HOME | DD

Description
Having social anxiety fucking sucks.

I'm afraid of just about everything I don't know... I can't trust a single person fully. I can't even go into any establishment alone without panicking. People always used to invite me to places like the mall, but I always say no because I know I'll be freaked out. They've stopped asking at this point... I've broken down being alone in grocery stores, shaking, wanting to hide. When I was young, I would have to leave birthday parties because I'd feel so neglected and actually sometimes start crying in a corner.
I think a lot of it comes from how heavily bullied I was up to the 8th grade when I moved schools.
My boyfriend gets pretty mad at me sometimes because of it as well... He really has a hard time understanding it. And him being more social causes us a lot of problems. I understand how it can be frustrating; however it still hurts very badly when he gets angry over it.
Being abnormally insecure and full of self-hate makes it even more difficult, but that's another story.
I know there are worse problems out there, but I wanted to vent a little bit about this. I know a lot of you understand what it's like, so I thought this would be the best place to talk about it.
I really am trying to overcome it. I try to talk to people more, and I'm really working on trying to be nicer and less hateful towards people. (I'm not an asshole, but I just have so much anger towards everything.) I'm also trying to avoid noticing people around me, but it's gonna take awhile before I can stop being like this.
I haven't had a lot of panic attacks recently, so that's a pretty good thing.
And no, I'm not looking for sympathy. I just wanted to talk about it.

On a brighter note, and somewhat because of this, I think I've finally decided to make my fursona a Deer. I've been trying to make a better design, and it's really not wanting to work ._.

Description
Having social anxiety fucking sucks.

I'm afraid of just about everything I don't know... I can't trust a single person fully. I can't even go into any establishment alone without panicking. People always used to invite me to places like the mall, but I always say no because I know I'll be freaked out. They've stopped asking at this point... I've broken down being alone in grocery stores, shaking, wanting to hide. When I was young, I would have to leave birthday parties because I'd feel so neglected and actually sometimes start crying in a corner.
I think a lot of it comes from how heavily bullied I was up to the 8th grade when I moved schools.
My boyfriend gets pretty mad at me sometimes because of it as well... He really has a hard time understanding it. And him being more social causes us a lot of problems. I understand how it can be frustrating; however it still hurts very badly when he gets angry over it.
Being abnormally insecure and full of self-hate makes it even more difficult, but that's another story.
I know there are worse problems out there, but I wanted to vent a little bit about this. I know a lot of you understand what it's like, so I thought this would be the best place to talk about it.
I really am trying to overcome it. I try to talk to people more, and I'm really working on trying to be nicer and less hateful towards people. (I'm not an asshole, but I just have so much anger towards everything.) I'm also trying to avoid noticing people around me, but it's gonna take awhile before I can stop being like this.
I haven't had a lot of panic attacks recently, so that's a pretty good thing.
And no, I'm not looking for sympathy. I just wanted to talk about it.

On a brighter note, and somewhat because of this, I think I've finally decided to make my fursona a Deer. I've been trying to make a better design, and it's really not wanting to work ._.