung a sign up on one of his branches saying "Merry Christmas" so the owners of the home would know that it was a gift, before making his way to another home.

Job Offer
7:00 AM. Despite the fact that he no longer worked, Jose had gotten accustomed to waking up around this time. He pushed himself into a sitting position. Might as well browse job sites or something. The company he was working at fell onto some hard times, and it eventually had to close its doors for good.

Jose crawled out of bed, and headed to the bathroom, staring into the mirror at his broad figure, black hair, squared face and brown eyes. His reflection stared back... but his wasn't the only one. Behind him, poking around the shower curtain, was an antlered, fuzzy head.

He whirled around. "What the fuck? What're you doing in my house?" He asked the intruder.

"Sorry to enter your home uninvited... I just couldn't help but hear your cries for a job." The reindeer said, pulling back the curtain and stepping out.

"What cries?" Jose asked.

"Your mental ones! So... you want a job then?"

Jose thought for a moment. It did seem odd coming from a two-legged, talking reindeer, but jobs aren't often handed out on silver platters like this.

"What is this job?" Jose asked uncertainly.

"I'll show yeh!" The reindeer exclaimed, slapping a headband atop Jose's head.

"Wha-? What is this?" he asked, trying and failing to pull it off. "What did you do?"

The headband then seemed to disappear by merging into his skull.

"A girl had wanted a special kind of butler, you're gonna fill that role, after some adjustments..."

Much of Jose's muscle power was lost right then and their, slimming down and making him thin, yet not exactly scrawny. With his falling in muscle power, came a falling in height as well.

"Why am I..." Jose started

"Why are you what?" The reindeer asked

"Why am I-" Jose was cut off by another strange feeling, building up in his ears. They were moving up his skull!

He turned to the mirror behind him to get a look at his changing ears, and saw they were covered in thin, black fur that matched the rest of his hair.

"What the hell?" He asked as his ears became pointed, and curved inward like a half circle. "They look like... cat ears?"

"It was always this girl's dream to have an attractive cat boy butler!" The reindeer responded. "A strange desire but not the strangest I've seen."

With that, a feeling of something pushing out of Jose's back arose, and he looked to find the source of it. He saw small, black tail sticking out from below his shirt. It grew longer and longer, covering itself in thin fur and lightly twitching. It eventually reached about three feet in length.

"There we go! Adjustments made! You're ready to start work!" The reindeer picked up Jose before he had a chance to protest and dropped him in his sack. Moments later, Jose was at the foot of his new boss' (master's?) bed. The young woman stirred awake and saw him and let out a small gasp.

Jose let a long "uh" before just going with ol' reliable. "Meow?"

He was then showered with a flurry of hugs and being told he was "so freaking cute". Maybe he can roll with this...

Cable TV
"Man, how come the only things on TV right now are Christmas movies." The blond said to his blonde girlfriend as he flipped through the channels.

"I know, and most of them are Home Alone. Home Alone sucks." She replied, her boyfriend nodding in agreement.

Just then, a loud crash reverberated through their home as their front door was knocked right off its hinges. More crashes were heard as the approaching entity burst through their walls until he reached the TV room.

"You uncultured swines! Home Alone is a masterpiece!" The reindeer said as he stared down at the two in low regard. "Naughty!"

The couple sitting on the couch were frozen in fear, then quite literally frozen in ice when the reindeer tossed some snow from his shoulder on them.

"I just need a moment to decide what to do with you two... I know!"

He reached into his bag and revealed some bells in between his hooves. He vigorously shook the bells, sending out a loud sound that caused the frozen figures to shatter so much, they were reduced to snow. Next up, the reindeer sat down and got to work, still feeling their consciousnesses attached to the snow. He rolled up six snowballs, and built two snowmen with three each. On the boyfriend's new body he put a pipe, a top hat, and a carrot nose. On the girlfriend's, he placed a scarf, wool hat, and another carrot nose. The two snowmen then sprang to life and looked at each other in shock.

"Might wanna make plans to move somewhere colder. See ya around!" With that quick job done, the reindeer set his sights on what will be the main attraction of this year's Christmas. A family reunion.

