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[Fetish warning: A.I. girl farting, girl farts, sharts, scat. Don't like it? Leave.]

[Minor spoiler warning: this takes place after Coalescence, and briefly mentions a few aspects of those stories. It's not 100% necessary knowledge but it may be worth reading those first.]

The sound of a key turning in a lock resounded in the apartment. The creaking of door hinges soon followed it, and Kristi once again stepped into her apartment. Despite spending much of her time at Laura's house, she actually had yet to move in with her girlfriend - she lived between the two places, visiting her old apartment every other day. She did have intentions to move out at some point, but it wasn't the right time. Laura had been encouraging her to move in for a while, saying that they already spend so much time together, and that it was pointless for Kristi to travel between the two places so frequently. But Kristi couldn't move out, for one particular reason...

And that reason was Mike.

Whenever Kristi brought up her roommate to Laura, her response was normally "Oh yeah, I forgot about him... Is he doing alright?", and Kristi was never entirely sure how to answer. He always seemed fine any time she visited him, but seeming fine and being fine were two different things - a fact Kristi knew all too well.

She shut the door quietly behind her, and glanced around her apartment - all things considered, it was in pretty good condition. The table was clean (save for a single empty pizza box), everything was neatly tidied away, and there were no clothes or other miscellaneous junk strewn about. Kristi set her house keys down on the table and unzipped her dark-green hoodie. She was impressed - Mike seemed to be keeping the apartment in better condition than she had when it was hers.

As she walked into the living space, however, it became apparent that Mike hadn't been keeping himself in the best condition. He was asleep on the sofa, empty beer-bottle in hand, snoring quietly. He had short, rough stubble scattered across his face. His short, blonde hair was a mess, and he looked as if he was having a nightmare. Kristi poked his face gently, in an attempt to wake him, but he simply twitched instead. Kristi sighed and decided to take a more drastic measure, hiking her leg.

"C'mon, rise and shine Mike..." Kristi muttered under her breath, before a small, feminine grunt escaped her lips.

BLLLLLLLLMMMMMBBBBBBRRRROOOOORRRLLLLLLLLLMMMPPPPPRRMMMBBBLLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRPPPPT!

As soon as the bubbling blast broke out, Mike jolted awake and sat up. He clamped his hands over his ears and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light. Kristi kept a straight face for the six-second duration of the release, but as soon as it ended she couldn't stop herself from giggling. Mike frowned at her before covering his nose, trying to protect himself from the stench.

"Morning, sleepy-head~" Kristi teased as she fanned her ass gently. Mike just scowled at her.

"Morning..." He tried rubbing the sleep from his eyes, to no avail. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm getting some spare clothes. Apparently Laura's gonna surprise me with something this weekend, so I figured I might need some changes of clothes, just in case it's... Well, messy." Kristi flopped down on the sofa next to Mike and grinned. "Happy Birthday, by the way. Consider that your gift~"

"Not much of a gift... In case you can't tell," Mike lifted up the empty bottle of beer, "I'm a little hungover. So I'm not in the mood for loud noises..."

Kristi smirked and sat back with a smirk, "Well isn't someone being a gwumpy-guts on his birthday?"

"You would be too, if you had no one to spend it with..."

Kristi's smile faded, and she sat forward a bit. "Still no luck with finding anyone?"

Mike shot her a slightly hostile glare. "Yeah, unlike you girls don't just fall into my lap and say 'I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you!' after the first date..."

Kristi frowned and shifted away from Mike uncomfortably. "Jeez, alright, no need to get mad with me. I get that it's frustrating but it's not gonna help if you lash out at me. It's not my fault."

Mike looked at the floor in shame, "Yeah yeah... I just... You two are so perfect together, and it's... Infuriating to just be stuck here alone..."

Kristi shifted around and tried to face him, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. "Hey, I come to visit every other day! You're not alone all the time!"

"You visit for like, two seconds and then go back to Laura's house!" Mike raised his voice, and then covered his eyes, "I bet you can't even remember my eye colour without looking..."

Kristi paused and thought to herself. "They're... Blue?"

Mike uncovered his eyes and sighed, "Hazel! They're hazel! This is exactly my point - I'm just the afterthought in everyone else's lives..."

Kristi felt guilt forming in her chest, weighing her down. Why hadn't she remembered his eye colour? And... Now that she thought about it, was his hair always blonde? Did he always have that tan, and did his nose always have that slight crook in it? She had so many questions, and yet wanted none of them answered in fear of making Mike feel even worse. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves, "You're not an afterthought, Mike... It's just... I really like spending time with Laura, and that's been my priority for the past few months... I'm really sorry I haven't been around to help out at all..."

