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Levi stared at you in horror as you stood before him in the dimly lit room. He didn’t want to go through this again. Every time this happened he felt a little part of himself die. Despite how much he so desperately wanted to look away, he simply couldn’t. His eyes were stuck on you as you swayed there ever so gently, giving him a sweet smile.

“I missed you, Levi,” you told him. Your voice was sweet, but empty. As were you.

“Stop this, damn it. Just go away, I don’t want anything to do with you!” he shouted, his voice ringing with the choked cries of a broken man.

Your face contorted into one of sadness at his harshness. Even for the Captain, his words seemed to be riddled with a venomous tone that’d poison even the mightiest of warriors. “But Levi…”

He hated himself. He detested everything he was. He was pathetic, unreliable, unstable. Every time he heard that damned whimper of yours, or saw that frown crinkling your beautiful face, he no longer had the strength to argue. He loved you, gods did he love you, and seeing you as anything but happy cut him deeper than any sword could.

And so, once again, he gave into you. Why wouldn’t he? It was the same damn thing every single night. It was a repetitive hell he couldn’t escape, but also knew he didn’t have the strength to endure.

He walked towards you, his visage twisting in anger and frustration but his eyes expressing more sorrow than any soul should hold. “I’m sorry…” he whispered. “Please forgive me, [First]. I never meant to hurt you; I swear I never meant to hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, looking at him with your face riddled with bewilderment. “Levi, you’re acting really strange. Let’s just forget this and go to sleep, okay? You’re tired; you’ve been working yourself too hard again.”

You always worried for his health, you constantly told him he should get more rest and would even go as far as to give him his coffee when he needed to stay awake, or hold him when he needed to go to sleep. All you ever wanted was his happiness. He deserved it, you knew he did.

For a fleeting moment he almost believed you were there with him, but when he raised his hand to cup your cheek it fell right through. The memories came surging back.

That damned expedition. He should’ve told you to stay back; he should’ve gone further than that and told you to leave the Regiment. The life of a scout was a despicable one, not one you deserved at all, no; you deserved all the happiness in the world, not the tainted battles and constant deaths of the Regiment.

He was watching you like a hawk, making sure that you wouldn’t get injured, just as he did every other expedition. It comforted you to know that he was looking out for you; you had gone as far as to call him your own guardian angel. He thought it was a stupid term, and would often call you a child for spouting such nonsense, but even so you still referred to him as such. He’d never admit that it made him feel oddly pleased.

But you were separated. You each had different objectives to achieve and it didn’t matter how much you wanted to stick together, you had to part ways in order to gain the upper hand that you sorely needed.

You saw how much it hurt him, and being the person you were you had attempted to comfort him. You tried to kiss him that day, but he brushed you off and told you to focus on the mission.

If he could turn back to that moment he would’ve kissed you like his life depended on it. He would’ve told you how much he loved you and held you close to his body long enough for him to remember how you felt against him. He’d slaughter every damn Titan that came close to you just to stay at your side, just to hold you that little bit more.

But he didn’t, and you understood.

He only realised how much of a failure he truly was when you came back to him in a body bag.

It was stained with your blood, and contained only your broken limbs – what was left of them, anyhow.

Levi didn’t speak for days. He barely ate, and sleeping alone after being with you for so long proved to be difficult. The other scouts had seen the evident change in the Captain, but none of their consoling words could help him out of the rut he was stuck in. He wasn’t Levi anymore, just a hollow shell of the man that once was.

His guilt would constantly project your image to him, every damn night, he couldn’t escape it. It made him weak. He hated it.

You – or rather, the figment of his imagination that bore your image – gazed sadly up at him. “Levi?” your voice echoed. “Please don’t be sad. I love you.”

Whenever you said those words he’d break down into a sobbing wreck. He covered his mouth with his hand and tried to stem his misery, but it was a futile attempt. “Fuck,” he hissed under his breath. “I miss you. Why couldn’t I save you? Please just come back to me.”

Hanji had overheard Levi’s voice in his room, and opened the door to his quarters to reveal the same thing she saw every other night. The same thing that would always make her heart heavy with pity and grief.

Him, huddled together, sobbing weakly on the stoned floor and begging for your return.