Improved Reunion
"Oh family dinners, how easily you can be corrupted by some politics, snottiness, or even just bad food." The reindeer said, observing the cluster of a small yet dysfunctional family trying to have a reunion.

"Let's see, we got the racist uncle on a rant, the couple with a failing marriage, the greedy eater, the picky eater, and the poor young boy getting picked on by his cousin as the adults go about their business... this reminds me of that Michael Dougherty film." The reindeer rubbed his hooves together and devised a plan as he picked out the naughty and the nice family members in his mind (there were only two nice and six naughty). Zooming over to the front door, he rasped his hooves upon it and waited for someone to answer. After about a minute, a middle aged woman opened up the door and lightly gasped.

"Naughty you are..." The reindeer said before whipping out a bucket and pouring it over the stunned woman's head. The red and sticky contents of the bucket poured all over her, and soon she was melted and reduced to a simple rubber ball, along with everything on her person. No one had seen as the dining room was around a corner and down a hallway, but someone did call out to the woman who had answered the door.

"Hey Jen! Who was that?" The raspy voice said.

The reindeer chuckled to himself and walked toward the direction of the voice's source. When he rounded the corner, he saw the man on the racially offensive rant from earlier.

"Naughty as well, you didn't even bring any gifts." He said before dropping a shoebox upon the man's head, pulling him into it. When he turned the box around, there was a nice new pair of hiking boots inside, without a sign anyone was there before.

A few more steps and a left turn and everyone in the dining room turned to see their uninvited guest.

"Hello everyone, I come bearing gifts and punishments! For you young Mathew..." He tossed the ball to the little bullied boy. "...now where was that woman who was slaving away in the kitchen without any thanks?" Right on cue, another middle aged woman, though with a less grumpy and more tired look to her than the one who became a ball, entered the dining room through a door that led to the kitchen and stopped in shock like everyone else.

"Ah yes, I have some new boots for you." He said before tossing her former uncle to her.

"Now, for you two who have trouble appreciating your meals," He said, turning to the fat man who was gobbling down like the world was ending and the pushy and rude girl who decided to not inform the cook she was vegetarian. "I'll make you appreciate the value of good food."

With that, the reindeer whipped out two silver plates, and threw them like a frisbee to each of them. They caught them, but that didn't matter, for as soon as their fingers were laid upon those plates, their fates were sealed. The large man would feel himself be pulled onto the plate and shrunk down to size so that he may sit upon it, which he was forced to do as pounds of frosting would appear out of nowhere and spread all over him. He would make muffled screams as he was heated up and compacted into a cake dough, and stuck in that place, now a lumpy, frosted, chocolate cake. The other victim was also shrunk down and pulled onto her plate, then was consequently wrapped some form of smooth, artificial casing. Inside of her new cocoon, she was reduced into a long piece of meat, putting a sausage on her plate.

"There we go, now they can surely see the significance of food," said the creature who had just transformed them as he turned to the husband of his first victim.

"Now your wife was bad, but you buddy, the stuff that came out of your mouth is probably illegal in all places without free-speech laws." He said as he ruffled through his sack.

The terrified man tried to run to an exit, but tripped over on a chair leg, hitting the ground with a rumbling sound that went throughout the floor.

"My what a dog you are... hey! That's it!" The reindeer said, stepping over to his next victim and snapping a collar that he pulled
from his sack around his neck.

Everyone watched in awe as the man grew messy, golden-yellow hair all over his body, before his waist and shoulders moved to fuse with his torso and make him stand on all fours. His legs and arms thinned as their joints creaked, creating faster and more powerful limbs, which were all legs naturally. His pants fell off as a furred tail pushed out from his spine. He groaned as his feet and hands turned to paws, and his nails to dull claws. Finally, his ears flopped aside and his face pushed out, turning his nose up while wetting and blackening it. His eyes shrunk down and turned brown, completing his change.

The little boy toting the ball laughed, and went over to pet the new dog as the reindeer turned to the nervous boy guilty of bullying.

"I'd transform you, but honestly, with your face, if I made you anything else it would just be a blessing." The reindeer said, the boy yelping from a burn wound on his foot after being roasted so hard. "Toodles." He said before bouncing off through an open window (was that opened before?).

The boy ran over and yelled out to the reindeer. "Wait!" He shouted. "What do I call you?"

