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Vanga-Vangog — Shura Lore

#alien #aliencreature #alieninvasion #insectoid #originalcharacter
Published: 2022-06-04 11:53:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 26182; Favourites: 307; Downloads: 23
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Description A sequel to this post , elaborating on Shura himself, his babysitter, and the world they live in.



alexei_sidelkin_&_shura Q&A stream highlights:

--ou hear me?... Alright... Well, hello. Here's Alexei... How you doing, people?... Um... I guess we wait till enough of you come in...
>
So, this is a Q&A stream. The first Q&A stream. You know, there was so many of you after that video dropped that I couldn't keep track of your questions, let alone reply to all that. So... Now we'll have these streams from time to time, so that I don't have to copypaste shit all day... Just write any questions in chat, I'll read those that I like.
>
"How did you get Shura living with you, did he just walk in and asked to stay?"
Um... Ok, good question. So, the story was: I got one influential... let's say, distant relative. Who deals with aliens regularly. A former collaborator (sighs), of fucking course, but let's not go there. He deals with aliens, and some of his partners are these same species as Shura. Sarisaphallids. They did something for him, and he owed them, and one of them had Shura as... either a son, or a friend, I don't remember... and he wanted to start a new life on Earth. You know that. He agreed to organize him this new life, helped him study, make all the documents, and other stuff. He lived in Moscow for some time. Then I don't really know what happened, maybe he just didn't wanna fucking bother with him anymore... But he dumped him on me. Probably told him our shithole of a town was the most authentic place on Earth. Must see. And well, he's kinda a busy guy and he helped me out in the past, so I wasn't gonna refuse. (sighs) And that's how I got Shura.
>
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him really. He's just annoying, that's all I'm saying. I can't return him to the guy, 'cause he's done so much for me, but I wouldn't... uh, necessarily want it. Like, I can totally tolerate him. Especially now, after Daria made that video about us, and I can make money off of just filming him, hehe. Subscribe, by the way.
>
"How's Shura's dummy friend doin?"
He's doing fine... It's not been his breeding season yet, so Shura's quite calm. Hasn't felt much need to visit him, if you know what I mean.
By the way, I hate how much he misses. The wall in his room is totally fucked... I guess fucked literally (giggles)... But metaphorically too, it's all in holes.
>
"Has Shura ever told about the planet his from? There's almost no info on wikipedia."
Mmm, barely. He told that he calls it "the Other Side" and that it has forests, but that's it. He doesn't like to speak about anything that's related to his, I guess, past life. For some reason. He just insists everyone treat him like a perfectly normal human. It's been more useful to contact that relative I told you about actually. He... well, his people have access to Empire's registers, or whatever they have there. He told me there's so little info, 'cause their planet was invaded very recently, something like... almost fifty-forty years before Earth. Oh, sorry, not invaded - "integrated". Anyway, it's very similar to Earth actually. Has the same water oceans, plants, air... well, duh, he breathes it right there. There's something like ten billion of them. Pretty much the same technology level. They're also in the same "transitionary period", so I assume they're the same kind of shitty corporate colony as we are. With shit ecology and hordes of alien immigrants. No wonder there's no info on them, they don't want anyone to care about these places... But I'm on one of them commie rants again, sorry.
>
I'm no xenophobe, alright? I hate the alien regime not because it's aliens. It's because they impose state capitalism and corporatism and fucking rob the planet. Dude, am I not right?! Ima repeat this in evey video if need be. I'll fucking die on this hill. It's in every race's interests to overthrow these Empire fuckers and build a normal, classless galactic society. Like in Andromeda, the book. Where every race will contribute something and combine their strengths. Imagine how much better life would be, we could've built fucking Dyson spheres all over the place. If not for these greedy imperialist fuckers. Even Shura agrees with this!... Well, if I deciphered him correctly...
>
"How will races combine their strengths if you can't make Shura stop whooping at night like Zoidberg?"
I've actually stopped him from doing that, smartass. And of course it won't be that easy. Who says it'll be easy? We need some kinda advanced theory of joint... education. To help different races, sorta, adapt to each other from the childhood. It'll take a ton of time to develop, but then there'll be no problems like this. Yeah... And it'll also fix all human personality shit. Like in Strugatskiys' Dawn cycle. Great books, by the way, I'll review them sometime.
>
"Why you swearing so much dude?"
Dude, I'm a near thirty year old coder in a two-room with an alien that I barely understand. And just to remind - that could literally kill me with his dick.
>
(sounds similar to gurgling snore and spitting heard in the background)
>
"What does he eat?"
Uh, mostly non Earth stuff... He can't eat much of the food we have, it makes him sick. 'Cause, I guess, different biology. Besides, he can't eat most of it physically anyway. It's crazy actually. Daria didn't show that, but he eats like a fly - sticks his... uh... proboscis into food and injects it with his stomach juices. And then (sucking sounds) sucks in the sludge. So very small stuff, like seeds and nuts, don't work for him. Fruits, meats and veggies, most of them, just melt in his hands and make a mess, so he's forbidden from that too. And soups are too, I guess, predigested for him, he can't stand them. That leaves only stuff with hard outer, uh, covering, like watermelons...
(coughs) He didn't think that one through when he decided to move here, now did he (coughs)...
Anyway. To eat he mostly goes to alien districts. There he gets all these giant ass shrimp things that crawl all around here now. You know them too, right? Yeah. It stinks so fucking horrible that he's forbidden to ever suck them in my appartment.
>
"How tall is Shura?"
Depends if you count that spear dick thing. 'Cause it's... well, not detachable, but it's not a part of his head technically. It's like a limb that's folded, it actually grows from his spine. It only rests on his head when he's not horny. So, if you count it, then he's taller than me, if you don't, then he's slightly shorter. And I'm a meter and 82.
>
Sorry, I don't know your American measurements. Have you still not adopted a normal metric system?
>
"How old is he?"
Honestly, no idea. I don't even know how long their year is. And, again, he wouldn't tell me anyway.
>
(to the side) Шура, хватит шуршать там, меня нихуя не слышно. Хватит шуршать говорю!
>
"Does Shura speak English?"
He does actually. Not as good as I, but he learned some of it when he lived with my relative. He also apparently knows that language that Empire uses in trade between species, but it's not meant for speaking, so, there's that...
By the way, he speaks Russian quite well if you don't count the meaning, but he just can not comprehend writing for some reason. I guess his is just that more different.
>
"You taught him how to use the phone, did you teach him to use social media?"
Um, we tried to organize this. I made him accounts on Twitter and VK. He typed what, like, two messages that were just an emoji, and refused to do it any more. Basically he couldn't stare at a screen for too long. I suspect he sees in a different... uh, spectrum? You know, the UV-infrared stuff... He also complained that my TV "flickers" or something, so maybe his eye got, like, a different FPS. Either that, or his brain just processes things differently, I don't know.
Now, the accounts are still there, they're just for our channel now and not him specifically. Go follow them. I post photos of us there, um, links to my videos. Fishing trips. On Twitter we have Shura's "quotes of the day"...
>
(shattering glass heard in the background) (annoyed sigh) Aight, that's... That was a good thing to end on. That's it for today.
Next stream... Ah, you know, fuck it, I'll figure. Bye.
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