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undesireable — reminding
Published: 2003-11-05 01:51:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 271; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 11
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Description
Twirling serenity, locks of hair,intwined to despair.
Shattered, light smoke,
somberly engulfing the air.
Fisting mirrors,
of no reflection.
Broken thoughts, trangress agression.
face-raping walls,
faith falls,
to a depthless void.
Crimson tears deflower the canvas.
Diminished self.
Denial, perfect infatuation,
over a senseless,
affection.
It's just the way,
of just another day.
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Comments: 18
bloody hell, that rules! i love the rythm (i can't spell...) and use of words. it's great
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thanks for the comment & fav. greatly apreciated.
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The shifting meter of this piece immediately drew me in. I almost felt the bitterness that was being nearly radiated from this poem. Damn near anyone could stamp this into some part of their life so yeah..
I really like how "she" first comes across as so hmmm.. I can't think of a good word so I'll just say "lovely" only to be twisted towhere anyone could hate her. Hell I hate her! Yes.. FUCK HER.. but thank her for giving you inspiration for writing such an insightful piece.
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You did indeed do a good job of wrapping it up, but I know, for you it will never be wrapped up till you forgive yourself for loving her.
It is sad what we will do to ourselves over loving someone. I hope you can close the door.
Meanwhile........you need a
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coool. i missed ur work. but this made up for it. good job man
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::flattered::. thanks a lot, your comments always cheer me up in some dismal way, which to me is a good thing.
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excellent. now do my bidding and fetch me the candle stick maker. muahahah. cheer man its almost christmass in a month thingy
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gahhhh how i loath the holidays, it's only worth while if i get what i want. christmas is just another word for a family-atomic-bombchainreactioninmyhead. but i can always try.
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U SAID BOMBS!!!!!!!!! maahaha (thoughts of bombs) WEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!take that math homework
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very nice complete piece. its a good example of general human angst. the variation in the rhyming also make it especially interesting.
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yep, i spose it's ok. thanks lots.
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really, it's suppose to mean the cycle of it all, but to me i guess i'm the only one who understands that. and yeah, there really wasnt any 'cliffhanging' action.
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Enjoyable piece although you might want to watch the 'crimson tears' reference because that is becoming a little overdone now-a-days. Other than that minor grief (Yeah, I know, I can be a real pain in the ....) I liked it and I feel for ya. This month seems to be the month for this type of thing and well, cheer up man! *laughs*
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thanks, and yeah i loath the fact i used those choice of words, but at that point it was all i could say. i've never used it before because of that. thanks.
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nice wording, good imagery
who cares whos it to, its good whoever it is
(Fuck him)
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mmm.... very, interesting... but whom might this be to?
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