The reindeer turned back to him and said "You can call me Gracer!" Before hopping off into the night.

Epilogue
Gracer returned to his little home cabin and looked to the clock that read 10:49 PM. Midnight is soon, this Christmas was almost over. Feeling satisfied with the work he had done, he tossed his coat and sack into the closet and sat down with a sigh. His house mate, a little one named Tam who always wore an orange costume and burlap sack over his head, walked by and up the stairs, sucking on candy cane that looked dangerously sharp.

Gracer flipped on his TV and changed it to one of the many channels airing Christmas films all day (he won't complain about that).

"Now we just gotta wait until next year." He thought.

Description
You've been a naughty girl or boy

Yet Santa still got you a toy

Demented as that may be

That's all fine and well with me

You been the kindest sap all year

Yet for Christmas you don't got no cheer

I give out me own form of

Punitive Justice

and proportional fairness

If you were one who was pure this year

You helped those around you

You brought about cheer

You may just be visited by me

You shall receive a very deep desire

Do not fear for I charge no fee

Those that are black in heart to the date

Shall assist me in delivery

No buts, bargains or debate

The Roomies
"It's Christmas Eve! You know what that means?!" David excitedly yelled.

"Uuuuuuuh, it's the day before Christmas?" His roommate Peyton replied sarcastically, curled up on the couch.

"Yeah that and your fucking rent is due in a week." Luc, the other home resident, angrily spat, dropping an enveloped bill atop his lazy housemate's round face.

David and Luc had put up with Peyton's shit for months ever since they moved in together. The guy said lazy all over him with his unkempt hair, always dirty nails, unhealthily high weight, cracked glasses, and constant sweatpants wearing.

It's 11:53 PM, and Christmas was soon. The holiday happened to nearly coincide with when their landlord expected their overdue payments from earlier in the month, which she had been generous with letting slide for a while without getting too impatient. The three roommates were up late at night for three very different reasons: Lucas had a late shift at work, David had a date and Peyton, well, he had shows to watch.

"My my, someone who doesn't pull their weight, now that is just the worst." A being with a spunky, almost British sounding voice thought aloud.

The being was watching the antics of the three housemates from through a window outside.

"Just a few minutes until the jolly ol' 25th. I'll give these hard workers something to help their troubles."

As Luc and David made themselves some food in the kitchen, the clock struck midnight. It's time.

After wisping through the solid walls, the odd being made his appearance in the kitchen. Before the two in there was a reindeer, standing upon two feet. The men marveled at his high stature, brown and white fur coat, dangerously pointy antlers, wide grin, and red Santa jacket and bag.

"Merry Christmas Sir David and Luc, I've come to deal with your troublesome acquaintance as my present to you," he said with a bow, jingling the bells tied to his coat and antlers.

The two men blinked, looked to each other, then back at the reindeer.

"What're you gonna... do?" David asked.

"Why, I'm going to show you that!" The reindeer said, straightening up from the bow and now wearing a monocle and top hat that he certainly didn't have before. "Your monetary problems shall be no more!"

In a comical flash, the reindeer zipped off, and zipped right back, holding the squirming rent dodger up high by the collar of his shirt.

"What the hell?! Put me down!" Peyton yelled, feebly grabing at the hooves on his shirt that refused to release.

"Tsk tsk, you are the one guilty of not paying your rent. I say it's high time we ensure that you are worth something." With his free hand, the reindeer removed his top hat and handed it to David, then his monocle, which he handed to Luc. Both of the two looked equally confused, but decided to go along with it.

"What's happening- duah?!" Peyton yelled, cut off by his sudden feeling of cold all over.

"What is on every Christmas tree? Why, silver and gold!" the reindeer called out as Peyton started to freeze.