Mike sighed, which made it clear that he didn't feel any better for Kristi's reassurance, "I know, I know... It just feels like the world's been passing by without me recently. What am I even doing with myself? What's my point?"

Kristi shook her head and put a hand on Mike's shoulder, "People don't need to have a point, exactly... You're just... Not sure what to do with yourself, and that's okay! You'll figure it out..."

Mike slumped back against the sofa and sighed. "Plus... With all the news about this 'non-human rights' movement, it makes me wonder just what else I've missed... I didn't find out about non-humans existing until a demoness fumigated the supermarket I was buying groceries in..."

Kristi's brow furrowed in thought, "...Wait, say that again?"

"Don't get your hopes up, I didn't get the demon girl's name or anything. She stunk though... Too toxic to stick around..."

"No no no, not about the supermarket. Non-humans, that bit?"

"...The non-human rights movement? What's that got to do with anything?" Mike turned to her confused.

"Oh, it sort of doesn't, but that did remind me of something... I'm not sure whether she'll agree, but I think I know someone who could spend your birthday with you. Or, you'll be spending it with her, I guess." Kristi stood up and helped Mike to his feet. He took a moment to steady himself. "Get yourself sorted out. I'm going to grab some clothes, and then I'll take you to meet an old friend of mine."

---
Once the two of them had sorted themselves out (and once Kristi had dropped the spare clothes off back at Laura's house), Kristi and Mike quickly hopped on board a bus into the city centre. It reminded Kristi of when the two of them had first met - that seemed so long ago now... Kristi gave a cursory glance to Mike, but he seemed more focused on staring out the window. He didn't seem particularly enthusiastic about Kristi's plan, especially since she hadn't actually told him the plan. She wanted to keep it a surprise, but at the same time she didn't want him to be miserable the entire time... She sighed to herself. They'd be there soon. Everything would be fine.

The bus pulled up at the bus stop. When Mike stepped onto the pavement, he stared up in confusion at the building in front of him. He turned to Kristi.

"Why are we at Fjoremann Industries?"

Kristi smirked smugly, her grin reminiscent of a cat. "You'll see soon enough."

Kristi led the way up into the pristine office building, and stepped confidently through the automatic doors and into the reception. Mike followed her somewhat timidly - he was always intimidated by the professionalism of corporate buildings. Kristi looked at the receptionist and smirked.

The receptionist looked up from the computer, and her eyes lit up slightly. "Oh hi, Kristi! Are you here to see your girlfriend? Her lunch break isn't for another few hours."

"Heya Yaz! Long time no see! No thanks, I need to speak to Tania Fjoremann? I need to ask her for a favour." Kristi looked back at Mike briefly and nodded to him.

"Alright, one sec..." The receptionist (called Yasmin, apparently) quickly typed something on the keyboard, clicked her mouse a few times, before snapping her fingers, "She's at work today, down in the RnD lab. Would you like assistance getting there?"

"No thanks, I know the way. Thanks Yaz!" Kristi smiled and waved her goodbye before turning on her heel and heading towards the nearest lift. Mike followed along in confusion.

"Who was that?" Mike asked as he followed Kristi into the lift.

"Hm? Oh, that was Yasmin, the receptionist." Kristi responded simply.

"...You two seemed to be good friends." Mike said, while Kristi pressed the basement lift button. The doors shut slowly, and the elevator began its descent.

"Kinda. We've talked from the times I've visited Laura at work. She's pretty nice I guess. Makes visiting people quicker if you know the receptionist." Kristi checked her nails absentmindedly.

Mike frowned and rested against the lift wall. "You seemed to know her better than your own roommate..."

Kristi turned to him and sighed, "I don't, Mike. I don't talk to her that often, I'm just friendly with her because it makes seeing Laura during work hours easier. Less waiting around for appointments, or waiting for permission, et cetera."

Mike nodded, folding his arms over. "Right right..."

The lift doors opened, and Mike looked up to see a pristine, sanitised lab space, with about a dozen people in lab coats wandering around busying themselves with work. Many didn't really pay attention to Kristi and Mike (nothing new for the latter), so they were able to simply walk through the room without any trouble. Kristi led Mike through to a sectioned-off portion of the lab. Kristi knocked on the door, and waited for a moment. The lock clicked, and the door opened.

