HOME | DD

velnon — late night walks
Published: 2009-07-06 05:21:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 66; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
Redirect to original
Description words aren't enough
    but
they'll have to do    i guess
a murder attempt is no murder
but hopefully this death will be recognized

tonight i performed a play
(i didn't much care for)
in front of       noone
in a empty amphitheater

i want a type writer and cigarettes
a room with an open window
to sit and write my own play
if you want        you could come too
       write your own play
we can read the best parts to each other

but it's hard when you have no hands like me
and no bones
Related content
Comments: 3

synthwrr [2009-07-07 00:57:54 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, only 2 "wants" doesnt' make a brat. hehe everyone has wants. makes you sound human.
I liked this mucho

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

velnon In reply to synthwrr [2009-07-07 08:39:27 +0000 UTC]

Well I edited alot of them out

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sandyrinky [2009-07-06 05:28:20 +0000 UTC]

I don't think the "I wants" came off as whiny. At least, when I read it I wasn't getting the feel of some brat.

I like the first stanza the most, it's really... I dunno, thought provoking leading into the rest of the poem.

I'm trying to piece this one ... the last sentence really throws me off. I think of ... like it's all inside your head?

Yeah ok I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore.

I like it though

👍: 0 ⏩: 0