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I'm worth nothing, though Eslee yet another time as she near frantically paced her room. Her left arm was across her empty stomach while her right was sitting on top of it, upright. Her hand was covering most of her face, which had a distraught expression. Her breaths were short and frenzied while her eyes became unfocused. God, why? Why am I still here? I'm just a whore, there's nothing good about me.
She reached her hand up and covered her eyes while stopping, then turning to sit on her bed. Damn it….why…? Why am I still alive from that time in the alley…? He should have killed me. I can't still be alive. She looked up through blurry vision as a knock on her bedroom door sounded. Blinking and wiping her eyes quickly, she tried to compose herself as much as possible externally while crossing the room to answer.
Breathing noisily out her mouth, she put a shaky hand on the doorknob and took a moment before turning it. Pulling the door back slightly, enough to see who stood at the entrance, she was surprised to see the Omega looking back serenely.
"Hello Eslee," Sannan greeted her. Eslee nodded in return. "Are you feeling all right? You didn't come down from your room at all this morning. Your pack is especially worried about you." Sannan's voice was laced with concern while Eslee tried to suppress the panic rising.
"Of course," she replied, while thinking, they can't know…no, I'm not dragging my friends into this…they don't need to be bothered by me…
"Are you sure? I'm not even in your pack and I'm getting some negative emotions from you," replied she. Then, cocking her head, she proceeded to ask, "You look fatigued too…have you not been getting sleep?"
"I'm fine, honest," said Eslee curtly, then nearly swore aloud in anger at herself. Shit, get a hold of yourself! You have to stay calm or she'll never believe you….who am I kidding, she probably doesn't believe you anyway… Sannan blinked a few times in confusion, before uttering,
"Well, okay…but if you need anything, don't hesitate about coming to us…" Eslee nodded curtly before slowly closing the door. Standing there poised with her hand still on the doorknob, she barely breathed until she heard Sannan's footsteps gradually fade away into silence.  Releasing her unnoticed death grip from the knob, she slowly backed up until she reached her wardrobe.
Letting out a shaky breath, she put her hands on the top of it, steadying herself. Her legs were shaking as her breath became uneven. I need to get away from here….I'll just hurt the rest of the pack… However, before she could move, the doorknob turned as Echo walked in casually, pausing and staring at Eslee with a confused look.
"Eslee?" Eslee didn't reply as she instead turned to look at the bed, then slowly pushed herself from the wardrobe and walked over to it. Her steps were rough as she almost swayed before putting her hands on the top of the mattress. Taking another deep breath, she turned and sat on it, bringing her feet to the bed's frame and holding her head up with one hand.
"Eslee?" Echo repeated, closing the door and walking over to her. She knelt in front of her and reached forward, cupping Eslee's chin with her hand.  She gently pushed her head up, willing Eslee to look into Echo's concerned eyes. Echo immediately felt a surge of anxiety after seeing her lover's disheveled expression. "What's wrong?"
"Echo," began Eslee, more unsteady than she would have liked. Her heart was racing while mind ran thoughts that made it seem as though there was only one option. "Y-you…and me…" Eslee stuttered. Echo stared at her for a bit before putting a hand on the spot on the mattress next to her and pushing herself up on top of it, then turning to sit next to Eslee. Eslee jumped when Echo gently put her hand on Eslee's and squeezed it.
Quickly, Eslee pulled her shaking hand away while Echo stared at her with a slightly shocked and partially hurt expression.  "Eslee?" she asked again, a little more urgent. "What's wrong?" In a few, quick, erratic and almost robotic movements, Eslee put her hands on Echo's shoulders and looked her in the eyes. Echo stared at her stunned, as Eslee sputtered out,
"Me and you…we…it…we can't be together. It's….not working out…but….I…we can't be mates," she finally concluded, feeling completely sick to her stomach. Her heart clenched and twisted in her chest as she watched Echo's expression turn completely horrified, then into a wretched look of pure pain.
"It's….not working out? What do you mean? Tell me, what's wrong?" Eslee tightened her grip on her shoulders while avoiding her gaze.
"It's for your own good," she replied, her voice trembling with every word.  "You…deserve…no, need someone better." Echo stared at her before opening her mouth to reply when Eslee cut her off. "You have to understand. Just….please…you deserve the best…" Then, without waiting for a reply, she let go of Echo's shoulders and stood suddenly, then yanked open the door harshly.
Rushing out into the hallway, then downstairs, Eslee felt as though her senses turned numb. She couldn't hear her pack calling for her, nor could she barely see where she was going. Her body acted on its own while her mind was lost in the thought of seeing Echo's betrayed face.
Slamming the door behind her, she sprinted into town, not pausing until she reached the far side. Stopping and catching her breath, she stared at the drenched ground; tears were flowing freely, soaking her cheeks as well. Standing straight and moving to the side, she found the wall of an alleyway and leaned against it, slowly sliding to the ground.
No…no, what have I done...? How could I be so stupid…? I can't get her face out of my head…that expression…those lost eyes…. She tried, in vain, to wipe her own reddening eyes, smearing the liquid over her face and hands. Only an idiot would make a mistake like that…no, that's not strong enough…I can't describe myself right now….I… too…pathetic…need a release….no, no, I have to suffer this pain myself….she'll haunt me forever, but there should be more…there will be more…
Removing her hands from her eyes, she turned her head to look down the alley, trying to search for anything to cure her taste for pain. I need to burn…I need to burn in hell, yes….god, I'm so stupid, why am I still alive?! She tried standing and failed, not being able to push herself up. She sat against the wall, defeated and drained of any motivation. Her eyes turned blank as she rested her cheek against the wall, losing track of the world round her. Cars seemed to slow as people's voice seemed to run into each other, making a peculiar sound she was deaf to.
There's no point in life…no, just my life…no point… She gently put a hand against the ground next to her, barely supporting her limp body as she stared ahead. Surveying the area slowly, among wreckage against the wall in front of her, she spotted a shine of metal unseen to her before. She blinked a few times before pushing herself forward from the wall. Half crawling forward, she stopped in front of the small pile of random scraps before reaching in and searching for the metal bit. Scarcely realising, or caring, her hand scraping itself against the sharp objects, she finally wrapped her hand round a cold, metal grip and pulled back her bloodied hand.
In her hand was a shiny, black revolver. She looked at blankly while her arms began to check if there was ammo. Without realising, she had removed the magazine, a small part of her managed to register there were at least two bullets left and her body mechanically reloaded the gun. Isn't this perfect…almost too perfect…like it really was my fate… she mused silent, turning it in her hands a few times. They all need to be free from me…their burden…yes…simple, really….easy….when the job's done…
Please, snapped a different, cold voice in her head, sounding like her own with a harsh, previously unheard of resentment behind it. A gunshot? To the head? Simple, like you said, but too simple, you idiot; you really think that's all there is to it? You hurt your love and you family and now you just expect a painless bullet to the brain?! You should be disgusted at yourself.
