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Description
Vent Ahead ;;;
Just trigger warning for sensitive material
Sorry I know I gotta YCH it finish and I gotta do those pet requests I accepted I just haven't had much inspiration for the last week or so ;;

So um im just really emotionally exhuasted ;;; I woke up from a horrible dream last night and couldn't even feel my body. i dont really know whats going on,,, ive been hanging out with people a lot in the last month and i think its just getting to be too much interaction
Ive been physically sick pretty bad for about 4 weeks now?
I've have fevers and shakes and sore throats and nausea and hot flashes and stuff that is too icky to even put here
mom and i were searching up my reoccuring issues again lately and we realized i might be anemic,,, i have a lot of issues that fit almost all of the symptoms
I haven't gotten the flu yet but about half of my first period was absent from it today so its only a matter of time
also my nightmares and thinking at night have been getting more fucked up again so im starting to fall back into not wanting to sleep. i got through probably 4 months of mostly soft nightmares, or nightmares that become good dreams at the end so i dont wake up feeling sick or violated or haunted but they stopped now
ive not been enjoying music much
everything i like listening to sounds repetative and too loud and fake
the only things that have kept me feeling like life is worth it is my parakeets and my two best friends (Mars and Alecia)
my bird babus have been so so good to me,,, lafayette doesnt bite anymore, he only does nips when hes spooked or uncomfortable with being handled at a specific time
laurens is so fucking good
he loves to climb on top of my shoulder or head and loves interacting with new people
Schuyler is getting better at being handled. she likes to chew on her perches though to she can be nippy when she steps up

we are trying to find a seperate cage for laf because the girls are actually pretty mean to him,, they wont let him eat if they are and Schuyler makes him sit below her at all times. if shes on the lowest perch he has to sit on the floor of the cage or she pushes him out onto the ground. im worried about his feet getting messed up if he has to sit on the bottom all the time and i dont want him to feel unsafe
also im trying to avoid them breeding,, i dont want them to have babies because i would need to not get attached to them as well as find them owners that will engage with them

there's a chance i might be getting a cockatiel soon, as early as three weeks from now and as late as summer vaca

my parents and i are moving in with my grandma, and i cant wait
she lives literally right down the street and her house has built in heat !! no more fucking space heaters and ice cold asses when you sit down on the toilet!!!

and im having meatloaf for dinner w corn and mash potatos (mmmmm loof)
woah this vent helped me a lot,,, i dont want to read through it and make myself sad again so im sorry if there are typos
my chest feels really tight because i cant fully express my feelings but this loosened it a little

thank you to anyone who read this whole thing
im kinda tearing up right now because i looked over and saw me sweet birdies,, they give me so much drive to care for myself,,,
ive been trying to shower more
ive been eating more fruit
ive been eating less ramen and microwave mac and cheese

having something that depends on me helps me so much because it means that if i don take care of the dependent AND myself, we both suffer. They give me a shred of self worth that cats dont give me since my assholes practically take care of themselves. god i love birds

Description
Vent Ahead ;;;
Just trigger warning for sensitive material
Sorry I know I gotta YCH it finish and I gotta do those pet requests I accepted I just haven't had much inspiration for the last week or so ;;

So um im just really emotionally exhuasted ;;; I woke up from a horrible dream last night and couldn't even feel my body. i dont really know whats going on,,, ive been hanging out with people a lot in the last month and i think its just getting to be too much interaction
Ive been physically sick pretty bad for about 4 weeks now?
I've have fevers and shakes and sore throats and nausea and hot flashes and stuff that is too icky to even put here
mom and i were searching up my reoccuring issues again lately and we realized i might be anemic,,, i have a lot of issues that fit almost all of the symptoms
I haven't gotten the flu yet but about half of my first period was absent from it today so its only a matter of time
also my nightmares and thinking at night have been getting more fucked up again so im starting to fall back into not wanting to sleep. i got through probably 4 months of mostly soft nightmares, or nightmares that become good dreams at the end so i dont wake up feeling sick or violated or haunted but they stopped now
ive not been enjoying music much
everything i like listening to sounds repetative and too loud and fake
the only things that have kept me feeling like life is worth it is my parakeets and my two best friends (Mars and Alecia)
my bird babus have been so so good to me,,, lafayette doesnt bite anymore, he only does nips when hes spooked or uncomfortable with being handled at a specific time
laurens is so fucking good
he loves to climb on top of my shoulder or head and loves interacting with new people
Schuyler is getting better at being handled. she likes to chew on her perches though to she can be nippy when she steps up

we are trying to find a seperate cage for laf because the girls are actually pretty mean to him,, they wont let him eat if they are and Schuyler makes him sit below her at all times. if shes on the lowest perch he has to sit on the floor of the cage or she pushes him out onto the ground. im worried about his feet getting messed up if he has to sit on the bottom all the time and i dont want him to feel unsafe
also im trying to avoid them breeding,, i dont want them to have babies because i would need to not get attached to them as well as find them owners that will engage with them

there's a chance i might be getting a cockatiel soon, as early as three weeks from now and as late as summer vaca

my parents and i are moving in with my grandma, and i cant wait
she lives literally right down the street and her house has built in heat !! no more fucking space heaters and ice cold asses when you sit down on the toilet!!!

and im having meatloaf for dinner w corn and mash potatos (mmmmm loof)
woah this vent helped me a lot,,, i dont want to read through it and make myself sad again so im sorry if there are typos
my chest feels really tight because i cant fully express my feelings but this loosened it a little

thank you to anyone who read this whole thing
im kinda tearing up right now because i looked over and saw me sweet birdies,, they give me so much drive to care for myself,,,
ive been trying to shower more
ive been eating more fruit
ive been eating less ramen and microwave mac and cheese

having something that depends on me helps me so much because it means that if i don take care of the dependent AND myself, we both suffer. They give me a shred of self worth that cats dont give me since my assholes practically take care of themselves. god i love birds