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werewolftg β€” what if zira 2 new soldier

Published: 2014-06-17 23:05:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 208; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Description Zuro grunted as the lioness dig her nails into his fur as she talked about her great aunt zira as she told her that she will kill kovu and Kiara children and not fail her as she gather lioness and lion with other cubs as he was kept away from the other cubs as he was done training as she told him lies as he grew stronger in his light purple eyes as zire smiled as her plan was beginning
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Comments: 7

SoliDeoGloria1999 [2014-06-17 23:09:42 +0000 UTC]

May i give you some adviceΒ 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

werewolftg In reply to SoliDeoGloria1999 [2014-06-17 23:13:39 +0000 UTC]

sure

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoliDeoGloria1999 In reply to werewolftg [2014-06-17 23:19:00 +0000 UTC]

When your doing a story in the description dont say "as he blah blah as she blah blah" saying as in every sentence can get the reader bored the storys good but try to change your wording other than "as..."

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

werewolftg In reply to SoliDeoGloria1999 [2014-06-17 23:20:56 +0000 UTC]

Yeah i know i say as a lot but i try and thanks again...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoliDeoGloria1999 In reply to werewolftg [2014-06-17 23:21:47 +0000 UTC]

Ok and not a problemΒ 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

werewolftg In reply to SoliDeoGloria1999 [2014-06-17 23:30:57 +0000 UTC]

Thx

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoliDeoGloria1999 In reply to werewolftg [2014-06-17 23:32:58 +0000 UTC]

Np

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0