HOME | DD
VanMak — Innocence of Alys
Published: 2014-03-27 02:07:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 1237; Favourites: 48; Downloads: 8
Redirect to original
Description
EDIT: >< Uploaded the wrong picture. replaced it with the correct oneCritiques requested. I won't bite
Second Sketch version:
vanmak.deviantart.com/art/ALYS…
No text version:
i59.tinypic.com/2dc954p.png
Inspired from the song "Innocence" by Hatsune Miku.
I hope my French are okay, It's been ages since I even touched french as a language and lost my fluency because of it.
I decided to complete the sketch despite the (very first) sketch being very wierd and un-natural posed
. I fixed most of it.watercolor brushes by
AnoGaki instrument concept from the innocence 3DPV (Go download the app if you have a smartphone, it's very fun)
Character belongs to Voxwave and
Related content
Comments: 10
very good !
you should write "donnez-moi DU rêve..." I'm french and it's better to say this
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you
Aha. I'll keep that in mind, thanks.
(wouldn't that make it singular, though?)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you, but yours looks more emotional and this is why I love it. ♥（ﾉ´∀`）
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Requested critique incoming.
I don't see any problems shading-wise, the creases on the translucent sleeves are an especially strong point of the work, looking detailed and natural. Due to being the largest part of the piece, pose issues stand out the most to me. There is a slight awkwardness to her body which could be occurring for a couple of reasons. The first is that her torso may be simply too short. The second is that it may be a perspective issue. She appears to be leaning forward in a way that is simply a bit stiff and an unlikely position to be adopted in real life. If you weren't intending for her to be leaning forward, check your outline of her sides and the length of her abdomen.
Other things I noticed, anatomy-wise: Her right forearm is too short (the one gripping the neck of the guitar.) Her fingers seem a little spindly without enough 3D definition; also perhaps slightly too small. Trying drawing them closely zoomed in or at a larger-than-life size at first, and don't just draw the outline. Use lots of construction lines to define the cylinders and boxes found in the anatomy of the hand. This often really helps you get an solid looking position and feelings of confidence with how this part of the body works. They're quite complex pieces of anatomy, so break them down into easy shapes.
The angles on her jaw might be slightly too sharp – it's a common stylisation pitfall for heads that look too much like polygons to appear unnatural, so be aware of that effect. This may however be caused simply by her hair cutting over her face at that point, but note that it's ambiguous at first glance. A shadow or slight repositioning should fix it. (I looked closer because I hadn't seen that issue at all in your other work.)
The dark high-contrast shading on the outfit looks great, and none of the creases appear artificial. There's also a good mix of soft and hard edges in the shading.
Overall I see, strong points: clothing shading, tone, representation of translucent materials. Points to be focused on: Anatomy, posing
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Requested critique recieved
I noticed the anatomy issue on the arm and modified them with some post editing to see if I could fix it. I had some trouble with the prespective and the calculations at that part. I haven't thought about the parts of the hand; I once saw this way to fix such issues on a nicovideo speedpainting but never used it
The torso being too small is a prespective issue and the sharp head edge is due to the hair being in front. I believe it is better viewed here vanmak.deviantart.com/art/ALYS… , as here the choice to use a completely pale skin tone blends and almost erases the skin part between the bangs.
Thank you for the critique, I'll do my best to get better.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No problem! Critiquing helps me get better at spotting things in my own work too. c;
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Your French is okay and your drawing is awesome ! *w* great job !!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Glad to hear that. I was worried that it would make no sense
Thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 0