synthwrr [2009-07-07 00:57:54 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, only 2 "wants" doesnt' make a brat. hehe everyone has wants. makes you sound human. I liked this mucho
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velnon In reply to synthwrr [2009-07-07 08:39:27 +0000 UTC]
Well I edited alot of them out
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sandyrinky [2009-07-06 05:28:20 +0000 UTC]
I don't think the "I wants" came off as whiny. At least, when I read it I wasn't getting the feel of some brat. I like the first stanza the most, it's really... I dunno, thought provoking leading into the rest of the poem. I'm trying to piece this one ... the last sentence really throws me off. I think of ... like it's all inside your head? Yeah ok I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore. I like it though