HOME | DD
wykling — Out Of The Closet
Published: 2009-02-13 15:07:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 932; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 7
Redirect to original
Description
Out Of The ClosetA Torchwood fanfiction
Jack and Ianto are stuck in a closet; Jack's got an idea how to kill the time but something is disturbing them ;D
*************
"Ianto, are you alright?"
“Yup, a little claustrophobic and just the usual feeling of lost dignity about hiding in a closet and stuff but fine... what about you?”
“Oh you know me...I'm too handsome to be not alright! And I can’t really complain with you all pressing against me.”
“Stop joking. That thing practically impaled you.”
“Why, are you worried about me?”
“Drop it; we should rather worry about that alien out there.”
“Oh, I've encountered them before: Dalurean bladebeast. They are as dumb as they are vicious and absolutely horrified of the darkness; we should be safe as long as it stays pitch-black in here... Tosh was working on a way to adapt the darkroom-bomb technology. This thing should be knocked out as soon as everything in this floor goes black.”
“Wait a minute... you're saying that this thing will faint as soon as everything goes dark?”
“Yeah.”
“And how are we supposed to get out if we can't see a thing?”
“First of all: I doubt that Tosh will keep up the darkness for longer than five minutes max. It may even frighten itself to death if we're lucky; all we've got to do then is collecting the corpse. And second: You'll find that I have no problems finding my way in the dark...”
“…”
“...Jack...”
“Yes?”
“...What are you doing?”
“Proving my point and helping you to relax.”
“...”
“Like it?”
“Oh God...”
“Mmh...is that my favourite aftershave?”
“Yeah, and that was your favourite necktie by the way”
“I know: red silk...feels nice, doesn't it?”
“Oh just drop this shit please!”
“You feel so hot. I bet you are all flushed, aren’t you? Oh yeah…feels pretty warm i…”
“Jack…don’t…”
“Oh come on. Why so tense?”
“Jack, you know why.”
“...”
“Jack, I don't think we should be hrmmff...”
“Why not? You like it... I know you do.”
“BECAUSE I'M STILL IN HERE YOU PERVERTED BUGGER!”
“Oh calm down Owen.”
“God, you should have just left me out there. I'd rather be sliced to death than being stuck in a closet while you two are shagging like rabbits on speed.”
“Yeah sorry, but you can’t, you’re stuck with us so live with it!”
“Stuck is one thing I don’t care with whom I’m stuck in the darkness as long as they keep their fingers exactly where they belong!”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m doing…I’m having my hands exactly where they ought to be.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“You won’t know what I’m doing anyway.”
“But I’ll hear it. I always knew that you’re a flasher but Ianto mate; you really want me to listen while you’re having sex with Jack?”
“Yeah, I don't think I could relax with Owen being in here commenting on everything he hears.”
“Oh you know I've got ways to make you relax... Owen won't know... we won’t make a noise…how’s that?”
“Hrrmmmpf”
“Oooh, kinky boy! I knew you’d like this!”
“Oooh, don't you dare Jack. NOT while I'm in here; do you understand?”
“...ah....he's...oh...right...COULD YOU PLEASE STOP IT???”
“Ow! No need to get violent!”
“You didn't leave me a choice did you?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it, I could feel...”
“Oh you've got to be kidding me! “
“I bet you've never wanted to come out of the closet as much as you want right now, right Owen? ...Jack, stop fondling me.”
“I am not fondling you, just looking for something.”
“Which would be?”
“Car keys?”
“That’s definitely not the place where I would keep them!”
“Sure? …You’re right, that’s definitely not car keys.”
“Ja…oh”
“No.”
“Yeah, that’s my boy…just relax.”
“…stop…oh God…”
“Just call me Jack.”
“Oh…you…are…unbelievable…”
“I’ve been told that before.”
“Oh God help me…”
“Jack, no, NOT now. Put your hand away from there!”
“...”
“Jack!”
“Oh God I wanna get out! Hear me?? I WANT OUT!!!”
Comments: 20
This had me laughing so damn hard lol I would be Owen
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Oh, that was funny - i have never heard a situation where Owen has got what he deserved more than this one! Really made me smile.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
this is obscenely IN character. I don't think I've ever read a fanfic that captured Jack, Ianto and Owen so well.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
haha, it was great until you brought in Owen.... then it became magic! haha, i loved it! nicely done, Bravo....!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
lol i luvs it!!!
Poor owen...
Poor Ianto actually!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*snorts*
u so need to write more of these kinda things theure bloody hellerious... i should really find out how to spell that
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol
it's spelled hilarious by the way, hope i could help ;D
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thx for the spelling its been bugging me for a while... dont supose u know how to spell exzad... eggzadjerate properly not even my english teacher could get his head round it, but anyways off topic write more dark room stuff the blood HILARIOUS XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
do you mean exaggerate?
thankies
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
no problems, you're welcome^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
“BECAUSE I'M STILL IN HERE YOU PERVERTED BUGGER!”
I lol'd. Irl.
For about 10 minutes.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
hee 
its so funny and this bit made me laugh for ages:
“God, you should have just left me out there. I'd rather be sliced to death than being stuck in a closet while you two are shagging like rabbits on speed.”
thankyou very very much for writing it for me, and horny Jack is a very amusing Jack
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol
Does that mean that I may be in for a llewelyn-jake sequel?
*puppy eyes*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
aww, puppy eyes are cute.
at them moment i'm writing another fic but if i can think of a good plot then i may write another fic based on those characters.
x
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yay
That's fine^^ write one when you think of something good. I'm sure it will be brill!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0