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Wolf-Chalk — Origin of Kings And Queens Pg: 1
Published: 2012-08-24 23:38:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 2570; Favourites: 48; Downloads: 0
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By popular demand, I have decided to start the real first page. Yea, this: Wasn't the first page but is a page in the comic that'll show up eventually. Like all great tales, our heroine starts out small...Niara is also my nod to all the orange Urus people seem to perfer so, yea xD
If you want to see more, it depends if people WANT more so please, leave your favs and comments! They all mean alot!
NOTE: About the sketch lines, I can't get rid of them. I drew on a layer I wasn't supposed to so I fixed what I could. Trust me, those sketch lines were far worse than they are now xD
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Comments: 28
This looks really good for a start! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="
e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="
First off, I really like the flow here. It starts to tell a story and makes the reader feel like a part of the action (or drama). The way you set up the word balloons is good, too. In the future, though, I don't think you need to show as many "moments" in the page. Some actions require more "moments" for the full effect (for example, showing a character who turns away, closes their eyes, and then sighs might sometimes have a much stronger effect if all three actions are shown individually instead of all at once). For example, I don't think the first headshot of Uru's mother is really necessary, and the shot of her body from behind might be enough. And then showing her face while she continues the dialogue might be a better way to set it up.
The only other thing that bothers me with the flow is the eyes in the last panel shot. I think I know what I'm supposed to be looking at (Uru in the last panel), but I'm a little unclear as to where she is. I don't know if this interferes with your story at all (as far as building suspence is concerned), but I think if you showing an above angle shot of infant Uru in her mother's paws (instead of the two eyes only panels) you might have a better effect for setting up your next page. Just a suggestion.
Your style looks pretty good, but the sketch lines (especially the ones in the face area) are pretty distracting -- to me anyway. I appreciate the fact that you're going for a quick and easy time art-wise, but the trick is to not make it look that way. Take a few extra minutes to clean up those stray lines. You and your readers will be the better for it. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/n/n… " width="15" height="15" alt="
So, overall, it's a very good first page! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c… " width="20" height="20" alt="
e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="25" height="25" alt="
(For further reading on how to better your comics in understanding and design, read Scott McCloud's books Understanding Comics and Making Comics. Both are invaluable to the comic reader and the comic creator.)
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I agree with the sketch lines needing to be removed...It really detracts from the page.
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Yeah, those were my thoughts as well.
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Those eyes are fantastic! Great work, looking forward to seeing more
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Awwies!
I'm so happy that someone else decided to look up the translation of Lion King names. I discovered the secret behind Kovu's name... hehe...
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xD Thanks. I always enjoy finding out the meanings of names and such. Adds alot to the characters.
*COUGH*SCAR*COUGH*
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*COUGH*Don'tgiveitaway*COUGH*
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*COUGH*TOOLATE*COUGH*
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WE WANT !!! The comic is looking pretty professional so far, and I should know since I studied cartoon and animation for the past year. XD I'm excited to see where the story goes! And if you ever have time, would you be willing to do a little tutorial for how you do comic pages such as this? I could really use some help, my digital cartoon skills aren't quite there yet and I'm about to start a project that will most likely last years! (I'm talking about WMHB, but I've been changing it a lot including the title.) Anyway, great job!!!
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Thanks
I might do a turtorial along the line when I have time though tbh, its very simple. Unlike my other stuff thats done by hand, this was all done with the mouse so what I do is I prescript the page I wanna do (I normally don't script the entire thing because lets face it, prewriting is far from my forte xD) and I sketch the characters up. Once I fill say the left corner with a scene, I add the box panal. Maybe it would be better for me to just try livestreaming it oneday xD
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OF COURSE WE DO! >
Thanks, I think that was quite helpful! Ooh and livestreaming would be so sweet! *3*
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I made a livestream account but I have NO idea how to use it xD
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Haha really? XD well I don't even have one, so I'm probably even more clueless to how one works than you. :'D
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Oh, I want to see more of this! First page in and it's awesome!
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I don't understand what you mean.
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Was´t your version of Uru yellow?
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Yes. The orange lioness you see here is Uru's mother Niara.
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OOOOOOOOOOh!!!
Sorry im derpy somethimes.(And slow)
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