Description
Levi stared at you in horror as you stood before him in the dimly lit room. He didn’t want to go through this again. Every time this happened he felt a little part of himself die. Despite how much he so desperately wanted to look away, he simply couldn’t. His eyes were stuck on you as you swayed there ever so gently, giving him a sweet smile.

“I missed you, Levi,” you told him. Your voice was sweet, but empty. As were you.

“Stop this, damn it. Just go away, I don’t want anything to do with you!” he shouted, his voice ringing with the choked cries of a broken man.

Your face contorted into one of sadness at his harshness. Even for the Captain, his words seemed to be riddled with a venomous tone that’d poison even the mightiest of warriors. “But Levi…”

He hated himself. He detested everything he was. He was pathetic, unreliable, unstable. Every time he heard that damned whimper of yours, or saw that frown crinkling your beautiful face, he no longer had the strength to argue. He loved you, gods did he love you, and seeing you as anything but happy cut him deeper than any sword could.

And so, once again, he gave into you. Why wouldn’t he? It was the same damn thing every single night. It was a repetitive hell he couldn’t escape, but also knew he didn’t have the strength to endure.

He walked towards you, his visage twisting in anger and frustration but his eyes expressing more sorrow than any soul should hold. “I’m sorry…” he whispered. “Please forgive me, [First]. I never meant to hurt you; I swear I never meant to hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, looking at him with your face riddled with bewilderment. “Levi, you’re acting really strange. Let’s just forget this and go to sleep, okay? You’re tired; you’ve been working yourself too hard again.”

You always worried for his health, you constantly told him he should get more rest and would even go as far as to give him his coffee when he needed to stay awake, or hold him when he needed to go to sleep. All you ever wanted was his happiness. He deserved it, you knew he did.

For a fleeting moment he almost believed you were there with him, but when he raised his hand to cup your cheek it fell right through. The memories came surging back.

That damned expedition. He should’ve told you to stay back; he should’ve gone further than that and told you to leave the Regiment. The life of a scout was a despicable one, not one you deserved at all, no; you deserved all the happiness in the world, not the tainted battles and constant deaths of the Regiment.

He was watching you like a hawk, making sure that you wouldn’t get injured, just as he did every other expedition. It comforted you to know that he was looking out for you; you had gone as far as to call him your own guardian angel. He thought it was a stupid term, and would often call you a child for spouting such nonsense, but even so you still referred to him as such. He’d never admit that it made him feel oddly pleased.

But you were separated. You each had different objectives to achieve and it didn’t matter how much you wanted to stick together, you had to part ways in order to gain the upper hand that you sorely needed.

You saw how much it hurt him, and being the person you were you had attempted to comfort him. You tried to kiss him that day, but he brushed you off and told you to focus on the mission.

If he could turn back to that moment he would’ve kissed you like his life depended on it. He would’ve told you how much he loved you and held you close to his body long enough for him to remember how you felt against him. He’d slaughter every damn Titan that came close to you just to stay at your side, just to hold you that little bit more.

But he didn’t, and you understood.

He only realised how much of a failure he truly was when you came back to him in a body bag.

It was stained with your blood, and contained only your broken limbs – what was left of them, anyhow.

Levi didn’t speak for days. He barely ate, and sleeping alone after being with you for so long proved to be difficult. The other scouts had seen the evident change in the Captain, but none of their consoling words could help him out of the rut he was stuck in. He wasn’t Levi anymore, just a hollow shell of the man that once was.

His guilt would constantly project your image to him, every damn night, he couldn’t escape it. It made him weak. He hated it.

You – or rather, the figment of his imagination that bore your image – gazed sadly up at him. “Levi?” your voice echoed. “Please don’t be sad. I love you.”

Whenever you said those words he’d break down into a sobbing wreck. He covered his mouth with his hand and tried to stem his misery, but it was a futile attempt. “Fuck,” he hissed under his breath. “I miss you. Why couldn’t I save you? Please just come back to me.”

Hanji had overheard Levi’s voice in his room, and opened the door to his quarters to reveal the same thing she saw every other night. The same thing that would always make her heart heavy with pity and grief.

Him, huddled together, sobbing weakly on the stoned floor and begging for your return.