Stood in the doorway was a young woman with long, brown hair, with a single streak of blonde. She had green eyes, which glanced between Kristi and Mike curiously. She was dressed in a button-up shirt and black slacks. Her face seemed to be in a permanent smile, and that only broadened when she saw Kristi. The woman gave Kristi a tight hug.

"Kristi! It's so good to see you!" Tania said enthusiastically, before glancing at Mike. "Who's your friend?"

"Nice to see you too, Tania. Mike, this is Tania - adopted daughter of Matthias Fjoremann. Tania, this is Mike. I was wondering if you could do me a favour." Kristi looked at Tania expectantly.

"...What kind of favour were you hoping for?" Tania tilted her head, "The smelly kind, or-"

"No no, not that kind of favour." Kristi cut Tania off. She gestured to Mike. "It's his birthday, and Mike doesn't have anyone to spend it with. Could you... At least just humour him for the day?"

He blushed slightly, "She's not gonna agree, Kristi..." Mike muttered under his breath.

"Oh, sure I can! He'd have to stay in the lab, since I have work to do and all, but I could take him out to lunch later on! Oh oh, and I could take him home too! It'll be a load of fun!" Tania bounced slightly on her feet, clapping her hands together excitedly.

Mike glanced at Kristi, who was shooting him a smug grin. Mike sighed, and muttered "Okay, sounds good..." He omitted his next thought, which was What have I got to lose?

Kristi patted him on the back and pushed him to the doorway. "I'll leave you two lovebirds to it~ I'll see you around!" She waved as she made her way back towards the elevator.

"See you later!" Tania called after her. Mike muttered "See ya," under his breath, but he doubted Kristi had heard him. Tania grabbed Mike by the hand and pulled him through, into the walled-off room.

The interior of the room wasn't much different from the rest of the lab. There were two central workstations, which each had a PC and several scattered papers, filled with various notes. At the far end of the room was an odd setup, likely for some kind of practical experiment - there was a large piece of fabric suspended between two anchor points at either side. The white fabric (which resembled cloth) was being held taut, weights tugging at it from both ends. And, in the centre of the room, a woman stood jotting notes down onto a clipboard. She had mousy brown hair, and a rather heavy-set physique. She wore a lab coat which concealed the rest of her clothes when looking at her from behind. Her hair was tied back, and Mike could just about tell she was wearing glasses. She didn't turn to face Mike and Tania, even as the door shut.

Tania grinned widely and walked up to the woman, before turning to face Mike. "Michael, this is my lab assistant, Nadine! Nadine, this is Michael-"

"It's just Mike, thanks..." Mike said, putting his hands in his pocket awkwardly. Nadine didn't look up from her notepad until Tania elbowed her in the ribs. Nadine looked up and spun around to glare at Tania.

"Hey, can't you see I'm..." Nadine stopped as she looked at Mike, "Tania, why did you let an outsider into the lab?"

"Because my friend Kristi said it was his birthday, and he'd be lonely otherwise!" Tania said enthusiastically, "And his name's Mike, not 'an outsider'." As she quoted Nadine, she put on a mockingly ominous voice.

"...Aren't you a lesbian?" Nadine tilted her head in confusion.

Tania paused for a moment and thought to herself, "Uh... Yes... No...? It's complicated!"

Nadine rolled her eyes and readjusted her circular, thick-rimmed glasses, "Well, Ms Complicated, I can't focus on this experiment with John Outsider over here as a distraction."

Mike raised his hand, "My name's not John-"

"Can it," Nadine cut him off, somewhat harshly, "Tania, just get him out of the lab. Take him on a date or something."

Tania frowned and put a hand on her hip, "But we need to do stain testing for that fabric! We're making clothes for a giant lizard girl who can't hold shit in, we gotta make sure it's stain resistant!"

Nadine huffed to herself, "I can do that myself, Tania."

"Not just any stains, shit stains!" Tania seemed to be intent on rubbing in that particular fact, much to Nadine's annoyance.

"I'll... I'll do the tests myself..." Nadine muttered under her breath.

"You'll whaaaaaaaat?" Tania held a hand up to her ear with a mischievous grin.

Nadine sighed heavily, "I'll do the stain resisting tests myself... I've needed to go for the past hour anyway..."

"There ya go! Have fun with your little accident experiment~" Tania waved goodbye to Nadine, who flipped her off as she turned her attention to her experiment. Tania took Mike by the hand and led him out the door, exiting into the main lab once again.