She felt herself lose her grip on reality while her body seemed to almost begin to collapse on itself as she found herself replying, I'm worthless, though…it's just like taking out the trash…
Please, you're not trash; you're worse than that. You're just nothing. Understand? Absolutely nothing. You shouldn't have lived through that week with you-know-who. Hell, you shouldn't have been born. Eslee's body began to quiver violently. Now put the gun down and just let yourself suffer in silence while realising what a coward and a bitch you are, you worthless piece of shit. Lie down in the ground and just let yourself rot. Eslee blinked a few times, trying to register what had happened when another voice sounded.
Eslee, it called smoothly, and she vaguely thought it sounded similar to Echo's. You're not nothing. What would your family think if they saw you like this? What would Echo think? At the sound of her name, Eslee flinched and cringed, tightening her grip on the suicide weapon laying in her lap.
They would realise what a worthless bitch I am… she replied, her words seeming to shudder while she wondered why she was bothering.  I don't deserve an amazing woman like Echo….she needs someone who…isn't like this…someone…who can do much more for her… She trailed off slowly, staring at the wall in front of her while her thoughts seemed to turn to Echo alone. She's the only one…needs the best…I'd do anything…to give her that…the best…
Get a hold of yourself! the voice commanded sharply, almost snapping Eslee from her cloudy hallucination. What are you thinking?! Suicide?! You know she'd be in so much pain if you did. You know they all would! And you say you want the best for her! Is her more depressed than you the best?! If she knew what was happening right now, you know she'd kill herself just to save you from this nightmare. Do her justice and learn what really makes her happy! Completely quivering, Eslee let the gun slide off her lap and fall to the ground as she was pushed over the edge. Barely able to bring her hands up to eye level, she managed to hold them there for a few seconds. Her lips trembling as much as her hands, she stared at the shuddering objects before putting them against her soaked eyes.
I…I'm going…insane, she thought through choked sobs. I'm crazy…I am so…fucked up.…god, what is wrong with me? She parted her fingers to stare at the revolver just mere inches from her leg. Why c-can't I be norm-mal? W-Why am I l-living like th-this? Why am…am I e-even living? She kept a hand over her eyes while other reached out blindly for the gun, sitting patiently on the ground. Why can't I…I j-just end it all? Why can't I m-make life e-easier for everyone? Why…why haven't I e-ended it all? The ch-chains…them…f-freed…they need t-to be…m-me…I…f-from the chains…me…f-freed…th-hey must be…
Holding the grip tightly, she tried to keep it steady as she brought it to her temple. The icy barrel was pressed against her head while her finger awaited on the trigger. I am j-just a coward, b-but I know I'll b-burn in hell…I-I'll be given a g-good p-punishment….
"Eslee!" someone screamed, though she didn't hear it. She didn't even know what was happening round her. I…I wish I could…say good-bye to E-Echo…one last time…th-though I…I'd never want her to see m-me…me again… Footsteps pounded against the pavement, the sound moving toward her as she stared blankly ahead. Why…why am I hesitating…
Because you don't want to die, sneered the voice in her head. Her grip loosened slightly. You're still a coward at heart, that can't change. Bitch; coward; whore; maybe you should go back to just being a part timer.
No, said the woman's voice firmly. Eslee felt as though a weight was being pressed on her shoulders, crushing her ruthlessly while her stomach seemed to flip. You're hesitating because you still love Echo. You love her and your family; you don't want to make them upset. And you know she would be the most; you still love her and you always will.
Make…her…upset…about…me….my death… Eslee pondered for a bit. Her hand began to drop away from her head before a second hand grabbed her wrist and sharply tugged it away. A snarl resonated in her ear, barely pulling her from her delusion.
Surprised, Eslee turned towards her attacker out of instinct while her hand limply dropped the revolver. It clattered to the ground, the noise ringing in through her head and ears as a second hand grabbed it and threw it at the end of the alley, still snarling loudly.
Eslee, murmured the voice in her head. Eslee blinked slowly as the voice in her head became louder. Her ears rang while a something jolted in her head. It coursed through her body and the next thing she heard was Echo screaming, "Eslee!" at her.
Is this a dream now….what's going on… she thought to herself, in a daze. In a moment, she went from looking at a wall into desperate, dark chocolate brown eyes. "Eslee, please, focus!" Echo yelled, putting her hands on Eslee's shoulders and shaking her gently. "Pull yourself together! It's me, Echo."
Echo….why is she here…? wondered Eslee. Her lips were dry and cracked while her parched throat was sore from her cries. "Please, speak to me! God damn it Eslee!" screamed Echo, raising her arm and smacking Eslee harshly in the cheek.
Eslee felt her head forcibly turned, staring at the entrance of the ally, to being back at Echo. Her arid lip parted slowly as she stared at Echo uncertainly. "Echo?" she murmured, still wondering if the voices in her head were speaking. Her cheek stung still while she began to gain her sense back.
"Oh, thank god," muttered Echo, reaching forward and pulling Eslee into a tight embrace. Echo's warm arms began to bring back memories for Eslee as she thought about their time against Vorso, then her troubles with Dimitri and the time in the hospital, thinking how every time, the same familiar embrace was there to comfort her.
"Echo…" Eslee muttered again, her voice thick with sorrow and guilt. Her arms were limp at her sides and she moved to lay her head against Echo's shoulder. She stared at her neck while the scent of her hair filled her. Oh, god, what have I done…? was the only thought that ran through her mind before she completely broke down. She buried herself against her lover while her arms reached up to hold Echo's waist.
Echo sighed, partially relieved she had gotten a real response from her girlfriend and partially because of what had just occurred. Fighting back her own tears, she held Eslee tighter and gently rubbed her back. "What have I done…what have I done…" Eslee murmured over and over.
"Shh…" muttered Echo, still gently caressing her. "It's alright, we'll settle it at home…come on…" She tried to get Eslee to stand, then ended up having to support most of her. She squeezed her hand tightly and occasionally turned to look up at her, then back down quickly after realising her tear-stained face was too much of a sight to bear. The entire trip back, Eslee was completely trembling, still thinking in her head over and over what have I done…what have I done…while gently shaking her head.
Fucked everything up, came the same taunting voice. You really are pathetic. There's no hope for you left. Actually, I take it back; there never was hope for you in the first place. You're a coward and then failed to live to your word. Now you're just an unreliable coward; a bitch. As if you weren't before, of course. Eslee found her grip unconsciously tightening on Echo's shoulder and arm while her heart tightened at the thought.
But she'll still forgive you, came the second though, and Eslee thought she was about to vomit. Just like the time at the hospital, with Dimitri. You know she loves you; she just wants the best for you. Eslee found her knees almost caved in and stumbled a bit. Echo held her up firmly and looked at her.
"Are you alright?" Eslee didn't reply, instead shaking her head and mumbling to herself. Echo sighed while still leading her home. This isn't right…I need to be back there on the ground in the alley…rotting away… She stared at the ground as though it wasn't there, letting Echo blindly move her. My mind is rotting away…there's no hope for me…there never was…I need to tell her….she…leave me here…
Echo felt alerted and her concern rose sharply after hearing Eslee mutter hollowly, "leave me here…leave me here…" continually, seeming to return to her desolate state. Relieved to see the familiar house in the distance, she quickened her pace as much as she could.