Due to his long clothes, the spectators could only see Peyton stop moving completely, starting at his feet and legs, then his waist, then torso, then the arms. When it reached the hands however, the full view of what was happening was revealed. Peyton's left hand turned bright and a shade of gray, becoming full silver to the tips of the fingers, while his other hand became a vibrant yellow, reducing the glare and showing off just how smooth Peyton's hands have become. The half silver, half gold change continued in a line up his neck and head, putting his face into an unmoving, yet terrified expression. As his hair stopped moving, the reindeer held out his hooved hand to David, clearly asking for his tophat back. David returned the hat, and the reindeer turned over the metal man, shoving his head straight into the cap. Somehow, it went all the way in effortlessly, and the reindeer continued stuffing the statue into the hat like it was a cartoon, until none of it as visible. He then put the hat back into David's hands, showing him it had filled to the brim with flat, unmarked coins of silver and gold.

All David and Luc could do during both the change and the first thirty seconds after it was watch and gawk. The reindeer stood still, awkwardly smiling at them for a while, until Luc finally said something.

"Th-thanks," Was all he could force out.

"Don't worry sonny, the best way to thank me is to continue to be good noodles all year. Oh! There's one more gift I have for the both of ya," The reindeer said, reaching into his large sack.

From the sack he removed a cubed package, with pink wrapping paper and a red bow. He held it out in between the two with one hand, and with the other, pulled the bow to untie it. With a poof, a pink cloud obscured everyone in the room's vision for just about three seconds. When the cloud vanished, the two men had lost all body hair, a few inches of height, a little bit of muscle mass, and something that was very important in the process of having children, and replaced with something more even important. The two girls, still shocked at the whole ordeal, barely had a visible reaction other than gaping, staring faces.

"Luc, this will help you get that promotion at work, as I know they've been wanting to promote more girls, but couldn't find many worthy as like, 95% of their employees are dudes! David, that girl you've been seeing, she's actually, well... closeted you could say. Give it some time and don't come on too strong. I'm off to find more naughty and nice people, for Christmas has just begun!" With that, the two-legged reindeer zipped out the door, bolting down the neighborhood across the thin layers of snow, toward a honking car.

The Distraught One
The reindeer materialized in the mostly empty trunk, about an eighth of his normal size for extra security. Perking his ear up, he listened to the driver's phone call. She was crying and screaming at whoever was on the other end of the line, saying things along the lines of "I'm fine!", "What would you know?!" and "Fuck you!". She sounded rather naughty, but maybe there was a reason for all that nasty talk. He just had to ask why.

The girl hung up her phone, and at the next red light, he took full form in the passenger seat.

"Hey there! What's your name?" The reindeer yelled, now able to see the girl's tall stature, brunette hair, and face streaked with makeup teardrops.

She screamed quickly, then wiped her right eye with her right hand.

"What the hell are you..." she asked, now sounding more mystified than angry as she eyed the enigmatical bodied creature.

"Why I'm a magic reindeer missy, now WHO are you?" The reindeer retorted.

"M-my name is Kyle, how'd you get in here?" she asked with the same bewildered tone.

"Magic of course! Now why're you so upset at that person on the phone?

Kyle turned her attention back to the road and sighed. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I'm just trying to help bring Christmas cheer is all," The reindeer innocently responded.

Kyle gave in, disregarding her suspicions. "I'm not just upset at the person I was calling. My boyfriend broke up with me and I'm just a damn mess. That was my friend trying to comfort me"

"Awe... sounds like you need some cheering up," The reindeer said as he dug through his bag.

Kyle turned her head back to the animal in suspicion. "What're you thinking?" She asked.

"Hold yer horses missy, I'm looking for it..." The reindeer rustled through and poked his head in the sack. "Aha!"

From the sack, he unveiled what appeared to be a rubber ball.

"Is that supposed to be a present for me or something?" Kyle asked.

"Yup! Oh, looks like you were speeding. Gotta go!" The reindeer dropped the ball in the cupholder next to her and was gone in a flash.

"What... I..." Kyle noticed flashing police lights. "Shit! Goddamn reindeer made me distracted."

After pulling over and dealing with the cop who let her off with a warning, Kyle returned her gaze to the ball. She noticed some marker on it read "Smell me". How peculiar... perhaps it was an air freshener? She decided to give the thing a whiff before continuing her drive. Kyle lifted it up, put it about an inch from her nose, and inhaled.

