HOME | DD

Joey245 [2015-05-28 20:37:36 +0000 UTC]

(Fair warning: this comment's mostly a rant about a pet peeve of mine that came up in this particular page. Read it if you're bored, or don't if you don't care. This is just something that irritates the hell out of me, and in no way reflects on the quality of the work. Keep up the good work, Team Saver. )

Alright, I see this a lot in fiction, and I'm sure you guys have seen it a lot too. It's the idea that CPR (and other means of drowning recovery) are romantic and can count as kisses. Like in this page, Miho's all aqua-ward (teehee) and flustered around Tetsu because he used CPR the other day to save her. And now Kaname's teasing him, saying that she got her first kiss from Tetsu yesterday and how now she, Miho, and Tetsu are a thing now. I understand that the whole "first kiss" thing is a big deal in Japan and Japanese culture, and that this is heavily borrowing from manga and anime but...

*sigh* CPR IS NOT THE SAME DAMN THING AS A KISS.

First off, the whole point of CPR is to make someone who isn't breathing, well, breathe. It's an emergency method to rescue a drowning victim - key word here being emergency. CPR is not the clean, pretty reliable procedure that it's always portrayed as - it's gross, it's messy, it's ineffective, and even if it's performed correctly, it's incredibly dangerous. CPR recipients usually end up with broken ribs as a result of all the pressure, and permanent brain damage isn't uncommon. Most people who recover from CPR rarely live beyond another year or two, even if they make a full recovery (which involves MORE than just CPR, usually). That's not exactly the first thing that comes to mind when I think "romance" - it's the very last thing, even. 

Second, you know how sometimes the rescuee will passionately kiss the rescuer after a successful CPR? Guess what? That never happens. Ever. If the victim starts breathing after swallowing a lungful of water, that water's gotta come out somehow. Usually in the form of immediate puking. Followed by groaning, sore muscles, and one hell of a headache. (Oxygen-dependent muscles minus oxygen equals OW.) So even if the CPR is successful, the rescuer shouldn't be expecting a kiss and eternal love in return; if he did get some sort of reward from the girl he saved, it usually comes in the form of a face full of watery bile.

Third, there's some nasty implications in the idea that CPR is a kiss that kick-starts a relationship. I mean think about it. It's not really love, is it? It's not the same thing at all. If there's any affection afterwards, it's usually just a result of feeling grateful to be alive, mixed with a little bit of hero worship. The implication that whoever gives you CPR deserves your eternal love is demeaning, unreasonable, and more than a little horrifying; especially in Japan, where (from what I understand) kissing is an act of intimacy on equal footing with sexual intercourse here in the States. And there's also the fact that if CPR is a kiss - which it isn't - that basically means that the rescuer is "kissing" the victim, without permission, without invitation, and without any real way for the victim to protest or fight back. See where I'm going with this? Can anyone here say "consent" for a kiss like this? The girl certainly can't at the moment - she's a little too busy puking up water.

I'm sorry if this rant sounded a little disgusting, but that's the whole point I'm trying to make! CPR is disgusting, and it was never meant to be pretty or romantic! It's not supposed to be an act of love, it's supposed to be a medical procedure! Like stitching up a bleeding wound, or removing a tumor, or amputating a leg - it's ugly as all hell, which is why it's only used when things have gone completely wrong, when lives are on the line and when no other options are available.

Whew! Sorry again about the rant; it's nothing personal against either Saver or Aster, both of whom are doing an excellent job on this series. It's just one of the things that really pisses me off in fiction. It's part of the reason why I can't stand Baywatch or other shows based around teens and beaches. (That and the god-awful songs they always use.)

Keep up the awesome work! 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

D0minatus [2015-02-26 01:29:27 +0000 UTC]

lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Aqua311 [2015-02-25 16:53:14 +0000 UTC]

Threesome date? Lucky guy.

👍: 1 ⏩: 2