Comments: 38
WolfDreams In reply to Vindblain [2011-10-20 03:10:20 +0000 UTC]
Lets just say that I must thank our Good Friend Glacierman for recommending i look at your stuff! I am enlightened to know you ^^
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0Iluvater0 [2012-02-08 01:31:20 +0000 UTC]
Dude that was amazing... how... I mean... I don't know what I mean, Can I take a holiday in your mind for just a day? You need to get a book published of your poetry.
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Vindblain In reply to 0Iluvater0 [2012-03-24 01:18:40 +0000 UTC]
Feel free to suggest that to publishers. (Cheeky Grin)
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0Iluvater0 In reply to Vindblain [2012-03-24 03:26:40 +0000 UTC]
Well if your interested check out Blurb [link] scroll down to the bottom and there is a box in the bottom right hand corner select Blurb United State.
You've got some thing awesome here buddy It'll be worth it, I'm getting some of my photos put into a custom book too!
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Axlazu [2012-01-24 17:52:12 +0000 UTC]
I have no words to describe how beautifully written this is. Beautiful doesn't even come close to capturing what I want to say.
I'm at a lost for words, there was nothing but pure poetic beauty with this.
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Vindblain In reply to Axlazu [2012-01-31 19:45:51 +0000 UTC]
Wow, what a compliment! Thank you so much for the kind words.
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Axlazu In reply to poisonplum [2012-01-24 18:42:55 +0000 UTC]
yes, yes you did.
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rileyray [2011-10-24 17:56:36 +0000 UTC]
Oh my goodness. That was amazing. I am lost for words.... Just.. Amazing.
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Vindblain In reply to rileyray [2011-10-25 15:39:30 +0000 UTC]
^///^ Thank you so much for saying so. I'm so glad you liked it!
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MistyMay88 [2011-10-21 01:35:10 +0000 UTC]
This is so amazing! Almost cried...
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MistyMay88 In reply to Vindblain [2011-10-21 01:41:38 +0000 UTC]
lol well I would think so
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Aldesto [2011-10-20 02:20:45 +0000 UTC]
It's hard to critique something so perfect already. I loved it, and I'm not being bias.
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chernboyl [2011-10-20 00:50:27 +0000 UTC]
i applaud you.
that is the first poem i've read on this site and actually completed without going "hmph" and removing from my messages haha. congratulations, you may make a believer out of me yet.
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Vindblain In reply to chernboyl [2011-10-20 14:25:19 +0000 UTC]
(huge grin) Well, I'm happy to have shaken your beliefs *wink*
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Vindblain In reply to LoneWolf0628 [2011-10-19 22:22:40 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad I was able to pull you into my little world for a moment. I like it here, so I'm happy to share!
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Vindblain In reply to chriseastmids [2011-10-19 22:24:00 +0000 UTC]
I'm so happy you were able to take that journey and enjoy it. Thank you for saying so!
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RobertJamesA [2011-10-18 22:54:04 +0000 UTC]
Wow I have to say this is absolutely beautiful, one of the best poems Ive read on dA in a long time.
Your imagery is stunning and it is what keeps the reader hooked all the way through the story.
I love the metaphors of the seasons in that way this can relate to alot of people, this was a real joy to read.
Check out my period piece if you want to. [link]
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Vindblain In reply to RobertJamesA [2011-10-19 22:25:22 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much for saying so! I'm happy you were hooked. I was hooked while writing it so it makes me feel wonderful to know someone else was drawn in as well. I'm so glad you liked it. thank you for the comments!
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forzaCarlton [2011-10-18 22:48:11 +0000 UTC]
I like it. Remindes me of Yeats a bit.
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Vindblain In reply to forzaCarlton [2011-10-19 22:31:23 +0000 UTC]
Wow, what a compliment! Thank you so much!
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Marius-Drake [2011-10-18 22:18:42 +0000 UTC]
It's a beautiful piece, and takes the reader on a journey that no doubt you've walked before. The rhyming scheme sweeps you up and carries you through so well that the few minor deviations from the rhyme jarr a little. I.e
But Summer storms were yet to come
and early the sun would set.
The green of forest leaves would fade
yet her warmth I would not forget.
Could become
But Summer storms were yet to come
and early sun's would set
The green of forest leaves would fade
her warmth I'd not forget
the personifications work fantastically, and really underline the changing people and how you were changing throughout the poem. however you could change from this slightly at
and Winter held such lonesome cold
it could never be my wife.
made into
and winter held such lonesome cold
she could never be my wife
It's more personal and carries through the honesty that is present through out the work. without it it seemed distant which works in terms of the emotions but didn't seem to flow as well on the first read through.
I really loved this and had to read it a couple of times to let it sink in. Apart from these points (the first occurs a few times but isn't a big issue), it's the best poem i've read in quite a wile. If you have time I'd appreciate some feedback that you might have on any of my poems. Thanks for sharing
[link]
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Vindblain In reply to Marius-Drake [2011-10-19 22:39:57 +0000 UTC]
I hope you don't mind, but I made one of the changes you suggested (changing "warmth I would not" to "warmth I'd not"). I'm torn about changing "it could never be my wife" to "she could..." though. I love it both ways! I'd be interested to hear what the other readers think. Personally, I like "it" only tiny bit better, because it seems to imply the season is the one that's cold rather than the woman who personifies the season. It's such a fine line though!
Thank you so much for the thoughtful critique.
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Marius-Drake In reply to Vindblain [2011-10-19 23:44:17 +0000 UTC]
The changes were only there to illustrate what I was describing but i'm flattered that you would integrate the suggestion. And I enjoyed giving the critique considering other talented writers helps me gain insight into my own bits and bobs. So thank you
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