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vertigoevie — Finished Kissing My Death
Published: 2012-10-04 07:32:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 1211; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 5
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Description Spoilers for "The Angels Take Manhattan"

Petrichor

The days and nights in the TARDIS following the Ponds' departure were slow. The hours seemed forever endless; time ticked too slowly. Soon, everything became blurred. They had to keep moving on, keep walking, keep running, the two of them. The Doctor and River Song, never stopping long enough.

River stayed with the Doctor for a few weeks, holed up in a room somewhere in the back reaches of the TARDIS, typing away at Melody Malone. The tears fell freely as she neared the end of the book. The pain was still fresh in her mind and in her heart. She cried, but silently.

And every time she decided to take a break and step out of the room, she wiped away the tears and waited for the red in her eyes to disappear before walking out and putting on a smile for the Doctor. The last thing the Time Lord needed was to see someone, especially her, crying.

The Doctor didn't stop running. He kept flying the TARDIS off to distant lands, having adventures, letting the adrenaline course through him. He would forget, for a moment, but there would be times when he would turn after a narrow escape and realize that no one was there.

Sometimes River would join him on a late night adventure, but it just wasn't the same. River wasn't the light; she was a shadow.

Still, she was part of what he needed at the moment. Someone who understood. Someone to lean on. Because even with the Afterword to Melody Malone, the pain was still constant.

"What did I tell you when you asked where they were?" the Doctor said one day when River walked down in the console room. She looked up from the levers she was fiddling with. It was the first time since Manhattan the Doctor had talked about Amy and Rory. "Because you must have asked," the Doctor continued sidling up next to her and not breaking eye contact. "You would have noticed."

"Spoilers," River replied softly as she tore her eyes away.

"River…" the Doctor responded just as softly. He placed his hand on hers, stilling it. "Previews."

"You didn't say what happened, just that you couldn't see them again."

"Okay…" the Doctor mouthed, returning to his part of the console."We need to make a trip," he said, a bit louder, some of his old charisma returning. "Important trip."

"Where?"

The Doctor's head popped out from the other side of the Cloister Bell. "To your grandfather."

Wound

The TARDIS landed quietly in the backyard of Brian Williams's house. River had seen to it that they made a quiet entrance, but by the time they stepped out of the time-ship, Brian was standing in the garden, looking expectantly at the Doctor.

The Doctor's face fell and so did Brian's.

In the end, River told most of the story because the Doctor had not yet reached the point where he could talk about it freely. River's voice was soft and melodious, the words flowing out smoothly and practiced from her time writing the book that would lead them all there in the first place.

"They're still alive," she told Brian, taking his hand in hers. "Out there in New York, in a different time, living out their lives, Rory and Amy."

Brian sniffed and cried, looked up that the Doctor and then looked away.

"Did I…" the Doctor began, his voice hoarse. He coughed once, twice, before continuing. "Did I ever tell you that you are a grandfather, Brian?" Brian's head whipped up. His eyes were wide and surprise shining through his tears. "Oh yeah," the Doctor said, trying to sound nonchalant. "It's pretty complicated, involves time standing still, some crazy eye-patch people, a few paradoxes here and there and an evil-robot judgment day thing with miniaturized people – that'll still never get old, gotta tell you that," the Doctor rambled. He turned his head to look at Brian. "Point being," he smiled softly, "you just met her."

Interlude

Hours later, once the sun had set and Brian had fallen asleep on the couch, the Doctor and River left. "I suppose you're leaving tomorrow," the Doctor said, dematerializing the TARDIS. "The book's almost finished."

"How'd you know?"

"You've been getting out of your room more often," he answered knowingly. The unspoken because the sorrow is become too much to bear was left hanging in the air. He pulled at a lever and twisted a knob. "We'll be floating in the time vortex for a while. Get some rest."

"I'm not tired," River told him a-matter-of-factly.

"Rest. River."

She gave him a displeased look and for a moment the Doctor was afraid that she was going to slap him once again. Instead she huffed a bit and stormed off deliberately. The lights in the console room dimmed as she left. "Yes, I know old girl…" the Doctor whispered, stroking the console. "She's just trying to help, but it's hard on her too." He paused. "She's being brave… They're always brave."

Refrain

"I swear, if that is one more automated, cyborg coming to sing me stupid carols, I will dismantle you and leave all your parts to rust!" The TARDIS-blue door opened with a flourish to reveal River Song, hair now brown, with a fancy space pistol in your hand.

"Hi honey, I'm home. Love what you've done with the place."

"And a happy holidays to you too, sweetie. Love the hair… and the suit. We're you trying to impress me?"

The Doctor laughed. "Well, hurry up then. Don't bother with a coat. Take your pick from the wardrobe."