It was the most amazing thing. She felt as if the scent flowed all throughout her body, consequently sending it into pure euphoria. Kyle just had to start giggling like a maniac, but when she went to smell it again, still giggly, it wasn't in her hand anymore. It took a moment, but Kyle realized the ball was right in her vision, on top of her nose. No, it wasn't even just on her nose, it was her nose. Her nose was a red ball! That just made her laugh harder. Kyle put her hand up and gave the new nose a squeeze. That's what you're supposed to do right? As soon as pressure was applied, it honked like a bike horn. Yeah, that's what you have to do. The girl kept squeezing away at her blaring nose. As she did, she didn't happen to notice her skin was becoming a pale, white color and was completely unable to see the red dots that formed on her cheeks. She finally turned her attention to her transformation when she realized her clothes looked different. Her skinny jeans had become thin, white tights, and her top had poofed out, into a long and wide dress, covered in yellow polka dots and red stripes. Harder and harder she laughed, noticing her powdery skin, and pulling out her mirror to take a look at her face when she felt her lips grow rather cold, getting covered in red lipstick. Her shoes that were at first casual tennis shoes were stretched into large, brown ones that were way to big for her. At last, her long, brunette hair receded and was dyed completely pink.

That reindeer was right, she just needed a bit of cheering up. Where'd he go anyway?

Late Night Party
"Christmas parties, where sexy Santas and elves run rampant."

The reindeer observed the alcohol fueled gathering of young adults that walked and danced about, just enjoying their youth.

"Let's see... any perverts here?" The reindeer spotted his target, a man who didn't even appear drunk awkwardly trying to touch every girl he came across. He seemed to have been slapped and punched a lot already, but that was not stopping him. Eventually, the host of the party got sick of him and made him leave. Now's the chance.

As the bastard stepped out into the snow, the reindeer sprinted by and yanked him up before anyone could notice. He covered his next subject's mouth with his hooves before any screams could come from it, and hid in an empty yard the next house over.

"Alright buckaroo, it's time for yer pervy ways to stop." The reindeer said, tossing him to the ground and opening his bag. "I know these people wanted something nice for their backyard, and I'm gonna give it to them." Pulling an orange, plastic ball from his bag, he gave a devious grin to the cowering fella'.

"And... you're rooted in place!" He yelled, winding up his throw and sending the ball flying towards the pervert like a pitcher.

It hit him with a gust of orange mist, causing him to hack and wheeze. He stood up after a few moments, and tried to run off, but found that his feet had been driven underground.

"What the fuck?!" He yelled as he looked down at his ankles sticking out from the ground.

He tried to lift his legs up by pushing off his feet, but they felt... different. It felt like his toes had elongated and spread throughout the ground. The words of the reindeer echoed through his head, "you're rooted in place,", shit.

His legs began to fuse together, the insides feeling like they were large and solid, his skin bulging and pulsing into a thick, wooden armor. Bark! He realized.

"Help! This freak is turning me into a-" They reindeer cut him off by sticking a wad of wrapping paper in his mouth.

"Shut it boy or I'll fill you with termites." He said as the pervert's waist changed into wood as well, ripping off his shorts and boxers. His genitals seemed to become a branch, along with his arms as his torso became another part of the trunk, turning round and thick. Up the bark went, as his torso (or trunk now) shot up to about seven feet tall. His branches started to grow leaves and some kind of fruit spud all over. The leaves looked rather sloped and curved in and the spuds had white flower petals.

He spit out the paper.

"Please, tell me... am I an orange tree?" He asked.

"Don't know what difference it makes, but yes." The reindeer answered as the perv's head began to get engulfed by more growing branches.

The guy gave one last breath of humanity before he became nothing but a tree waiting until next year to spread fruit. The reindeer hung a sign up on one of his branches saying "Merry Christmas" so the owners of the home would know that it was a gift, before making his way to another home.

Job Offer
7:00 AM. Despite the fact that he no longer worked, Jose had gotten accustomed to waking up around this time. He pushed himself into a sitting position. Might as well browse job sites or something. The company he was working at fell onto some hard times, and it eventually had to close its doors for good.

Jose crawled out of bed, and headed to the bathroom, staring into the mirror at his broad figure, black hair, squared face and brown eyes. His reflection stared back... but his wasn't the only one. Behind him, poking around the shower curtain, was an antlered, fuzzy head.

He whirled around. "What the fuck? What're you doing in my house?" He asked the intruder.

