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Lying in bed and it’s past the third hour.
I’m lying in bed and my stomach feels sour.
It’s not that I’m nervous; my insides are burning.
It’s not that I’m nervous; my stomach is churning.

Ridiculous! Come on, how often before
Have you gone to his house and lounged round on his floor?
In fairness, it wasn’t exactly like this.
I didn’t know that we were going to kiss.

All my memories of him come crowding together:
The dance where I knew he belonged to another,
The hand on my hair when he said he was free,
And the sweet, secret smile that let on he liked me.

To attack him the instant I come through the door
Seems too brusque and efficient – I’ve got to wait more?
Hesitate, and he’ll think that my love’s on the wane.
We’ll be back to the same God-damned friendship again.

It’s not that I’ve “never been kissed” any more.
I’ve just not had this much advance warning before.
You know even the best of us get some stage fright;
It’s not totally stupid to panic all night.

All my hopes for the morning crowd at the same time:
Now his hand on my arm like a glass of strong wine,
Now his making me glow, through the angst and the stress,
With that old, well-worn smile I’ve just got to caress.

So tell me, myself, why on Earth would I sleep
When the sweetest of dreams is the morning’s to reap,
Or, if nightmares and failure are coming my way,
When to close my eyes now is to hasten the day?

I can’t cope if it’s awkward! For two pins I’d lurk,
Call off meeting tomorrow and stay home and work,
but I’ve grown just too stubborn to sit here and pine
For a boy whom I once let put his hand in mine.

All my hopes and my memories are filling my head,
And I can’t settle down and I can’t go to bed.
It’s my second run through. Maybe this time I’ll shine,
Because a boy I once danced with is finally mine.