"I'm guessing you're not going to tell me where we're going?"

"Have I ever told you about Darillium?"

"The Singing Towers?" River asked, following the Doctor into the TARDIS.

"One and only. Wardrobe's where you left it."

There was a bit of a mishap at Calderon Beta before the Doctor got the coordinates straight and landed them right on an edge of a cliff, looking over the iridescent towers that sang the most beautiful melody in history.

"It's amazing," River smiled with wonder. The lights flared and faded, a continual dance, and the Towers sang.

"I know."

"But you already knew that."

"Of course I did," the Doctor responded, taking her hand in his.

"So when are we exactly?" River asked.

He looked up at her and then away quickly. "Just popped off to the Wild West with Amy and Rory."

"Oh yes, mother told me about that."

"And you just left to publish the book." River didn't speak. "I'm fine though," he added. "I'm always fine."

"And that's what you always say." River leaned on his arm. "A last farewell?" This time the Doctor was silent. They stayed like that, still and not speaking, watching the lights dance and listening to the Towers sing.

"River…" the Doctor finally said. "I want you to have something." She turned to him and saw that he was holding out a sonic screwdriver, different from the one he normally used. It was as bulky as his, but blue – like the TARDIS.

She took the device and turned it over in her hands, studying every component. "Why though?" she asked, inspecting it.

"Never gave you a key. TARDIS just lets you in. Least I could do."

River looked up and noticed for the first time that the Doctor was crying. Tear tracks flew silently down his cheeks. "Doctor…?"

"Oh, River Song, my bad bad girl." He grinned and kissed her on the forehead, just like he did with Amy not so long ago. When he pulled away, River could see that the tears were still there, still constant. She felt his hand stroke her cheek. "Come here you."

And then his lips were on hers. He kissed her with more passion than any of the other versions of him she had ever met. The Doctor's arms locked around her waist as he held her close, pouring himself into the kiss. She gave right back with the same amount of fervor, wrapping her arms around his neck. Even as they pulled away, they remained tightly embraced. River could feel the Doctor's tears sliding down and splashing onto her shoulder, where the Doctor had rested his chin.

"River, I need to tell you something."

"Anything." The words tickled the Doctor's neck.

"It's important, because one day it might just save you and you might just understand."

"What is it?"

"I will never, ever leave you." River stiffened in the Doctor's hold. "I know what you're thinking, River. I know you're aging and you think you're getting weak and that I won't come back for you anymore. But you are wrong. You are so, so wrong. You are not weak. Never, to me. And I will fight to my earliest and latest breath to keep you safe and I will never abandon you." The Doctor pulled away. "Do you understand?" River's eyes had misted over. She didn't speak.

"River – do you understand?"

She nodded dumbly.

"And one more thing," he told her, wiping away the tear that was collecting in the corner of her eye. "It's okay for me to see you cry."

Circle

"Th-there must be something we can do. Anything. Something. We- we could get you to the Shadow Proclamation. A hospital or something."

"River, there's nothing."

"No, no, no," she cried.

"River…" The whisper was faint and hoarse, so not full of the life its body and those before it once held. "I…"

"I'm here. I'm right here." She took the man's hand and held it tightly. "Whatever you need."

"I need to tell you something." She leaned down enough so he could whisper in her ear. Then the most beautiful words flowed into her. She could see golden specks in the whisper, feel the power that surged through, hear the song those words held.

"That was my name," the man said. "My real name."

"I'm not changing my last name, if that's what you're asking," River joked through her tears. The man tried to smile, but failed. His strength was leaving him too quickly.

"All those times, River… I remember them well."

"I'll make sure I do too."

"River… One more thing."

"Anything."

"You watch us run."
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Comments: 6

hervissa [2013-11-12 20:25:24 +0000 UTC]

Oh dammit.

The feeeeeeeeelsss.

BUT IT'S FREAKING BBEAUTIFUL :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Slynia [2013-07-30 21:03:52 +0000 UTC]

You know how bad this hurts? And yet I kept readong...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

baileygrace [2012-10-07 21:24:41 +0000 UTC]

i love this, it was beautiful!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

davidtennantrocks [2012-10-06 18:53:12 +0000 UTC]

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE MOAAAR!!!!!
PLLLLLZZZZZZ I CANT SEE SEASON 7 UNTILL WHEN IT STOPS FILMINGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

happyhorseshoe303 [2012-10-05 01:31:53 +0000 UTC]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, i think i might still be in shock... it was SOOOOOO SAAAAAADDDD!!!! i cried through the afterword, and for a full ten minutes before that i kept making these little gulpy noises because my throat was all closed up...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TARDISGirl101 [2012-10-04 21:12:48 +0000 UTC]

I love this. Especially the 'You watch us run.'

👍: 0 ⏩: 0