Comments: 46
LokiGirl72 [2014-11-08 05:04:45 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
It's amazing XD it makes me smile, it has few or no grammatical errors, it uses colorful words, it has feeling. It is so well written, it gave me chills e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="366" title=" (Big Grin)"/> I really liked how you made Thor a little obnoxious, which is, in my opinion, exactly how he's supposed to be. It also made me feel like I was there, even though Im nowhere near Asgard (sadly) which is the point, and I am disappointed to say that most writers forget who they're writing fanfiction for. Overall, it did exactly what it was supposed to. I give it ten Lokis outta ten e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="366" title=" (Big Grin)"/>
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Xalath In reply to Death-For-One [2014-01-28 19:41:04 +0000 UTC]
I have made some changes about what you have said, and hopefully it is better? Thank you for critiquing my work and for the llama as well ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lady-Mischief-97 In reply to Xalath [2014-01-29 02:00:33 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome! I'm glad you like my critique.
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CANDYNERDZ [2016-11-22 07:58:10 +0000 UTC]
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl in you
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ShadowXLoki [2016-10-14 00:02:18 +0000 UTC]
great story !! i would give u a llama but idk how
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BuckyFanGurl101 [2016-03-20 23:49:57 +0000 UTC]
DAMN, I WAS EXPECTING THE READER TO ASK LOKI TO TEACH HER SOME MAGIC! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
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ijudgelove [2016-01-03 22:05:50 +0000 UTC]
lol did anyone else read the sentence "Hm? Is there a problem with my presence?" as "yo, I'm here now, you got a problem with that? Take me or leave me, but Imma be over here with your hot bro. " XD
Love it!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
VioletMinago [2015-05-30 00:18:20 +0000 UTC]
I loved it!!!! Phrase write more!!!! ^•^
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nightcrawlerlover99 [2015-03-27 16:08:55 +0000 UTC]
I think he meant to say "marry me" XD
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AnnabethLovegd [2015-02-24 01:47:31 +0000 UTC]
Wow.
My lady, I have begun to notice something about you.
You are absolutely flawless at these character personalities.
As a writer, I can first hand tell you that keeping a character 100% in character is REALLY FLIPPING HARD TO DO.
SO HARD OMV.
And you, my friend, absolutely nailed it.
fantastic job!!!!
+1000 points
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
AnnabethLovegd In reply to Xalath [2015-03-09 19:21:04 +0000 UTC]
Yessss you're so awesome for doing that! Most wouldn't put in the effort, thanks for being exceptional!!
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annafuru [2014-03-08 04:50:05 +0000 UTC]
I loved this little story! ^^ are you going to do more?
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FIREELFMAIDEN [2014-02-10 04:03:32 +0000 UTC]
I really enjoyed reading this well done.
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Darkforces84 [2014-02-02 07:08:26 +0000 UTC]
I liked it! It was very interesting!
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Lena-Beana42 [2014-01-30 22:17:14 +0000 UTC]
Love dis! Beautifully written! (I'd send ya a llama, but I don't have points XD) Anotha?
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Xalath In reply to Lena-Beana42 [2014-01-30 22:55:18 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm thinking about making another- but It would have to wait. And you don't need to have points to send a llama xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lena-Beana42 In reply to Xalath [2014-01-31 04:27:08 +0000 UTC]
Np! :3
heh.. I feel so newbish XD I shall send thee a llama!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Xalath In reply to Lena-Beana42 [2014-01-31 05:00:06 +0000 UTC]
Haha xD That's alright :3 I'll send you a llama as well! ^^
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Lena-Beana42 In reply to Xalath [2014-01-31 16:02:16 +0000 UTC]
ehehehe~ Thank you! :3
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WindKunoichiPrincess [2014-01-28 16:07:05 +0000 UTC]
Please keep this going this would be an awesome series.
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