"Sorry to enter your home uninvited... I just couldn't help but hear your cries for a job." The reindeer said, pulling back the curtain and stepping out.

"What cries?" Jose asked.

"Your mental ones! So... you want a job then?"

Jose thought for a moment. It did seem odd coming from a two-legged, talking reindeer, but jobs aren't often handed out on silver platters like this.

"What is this job?" Jose asked uncertainly.

"I'll show yeh!" The reindeer exclaimed, slapping a headband atop Jose's head.

"Wha-? What is this?" he asked, trying and failing to pull it off. "What did you do?"

The headband then seemed to disappear by merging into his skull.

"A girl had wanted a special kind of butler, you're gonna fill that role, after some adjustments..."

Much of Jose's muscle power was lost right then and their, slimming down and making him thin, yet not exactly scrawny. With his falling in muscle power, came a falling in height as well.

"Why am I..." Jose started

"Why are you what?" The reindeer asked

"Why am I-" Jose was cut off by another strange feeling, building up in his ears. They were moving up his skull!

He turned to the mirror behind him to get a look at his changing ears, and saw they were covered in thin, black fur that matched the rest of his hair.

"What the hell?" He asked as his ears became pointed, and curved inward like a half circle. "They look like... cat ears?"

"It was always this girl's dream to have an attractive cat boy butler!" The reindeer responded. "A strange desire but not the strangest I've seen."

With that, a feeling of something pushing out of Jose's back arose, and he looked to find the source of it. He saw small, black tail sticking out from below his shirt. It grew longer and longer, covering itself in thin fur and lightly twitching. It eventually reached about three feet in length.

"There we go! Adjustments made! You're ready to start work!" The reindeer picked up Jose before he had a chance to protest and dropped him in his sack. Moments later, Jose was at the foot of his new boss' (master's?) bed. The young woman stirred awake and saw him and let out a small gasp.

Jose let a long "uh" before just going with ol' reliable. "Meow?"

He was then showered with a flurry of hugs and being told he was "so freaking cute". Maybe he can roll with this...

Cable TV
"Man, how come the only things on TV right now are Christmas movies." The blond said to his blonde girlfriend as he flipped through the channels.

"I know, and most of them are Home Alone. Home Alone sucks." She replied, her boyfriend nodding in agreement.

Just then, a loud crash reverberated through their home as their front door was knocked right off its hinges. More crashes were heard as the approaching entity burst through their walls until he reached the TV room.

"You uncultured swines! Home Alone is a masterpiece!" The reindeer said as he stared down at the two in low regard. "Naughty!"

The couple sitting on the couch were frozen in fear, then quite literally frozen in ice when the reindeer tossed some snow from his shoulder on them.

"I just need a moment to decide what to do with you two... I know!"

He reached into his bag and revealed some bells in between his hooves. He vigorously shook the bells, sending out a loud sound that caused the frozen figures to shatter so much, they were reduced to snow. Next up, the reindeer sat down and got to work, still feeling their consciousnesses attached to the snow. He rolled up six snowballs, and built two snowmen with three each. On the boyfriend's new body he put a pipe, a top hat, and a carrot nose. On the girlfriend's, he placed a scarf, wool hat, and another carrot nose. The two snowmen then sprang to life and looked at each other in shock.

"Might wanna make plans to move somewhere colder. See ya around!" With that quick job done, the reindeer set his sights on what will be the main attraction of this year's Christmas. A family reunion.

Improved Reunion
"Oh family dinners, how easily you can be corrupted by some politics, snottiness, or even just bad food." The reindeer said, observing the cluster of a small yet dysfunctional family trying to have a reunion.

"Let's see, we got the racist uncle on a rant, the couple with a failing marriage, the greedy eater, the picky eater, and the poor young boy getting picked on by his cousin as the adults go about their business... this reminds me of that Michael Dougherty film." The reindeer rubbed his hooves together and devised a plan as he picked out the naughty and the nice family members in his mind (there were only two nice and six naughty). Zooming over to the front door, he rasped his hooves upon it and waited for someone to answer. After about a minute, a middle aged woman opened up the door and lightly gasped.