She barely noticed the two figure in front of the door until she was almost only a mere feet away Luaith and Kage were standing outside, both a bit stunned at Eslee for a few moments. Kage gave Echo a sympathetic look while Luaith hesitantly moved up to rub Eslee's shoulder. Squeezing it as well, the three felt as though a bit of bile settled into the bottom of their stomachs when she gave no reaction whatsoever.
"Do what you think is best," Luaith told Echo, nodding to her.
"And if you need help or support, don't hesitate to come call us," Kage added, pushing the door back and clearing a path for her. Echo nodded curtly and brought Eslee over to the stairs. Dunes walked over, somber as ever, as he silently helped Echo move her upstairs into the girls' room. Taking one last glance at his friend, he exited and shut the door behind him, hurrying down and pulling Zach aside to have him help calm his nerves.
In their room, Echo moved Eslee to the bed and laid her down.  Where am I….pondered Eslee for a moment. She stared at the other wall while Echo sat at the edge of her bed. Reaching forward, Echo gently brushed her fingers through Eslee's matted hair before settling her palm against her cheek. She sighed while massaging it with her thumb.
….How could I ever face her now…? though Eslee despondently. How could I ever still be alive…? She needs someone better…someone to take care of her…someone who could…sufficiently give her what she needs and wants… Eslee closed her eyes and gripped the bed sheets tightly as Echo continued to gently run her hands over Eslee's body. Anyone better than me… She had moved her hands over to her neck, running her fingertips up and down its side.
Trying to muster up some words to say, Echo stared at her lover, feeling hopeless. Likewise, Eslee stared up at her. Why is this happening…? Why am I like this…? Why…I just wanted my loves' lives to be easier….why can I not help them…?
Nothing you could do could be of any importance to them. The voice of cynical doubt began to almost scream in her mind. "Of any importance...." murmured Eslee aloud, completely unaware. Echo stared at her, slightly confused. Everything you do is insignificant.  "Insignificant…" Eslee's grip on the covers loosened. You are insignificant. You have no purpose. "I…have no…purpose…" It's all over; there's nothing left. "All over…nothing…left…."
In the next instant, Eslee felt another stinging pain to her cheek. Looking up in mild surprise, as though being awakened from a dream, she saw Echo lowering her arm, glaring at her. "Eslee! That's enough! I don't what you're thinking, but you are certainly none of those!" Eslee looked down again, feeling guilt weight down her heart.
"Oh, god…" she murmured, her voice thick with sorrow. "God…Echo…Echo!" she yelled, letting her body go numb. Her body rippled with sobs while tears began to stream down her face again. Her vision was completely unclear. Echo leaned forward, wrapping her arms round Eslee's torso and pulled her up. Pushing her legs from under her, Echo settled Eslee so she was lying on her side. Eslee's head rested in Echo's lap while Echo began to rub Eslee's back.
Gradually, Eslee's sobs quieted into a silence. Gently brushing her hair, Echo stared down silently before swinging her legs up onto the bed and laying back, pulling Eslee with her. Resting her head on the pillow, Echo pulled Eslee close, holding her up against her body, then lowered her hands to her waist, wrapping them round tightly.
Eslee, still in a daze, didn't realise what was happening until she felt Echo's warmth relocated against the front of her body. Laying her head against Echo's neck, she vaguely felt Echo bring her hand decorated with the clotted cuts up towards her eyes, quietly inspecting it, while her other hand was laying on Eslee's cheek, gently wiping away tears with her thumb.
After awhile, Echo gently set Eslee's damaged hand against her chest, then wrapped her arm firmly round Eslee's waist again. Pulling her towards her again, she leaned her cheek against the top of Eslee's head. Her eyelids began to feel heavy and she felt her eyes close slowly. Feeling the exhaustion from the day's event settle in, she finally let herself go, going into a deep slumber.
Eslee, however, felt restless the entire night. Keeping herself pressed again Echo at all times, she slowly regained her bearings. All right…keep calm…think about what happened…Eslee let out a noisy sigh. It suddenly came up…no warning….like the rest… A voice in the back of her head added although, unlike the rest, you now have Echo; your love. Eslee forced herself to keep quiet, suppressing a choked sob. Focus, focus…Sannan came…asked what was wrong….and I sent her away…Eslee shut her eyes quickly, trying to force out the guilt.
Then…she came…she continued, unable to bring herself to even think Echo's name. I…did…left…Eslee couldn't bring herself to think about that part and moved one. Then…I…ran? …I remember….blurred…blurred vision…cars…roads…bricks… She let out another sigh. Then…the alley…and…the….She held back another sob and stopped, unable to bring herself to remember anymore.
Breathing a bit heavily, she closed her eyes and tried to force herself to sleep. Instead, picture of the day's events flashed in front of her eyes with Echo's face, contorted in an expression of pain and betrayal. She sat her bedroom walls, then the door and Sannan standing behind; the image flashed to Echo and seemed to linger on her figure for a while before changing into a brief image of the town. It then turned into the familiar, grimy alley wall. Her mind forced her to stare at the image of the gun before turning into one of her lover's concerned and slightly angry eyes. For a while, all Eslee could see were the eyes, seeming to bore into her soul. Then, almost as quickly as it came, the image disappeared, only to be replaced by Echo's neck.
It took Eslee a few moments to realise she had opened her eyes, staring blankly at Echo's neck and feeling her stomach move up and down rhythmically. She blinked a few times before sighing again. She put her hands in front of her, about to push herself up and away from Echo before an unexplainable sensation coursed though her body, completely halting her.
I need her warmth…was all she could think before quickly letting herself down and instinctively wrapping her arms round her mate. She keeps me sane…I need her…was all she could think. Her eyes slowly lost their distant look and her body began to regain feeling. She swallowed, feeling as though she drove back her guilt and sorrow. Taking another deep breath, she laid against Echo silently for the rest of the night, slowly regaining her sanity.
Sunlight streaming through the window shined on Echo's eyes, gradually waking her up early. Quickly remembering last night, she looked down to see Eslee staring at her neck. "Eslee?" she asked uncertainly.
"I couldn't sleep," was the hoarse reply and Echo felt herself feel the slightest bit calmer after hearing Eslee's familiar voice and tone. She pushed herself up and sat straight, leaning against the wall their bed was pushed against. To her surprise, Eslee pushed herself up and sat next to her, drawing her knees up to her chest.
"What happened?" asked Echo suddenly, putting a hand on Eslee's arm. Eslee looked at her. "You can't honestly say that was all just an act or something."
"Of course not…" was Eslee's soft reply, avoiding her gaze.
"So tell me." Eslee sighed.
"I just…have problems…" she muttered, tightening her grip on her knees. Echo raised her eyebrows.
"Well I don't mean to sound too rude, but that's a bit obvious now." Eslee remained silent. "You have to tell me; at least admit I deserve to know." She nodded silently, continuing to stare down. Echo sighed and forced Eslee to look at her. Stroking her cheek, she stared at her for awhile.
Every time I hear her voice or name, I feel like I'm going to go off the deep end again…she thought bitterly to herself. Sighing, she let her legs slide down and pushed herself forward so her legs were hanging off the edge. Her palms were pressed firmly against the top, her fingers hanging off the edge as she looked everywhere except at her love.
"I guess I always had it as a child," she began quietly. Echo reached next to her to find her hand, squeezing it. "But it never really affected my life…I had no reason to be depressed."