"She uh... She didn't seem very friendly," Mike said as Tania led him to the other side of the lab.

Tania smirked at Mike as they waited for the lift to arrive, "Oh, no she's just a bit of a grump that's all. She doesn't mean anything by it, that's just how she is. I'm actually pretty good friends with her!"

"Could've fooled me..." Mike muttered to himself, before he found himself smiling slightly. Perhaps Tania's enthusiasm was infectious...

When the lift doors opened, Tania pulled Mike by the hand into the confined space. She turned to face him, her face being set into a very serious-looking expression. "Okay Mike, this may seem like a random question, but please tell me about Valentine's day."

"I... What?" Mike stared at Tania in confusion, "Why do you want to know about Valentine's day? That was a few months back. Did you not think to ask about it back then?"

"No no no! I know about it, but I literally know nothing beyond the fact that it's a corporate love holiday, and the anniversary of a massacre. Plus, I was preoccupied when it did come around. Please, tell me more about it!"

"...Okay, first of all, the massacre is named after Valentine's day. The holiday came first, not the other way around." Mike corrected her, and Tania seemed to have a look of realisation.

"Ohhhhh, that makes way more sense! I was confused about why they named a love holiday after mass violence, but then again you humans are so... Strange... Tell me more!" Tania bounced up and down happily.

"U-Uhhmm... Well, it's just a holiday where couples get together and are each other's 'Valentine', though uh... I've never had a Valentine before." Mike scratched the back of his head, and Tania nodded along with what he said. He then took a deep breath, "But... Backtrack a second, did you say 'you humans'?"

Tania nodded, "Yup!" She then paused. She noticed Mike's confused expression, and a realisation came to her, "Ohhhhhhhh... Kristi didn't tell you, did she?"

"Tell me what?"

Tania shifted from foot-to-foot awkwardly, "Well... I'm kind of... Not human...?" She said with a slight blush on her face. When Mike didn't appear any less confused, she clarified, "Well, originally I was made as the world's first A.I. - like, fully realised artificial life, none of that Siri bullshit. Then I had a robot body, which I still have but don't use too often, and nooooow... Well, now I'm a human! Kind of anyway, I'm not technically flesh and blood but it's a pretty good synthetic stand-in, don't you think?"

The lift doors opened. Mike tried to formulate a response, but couldn't. What could he say to that? It was a lot of information to take in at once. And, before he could say anything, Tania took his hand and whisked him off again, pulling him out of the lift, out of the building, and down the road to a quiet cafe. They walked in total silence, right up until they were seated in the corner of the little coffee shop. Mike slumped back in one of the seats, thinking to himself. Tania stared at him the whole time, her usual optimism replaced with bated anticipation of what he might say.

Eventually, Mike spoke up.

"So... How does that work, exactly?"

Tania put her hands together, "What do you want to know in particular?"

Mike thought to himself, "Like... Okay, so you were an A.I. at first. Does that mean like, you could be coded any way Fjoremann pleased? Do you have free will, or are you just a predetermined personality?"

"Wow, going for the big questions, huh? You really know how to sweet-talk a girl~" Tania joked, before clearing her throat, "So basically, the way my A.I. structure worked was that I had these 'fundamental' attributes, which were lines of unalterable code that were integral to my virtual mind's structure. Essentially, these made sure that I have consistent emotions, personality, and well-defined aspects of myself. These could never change - for example, my name's always set to Tania, my gender is female, my sexuality is girls-only, et cetera. These are concrete parts of me. Matthias set up my A.I. like that just so there'd be no 'Terminator'-esque apocalypse from me."

Mike nodded along to her explanation, just about wrapping his head around the situation, "Okay... That's pretty cool... But like, how do you know nothing about Valentine's day and yet know the plot of Terminator?"

Tania blushed slightly, "U-Uh, well... I've been told my knowledge is pretty selective... I can hack any system like it's a reflex but uh... I haven't gotten the hang of basic stuff, like cutlery."

"How do you mess up using cutlery?"

"...I once ate a steak with a spoon..."

Mike sighed, but found himself laughing quietly, "That's... Kinda cute actually..."

Tania's blush only intensified, but she started smiling again, "Awww thank you! That's really sweet."

