HOME | DD

Description
Nitris: "Sometimes... Sometimes I think too much. I second guess myself on everything, but it's worse on the big things. I reflect on who I was and who I am. I was in a safe place once. I was never a child, I was never important, I was never given the treatment I needed, and I was never given my own rights. But I was safe.

"I look at who I am... And I don't know what to think. I'm no different from anyone else here; I just exist. I'm expendable. Maybe that's why I take risks- I mean, if I fuck up it would only be on me. But now I have you to take care of, so now if I make a mistake it falls on you too. You also suffer my repercussions. I have someone to depend on, and someone to disappoint. I look at myself, and I can't tell if I made the right choices. At least back then the road- albeit a crappy one- was clear. Now it... Now everything has blurred together, and I've lost my way. I look at myself, and I'm lost."

Satoru: "... Well, if I should say anything, it's that you could never screw up too bad with me. I'm a lost cause as it is, and quite frankly I'm more of baggage than a companion if you think about it. But I don't really see a problem with being lost."

Nitris: "How can you not see a problem with that? It-"

Satoru: "Because, back home, I was taught to experiment. I was taught to make mistakes. People always told me that it was okay to feel a little confused at times, and that eventually everything would come to me. It took time, and I'm still waiting on a few answers, but they were right. I guess in Nihilo it makes sense to be as stressed as you are; here there's little margin for error and not many people live long enough to correct their mistakes."

Nitris: "Exactly."

Satoru: "But...-"

Nitris "But...?"

Satoru: "But no one lives forever. If you spend your entire life in safety or second guessing all the time, then you're not living a life at all. It's only then that someone is only existing instead of living. When I die, I wanna die happy. I wanna be able to lie there and see the good times, and the bad, and I'm going to be smiling. Even the worst of times won't seem so bad, because at least they happened. At least I was there, at least it happened to me. At least I was alive.

"I don't see straight either Nitris, but-" holds her hand "-at least I'm not walking this road alone."

Nitris: sniffles "I think I'm feeling better now."

Satoru: "And if it means anything, I think the person you've become is pretty fucking legit."

Nitris: "Why'd you have to ruin it?"

I've been having a lot of stress recently, and I wanted to vent most of what I was feeling in this picture and dialogue. My worst enemy is myself, what can I say? :'D

On a cosmetic note, the last drawing I posted of Nitris showed her with a cut on the bridge of her nose, and I decided to make it a scar. Also her hair is in a ponytail instead of a braid.

Characters ©
Do not edit or repost~

Other Nihilo stuff:

About Nihilo:
MEET THE GOOFSSince
I started focusing more on my ocs, I felt like it was finally time to start making character refs. And then my tablet broke :T
So instead I'm going to, for the moment, make written refs (plus this way I can get more detailed on their personalities). I will update this journal each time I add a new character reference or when new information pops up, just to spare time.
REGARDING DRAWING REFERENCES
None of my characters follow an uniform status quo- meaning their clothing changes regularly. However, I must emphasize that Nihilo, which is actually sovereign Alaska, is for the most part extremely cold, so it'd be very unlikely for characters to wear warm weather clothes.

Satoru Ichiro
Aka my icon
Age: 15
Born: September 18th
Motto: "Do no harm but take no shit."
Favorite color: Saffron
Brief: Satoru has been raised by his brother, Satoshi, ever since their parents went missing in Nihilo

Description
Nitris: "Sometimes... Sometimes I think too much. I second guess myself on everything, but it's worse on the big things. I reflect on who I was and who I am. I was in a safe place once. I was never a child, I was never important, I was never given the treatment I needed, and I was never given my own rights. But I was safe.

"I look at who I am... And I don't know what to think. I'm no different from anyone else here; I just exist. I'm expendable. Maybe that's why I take risks- I mean, if I fuck up it would only be on me. But now I have you to take care of, so now if I make a mistake it falls on you too. You also suffer my repercussions. I have someone to depend on, and someone to disappoint. I look at myself, and I can't tell if I made the right choices. At least back then the road- albeit a crappy one- was clear. Now it... Now everything has blurred together, and I've lost my way. I look at myself, and I'm lost."

Satoru: "... Well, if I should say anything, it's that you could never screw up too bad with me. I'm a lost cause as it is, and quite frankly I'm more of baggage than a companion if you think about it. But I don't really see a problem with being lost."

Nitris: "How can you not see a problem with that? It-"

Satoru: "Because, back home, I was taught to experiment. I was taught to make mistakes. People always told me that it was okay to feel a little confused at times, and that eventually everything would come to me. It took time, and I'm still waiting on a few answers, but they were right. I guess in Nihilo it makes sense to be as stressed as you are; here there's little margin for error and not many people live long enough to correct their mistakes."

Nitris: "Exactly."

Satoru: "But...-"

Nitris "But...?"

Satoru: "But no one lives forever. If you spend your entire life in safety or second guessing all the time, then you're not living a life at all. It's only then that someone is only existing instead of living. When I die, I wanna die happy. I wanna be able to lie there and see the good times, and the bad, and I'm going to be smiling. Even the worst of times won't seem so bad, because at least they happened. At least I was there, at least it happened to me. At least I was alive.

"I don't see straight either Nitris, but-" holds her hand "-at least I'm not walking this road alone."

Nitris: sniffles "I think I'm feeling better now."

Satoru: "And if it means anything, I think the person you've become is pretty fucking legit."

Nitris: "Why'd you have to ruin it?"

I've been having a lot of stress recently, and I wanted to vent most of what I was feeling in this picture and dialogue. My worst enemy is myself, what can I say? :'D

On a cosmetic note, the last drawing I posted of Nitris showed her with a cut on the bridge of her nose, and I decided to make it a scar. Also her hair is in a ponytail instead of a braid.

Characters ©
Do not edit or repost~

Other Nihilo stuff:

About Nihilo:
MEET THE GOOFSSince
I started focusing more on my ocs, I felt like it was finally time to start making character refs. And then my tablet broke :T
So instead I'm going to, for the moment, make written refs (plus this way I can get more detailed on their personalities). I will update this journal each time I add a new character reference or when new information pops up, just to spare time.
REGARDING DRAWING REFERENCES
None of my characters follow an uniform status quo- meaning their clothing changes regularly. However, I must emphasize that Nihilo, which is actually sovereign Alaska, is for the most part extremely cold, so it'd be very unlikely for characters to wear warm weather clothes.

Satoru Ichiro
Aka my icon
Age: 15
Born: September 18th
Motto: "Do no harm but take no shit."
Favorite color: Saffron
Brief: Satoru has been raised by his brother, Satoshi, ever since their parents went missing in Nihilo