Eslee turned away as Echo reached up to brush a piece of hair behind her ear. "Clinical depression?" she asked, though it sounded more like a statement. Eslee sighed.
"I have episodes, occasionally…like what you just saw…" Echo nodded, her hand dropped onto Eslee's shoulder. She brought it down her arm before taking her hand and squeezing it.
"Since when?" Eslee shrugged.
"It never really shone through… really just kicked in after the first Dimitri incident. I mean…" she added somberly. "At the hotel…" Echo nodded again, turning away to glare at the wall at the sound of his name. "I had episodes like that too, they just…didn't do as much damage, I guess."
"They did," replied Echo, turning back to look at her. "To you." She sighed quietly, squeezing her hand again.
"You know I never really meant that, right…?" asked Eslee quietly, staring at their intertwined hands. "My thinking gets foggy…I…in a way, I don't know what I'm saying…but at the same time, I do…my thinking just seems to take a huge shift…"
"But you said you were doing it for me," said Echo, pushing Eslee's head up with her free hand. She looked at her in the eyes while gently rubbing her cheek. "You said I deserve better, apparently." Eslee nodded.
"I…still believe you do…" she admitted sullenly. "You know…someone not like this…but I just…still want to see you happy…and being with me seems to make you happy, so…I become guilty for that…and then myself worth goes lower in my mind, if possible…like a never-ending cycle…and…I…can't seem to get out it…" She paused and swallowed before continuing. "I…sometimes, I kind of…wish we never met…just for your sake…"
"Stop," Echo snapped, boring her gaze into Eslee's. "I would do anything to be with you, even if you are like this. Don't be guilty; you're just thinking of me, there's nothing wrong with that. Just remember I am happy, with you, even with these…issues surrounding you. I wouldn't change anything about you. And you know, I'm glad I met you; otherwise, I'd still be introverted and unhappy instead of outgoing and always smiling." Eslee stayed silent as she stared into Echo's eyes.
"Anything you have a problem with, I'm going through with you. Don't try to push me away. Please, I just want to be with you. I want to be with the one I love." Eslee stared back, defeated. The two kept their gazes locks before Eslee leaned forward. Echo closed her eyes as Eslee gently rested her forehead against hers.
"I love you," Eslee murmured huskily, her eyes half closed.
"I love you too," Echo whispered back, leaning back with her arms round Eslee's neck. "And you're not alone…even when you think you do you'll always have me." Eslee didn't reply and instead closed her eyes and pressed her lips against Echo's. Her arms moved to her waist as she carefully parted Echo's soft lips with her tongue. Echo invited her eagerly, moving against Eslee's mouth slowly.
Pulling back, though their foreheads were still touching, Echo looked up to see her mate's loving gaze and felt the sides of her mouth twitch upwards. Eslee smiled back and Echo felt a surge of happiness at seeing her girlfriend's true side return. About to lean forward to kiss Echo again, she pushed her down against the bed gently when there was a sharp knocking at the door.
Sighing, Eslee let go of Echo and was about to push herself off the bed when Echo quickly pulled her down and gave her a quick kiss. Eslee sat up and looked at her in surprise, to which Echo responded only by giving her a slightly mischievous look. Before Eslee could comment, Echo called out, "come in."
Quickly, the door almost flew off its hinges when Dunes hurried in. "Eslee!" Suddenly, Eslee felt her stomach flip again.
"Hi Dunes," she muttered, feeling like a child about to be scolded.
"God damn it, why did you never tell me?! Or any of us?!" Echo, taking her cue, suddenly stood and let go of Eslee's hand. Giving her a quick smile, she walked out of the room leaving the two alone. Eslee suddenly felt alone and tried not to cringe under his accusing, but caring, stare.
"I haven't had one in awhile…I almost forgot about it, really…" she admitted quietly. He sighed noisily.
"How long?"
"I suppose it'd be easiest to say since the first incident with Dimitri."
"Uh, the one where I found you?" asked Dunes, confused. Eslee sighed.
"No, the first week with him." Dunes growled at the memory and shook his head.
"Damn, I should have known…don't comment," he quickly added gruffly. She gave a wry smile and said nothing.
"Do you think you'll have more of these?" he asked suddenly.  Eslee dropped her smile and looked up in thought.
"Perhaps…honestly, they just start up randomly…" Dunes growled and began to pace in front of her. She watched him quietly before adding. "Dunes?" He stopped in his tracks and turned to her. "I'm…sorry…I'm so sorry for worrying you all…you and Echo especially." He sighed in agitation.
"There's nothing to be sorry about," he told her, his tone seeming a bit calmer. "Look, you're alive, it's fine. I think Echo gave you the talk, so, uh…" he trailed off, scratching the back of his head. She gave him another smile before standing and giving him a quick hug. He growled in response.
"Thank you, Dunes. You know, you should be like this more, especially with Zach," she teased him lightly, keeping the mood light as well as keeping her thoughts off of darker matters. He stared at her confused and opened his mouth to speak before Zach pushed the door open and held it for Echo, who strode in and hugged Eslee.
"Come on, honey," Zach called cheerily, beckoning him over. Dunes, still confused over what Eslee said, walked over wordlessly. Zach grabbed his hand and pulled him along. "Shut the door behind you," he told Dunes quickly, who did without a sound. Eslee waited until they left before pushing Echo back enough to lean down to kiss her lips again. Echo wrapped her arms round Eslee's neck again
"Echo…?" Eslee mumbled through the kiss.
"Hm?" Echo responded, still not taking her lips off Eslee's.
"Would it be too much," Eslee began, pulling back just for a bit, "to ask you to just hold me on the bed?" Echo smiled and led her over while replying,
"Of course not." Eslee smiled again before laying down. Echo laid against her, returning her arms so they were round her neck again while circling her legs round Eslee's waist. Eslee held her waist and back and pulled her against her, resuming their passionate kissing. Their tongues battled while Echo began to move her fingers up to Eslee's hair.
Eslee ran her fingertips up and down Echo's back, eliciting a soft rumbling from her chest. Pulling back momentarily, Eslee giggled and she and Echo both felt an outpouring of happiness rush between them. Echo felt relieved at Eslee's returning happiness while Eslee felt as thought the event was behind them. The two smiled at each other before Eslee moved forward to put her head against Echo's neck, as she was before.
"I love you…" she murmured quietly, her lips pressed against her mate's collarbone. Echo shuddered slightly.
"I love you too," she replied simply, running her hands up and down Eslee's side. Eslee smiled again against Echo's collarbone. I feel so invincible…like I'm in heaven…I feel I could do anything with her with me…
Reaching blindly, Eslee found Echo's hand and squeezed it tightly, feeling her eyelids slide down. "Get some sleep," Echo murmured, though Eslee didn't need to be told twice.
"Stay with me…" she whispered, feeling as though the day completely crashed on her. Fighting to stay awake just to hear Echo's voice a bit more, her eyelids continued to flutter.
"Of course," was Echo's reply, running her fingers though Eslee's hair. "Good night." Eslee opened her mouth, then closed it, losing the energy to talk. Echo…was Eslee's last thought before drifting off to sleep, letting dreams of her love carry her through her slumber.