Mike drummed his fingers against the table, "And uh... When Nadine asked if you were a lesbian, you said it was 'complicated'... So... Could you clarify a bit? I just... If you're only into girls, I don't really want to be wasting my time too much... Don't get me wrong, you're really nice! But... I could easily see myself falling for you, and if you wouldn't feel the same way, then I don't really want to open myself up like that..."

"Well... You wouldn't be wasting your time, I don't think. Hear me out," Tania leaned forward a little, "Y'see, human emotions are always so... Tangled up. You guys sometimes conflate sexual preferences and romantic preferences, as well as fetish preferences, when they're technically three distinct things. You sometimes feel anger when you're sad or upset, and to a less intense degree, you feel ill when in actuality you're just hungry. I... Well, all those aspects are much more organised in my brain. I can tell when I'm hungry, not ill, and I can tell when I'm sad and not actually angry. By extension... I know my sexual preferences, and I know my romantic preferences."

Mike nodded along, "So... How does that apply to the situation?"

Tania smirked a little, "It applies because... Sexually, I'm only interested in girls. But romance is an entirely different ball game. I focus on what's up here," She pressed a finger to Mike's forehead, "And not on what's down there," She vaguely gestured below Mike's waist.

"What you're saying is, you'd date me but wouldn't have sex with me?" Mike nodded to himself, "I think I could live with that."

"Oh, no I could definitely have sex with you. I just wouldn't be getting off to you, I'd be getting off to me. All I'd have to do is fart or something, and I'd be able to get off to the smell, or maybe the sound..." Tania trailed off as she imagined getting off to her own gas.

"Wait... You'd get off to what now?" Mike blinked a couple of times. Had he heard her right?

"Hmm? Oh... Did I not say I had a fart fetish?" Tania said nonchalantly, as if it was the most everyday, banal fact that she had neglected to mention.

"No, you didn't... That must have been why Kristi set us up together." Mike's spirits seemed to have lifted slightly.

"You find girls farting cute too?" Tania tilted her head curiously, her green eyes glinting with wonder.

"Yeah! I do, funnily enough..." Mike looked down at the table in thought, "So... We're supposed to be on a birthday date, right?"

"I guess so. Why do you ask?"

"I was... I was just wondering if you thought that maybe we could see how this goes beyond today too?" Mike twiddled his thumbs as he asked the question.

"Well, we don't know each other that well, but... You do seem sweet, and I'm not seeing anyone else at the moment, so sure! We could see where it goes! I can't guarantee it'll go far at the moment, mind you, but it's worth a shot!" Tania beamed happily. Mike found himself mirroring her enthusiasm, smiling brightly back at her. Tania then clasped her hands together, "Oh, I almost forgot - isn't it customary to buy a loved one a box of chocolates on Valentine's day? I seem to remember reading that somewhere..."

Mike nodded, "Yeah, but... It's not Valentine's day."

Tania blushed a little, "I know... But I figured I could be a sort of... honorary Valentine, you know? After all, we missed the actual date by a few months."

Mike shrugged, "I guess we could consider it a Valentine's date... In Summer... I could buy you a box of chocolates later o-"

"No need!" Tania's smile took on a mischievous undertone, "I've been mixing up some chocolate of my own for hours now. I was hoping to use it for the stain resistance tests in the lab, but I suppose this is as good a cause as any!~"

"What do you-?"

Mike's question was interrupted as Tania lifted a leg in her seat. Her once smirking face shifted to a strained expression.

PPPLLLLLLMMMMBBBBLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMBBBBBLLLLSSSSSPPPPPLLLLRRRRRRRCCCCHHHHRRRRRBBBLLLLLPPPPPLLLLRRRRRRRSSSSSCHT!

A sickeningly wet bout of flatulence escaped Tania, squelching slightly as she undeniably stained her panties. Were she stood up, the brown patch on the back of her trousers would have been plainly visible. Mike sat back slightly, not expecting his date to push out such a volatile, wet expulsion in a public space. The shart droned on for nearly ten seconds, bubbling and grumbling all the while. Once the shitty-smelling explosion ended, Tania leaned back in her seat and let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Phew~ Obviously that's not the edible kind of chocolate, but I hope you accept the gift all the same~" Tania fanned her lap playfully, her face red with arousal.

Mike wasn't sure how to respond. He couldn't deny that he'd found her outburst incredibly attractive, but at the same time they were in public. And Tania had drawn a lot of attention to herself with such a loud shart - people were staring with disdain at the couple, and some of them were mumbling complaints to other people on their table. Tania seemed completely oblivious to that fact.

