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velnon — Dirty
Published: 2009-04-12 06:04:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 36; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description I'm
worried.
that
if you
touch
me

you
will break
the skin

and
every
grain
will come
pouring out

you
can't
wash or burn or sweep or ignore all those grains away

you
will
never
pick up
every grain
of
loneliness.
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velnon - Untitled
Comments: 5

synthwrr [2009-04-15 17:50:04 +0000 UTC]

excellent style there. I love the relation between the title and the poem, and the movement of the words.

slobber slobber.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

velnon In reply to synthwrr [2009-04-20 03:19:48 +0000 UTC]

Haha thanks. Very rarely do my poem titles add anything to the experience.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

synthwrr In reply to velnon [2009-04-21 23:13:27 +0000 UTC]

Not necessarily so...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sandyrinky [2009-04-14 15:32:41 +0000 UTC]

For sure it emphasizes. I really love the last stanza with that word placement.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

velnon In reply to sandyrinky [2009-04-20 03:19:17 +0000 UTC]

It definitely needs Johnny Cash or James Earl Jones to read it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0