Description
I'm worth nothing, though Eslee yet another time as she near frantically paced her room. Her left arm was across her empty stomach while her right was sitting on top of it, upright. Her hand was covering most of her face, which had a distraught expression. Her breaths were short and frenzied while her eyes became unfocused. God, why? Why am I still here? I'm just a whore, there's nothing good about me.
She reached her hand up and covered her eyes while stopping, then turning to sit on her bed. Damn it….why…? Why am I still alive from that time in the alley…? He should have killed me. I can't still be alive. She looked up through blurry vision as a knock on her bedroom door sounded. Blinking and wiping her eyes quickly, she tried to compose herself as much as possible externally while crossing the room to answer.
Breathing noisily out her mouth, she put a shaky hand on the doorknob and took a moment before turning it. Pulling the door back slightly, enough to see who stood at the entrance, she was surprised to see the Omega looking back serenely.
"Hello Eslee," Sannan greeted her. Eslee nodded in return. "Are you feeling all right? You didn't come down from your room at all this morning. Your pack is especially worried about you." Sannan's voice was laced with concern while Eslee tried to suppress the panic rising.
"Of course," she replied, while thinking, they can't know…no, I'm not dragging my friends into this…they don't need to be bothered by me…
"Are you sure? I'm not even in your pack and I'm getting some negative emotions from you," replied she. Then, cocking her head, she proceeded to ask, "You look fatigued too…have you not been getting sleep?"
"I'm fine, honest," said Eslee curtly, then nearly swore aloud in anger at herself. Shit, get a hold of yourself! You have to stay calm or she'll never believe you….who am I kidding, she probably doesn't believe you anyway… Sannan blinked a few times in confusion, before uttering,
"Well, okay…but if you need anything, don't hesitate about coming to us…" Eslee nodded curtly before slowly closing the door. Standing there poised with her hand still on the doorknob, she barely breathed until she heard Sannan's footsteps gradually fade away into silence.  Releasing her unnoticed death grip from the knob, she slowly backed up until she reached her wardrobe.
Letting out a shaky breath, she put her hands on the top of it, steadying herself. Her legs were shaking as her breath became uneven. I need to get away from here….I'll just hurt the rest of the pack… However, before she could move, the doorknob turned as Echo walked in casually, pausing and staring at Eslee with a confused look.
"Eslee?" Eslee didn't reply as she instead turned to look at the bed, then slowly pushed herself from the wardrobe and walked over to it. Her steps were rough as she almost swayed before putting her hands on the top of the mattress. Taking another deep breath, she turned and sat on it, bringing her feet to the bed's frame and holding her head up with one hand.
"Eslee?" Echo repeated, closing the door and walking over to her. She knelt in front of her and reached forward, cupping Eslee's chin with her hand.  She gently pushed her head up, willing Eslee to look into Echo's concerned eyes. Echo immediately felt a surge of anxiety after seeing her lover's disheveled expression. "What's wrong?"
"Echo," began Eslee, more unsteady than she would have liked. Her heart was racing while mind ran thoughts that made it seem as though there was only one option. "Y-you…and me…" Eslee stuttered. Echo stared at her for a bit before putting a hand on the spot on the mattress next to her and pushing herself up on top of it, then turning to sit next to Eslee. Eslee jumped when Echo gently put her hand on Eslee's and squeezed it.
Quickly, Eslee pulled her shaking hand away while Echo stared at her with a slightly shocked and partially hurt expression.  "Eslee?" she asked again, a little more urgent. "What's wrong?" In a few, quick, erratic and almost robotic movements, Eslee put her hands on Echo's shoulders and looked her in the eyes. Echo stared at her stunned, as Eslee sputtered out,
"Me and you…we…it…we can't be together. It's….not working out…but….I…we can't be mates," she finally concluded, feeling completely sick to her stomach. Her heart clenched and twisted in her chest as she watched Echo's expression turn completely horrified, then into a wretched look of pure pain.
"It's….not working out? What do you mean? Tell me, what's wrong?" Eslee tightened her grip on her shoulders while avoiding her gaze.
"It's for your own good," she replied, her voice trembling with every word.  "You…deserve…no, need someone better." Echo stared at her before opening her mouth to reply when Eslee cut her off. "You have to understand. Just….please…you deserve the best…" Then, without waiting for a reply, she let go of Echo's shoulders and stood suddenly, then yanked open the door harshly.
Rushing out into the hallway, then downstairs, Eslee felt as though her senses turned numb. She couldn't hear her pack calling for her, nor could she barely see where she was going. Her body acted on its own while her mind was lost in the thought of seeing Echo's betrayed face.
Slamming the door behind her, she sprinted into town, not pausing until she reached the far side. Stopping and catching her breath, she stared at the drenched ground; tears were flowing freely, soaking her cheeks as well. Standing straight and moving to the side, she found the wall of an alleyway and leaned against it, slowly sliding to the ground.
No…no, what have I done...? How could I be so stupid…? I can't get her face out of my head…that expression…those lost eyes…. She tried, in vain, to wipe her own reddening eyes, smearing the liquid over her face and hands. Only an idiot would make a mistake like that…no, that's not strong enough…I can't describe myself right now….I… too…pathetic…need a release….no, no, I have to suffer this pain myself….she'll haunt me forever, but there should be more…there will be more…
Removing her hands from her eyes, she turned her head to look down the alley, trying to search for anything to cure her taste for pain. I need to burn…I need to burn in hell, yes….god, I'm so stupid, why am I still alive?! She tried standing and failed, not being able to push herself up. She sat against the wall, defeated and drained of any motivation. Her eyes turned blank as she rested her cheek against the wall, losing track of the world round her. Cars seemed to slow as people's voice seemed to run into each other, making a peculiar sound she was deaf to.
There's no point in life…no, just my life…no point… She gently put a hand against the ground next to her, barely supporting her limp body as she stared ahead. Surveying the area slowly, among wreckage against the wall in front of her, she spotted a shine of metal unseen to her before. She blinked a few times before pushing herself forward from the wall. Half crawling forward, she stopped in front of the small pile of random scraps before reaching in and searching for the metal bit. Scarcely realising, or caring, her hand scraping itself against the sharp objects, she finally wrapped her hand round a cold, metal grip and pulled back her bloodied hand.
In her hand was a shiny, black revolver. She looked at blankly while her arms began to check if there was ammo. Without realising, she had removed the magazine, a small part of her managed to register there were at least two bullets left and her body mechanically reloaded the gun. Isn't this perfect…almost too perfect…like it really was my fate… she mused silent, turning it in her hands a few times. They all need to be free from me…their burden…yes…simple, really….easy….when the job's done…
Please, snapped a different, cold voice in her head, sounding like her own with a harsh, previously unheard of resentment behind it. A gunshot? To the head? Simple, like you said, but too simple, you idiot; you really think that's all there is to it? You hurt your love and you family and now you just expect a painless bullet to the brain?! You should be disgusted at yourself.