"Uhhhh... Tania, people are staring..."

"Oh I knooooow~ It's great, isn't it?~" Tania said with a shameless smirk.

"...No, not particularly..." Mike muttered, "I mean, yes that was adorable, but I'm pretty sure we're gonna get kicked out..."

"Duh! That's why I'm gonna order us coffees to go. What do you want?"

Mike stood up and shook his head, trying his best to hide his arousal, "I should get the drinks. It's the chivalrous thing to do."

Tania stood up as well and stopped Mike from heading to the counter, "Fuck chivalry, I'm the daughter of a billionaire! I can afford to buy drinks."

"...Good point, well made... I'll just have a cappuccino."

---
Once the duo ordered their coffees and left the cafe (before they could kick out Tania for shitting herself and creating an awful stink), Mike and Tania decided to simply walk through the city. They held hands and drank their coffee, making small talk as they made their way around. Soon enough, they'd finished their drinks, and decided to settle down on a park bench. When Mike heard a distinct squelching sound from Tania's ass, he realised that she still hadn't changed her underwear.

"Hey, uh... Are you alright? Y'know, with having a mess in your p-panties and all that?" Mike stammered slightly as he pictured the state they must be in.

"Oh yeah, I'm totally fine with it! Feels great!" Tania giggled melodiously, "Why do you ask?"

"I dunno, I just asked because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable..."

Tania punched Mike's shoulder lightly, "Oh you! Don't worry about me, I feel great! But you know what would make me feel better?"

Mike folded his arms over and smiled. He already knew where this was likely going. "What would make you feel better, hon?"

Tania blushed a little and hid her face, "Well, calling me 'hon' is a pretty good start~ But what would really make me feel better is if you..." Tania presented Mike with her index finger and giggled slightly, before finishing her statement, "Pulled my finger~"

Mike blushed, and rolled his eyes, "Alright, just for you." He gave Tania's finger a tug.

BLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFLLLLLLMMMMBBBBLLLLLLRRRRROOOOOOOORRRRRRRRSSSSSPPPPLLLLRRRRRRCCCCHH-VVVBBBLLLLLLRRRRRSSSSSHHHHHT!

Much like Tania's shart in the cafe, this potent butt bomb lasted nearly ten seconds, and only added to the mushy mess in the back of her trousers. Tania's expression was that of pure, blissful relief, and she leaned against Mike for the duration of the release. Towards the end of the blast, where the force of the shart increased to accommodate for more solid shit, Tania squeaked slightly before sighing. She nuzzled into Mike, which prompted him to wrap an arm around her shoulder.

"Mmm, thank you Mike~ That was such a relief to get out~" Tania shuffled up closer to Mike, causing him to blush, "It's nice to have someone to share this with~"

"It's nice to have someone actually do it..." Mike said as he kissed Tania on the forehead. "But uh... Shouldn't you go to the toilet at some point?"

Tania put a finger to her chin and thought, "Hmmmmmmmm... Well, it would feel pretty great to clog a couple of toilets, but it'd be a shame to not have you there to witness it..." She shifted slightly on the bench, draping one of her legs over Mike, "Only solution I see is if I took you home~"

Mike felt his face heat up, and he flushed red, "I-I-You-That- On the first date?"

Tania giggled and shifted onto Mike's lap, "Just so you can watch me take a dump, sweetie. We can't have sex on the first date - I do have standards~"

BBLLLLMMPPPRRRRRCHT! Pfffffffsssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssssssssssssssssst!

An explosive shart punctuated her statement, followed by a hissing silent-but-deadly. The air around them reeked of sewage and waste, which only caused Tania to giggle more.

"Though then again," Tania continued, "I have been messing my panties in public - I don't exactly have high standards~"

Mike shook his head and sighed, "I feel incredibly lucky to have you..."

Tania stood up and helped Mike up to his feet, "It isn't luck that made me indulge our fetish~ It's just in my perverted nature~"

---
Tania, with Mike in tow, practically skipped through the streets of the city and towards an apartment building, not unlike the one Mike stayed in. Tania couldn't stop giggling as she took out her keys, unlocked the front door and dragged Mike up the steps to her apartment. When she unlocked the door to her main apartment, Mike's heart skipped a beat.