"Naughty you are..." The reindeer said before whipping out a bucket and pouring it over the stunned woman's head. The red and sticky contents of the bucket poured all over her, and soon she was melted and reduced to a simple rubber ball, along with everything on her person. No one had seen as the dining room was around a corner and down a hallway, but someone did call out to the woman who had answered the door.

"Hey Jen! Who was that?" The raspy voice said.

The reindeer chuckled to himself and walked toward the direction of the voice's source. When he rounded the corner, he saw the man on the racially offensive rant from earlier.

"Naughty as well, you didn't even bring any gifts." He said before dropping a shoebox upon the man's head, pulling him into it. When he turned the box around, there was a nice new pair of hiking boots inside, without a sign anyone was there before.

A few more steps and a left turn and everyone in the dining room turned to see their uninvited guest.

"Hello everyone, I come bearing gifts and punishments! For you young Mathew..." He tossed the ball to the little bullied boy. "...now where was that woman who was slaving away in the kitchen without any thanks?" Right on cue, another middle aged woman, though with a less grumpy and more tired look to her than the one who became a ball, entered the dining room through a door that led to the kitchen and stopped in shock like everyone else.

"Ah yes, I have some new boots for you." He said before tossing her former uncle to her.

"Now, for you two who have trouble appreciating your meals," He said, turning to the fat man who was gobbling down like the world was ending and the pushy and rude girl who decided to not inform the cook she was vegetarian. "I'll make you appreciate the value of good food."

With that, the reindeer whipped out two silver plates, and threw them like a frisbee to each of them. They caught them, but that didn't matter, for as soon as their fingers were laid upon those plates, their fates were sealed. The large man would feel himself be pulled onto the plate and shrunk down to size so that he may sit upon it, which he was forced to do as pounds of frosting would appear out of nowhere and spread all over him. He would make muffled screams as he was heated up and compacted into a cake dough, and stuck in that place, now a lumpy, frosted, chocolate cake. The other victim was also shrunk down and pulled onto her plate, then was consequently wrapped some form of smooth, artificial casing. Inside of her new cocoon, she was reduced into a long piece of meat, putting a sausage on her plate.

"There we go, now they can surely see the significance of food," said the creature who had just transformed them as he turned to the husband of his first victim.

"Now your wife was bad, but you buddy, the stuff that came out of your mouth is probably illegal in all places without free-speech laws." He said as he ruffled through his sack.

The terrified man tried to run to an exit, but tripped over on a chair leg, hitting the ground with a rumbling sound that went throughout the floor.

"My what a dog you are... hey! That's it!" The reindeer said, stepping over to his next victim and snapping a collar that he pulled
from his sack around his neck.

Everyone watched in awe as the man grew messy, golden-yellow hair all over his body, before his waist and shoulders moved to fuse with his torso and make him stand on all fours. His legs and arms thinned as their joints creaked, creating faster and more powerful limbs, which were all legs naturally. His pants fell off as a furred tail pushed out from his spine. He groaned as his feet and hands turned to paws, and his nails to dull claws. Finally, his ears flopped aside and his face pushed out, turning his nose up while wetting and blackening it. His eyes shrunk down and turned brown, completing his change.

The little boy toting the ball laughed, and went over to pet the new dog as the reindeer turned to the nervous boy guilty of bullying.

"I'd transform you, but honestly, with your face, if I made you anything else it would just be a blessing." The reindeer said, the boy yelping from a burn wound on his foot after being roasted so hard. "Toodles." He said before bouncing off through an open window (was that opened before?).

The boy ran over and yelled out to the reindeer. "Wait!" He shouted. "What do I call you?"

The reindeer turned back to him and said "You can call me Gracer!" Before hopping off into the night.

Epilogue
Gracer returned to his little home cabin and looked to the clock that read 10:49 PM. Midnight is soon, this Christmas was almost over. Feeling satisfied with the work he had done, he tossed his coat and sack into the closet and sat down with a sigh. His house mate, a little one named Tam who always wore an orange costume and burlap sack over his head, walked by and up the stairs, sucking on candy cane that looked dangerously sharp.

Gracer flipped on his TV and changed it to one of the many channels airing Christmas films all day (he won't complain about that).

"Now we just gotta wait until next year." He thought.