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VanHeist — That's Not My Name
#hams #bomango #bomangowebcomic
Published: 2019-04-06 20:40:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 30026; Favourites: 225; Downloads: 61
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previous: next:story gallery: vanheist.deviantart.com/galler…
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WRONG VOWELS, DUDE.
The boys do indeed have the whole day to themselves, and what a day it’s gonna be
Thanks again for your patience and readership, folks! The day‘s just beginning!
- van
Comic website HERE: www.bomango.net/news/
New comic gallery here: vanheist.deviantart.com/galler…
For more art (and larger versions of the comic pages) check me out on Patreon! www.patreon.com/VanHeist/posts
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Comments: 43
Mine name not Gaga Badonga! Is GOGO BOMANGO! Remember well.
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Hi Van! i'd like to offer some constructive criticism if I may.
First, I just want to say that I absolutely LOVE the artwork as of late. It's the best it's ever been. Super bright, colorful, great angles, multi-character shots, composition, the works. You use a nice balance of varying effects to convey different emotions, and I see you're experimenting with some new stuff lately, which really hearkens to anime, which I love!
Dialogue has never been a problem for you, and art-wise, there's nothing I can suggest. I think you're really settling into your style and it's showing.
Now, onto the critique.
I think your Bomango relaunch suffers some pacing issues. To be absolutely frank, I think the main storyline seems to drag a bit too much. I understand you're trying to build up the story/characters/universe, but a convention that writers use to engage the reader are goals. Characters need goals to achieve, otherwise the story can just seem to run on into infinity. And every chapter needs its own goal. Occasionally, you've introduced some interesting plot elements or new characters that increase the excitement, which falls in line with a traditional "twist". Twists engage the reader, so when these new characters pop in, it instantly rises anticipation. However, the main storyline could use some goals to spicen things up a bit. When you consider the sheer amount of volume you've already done with the relaunch, 100+ pages if memory serves, there aren't really any visible goals in sight, and this is actually needed to keep the reader engaged.
All types of stories have goals. Dramas, comedies, slice-of-life, you name it. With goals, you keep the pacing of your story brisk and focused.
For example, plot-wise much of what you've already done could have been accomplished with half the page count. There's a lot of early dialogue and character interactions that could have been edited out to speed up the pace of the story and get the reader into the meat much quicker. I understand you're new at this continuous form of storytelling as you've mentioned in the past, so I'm taking all of this into consideration with my humble critique. I think you're professional enough to get my point without taking any offense, which I hope I'm avoiding successfully.
So yeah, as much fun as I'm having at this point in the storyline (loving Gogo finally!), I just think that goals need to be introduced into the story soon. Even if they're minor goals, it helps a great deal and it gives the reader a sense of satisfaction every time a goal is reached. If it's not reached, it gives the reader suspense as we begin to hope the protagonist will develop in order to reach them. And goals can be emotional or physical. You've got a limitless canvas to play with.
So that's it. That's just my little two cents that I wanted to share. I hope you find it useful, and as always I'll be watching! Take care!
GrungeWerX
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
That is a VERY good critique. Thank you
The pace of the story has often been an issue for me, for various reasons, so I’m especially glad many readers have stuck it out in spite of such things.
That being said, it’s an issue I’ve been conscious of for awhile, and the coming “day” in the comic is something I hope will be a big step forward in defining what some of those goals are. I can’t go back and shift gears on the pace of the story to this point, of course, and I’ll leave it to readers to decide how the next leg of the story works as far as pacing, but there’s some ambitious heavy lifting ahead
Thanks again!
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Guess Andy's never gonna get that syrup out of his hair XD
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You know? I am reasonably certain that I can't be the only one wondering as to where in the hell 'The Walking Harbinger of Doom and Death' is?
I am referring, of course, to the extradimensional hunter that pursued Gogo. That is still pursuing Gogo!
So? Where the heck is she!?!
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"And now for something completely different"
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Come on! Let's run away and join the circus, the 'Flying Circus' that is. Monty Python singularly redefined the art of sketch comedy. In my humble opinion, for sheer 'bawdy' humor, nothing beats Monty Python and Benny Hill. You just cannot surpass the classical greats.
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I shudder to think of if there were TWO Gogos... The world could not handle such a thing..
Also, Gogo: "I knows wants you/ I knows I needs you/ you and me writes BAD ROMAAANNCCCEE!"
Great job, sir. And thanks to for the Gogo karaoke mental image.
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Gogo dressed up in one of Lady Gaga's outfits would certainly be a sight to see.
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i think i know what Hector wants to talk about!
great comic!!
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Hector: “Unrestricted capitalism versus managed markets.”
Andy: “That’s not what I expected.”
Hector: “IT’S CONNECTED! Allegorically, anyway.”
Andy: “I think your meds are kicking in.”
Hector: “Don’t change the subject!”
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One might question the wisdom of Hector antagonizing someone with a new, huge, friend.
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>Gogo breaks into a Bad Romance karaoke session right then and there
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it's not hard to remember. Just think powerrangers whenever you see her. Gogo Paweranger na na na na na
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*stares blankly*
*throws wad of paper at your forehead*
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you're right. Gogo is more the sort to be attacked by the powerangers.
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I *cannot* wait to see where you're taking us to with this story man, I've been a great fan of yours for years and plan on sticking for a good while even if I don't use DA that much anymore.
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Follow me...
...TO OUTER SPACE
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And I ain’t talking about the food kind of grilling.
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Poor Andy. :v
I feel sorry for him! At least Gogo is his friend! \^w^/
.... poor Andy :/
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Ahhh, don’t worry about Andy
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\o3o/ someone has to worry about Andy
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The innkeeper misspells the Goddess' name for the second time. The Goddess forgives for the last time.
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All tremble before Gugu the Viscous!
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