The interior was like some sort of penthouse suite, much larger than Mike had expected, but not surprising considering Tania's father was a billionaire. There was so much living space, with plenty of furniture and a sizeable kitchen area. Mike barely had any time to take it in, however, as Tania whisked him through to what he assumed was her bedroom - it was a large, stark white room with a double bed, and a balcony at the far wall. The covers were neatly laid out on the bed, and on her desk there was a laptop which was very obviously open on a video of a girl farting. Tania didn't seem to care when she saw the open laptop - Mike would have questioned it, but instead he was dragged along into Tania's en-suite bathroom.

Given the grandeur of the rest of the apartment, it was no surprise that the bathroom was fairly large and clean. That was, apart from the toilet. The toilet seat was clean, as was the whole outside of the bowl, but the inside was practically painted with skid marks. Mike didn't have much of a chance to get a good look, however, as his view was promptly blocked by Tania, who started unbuckling her trousers. As she pulled them down, it became apparent just how severely she had demolished her panties - they were caked with moist brown waste, and she practically had to peel them off of her ass. They were mushy, sticky, and downright smelly... But Mike found it all the more attractive because of that.

"Like what you see?~" Tania said as she tossed the used panties into the toilet. She winked and wiggled her filthy ass in front of Mike, before turning around and taking a seat on the toilet, "Fun fact, this is actually a high-suction toilet, designed to never get clogged..."

A low, bubbling grumble rung out from Tania's tummy.

"But of course, I clog it on the regular just for fun~" And with that, she grunted.

SSSSSPPPLLLLVVVLLLLRRRRCCCCHHHHLLLPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFLLLLLLRRRRMMMMBBBBBLLLLSSSSCCHHHHHSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHKKKPPPLLLLLPT!

A forceful shart shot down into the bowl below, spraying a layer of brown gunk into the water. Tania's expression was practically euphoric as she let a long, soft log curl out of her, descending into the toilet without breaking off. Mike stood in awe, shocked at just how loud the wet, spluttering release was. Tania beckoned him forward, and he complied, stepping closer. Tania grabbed his hand and pulled him down slightly, so that he was knelt next to her. She grasped the back of his head and held him close. The sheer intensity of the sewage smell was nearly unbearable for Mike, but even as his eyes watered he couldn't imagine a better situation to be stuck in. He was content just to be in that moment - next to Tania as she bombed her toilet with ease.

BLLLLRRRROOOOORRRRMMMMBBBBLLLLLSSSSPPPLLLLLRRRCCCHHHHHKKKPPPPPLLLLRRRRRUUUUUMMMMBBBBLLLSSSSSHHHCCCHHHHHHPPPRRRRRRRFFFFT!

Another explosive fart launched semi-solid shit downwards, beginning to pile up on top of the rest of Tania's dump. Mike breathed in and out, calm and content, but he could swear there was something oddly familiar about Tania's stench... He couldn't quite place it though, and it wasn't just from her various sharts throughout the day. Either way, even when it stung to breathe in, he found it oddly comforting. He rested his head on her thighs slightly, and she petted him gently.

"Are you ready for the grand finale?~" Tania whispered, which sent chills of arousal down Mike's back. "Because it's coming in three... Two... One...~"

Pffffffssssssss-ssssssffffffssssssshhhhhhhhhhhssssssssssss...SssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssffffffffffffssssssst-sssssst...!

"...Aw come on!" Tania huffed and pouted, as only a stuttering silent fart managed to escape her. "I know there's something big in there, but it just won't budge..."

Mike looked up at Tania, and then down at her tummy, "Do you need some help?"

Tania blushed, but didn't lose her cheeky grin as she lifted her shirt, "Be my guest, massage away~"

Mike placed a hand on Tania's stomach, and began to gently massage her midriff. Tania practically cooed in delight, and clutched her thighs softly. Mike could feel Tania's bowels bubbling up against his hand, and it was an oddly relaxing sensation. He pressed hard on the centre of her stomach, causing her to moan squeakily and clutch the underside of the toilet seat.

"Mmmmnnnngh... Ohhhhhh here it coooooomes...~" Tania shut one of her eyes and strained.

SsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-SPLLLLLRRRRRCCCCCHHHHHKKKPPPPRRRRRRRFFFFFFLLLLRRRRROOOOOORRRRRRRRBBLLLLLLLMMMMMMVVVVVVVVVVLLLLLLLLRRRRRUUUUUUUUMBBBBBLLLLSSPPLLCKT!