She felt herself lose her grip on reality while her body seemed to almost begin to collapse on itself as she found herself replying, I'm worthless, though…it's just like taking out the trash…
Please, you're not trash; you're worse than that. You're just nothing. Understand? Absolutely nothing. You shouldn't have lived through that week with you-know-who. Hell, you shouldn't have been born. Eslee's body began to quiver violently. Now put the gun down and just let yourself suffer in silence while realising what a coward and a bitch you are, you worthless piece of shit. Lie down in the ground and just let yourself rot. Eslee blinked a few times, trying to register what had happened when another voice sounded.
Eslee, it called smoothly, and she vaguely thought it sounded similar to Echo's. You're not nothing. What would your family think if they saw you like this? What would Echo think? At the sound of her name, Eslee flinched and cringed, tightening her grip on the suicide weapon laying in her lap.
They would realise what a worthless bitch I am… she replied, her words seeming to shudder while she wondered why she was bothering.  I don't deserve an amazing woman like Echo….she needs someone who…isn't like this…someone…who can do much more for her… She trailed off slowly, staring at the wall in front of her while her thoughts seemed to turn to Echo alone. She's the only one…needs the best…I'd do anything…to give her that…the best…
Get a hold of yourself! the voice commanded sharply, almost snapping Eslee from her cloudy hallucination. What are you thinking?! Suicide?! You know she'd be in so much pain if you did. You know they all would! And you say you want the best for her! Is her more depressed than you the best?! If she knew what was happening right now, you know she'd kill herself just to save you from this nightmare. Do her justice and learn what really makes her happy! Completely quivering, Eslee let the gun slide off her lap and fall to the ground as she was pushed over the edge. Barely able to bring her hands up to eye level, she managed to hold them there for a few seconds. Her lips trembling as much as her hands, she stared at the shuddering objects before putting them against her soaked eyes.
I…I'm going…insane, she thought through choked sobs. I'm crazy…I am so…fucked up.…god, what is wrong with me? She parted her fingers to stare at the revolver just mere inches from her leg. Why c-can't I be norm-mal? W-Why am I l-living like th-this? Why am…am I e-even living? She kept a hand over her eyes while other reached out blindly for the gun, sitting patiently on the ground. Why can't I…I j-just end it all? Why can't I m-make life e-easier for everyone? Why…why haven't I e-ended it all? The ch-chains…them…f-freed…they need t-to be…m-me…I…f-from the chains…me…f-freed…th-hey must be…
Holding the grip tightly, she tried to keep it steady as she brought it to her temple. The icy barrel was pressed against her head while her finger awaited on the trigger. I am j-just a coward, b-but I know I'll b-burn in hell…I-I'll be given a g-good p-punishment….
"Eslee!" someone screamed, though she didn't hear it. She didn't even know what was happening round her. I…I wish I could…say good-bye to E-Echo…one last time…th-though I…I'd never want her to see m-me…me again… Footsteps pounded against the pavement, the sound moving toward her as she stared blankly ahead. Why…why am I hesitating…
Because you don't want to die, sneered the voice in her head. Her grip loosened slightly. You're still a coward at heart, that can't change. Bitch; coward; whore; maybe you should go back to just being a part timer.
No, said the woman's voice firmly. Eslee felt as though a weight was being pressed on her shoulders, crushing her ruthlessly while her stomach seemed to flip. You're hesitating because you still love Echo. You love her and your family; you don't want to make them upset. And you know she would be the most; you still love her and you always will.
Make…her…upset…about…me….my death… Eslee pondered for a bit. Her hand began to drop away from her head before a second hand grabbed her wrist and sharply tugged it away. A snarl resonated in her ear, barely pulling her from her delusion.
Surprised, Eslee turned towards her attacker out of instinct while her hand limply dropped the revolver. It clattered to the ground, the noise ringing in through her head and ears as a second hand grabbed it and threw it at the end of the alley, still snarling loudly.
Eslee, murmured the voice in her head. Eslee blinked slowly as the voice in her head became louder. Her ears rang while a something jolted in her head. It coursed through her body and the next thing she heard was Echo screaming, "Eslee!" at her.
Is this a dream now….what's going on… she thought to herself, in a daze. In a moment, she went from looking at a wall into desperate, dark chocolate brown eyes. "Eslee, please, focus!" Echo yelled, putting her hands on Eslee's shoulders and shaking her gently. "Pull yourself together! It's me, Echo."
Echo….why is she here…? wondered Eslee. Her lips were dry and cracked while her parched throat was sore from her cries. "Please, speak to me! God damn it Eslee!" screamed Echo, raising her arm and smacking Eslee harshly in the cheek.
Eslee felt her head forcibly turned, staring at the entrance of the ally, to being back at Echo. Her arid lip parted slowly as she stared at Echo uncertainly. "Echo?" she murmured, still wondering if the voices in her head were speaking. Her cheek stung still while she began to gain her sense back.
"Oh, thank god," muttered Echo, reaching forward and pulling Eslee into a tight embrace. Echo's warm arms began to bring back memories for Eslee as she thought about their time against Vorso, then her troubles with Dimitri and the time in the hospital, thinking how every time, the same familiar embrace was there to comfort her.
"Echo…" Eslee muttered again, her voice thick with sorrow and guilt. Her arms were limp at her sides and she moved to lay her head against Echo's shoulder. She stared at her neck while the scent of her hair filled her. Oh, god, what have I done…? was the only thought that ran through her mind before she completely broke down. She buried herself against her lover while her arms reached up to hold Echo's waist.
Echo sighed, partially relieved she had gotten a real response from her girlfriend and partially because of what had just occurred. Fighting back her own tears, she held Eslee tighter and gently rubbed her back. "What have I done…what have I done…" Eslee murmured over and over.
"Shh…" muttered Echo, still gently caressing her. "It's alright, we'll settle it at home…come on…" She tried to get Eslee to stand, then ended up having to support most of her. She squeezed her hand tightly and occasionally turned to look up at her, then back down quickly after realising her tear-stained face was too much of a sight to bear. The entire trip back, Eslee was completely trembling, still thinking in her head over and over what have I done…what have I done…while gently shaking her head.
Fucked everything up, came the same taunting voice. You really are pathetic. There's no hope for you left. Actually, I take it back; there never was hope for you in the first place. You're a coward and then failed to live to your word. Now you're just an unreliable coward; a bitch. As if you weren't before, of course. Eslee found her grip unconsciously tightening on Echo's shoulder and arm while her heart tightened at the thought.
But she'll still forgive you, came the second though, and Eslee thought she was about to vomit. Just like the time at the hospital, with Dimitri. You know she loves you; she just wants the best for you. Eslee found her knees almost caved in and stumbled a bit. Echo held her up firmly and looked at her.
"Are you alright?" Eslee didn't reply, instead shaking her head and mumbling to herself. Echo sighed while still leading her home. This isn't right…I need to be back there on the ground in the alley…rotting away… She stared at the ground as though it wasn't there, letting Echo blindly move her. My mind is rotting away…there's no hope for me…there never was…I need to tell her….she…leave me here…
Echo felt alerted and her concern rose sharply after hearing Eslee mutter hollowly, "leave me here…leave me here…" continually, seeming to return to her desolate state. Relieved to see the familiar house in the distance, she quickened her pace as much as she could.
