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i text you every night saying
goodnight and don't call because
it's late and i have to get up early.
sometimes, i secretly hope you
do call and then other times
(most of the time now)
i really hope you don't.

but you do anyways and you
end up talking about the newest
girl in your life and how you don't
want anyone else.
(and i still can't let go.)

we fight, yell, and you say
hurtful things to me that
make me stop breathing
and i stop talking. i say how
i hate your bad mood and
how i wish i could stop
this from happening to us,to
me, to you. but i can't.
God knows i can't save us anymore.

my best friend calls and we have
a three way call. you tell me
you put up a front. and i think
how special i must be to experience
the real you
but then i remember how you
yell at me and tell me to stop
talking...we both don't want anyone
to know that. so my mouth is shut
closed. and my heart goes on
lock down. and for the first time
you can't make me feel safe.

i remember how you used to be
and now you tell me how you
hate yourself.
the one thing we still
have in common is...i hate
you now too.