It started out the same as before - a toxic, humid SBD - but soon broke out into a messy detonation of half-liquid, half-solid faecal matter. The formless chunks of shit splattered into the bowl and added to the pile below her. The sound of splashing water was long gone, replaced with gross splatters as her waste began to thoroughly fill the bowl. She lulled her head back in relaxation as her bowels cut loose, lost in the moment of pure, messy stink. Mike was so close to the smell that he felt as though he might pass out, but thankfully he didn't. He didn't want to miss a single moment...

Eventually, Tania's dump died down, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She wiped her forehead and giggled, finally letting go of Mike's head and letting him take a breath of comparatively-fresh air.

"Pheeeeew, I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did~" Tania said as she wafted over her lap. Mike got to his feet and nodded, blushing heavily.

"That was... Intense... But also kind of familiar..." Mike coughed slightly - Tania had thoroughly polluted the air in the bathroom.

Tania stood up and, seeing how much she had filled the bowl, didn't bother to flush. Instead, she just wiped off her ass as best she could, putting the toilet paper on top of her monumental pile like she was decorating a cake. "Oh, I might know why! When I was working on collecting biological data for my human body, I actually managed to collect some data on Kristi's bowel conditions. I was then able to replicate those conditions for my own body."

"That'll be why I was getting a strange sense of Déjà Vu..." Mike thought out loud as Tania washed her hands off. She left her trousers by the toilet - given how messy they were, she didn't bother putting them back on.

Tania exited the bathroom and flopped onto her large bed. She lay there for a minute or two, before she looked up at Mike. "Aren't you gonna lie in bed too?"

For a moment, Mike looked as though he had been asked an insane question. Eventually, he shook off the confusion and nodded. "Right right... Yeah, sorry I just kind of zoned out." He sat down on the edge of the bed and lay back, lying next to Tania.

Tania rolled over and looked at him. "Sooooooo... How do you think today went? Good first date? Too much fetish stuff and not enough talking? I've never been on a date before, so I'm curious."

Mike smirked a little at her, "Well, forget the date bit - this is probably the best day of my life, full stop. You were amazing..."

Tania shuffled up closer to him and nuzzled into his chest, "You didn't sound so sure about that last bit..."

Mike glanced at her, his eyes widening, "Oh, no no no! I did seriously think you were amazing... It's just... You were almost too amazing... Don't you deserve someone better than me...?"

Tania covered her mouth and giggled, trying not to laugh too much, "Better than you? But you're so sweet and kind to me! Sure you were a bit awkward at first, and still kind of are, but... Well, going by your logic, I'd deserve someone who makes me happy, right? And you make me happy. Therefore... I do deserve you! And you deserve me!"

Mike hugged her close, "If you say so... I just worry that I'm not good enough for you..."

"Mikey, I'm a supercomputer-powered A.I., and I say you're great for me. It's practically a fact!"

"I'm not sure that's how that-"

"Shhh shhh sh!" She put a finger on his lips and smirked, "Not another word, I'm right and you're great."

"But I-"

"Shh!"

"But-"

"Shush!" Tania giggled gently.

"...Ah alright, I give in, you're right," He ruffled Tania's hair softly, only causing her to giggle more.

Tania sat up on the bed and looked down at him, "I'm going to shower, you stay riiiiight here, and when I'm out we'll have even more fun~" She quickly skipped back into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Mike sat up and sighed contentedly. Today had gone... Way better than he had expected. Given that he'd started the day ridiculously hung over and alone on his birthday, it was surprising that he was now dating an incredible A.I. girl who was smart, funny, dorky and incredibly perverted... It was almost too good to be true. Better still, it wasn't even midday yet, and he was still at her place... They could get up to all kinds of stuff in the afternoon...

Mike pulled out his phone, and flicked through his contacts. He scrolled through them alphabetically, past the A's and the H's, down through until he reached the K's. He selected Kristi's name, and thought about what he should message her. She'd introduced him to Tania, and had been looking out for him for so long... He felt like he should apologise for how he'd acted or something...

BLLLLLLLLLMMMMMPPPPPRRRROOOOOOOORRRRRRPT!

A loud, bubbling fart resounded from behind the bathroom door.

"Phew! Guess I'm still not empty!~ You hear that one, Mikey?~" Tania called over the sound of the shower water running.

"Sure did, hon!" Mike called back, before turning his attention back to his phone. He had to tell Kristi something... Eventually, he decided there was really only one thing he could say. He began typing out his message, but he only wrote two words.

"Thank you."

(Previous story in chronology: Peace At Last... [Miri] )
(Next story in chronology: Street Wolf [Syra] )