She barely noticed the two figure in front of the door until she was almost only a mere feet away Luaith and Kage were standing outside, both a bit stunned at Eslee for a few moments. Kage gave Echo a sympathetic look while Luaith hesitantly moved up to rub Eslee's shoulder. Squeezing it as well, the three felt as though a bit of bile settled into the bottom of their stomachs when she gave no reaction whatsoever.
"Do what you think is best," Luaith told Echo, nodding to her.
"And if you need help or support, don't hesitate to come call us," Kage added, pushing the door back and clearing a path for her. Echo nodded curtly and brought Eslee over to the stairs. Dunes walked over, somber as ever, as he silently helped Echo move her upstairs into the girls' room. Taking one last glance at his friend, he exited and shut the door behind him, hurrying down and pulling Zach aside to have him help calm his nerves.
In their room, Echo moved Eslee to the bed and laid her down.  Where am I….pondered Eslee for a moment. She stared at the other wall while Echo sat at the edge of her bed. Reaching forward, Echo gently brushed her fingers through Eslee's matted hair before settling her palm against her cheek. She sighed while massaging it with her thumb.
….How could I ever face her now…? though Eslee despondently. How could I ever still be alive…? She needs someone better…someone to take care of her…someone who could…sufficiently give her what she needs and wants… Eslee closed her eyes and gripped the bed sheets tightly as Echo continued to gently run her hands over Eslee's body. Anyone better than me… She had moved her hands over to her neck, running her fingertips up and down its side.
Trying to muster up some words to say, Echo stared at her lover, feeling hopeless. Likewise, Eslee stared up at her. Why is this happening…? Why am I like this…? Why…I just wanted my loves' lives to be easier….why can I not help them…?
Nothing you could do could be of any importance to them. The voice of cynical doubt began to almost scream in her mind. "Of any importance...." murmured Eslee aloud, completely unaware. Echo stared at her, slightly confused. Everything you do is insignificant.  "Insignificant…" Eslee's grip on the covers loosened. You are insignificant. You have no purpose. "I…have no…purpose…" It's all over; there's nothing left. "All over…nothing…left…."
In the next instant, Eslee felt another stinging pain to her cheek. Looking up in mild surprise, as though being awakened from a dream, she saw Echo lowering her arm, glaring at her. "Eslee! That's enough! I don't what you're thinking, but you are certainly none of those!" Eslee looked down again, feeling guilt weight down her heart.
"Oh, god…" she murmured, her voice thick with sorrow. "God…Echo…Echo!" she yelled, letting her body go numb. Her body rippled with sobs while tears began to stream down her face again. Her vision was completely unclear. Echo leaned forward, wrapping her arms round Eslee's torso and pulled her up. Pushing her legs from under her, Echo settled Eslee so she was lying on her side. Eslee's head rested in Echo's lap while Echo began to rub Eslee's back.
Gradually, Eslee's sobs quieted into a silence. Gently brushing her hair, Echo stared down silently before swinging her legs up onto the bed and laying back, pulling Eslee with her. Resting her head on the pillow, Echo pulled Eslee close, holding her up against her body, then lowered her hands to her waist, wrapping them round tightly.
Eslee, still in a daze, didn't realise what was happening until she felt Echo's warmth relocated against the front of her body. Laying her head against Echo's neck, she vaguely felt Echo bring her hand decorated with the clotted cuts up towards her eyes, quietly inspecting it, while her other hand was laying on Eslee's cheek, gently wiping away tears with her thumb.
After awhile, Echo gently set Eslee's damaged hand against her chest, then wrapped her arm firmly round Eslee's waist again. Pulling her towards her again, she leaned her cheek against the top of Eslee's head. Her eyelids began to feel heavy and she felt her eyes close slowly. Feeling the exhaustion from the day's event settle in, she finally let herself go, going into a deep slumber.
Eslee, however, felt restless the entire night. Keeping herself pressed again Echo at all times, she slowly regained her bearings. All right…keep calm…think about what happened…Eslee let out a noisy sigh. It suddenly came up…no warning….like the rest… A voice in the back of her head added although, unlike the rest, you now have Echo; your love. Eslee forced herself to keep quiet, suppressing a choked sob. Focus, focus…Sannan came…asked what was wrong….and I sent her away…Eslee shut her eyes quickly, trying to force out the guilt.
Then…she came…she continued, unable to bring herself to even think Echo's name. I…did…left…Eslee couldn't bring herself to think about that part and moved one. Then…I…ran? …I remember….blurred…blurred vision…cars…roads…bricks… She let out another sigh. Then…the alley…and…the….She held back another sob and stopped, unable to bring herself to remember anymore.
Breathing a bit heavily, she closed her eyes and tried to force herself to sleep. Instead, picture of the day's events flashed in front of her eyes with Echo's face, contorted in an expression of pain and betrayal. She sat her bedroom walls, then the door and Sannan standing behind; the image flashed to Echo and seemed to linger on her figure for a while before changing into a brief image of the town. It then turned into the familiar, grimy alley wall. Her mind forced her to stare at the image of the gun before turning into one of her lover's concerned and slightly angry eyes. For a while, all Eslee could see were the eyes, seeming to bore into her soul. Then, almost as quickly as it came, the image disappeared, only to be replaced by Echo's neck.
It took Eslee a few moments to realise she had opened her eyes, staring blankly at Echo's neck and feeling her stomach move up and down rhythmically. She blinked a few times before sighing again. She put her hands in front of her, about to push herself up and away from Echo before an unexplainable sensation coursed though her body, completely halting her.
I need her warmth…was all she could think before quickly letting herself down and instinctively wrapping her arms round her mate. She keeps me sane…I need her…was all she could think. Her eyes slowly lost their distant look and her body began to regain feeling. She swallowed, feeling as though she drove back her guilt and sorrow. Taking another deep breath, she laid against Echo silently for the rest of the night, slowly regaining her sanity.
Sunlight streaming through the window shined on Echo's eyes, gradually waking her up early. Quickly remembering last night, she looked down to see Eslee staring at her neck. "Eslee?" she asked uncertainly.
"I couldn't sleep," was the hoarse reply and Echo felt herself feel the slightest bit calmer after hearing Eslee's familiar voice and tone. She pushed herself up and sat straight, leaning against the wall their bed was pushed against. To her surprise, Eslee pushed herself up and sat next to her, drawing her knees up to her chest.
"What happened?" asked Echo suddenly, putting a hand on Eslee's arm. Eslee looked at her. "You can't honestly say that was all just an act or something."
"Of course not…" was Eslee's soft reply, avoiding her gaze.
"So tell me." Eslee sighed.
"I just…have problems…" she muttered, tightening her grip on her knees. Echo raised her eyebrows.
"Well I don't mean to sound too rude, but that's a bit obvious now." Eslee remained silent. "You have to tell me; at least admit I deserve to know." She nodded silently, continuing to stare down. Echo sighed and forced Eslee to look at her. Stroking her cheek, she stared at her for awhile.
Every time I hear her voice or name, I feel like I'm going to go off the deep end again…she thought bitterly to herself. Sighing, she let her legs slide down and pushed herself forward so her legs were hanging off the edge. Her palms were pressed firmly against the top, her fingers hanging off the edge as she looked everywhere except at her love.
"I guess I always had it as a child," she began quietly. Echo reached next to her to find her hand, squeezing it. "But it never really affected my life…I had no reason to be depressed."
