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WordOfChen — The Avatar State
Published: 2012-06-19 14:30:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 24906; Favourites: 1430; Downloads: 132
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Description
The Avatar State:Just as there are four elements
Existing in harmony with one another
So too are there four states of poetry:
[Air:]
Air is the element of freedom
Exemplified by the use of free verse
It has no structure and no true shape
But allows us creative control
Through the use of air as a poetic medium
We allow our emotions a freedom to be
We allow them to soar upon worded wings
Gliding freely through the skies of literature
[Water:]
Water is the element of the changing flow
It can be hard as ice or as soft as snow.
Its nature resembles the power of rhyme
Which grants us order and a structured mind
By pushing and pulling the words we may-
create a picture of what we wish to say
Painted upon a canvas of emotional lines
We create a sculpture of structured rhymes
[Earth:]
Earth is uncomprising
Craggy on the whole, it resembles the concrete
Poetic soul
Like the craggy mountains with peaks and valleys
It can take us down
A creative alley. For rock resembles-
A stoic man, unmoving by nature
he is destiny's hand. He holds to his beliefs
Indifferent to emotion, for he is the land
Surrounded by an ocean.
[Fire:]
Fire is the last of the four elements
But it is the most difficult of all to portray
For in order to display it I must write in song
And that cannot be done today...
[Avatar:]
And so I leave you now, with the knowledge of four
But I hope you've enjoyed the taste of this lore
I hope to display in these coming weeks
That I've learnt and mastered all and each.
"For I am Avatar Chen, the last Word-Bender"
-Chen Yuan Wen, 19th June 2012
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Comments: 317
Hey theeeere, I'm back after a long, long time and reading e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="
"as a poetic medium" the medium bothers me a little around here, this doesn't fit in the sound of the rest... No ideas for alternatives from my side, though...
I like the air part, as it really captures the (possible, though not required) lightness of free verse. Just one little doubt as another addition: I wouldn't connect the word 'control' with the element of air, it seems more like a contrast to me...
"It can be hard as ice or as soft as snow." I loooooove this line, it really depicts just what you said.
It's a pity, though, that you don't create a constant rhythm throughout the entire Water part - and "rhyme-mind" or "lines-rhymes"? Come on, you can do better than that.
I like how you use some discreet rhymes in the earth part, but without finishing the lines with them - until now, my favourite part e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="
I like the twist with the fire, though I wouldn't agree that it has to be written in song e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="
Fire comes by the choice of words,
Thrilling pull towards picturesque flames[...]
(Alright, not ideal, but I believe you understand my opinion e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w… " width="15" height="15" alt="
I love the essnce of that and the basic outline, very original, like most of your texts are e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="
However, I believe you still need to work on a certain amount of accuracy (I hope this is the right word, though I'm not sure... Still fighting with the English technical terms. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="
Looking forward to more!
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I think this is a brilliant idea, especially now that Avatar is coming back. The first stanza sounded straight out of the intro to Avatar. "Earth, Water, Fire, Air. Long ago the four nations lived together in peace and harmony..." In each stanza you gave a specific style to each element and I think that they all made perfect sense. The first stanza, air, freedom, was amazing. It was fitting on three levels. comparing Air to freedom, freedom to the free verse style, then writing in that style to describe it! You used plenty of metaphors and imagery in EVERY stanza and might I say, "You used it well." In your second stanza, it had a great flow. This is the style I tend to prefer, as it has a form that is quite loose. The stanza about earth WAS, in fact, very ridged. It didn't flow at all, but I assume that's what you were going for. The final stanza should have been longer. I think you SHOULD have written even something short in a musical style. I do hope that I see you continue to demonstrate your mastery of all elements, Chen, because I love your work.
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I really like the idea. This is a very original piece of work, I don't think I've ever seen something quite like this. Your best descriptions were on Air and Water. They were very fluent and it should be, for so is the elements themselves. You tried to use concrete-style of rhyming with the Earth element, and you might have failed at it a little bit. The style you used at that point seemed a bit too abrupt and stressed, but the picture remained; wich is good. Now, here is where the cookie crumbled. I did not like how you portrayed the fire element. Rather; I did not like how you didn't portray the fire element. This is really the most anticipated element if one is going to describe them. You could have wrote about the passion of fire, or it's destructive capabilities. Considering how well you did with the first two elements, I would have loved to see how well you described fire. All in all, I enjoyed the poem. You ended it well and the last line was catchy. Good job.
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Fire element will be portrayed separately as a bonus release. I felt it wouldn't be justified to just do it in this piece and leave it half done. Fire is the element I love the most too ^^
-Captain chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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That's good then. I really like your writing, and I would love to read what you'd have to write about the fire element.
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I thought it was alright, but it might be better to display excerpts as deviations. Unless of course the book is already published in which case I am not certain I am the right author to ask about that since I am not yet published (commercially, I have been published in books for charity)
-Captain chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Well, it is an excerpt from a book that I'm writing at the moment. I just wanted some criticism on it.
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In that case I highly recommend joining writing groups and submitting as a deviation with critique enabled.
That way, you will get the kind of exposure you need and want to see :3
If you submit as a proper deviation, I will be more than happy to post a review then ^^
-Captain chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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^^ Thanks for the recomendation.