Eslee turned away as Echo reached up to brush a piece of hair behind her ear. "Clinical depression?" she asked, though it sounded more like a statement. Eslee sighed.
"I have episodes, occasionally…like what you just saw…" Echo nodded, her hand dropped onto Eslee's shoulder. She brought it down her arm before taking her hand and squeezing it.
"Since when?" Eslee shrugged.
"It never really shone through… really just kicked in after the first Dimitri incident. I mean…" she added somberly. "At the hotel…" Echo nodded again, turning away to glare at the wall at the sound of his name. "I had episodes like that too, they just…didn't do as much damage, I guess."
"They did," replied Echo, turning back to look at her. "To you." She sighed quietly, squeezing her hand again.
"You know I never really meant that, right…?" asked Eslee quietly, staring at their intertwined hands. "My thinking gets foggy…I…in a way, I don't know what I'm saying…but at the same time, I do…my thinking just seems to take a huge shift…"
"But you said you were doing it for me," said Echo, pushing Eslee's head up with her free hand. She looked at her in the eyes while gently rubbing her cheek. "You said I deserve better, apparently." Eslee nodded.
"I…still believe you do…" she admitted sullenly. "You know…someone not like this…but I just…still want to see you happy…and being with me seems to make you happy, so…I become guilty for that…and then myself worth goes lower in my mind, if possible…like a never-ending cycle…and…I…can't seem to get out it…" She paused and swallowed before continuing. "I…sometimes, I kind of…wish we never met…just for your sake…"
"Stop," Echo snapped, boring her gaze into Eslee's. "I would do anything to be with you, even if you are like this. Don't be guilty; you're just thinking of me, there's nothing wrong with that. Just remember I am happy, with you, even with these…issues surrounding you. I wouldn't change anything about you. And you know, I'm glad I met you; otherwise, I'd still be introverted and unhappy instead of outgoing and always smiling." Eslee stayed silent as she stared into Echo's eyes.
"Anything you have a problem with, I'm going through with you. Don't try to push me away. Please, I just want to be with you. I want to be with the one I love." Eslee stared back, defeated. The two kept their gazes locks before Eslee leaned forward. Echo closed her eyes as Eslee gently rested her forehead against hers.
"I love you," Eslee murmured huskily, her eyes half closed.
"I love you too," Echo whispered back, leaning back with her arms round Eslee's neck. "And you're not alone…even when you think you do you'll always have me." Eslee didn't reply and instead closed her eyes and pressed her lips against Echo's. Her arms moved to her waist as she carefully parted Echo's soft lips with her tongue. Echo invited her eagerly, moving against Eslee's mouth slowly.
Pulling back, though their foreheads were still touching, Echo looked up to see her mate's loving gaze and felt the sides of her mouth twitch upwards. Eslee smiled back and Echo felt a surge of happiness at seeing her girlfriend's true side return. About to lean forward to kiss Echo again, she pushed her down against the bed gently when there was a sharp knocking at the door.
Sighing, Eslee let go of Echo and was about to push herself off the bed when Echo quickly pulled her down and gave her a quick kiss. Eslee sat up and looked at her in surprise, to which Echo responded only by giving her a slightly mischievous look. Before Eslee could comment, Echo called out, "come in."
Quickly, the door almost flew off its hinges when Dunes hurried in. "Eslee!" Suddenly, Eslee felt her stomach flip again.
"Hi Dunes," she muttered, feeling like a child about to be scolded.
"God damn it, why did you never tell me?! Or any of us?!" Echo, taking her cue, suddenly stood and let go of Eslee's hand. Giving her a quick smile, she walked out of the room leaving the two alone. Eslee suddenly felt alone and tried not to cringe under his accusing, but caring, stare.
"I haven't had one in awhile…I almost forgot about it, really…" she admitted quietly. He sighed noisily.
"How long?"
"I suppose it'd be easiest to say since the first incident with Dimitri."
"Uh, the one where I found you?" asked Dunes, confused. Eslee sighed.
"No, the first week with him." Dunes growled at the memory and shook his head.
"Damn, I should have known…don't comment," he quickly added gruffly. She gave a wry smile and said nothing.
"Do you think you'll have more of these?" he asked suddenly.  Eslee dropped her smile and looked up in thought.
"Perhaps…honestly, they just start up randomly…" Dunes growled and began to pace in front of her. She watched him quietly before adding. "Dunes?" He stopped in his tracks and turned to her. "I'm…sorry…I'm so sorry for worrying you all…you and Echo especially." He sighed in agitation.
"There's nothing to be sorry about," he told her, his tone seeming a bit calmer. "Look, you're alive, it's fine. I think Echo gave you the talk, so, uh…" he trailed off, scratching the back of his head. She gave him another smile before standing and giving him a quick hug. He growled in response.
"Thank you, Dunes. You know, you should be like this more, especially with Zach," she teased him lightly, keeping the mood light as well as keeping her thoughts off of darker matters. He stared at her confused and opened his mouth to speak before Zach pushed the door open and held it for Echo, who strode in and hugged Eslee.
"Come on, honey," Zach called cheerily, beckoning him over. Dunes, still confused over what Eslee said, walked over wordlessly. Zach grabbed his hand and pulled him along. "Shut the door behind you," he told Dunes quickly, who did without a sound. Eslee waited until they left before pushing Echo back enough to lean down to kiss her lips again. Echo wrapped her arms round Eslee's neck again
"Echo…?" Eslee mumbled through the kiss.
"Hm?" Echo responded, still not taking her lips off Eslee's.
"Would it be too much," Eslee began, pulling back just for a bit, "to ask you to just hold me on the bed?" Echo smiled and led her over while replying,
"Of course not." Eslee smiled again before laying down. Echo laid against her, returning her arms so they were round her neck again while circling her legs round Eslee's waist. Eslee held her waist and back and pulled her against her, resuming their passionate kissing. Their tongues battled while Echo began to move her fingers up to Eslee's hair.
Eslee ran her fingertips up and down Echo's back, eliciting a soft rumbling from her chest. Pulling back momentarily, Eslee giggled and she and Echo both felt an outpouring of happiness rush between them. Echo felt relieved at Eslee's returning happiness while Eslee felt as thought the event was behind them. The two smiled at each other before Eslee moved forward to put her head against Echo's neck, as she was before.
"I love you…" she murmured quietly, her lips pressed against her mate's collarbone. Echo shuddered slightly.
"I love you too," she replied simply, running her hands up and down Eslee's side. Eslee smiled again against Echo's collarbone. I feel so invincible…like I'm in heaven…I feel I could do anything with her with me…
Reaching blindly, Eslee found Echo's hand and squeezed it tightly, feeling her eyelids slide down. "Get some sleep," Echo murmured, though Eslee didn't need to be told twice.
"Stay with me…" she whispered, feeling as though the day completely crashed on her. Fighting to stay awake just to hear Echo's voice a bit more, her eyelids continued to flutter.
"Of course," was Echo's reply, running her fingers though Eslee's hair. "Good night." Eslee opened her mouth, then closed it, losing the energy to talk. Echo…was Eslee's last thought before drifting off to sleep, letting dreams of her love carry her through her slumber.