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don't join just one, I recommend about 10 - 20 (that's a good beginners base), make sure to find out who's big in the group and ask politely if they have time to critique. , , these are just some of the basic ones but they rock ^^
-Captain chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Excellent job! I loved your comparison between Avatar and poetry, (happens to be my two favorite things.) I think you portrayed Water and Air the best. Your description was beautiful. I was a bit confused because you started out not rhyming...but end up rhyming. The rhyme seemed to be strained at times. I was also suprised you were very brief when writing about fire. You could have somehow talked about fire and how it is the element of power, breath, and requires percision, and a careful and controlled mind in order to truly master it. You could have also talked about dragoms ("the dancing dragons!) e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w… " width="15" height="15" alt="
Overall, you did an excellent job and the idea is very original and unique.
oh, one last thing. It would be cool if you wrote it in each style you discussed. So the stanza for air could be in free verse, the stanza for water in rhyme etc.
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Poetry is one of the oldest forms of literature, and that being said it has been written a lot, and hard to make something original. Yet WordOfChen has done just that, by making poetry about poetry. His vision is excellent, it forms crisp images in my mind. Such as words twisting threw clouds with freedom of speech, or forming a wall with a solid idea. His technique threw me off guard with some verses rhyming and others not; only until I realized it added depth in describing the elements of poetry.
Reading this piece gave such an impact as if it jarred a piece lose that was holding the gears in my brain together and let them glide free. I'm glad I decided to read this!
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Woah, that was so amazing and quite spiritual. U r very talented in writing poems and I like he own title for urself, creative.
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Glad to know it was ^^
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Anmie fan dude
anything thats anime is the BEST
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Amazing poem, I went head of heels for the series and you've displayed it beautifully. I was just wondering if you could take a look at my story. It would mean a great deal.
[link]
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I skimmed it and it seemed like a pretty solid story ^^
Thanks for enjoying my work friend :3
-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Your welcome and thanks for taking a look.
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No problem friend ^^
-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates
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...I must train my word-bending skills. Teach me, oh master. *bows*
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This is awesome
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Awesome you get many pieces of poetry about avatar
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that is so cool!
i absolutly love it!
you rule avatar chen
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If you wouldn't mind a little Food For Thought ^^ [link]
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I enjoy the ofspin offspring from Avatar. The 'elements' are aptly explained and your unfailing rhyme scheme completes this great work. I dont know how to fave so i just save the web pages and follow up on the artists i like. I usually log in looking foreward to works from zaiev, anatopist, dreamsinstatic and of course you. You guys cut reality out of the alphabet with surgical exactness!
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wow this is incredibly well written. nice job!
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woah, I love how you used the concept of Avatar to relay the connection of words to the elements of nature. I must say, very well done. And as stated by PrimeXanth's critique, I like your descriptions for air and water. They had substance and fluency. The flow was very well-thought of. I was a bit disappointed with the fire element since it is a powerful element and I think could have had better words to back up its strength and beauty as an element. Still, the overall work was good. Nice job.
--
All the effort is pointless if you don't believe in yourself.
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Word-bender?
YES.
I really hope to hear some fire-word-bending from you some day. And I love the way you thought of a perfect metaphor for each type of element.
True
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I think I saw this on the popular page, I just didn't have the time to read it, sorry about that _
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Sent by who mentioned you in the description of one of his deviations! 
Glorious poem.
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wow this piece of art incense a lot of comments, thats good..
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woa you have a lot of need for feedback? Well it can affect you, not that it doesnt me but as an artist you have to feel you rock so you can entertain youself first because then it like losing it .... well
yeah brilliant stroke of art
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From a poet to another I can simply say WELL DONE! ^_^
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Beautiful and diverse, I honestly love this piece.
Well done.
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Don't listen to those people. This is not as original as they or you think this is. The four elements? Really? To people who don't write well or don't read enough, this could be mistaken for clever. But really it's just a total caricature without any real bearing on anything. Here is an example:
"Gliding freely through the skies of literature"
The skies of literature? Metaphors are supposed to expand upon meaning and show something to the reader. Comparing something as vague and inexpressive as "literature" to the sky does nothing at all for the reader.
You over use the word "emotions" because simply saying "emotion" is much easier than evoking them in a reader. It's an ineffective cop out.
"Painted upon a canvas"
These art metaphors are completely cliche.
"Fire is the last of the four elements
But it is the most difficult of all to portray
For in order to display it I must write in song
And that cannot be done today..."
Again, this whole stanza says almost nothing. You probably were more focused on just rhyming things as opposed to communicating any real meaning.
"We allow our emotions a freedom to be
We allow them to soar upon worded wings"
Honestly, these lines are completely vapid.
Last word bender? Somebody shoot me.
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Well, someone took a trololol pill this morning. I love how you decisively insulted not only the author, but the readers as well.
"Comparing something as vague and inexpressive as "literature" to the sky does nothing at all for the reader." Really? Speak for yourself please. This author showed not only diversity of writing style, but true passion for their subject.
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Oh I'm sorry you didn't like it ^^
Thank you for taking the time to critique :3
-Chen
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That's a really good work. I absolutely love Avatar, and I would be a Firebender of the Fire Nation because of the Dragons. By the way, sorry I hadn't looked into any of your newest deviations, but I promise I will take a time to do it.
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Written on my birthday haha awesome. Really well written
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teach me to be a word bender. i want to learn it all. or at least make me a better wind-word bender
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